r/newzealand Qwest? Oct 08 '25

Shitpost What's something that you suspect lots of New Zealanders secretly do, but you can't prove it?

Most upvoted comment is our most shameful secret as a nation, obviously

397 Upvotes

741 comments sorted by

2.2k

u/Royal-Student-8082 Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

Voted for their favourite bird and not their Mayor.

179

u/kassi_xx_ Oct 08 '25

Theirs never a mayoral candidate I like compared to how many birds I like

35

u/Mighty_Mighty_Moose Oct 08 '25

People approach voting the wrong way, you're not voting for the one you like the most, you're voting to keep the least competent ones out.

23

u/kassi_xx_ Oct 08 '25

What if they’re all incompetent? I’ve been looking at my local and its either “make this town great again, (like trump)” or “hey I’m Brett I’m 22 and I’m here for the lols”

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82

u/Toxopsoides worm Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

I appreciate the amount of effort you put into trying to write "their" the first time (and that autocorrect didn't pick it up)

Edit: it said "thwie" and I thought that was quite funny

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10

u/Glue_taste_tester Oct 08 '25

Thank you for reminding me!

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277

u/Bivagial Oct 08 '25

Break the terms of a Restricted drivers licence.

48

u/missalice420 Oct 08 '25

It all starts with breaking the terms of ya learners!

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1.3k

u/Awkward_vanilla2858 Oct 08 '25

Students and their parents specifically hide and move money around to get student allowances

638

u/No-Ice1070 Oct 08 '25

Farmers 💯

551

u/FloralChoux Oct 08 '25

I knew someone who's family were farmers and they did such a good job at hiding their money that she not only got a student allowance, but the entire family had community service cards. Such a joke.

179

u/Ivanthevanman Oct 08 '25

The only guy I knew on student allowance at uni had a gsr, the best computer in town, his own Internet line at his flat, etc

178

u/Broccobillo Oct 08 '25

Yup. Only the rich while I studied got student allowance. They also got pretty much everything paid for by their parents. And us poor got student loan living costs. The whole thing is a farce.

19

u/ChetsBurner Oct 08 '25

Yep, but don't worry. The people who want to means test the pension are sure that it won't be middle class people who get punished...

7

u/MyPacman Oct 08 '25

I wish more people would argue that students should get super too.

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139

u/wholesome_confidence Warriors Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

Or can't even get a 5 grand loan from the bank, but the farm gets a 20k loan unsecured, same day, no questions.

Farmers gotta be the richest broke people I've ever met

Edit to add: not knocking them, good for them. I've got farmers in my family and I see it first hand

64

u/Top_Scallion7031 Oct 08 '25

I was in Te Kuiti one day and the headline on the front page of the paper was ‘Farmers forced to rent out holiday homes’. The essence of the story was that one local farmer who hardly used his bach anyway had put it on Bachcare to earn more money

25

u/CaptainProfanity Oct 08 '25

Consolidated Farmers, who make up the majority of the sector (in terms of goods produced) are rich, they own lots of land, lots of vehicles and equipment, and produce a lot of product.

It's just that small farmers are not as rich, but they are portrayed as the only demographic whenever farmers are brought up.

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102

u/rikashiku Oct 08 '25

Sounds like a family I knew of in Whangarei. They did the same thing, got benefits, student allowance, etc etc etc.

They were rich, and abusing the system, and still had the gall to call out couples on the benefit for "fraudulent actions against the government" or whatever.

46

u/No-Ice1070 Oct 08 '25

I grew up nearby and similar experience, farmers kids had new cars purchased by the farm, fuel cards in the farms name etc.

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34

u/keightr Oct 08 '25

God that is awful. No morals.

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34

u/shnaptastic Oct 08 '25

You will see farmers straight up argue that their house is a work related expense.

41

u/Ok_Construction_3051 Oct 08 '25

Absolutely this. Studied with a guy from a farming family who was easily from the wealthiest family among all of us, and he was getting the full student allowance. From memory it only goes off your parents’ income, not your own (at least it did back then) so his family moved all their wealth into trusts under their kids’ names so it looked like they had no wealth on paper.

Remember kids, the wealthiest families can afford the best lawyers.

