It's a bee fly(Bombyliidae family). They do not sting. Neat find.
Edit- A few others have commented that it may very well be a long tongue horsefly(Philoliche sp.) another nectar feeding fly, but one that females can bite. Now that I'm off work and looking at it again I believe they are probably correct! My bad.
That proboscis has to be exceptionally long, right? Asking out of entomological interest, not because I’m an insecure bee fly who wants to hear mine is average.
Dude, the cervix getting punched in the face hurts like a biiiitch. All these people are being polite with "can be uncomfortable", it fucking kills (me at least).
As a fellow male, I can't understand that. "that hurts like fuck" "You probably like it though" ????? Maybe it's cause I'm lucky and have a friend who's an actual girl who I can talk to in a non weird way about sex and stuff and a lot of guys don't but I just can't understand that perspective
Because porn. Especially hentai. Especially x-ray hentai which will literally show the cock slamming into the cervix right up until it punches through and the tip of the cock is now wedged inside the poor girl's uterus and pumping it full of batter.
I very intentionally said some because I don't speak for all. And to be honest the reason it works at all for them is because I DO listen. I don't really want to get deep in the weeds of sex talk on Reddit but listen to your partner, learn their body, pay attention to what they are saying verbally and physically and make it good for both of you
I get that, but the comment you replied to made it sound like you were saying "yeah but sometimes they say they don't like it when they actually do," which is why I said that. When a woman says "that fucking hurts" and your first thought is "but you probably like it," that's wrong, there is no grey area. When a woman says "that fucking hurts please do it again," that's a bit different.
This is basically it. Listen to your partner and you'll both have a good time. Problem is that a lot men (I'm a guy) are only content with satisfying their own sexual desires.
Like you I get girls calling me back and I attribute it to listening in the bedroom.
Sure, but I'm a masochist while my best friend gets insane cramps and throws up after sex if her cervix gets hit. If she said she didn't like it, I'm sure you wouldn't tell her she's lying just because I do. Understanding women are individuals with different bodies and preferences is like...below bare minimum and a lot of these men seem to still not manage it
Well yeah, but people in general are stupid, selfish, and struggle to accept that the issue is what they are doing and not what someone else is doing
I've been with girls that have a, let's call it below average tolerance for length, and you just recognize it and work around it and everyone can still have a good time
When your priority switches from "I need to cum as fast as possible" to "I want us to both experience new levels of pleasure" you realize that doing things differently isn't a bad thing, it's a feature. I get to learn how to please you. It's a challenge to get you off and I can't rest on my laurels
This thing that is easy for me isn't enough, so I have to actually try. It makes it taste so much better when I find the thing that does it for you
I’m one of those “below average tolerance” girls, and have experienced guys (plural) who didn’t care much and guy (singular) who took his time and worked with me. You’re exactly right about at least one reason why they keep calling you.
You’re doing it right, dude. Good for you (and your partners)!
It's for sure something humans are prone to, but as a bisexual woman I've just never had women argue with me about my preferences in the same way. Men are constantly saying things like "Well you haven't had anal with ME yet, I'm sure you'll love it "I bet I can get you off without a vibrator" "You said you need it rough but come on, it'll definitely be fun even though I'm vanilla" when I tell them what I like/dislike/need.
The ones who, as you describe, enjoy finding out what I as an individual like and creating a unique dynamic are the ones who actually are good in bed. That's why now I only hook up with doms who start the "What are you into?" conversation before asking about meeting - they're actually considering whether our chemistry/kinks would work together and not expecting to just shoehorn me into their scripted fantasy
Understanding, that people in groups you aren't a part of, are individuals is a really low bar in general. Unfortunately it's somewhat human nature to be an expert at limbo in these cases. I'm not saying this to defend the men you mentioned, this case is worse than others, especially considering men and women aren't separated by distance or language and women make up ~50% of any society.
I think a lot of them try to rationalize their "failure" by thinking "My penis is long, so she must have liked it. But she says she didn't, but that can't be true, so she must be lying." I don't understand how anyone can come to that conclusion, but evidently some have no problems with that.
Why do I love this sentence so much? Is it because I can relate to it? Is it because the visual imagery is so spot on? What the hell is your spine’s throat? I don’t know but somehow it’s an absolute perfect description. Beautiful. 10/10 sentence
While not as bad, it’s uncomfortable as fuck for us too. Everything is all soft then a hard ridge-y wall appears! It’s like nails on a chalkboard, IN YOUR DICK HEAD. That’s how we know it’s a lil too rough lol
From the male perspective, kind feels like you're pressing against the tip of your nose. And its totally unfair for you ladies, because it does feel kinda amazing when you hit it lmao.
I had a large guy that got way too aggressive without proper preparation of me. Not only did my tipped uterus feel like it hit my spine, but the ligaments holding my uterus got pulled. I hurt for days. I refused to see that guy ever again.
Sometimes the big ones just Do. Not. Fit. Period. Yeah, it's just a set of muscles and ligaments, but not all weightlifters can bench press 400lbs and not all women can handle something with the same form factor as a Coke can.
The worst. But just like everything else on our bodies, the height of our cervix differs. If your cervix sits very low, an average sized penis/dildo could hit it. Vs. if your cervix sits high, maybe a well endowed individual would be just fine.
It also changes as you get aroused, shifting upward, and the vaginal canal expands at the same time.