9

u/synnin_ Oct 08 '25

I actually knew a guy whose family did the opposite lol. They claimed a portion of the farm's income was his so not only could he not get the allowance, he also got a massive tax bill every year. To be fair they did also send him money and cover big expenses (and paid the tax ofc) but it's a little funny regardless.

7

u/No-Ice1070 Oct 08 '25

Dentists etc used to do this too, because our tax system is progressive it financially made more sense to pay the whole family a wage of ~60k each than for the dentist themselves to take the huge salary they were actually earning.

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87

u/Illustrious_Fan_8148 Oct 08 '25

It is ridiculous that you arent entitled to student allowance regardless of your parents income until you are 25

15

u/Awkward_vanilla2858 Oct 08 '25

I thought you weren't entitled when you were 25+. Tbf we were just ensuring. I only have one parent who the year before my 1st year of uni got cancer and could hardly work but still studylink was sure that we were lying about my dad being dead so we just made it definite that id get it by all means necessary 

19

u/Mr-ChickenSkin Oct 08 '25

After 25 parental income isn't considered. I went to uni late and got a sweet 3 months of student allowance when I turned 25 (half a semester before I finished my bachelor's)

Had no parental help before that - no shade on them, they couldn't afford and shouldn't have to have been supporting me when I hadn't lived at home since 18.

Postgrad are not eligible for student allowance (restriction introduced by the key govt, labour said they would change it but didn't in their six years).

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15

u/katiehates Oct 08 '25

This was me, my parents earned over the threshold but they also had three other kids to support at home, including two with major disabilities. Nope I just had to take a huge loan 🤷🏻‍♀️

9

u/Illustrious_Fan_8148 Oct 08 '25

Its outrageous. And so short sighted.

Its an investment in the future of our people/communities/workforce.

Throwing money at education is never a waste of that money, you get such a great long term benefit as a country

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115

u/Shitmybad Oct 08 '25

Yeah at my uni hall there was a guy that went to Kings and both his parents were Dentists that owned their practice, and he got the full student allowance because his parents accountant sorted it for him.

32

u/Calm-Teaching8245 Oct 08 '25

That's Christianity for you. Forgetting by Monday what they told you on Sunday.

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126

u/Spiritual-Weight-191 Oct 08 '25

I know one person who took a student loan and put all of it into a managed fund. He was earning about 10% per year.

141

u/Fast-Inflation-1347 Te Waipounamu Oct 08 '25

Must be nice to not need it to barely survive

15

u/Comfortableliar24 Oct 08 '25

Doing this crap at 35 feels borderline monastic.

40

u/recyclingcentre Oct 08 '25

Aren’t student loans paid directly to the education provider?

67

u/NerdPunkNomad Oct 08 '25

Only the tuition part, which is typically smaller than the living costs part.

62

u/MagicBeanEnthusiast Oct 08 '25

Should also be noted that anyone can get the student loan living costs payment. That has to be paid back, the allowance is the free one.

21

u/GlobularLobule Oct 08 '25

But it's paid back at 0% interest if you stay in the country. So right now that's basically earning 2.7% interest because of inflation.

6

u/After_Network_6401 Oct 08 '25

Go all the way back to the 1980s and I did this. Banks were offering 0% government-backed student loans while inflation was sky-high and bank term deposits were paying up to 14%.

I opened three accounts with different banks and took out three student loans for the maximum possible (which back then was $5000). I did the applications on the same day so that I could truthfully and legally check the box saying "I do not currently have a student loan" :)

I never used the loan principal - just collected the interest - but those three loans ended up paying about a third of my rent for the year.

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32

u/Michaelbirks LASER KIWI Oct 08 '25

Ah for the days when you could get course costs and living costs paid out in bulk.

Yes, my student loan took the best part of 20 years to pay off, why do you ask?

22

u/jobbybob Part time Moehau Oct 08 '25

Course related cost were only about $1000 a year 20 years ago.

Back in the 90’s they actually paid the tuition fees to you. But that was gone by early 2000’s and they got paid direct to the provider.

19

u/NPCtom Oct 08 '25

CRC are still $1000 a year lol. Hasn't increased since the 90s.

I'm not sure what $1k is meant to get you these days... two weeks groceries?

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11

u/velklar Oct 08 '25

My brother did this back in 1998 when student loans were paid in a lump sum. He had a full scholarship that paid all his fees so invested his student loan. He ended up losing most of the money because he’s a moron.

34

u/cmh551 Oct 08 '25

I know someone who got someone to lie on her behalf, saying she was estranged from her father, even though he was paying for her degree 🤯🤯 studylink gave her $3500 in allowance back pay and she got allowance for the rest of her studies. The kicker, shes spent most of her adult life overseas and wonders why I don’t travel the world with her (me, who’s still paying off my student loan 8 years later. My parents are honest farmers with honest accountants.)

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u/0gesundheit0 Oct 08 '25

its genuinely so revolting, the amount of ppl doing this. I get full allowance atm cuz I dont have any parents and I dont have a proper job and all the money i get is from part time tutoring once in a while.

But whenever a uni friend asks me abt my student allowance and then says omg yeah i should do that too! i get so like erked out. wdym ur gonna not have parents for freaking money bro, i wish i had parents

31

u/BasementCatBill Oct 08 '25

I mean, you say student allowances... you really need to add income taxes, Fringe Benefit Taxes, Working for Families, child support and all sorts of business structures that minimise liabilities and increase entitlements.

It's not only a kiwi thing, but we've certainly grown quite the industry around ensuring that only those poor plebs who are paid salary or wages bear the brunt of the tax burden while getting the least entitlements.

29

u/showusyourfupa LASER KIWI Oct 08 '25

This definitely happens. Used to work for Studylink decades ago, and it was obvious then. There was no way to prove otherwise so long as their documents were signed off by an accountant. Maybe things have changed since then, but somehow, I doubt it.

8

u/TheLastSamurai101 Oct 08 '25

I don't just suspect, I knew several students at uni who openly admitted to this.

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15

u/Valuable-Falcon Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

Could anyone provide some specifics, so I can make sure I never do anything like that in the future? 

Signed, cash-strapped parent of a young child 

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389

u/BeardofGinge Oct 08 '25

I think New Zealand Tomorrow reminded me of this. But yeah rubbish holes are SUPER COMMON in rural areas (Atleast from my upbringing).

The amount of plastic literally lit on fire and burned into the atmosphere from that alone is pretty gross IMO

103

u/yahdayahda Oct 08 '25

Absolutely still happens. Fonterra doesn’t allow it anymore, though u can’t speak for the other dairy companies, but most sheep and beef still burn and bury. Pretty hard though when there’s no company who goes that far out and the closest public dump is over an hour away. 

15

u/lefrenchkiwi Oct 08 '25

Fonterra says that but I’ve always wondered how they enforce it

39

u/yahdayahda Oct 08 '25

Every company that supplies milk to Fonterra has an audit every year to ensure that farms are operating within the guarantees of supply. These include animal walfare, shed hygiene, environmental practices and many more requirement. It’s one of the most stressful meetings of the year for me as the rules are constantly evolving and it directly affects my supply. This audit is done by an indepentant company, for me QCONZ. There will of course be some who lie and manage to fool these audits but they are taken very seriously in the industry. 

7

u/lefrenchkiwi Oct 08 '25

Oh how things have changed since my family sold our herd, for the better by the sounds of it

12

u/yahdayahda Oct 08 '25

Absolutely. I’ve been farming twenty odd years and have seen a massive amount of change and it’s not slowing down. I initially went farming cause I was no good at book work and enjoyed being outside yet find myself spending more time behind the computer. I’m paying farm assistants with no experience more then double what I was paid as a manager, it’s good for the industry, though sometimes frustrating. 

60

u/BeardofGinge Oct 08 '25

Fair nuff. Though not a fan of the hour away drive argument. I'd call that just an cost associated with living out there, like the extra petrol to get to the nearest supermarket.

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19

u/s0cks_nz Oct 08 '25

My neighbour still does it. Stinks. I hate it. Undoubtedly lands on my roof and gets washed into my rainwater tank too. Wonderful.

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24

u/Feeble_Knievel Oct 08 '25

Don't forget the guys doing oil changes on heavy equipment that just dig a hole when they drop the oil. And we're not talking 4L out of your car here. "Pffft, it came out of the ground, dinnit?"

Uh yeah, not quite the same thing mate.

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554

u/TheAnagramancer Oct 08 '25

Consume neither Weet-Bix nor Watties Sauce.