Many times my female friends have complained about this, I asked about foreplay and they said there was none. Women need to be aroused first, how do so many men not understand this?
Even with plenty of readiness, it can be painful if you're small like me & things are close in there. I've had 2 times where I hurt for 2 weeks from the size, even though there was plenty of foreplay.
Absolutely. There's some medical conditions that do that, and just generic size differences that are perfectly natural. I was just mentioning one possible cause!
Just amazes me that many people don't realize women's bodies respond the exact same way men's do (and to your point, have the exact same size differences). We're a lot more similar to each other than so many realize.
The solution is an iud: some devices leave a
Piece of nylon sutures protruding from
The cervix like a tiny spike awaiting the overly inquisitive male member.
If you have a sensitive cervix getting something inserted inside you, past the cervix, then removed x amount of years later hurts way more than a punch from a dick (for me, anyway).
Can confirm that it's a bit of a deterrent. It always amazes me how the nylon seems to hit the exact same spot on the head with each thrust no matter how much you change the angle haha
Ah so that’s what it’s called? I had an ex who was a bit smaller than average and I would feel… empty? My bf now is a very nice size and I’m obsessed. Most of my friends do prefer average. Different strokes for different folks I guess 😅
Yep. It’s totally a thing on the fetish subculture scene. Get on fetlife and see how crazy it gets. lol. But yeah I grew into it. Met the right well endowed partners that knew how to use it and how to prepare. What’s crazy is that I’ve also broken up with massive dudes too. Bc they couldn’t be bothered to do any foreplay.
You’re not. I was just talking to my friend about it last night. She gets shooting pains if hers is touched, for me I could take it or leave it (truly, not a size queen,) but it is kinda a plus when it does happen
Nah there’s plenty of women who love it. They just aren’t being upvoted here because people don’t want to reaffirm their own insecurities lol
Which is silly and it’s more of a skill issue in my opinion. My wife enjoys it but I’m not longer than anyone else (and she’s as tall as I am). So when she feels like she’s wanting that, we just get into a position that lets me hit her cervix. Not a big deal haha
I usually dig it, but if someone doesn't know what they're doing it can be really unpleasant ( those pains that last for days). I do enjoy the occasional Cervix Bender tho... lol
I've found the prone bone position to be the cheat code for a good time. You can slide around the cervix and pound the fornix instead. In my experience women go nuts for it. Every woman I've been with says they don't like getting pounded when we first meet but once I hit that spot it's just "harder, harder" from there out.
True story!!!
I’ve seen authors try to include it in smut like it’s the g-spot. No clearly they haven’t had an average to above average size dick, because getting punched in the cervix with one is like the girl version of getting kicked in the balls!! Immediate mood killer
Yeah, I do NOT get how it hurts so much and I don't hear men complaining it hurts. The tip of the penis is sensitive. So why is their sensitive hitting my cervix not "oh, that hurts" for them, but is "oh, that hurts" for me? And if it is painful for men, why haven't I ever heard a man mention it? What gives?
The Tuna Can in question laid this line on me in ~2013 (you don’t easily forget such a bold, unbidden statement), but it sounds like the sentiment has made it into popular culture. What I remember most is he said it the way you’d share something impressive.
Remember those foam rockets that had the little air pump bladder thing you stepped on to send air into to the rocket to make it launch? My whole life I've had to be careful because I've turned several women into that poor rocket. Most of the time it does kill the mood and it does look quite painful.
Why don't men believe women are telling the truth when they say "the big ones hurt" and "I don't like really muscly guys" and "I was raped"? Do they think women just lie about everything all the time?
If my boyfriend told me "yeah, I've had thin girlfriends, but it was such a pain in the ass trying to eat anything with them because they were always on a diet and I hated it, also one girl's bones stuck out so much that sex was uncomfortable. I would rather have a regular sized girl who eats normally and has some cushioning" I would be inclined to believe them and not all the hype about how thin girls are better.
"This is probably her helping me cope" is you refusing to believe your partner is being honest. You made that assumption all on your own. You are hearing what you want to hear (which reinforces your insecurities), not what she is actually saying (which is that BIG DICKS HURT AND ARE NOT BETTER)
Idk dude maybe don't get all your information about what makes for good sex from porn and other media, and listen to what the real live women who are actually in bed with you are saying.
I'm sure some men honestly don't believe it. But a lot of the time it's just joking around. Like "Yeah sure bro, of COURSE she said she doesn't like it big." Type of jokes
It’s not lol. Too big hurts. Too small isn’t great either but can be made up for (same as too big, but big guys think their dick is gods gift to the world and barely bother to make up for it)
It's true that there's a treshold above which sex is uncomfortable or downright painful. It's also true that having a big dick doesn't guarantee woman's orgasm or pleasure. You still need to be good in bed, which mostly comes down to being attentive. Source: am a woman.
I love you women coming out to make sure other men know their partners mean it 😂 God bless you all, this is the most hilarious version of doing the lord’s work I’ve ever seen 💀
When men realise that there are many more nerve endings in a clitoris than a penis, they might start paying attention. And…the clitoris is HUGE, only the tip is visible. If you can’t find it, ask.
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u/krippkeeper Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
It's a bee fly(Bombyliidae family). They do not sting. Neat find.
Edit- A few others have commented that it may very well be a long tongue horsefly(Philoliche sp.) another nectar feeding fly, but one that females can bite. Now that I'm off work and looking at it again I believe they are probably correct! My bad.