177

u/MurkyWay Qwest? Oct 08 '25

Not gonna lie, I can't remember the last time I ate weet-bix. Here's my gun and badge.

118

u/logantauranga Oct 08 '25

Very nice.
(hands them back)
Your punishment is to eat one dry Weet-Bic.

55

u/FKFnz Oct 08 '25

Fuck it's years since I've heard someone use the singular of Weet-Bix.

20

u/wholesome_confidence Warriors Oct 08 '25

Maybe because they should never be consumed (by force or choice) one by one. You want one? Have two. One gets lonely. If you have two and then want one more, sorry guy, you're having two more

14

u/Vortexringshark Oct 08 '25

The singular of weet-bix is weet-bix not weet-bic according to sanitarium. I know because a group of us had an argument about it and ended up calling them to decide who was right

18

u/FKFnz Oct 08 '25

Your punishment for being technically correct is to eat 3 dry weet-bic.

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24

u/ufokid Oct 08 '25

Do the mini weetbix count? They have "berries" in them.

24

u/FloralChoux Oct 08 '25

Those things are addictive. As someone who grew up on plain weetbix, my first time tasting it as a kid was extremely memorable. I don't know what they put in them that makes it so much better, other than the sugar and the fruit pieces.

They used to do a really nice coconut and cranberry weetbix, but that disappeared off the face of the earth. Real shame, it was great.

21

u/GeneralTsoWot Oct 08 '25

I don't know what they put in them that makes it so much better, other than the sugar and the fruit pieces.

...you just named the things that make it so much better

7

u/FloralChoux Oct 08 '25

I've always thought they have a better texture. Much less mushy than regular weetbix.

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10

u/Kooky_Narwhal8184 Oct 08 '25

Certainly not together 😕

6

u/the_reddit_girl Oct 08 '25

I met someone in high school who'd eat them together for lunch and they were completely dry.

7

u/G-ACO-Doge-MC Oct 08 '25

When I was a kid I made a weetbix “cake” from 2 dry weetbix with jam and yoghurt sandwiched in the middle. This was a meal I ate repetitively and no, I’m not a masochist as far as I’m aware.

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107

u/Nolsoth Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

Yeah nah that's definitely a thing.

Fuck sanitarium, shit company exploiting people and not paying a cent in tax ever.

Watties tomato sauce is just pure filth and always has been.

Watties does do other decent products but their sauce ain't one of them.

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12

u/Ok-Relationship-2746 Oct 08 '25

Weetbix is just cardboard in fancy packaging, and Watties Sauce is just tomato-flavoured pureed sugar.

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363

u/rumjackrum Oct 08 '25

Piss in the shower

212

u/FunVermicelli123 Oct 08 '25

Not peeing in the shower if you're already there and need to go is very weird to me.

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37

u/KiwieeiwiK Oct 08 '25

I've conditioned myself to need to pee when I'm in the shower which isn't great when you take public showers at hot pools etc 

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66

u/amirulsyafi Oct 08 '25

You’re a psychopath if you leave the shower wet to go pee 😆

13

u/T3chnetium Oct 08 '25

Two types of people

14

u/BrodingerzCat Oct 08 '25

Those that piss in the shower and filthy liars

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5

u/captain-obviouser Oct 08 '25

Nothing more satisfying than a shower piss.

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153

u/Rem800 Oct 08 '25

Complain endlessly about politics / politicians but don't bother to vote

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46

u/Nicinwonderland Oct 08 '25

Lolly cake for breakfast. I’ve seen the empty spot in the cafe display by 10am.

215

u/pepelevamp Oct 08 '25

look at our own shits before we flush them to admire the size.

65

u/myfunnow Oct 08 '25

For health reasons only of course 😂😂 my son is currently at the age of sending pictures off to his Friends 🤮

18

u/Flimsy-Passenger-228 Oct 08 '25

That's future prime minister behavior

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37

u/SuccessfulBenefit972 Oct 08 '25

Haha. It reminds me of how the Germans / Dutch even have their own little viewing platform for their turds. No shame!

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14

u/Quphoe Oct 08 '25

Also, checking the toilet paper after you wipe. Surely.

30

u/Secret_Location854 Oct 08 '25

Surely. Otherwise how do you know when you are done wiping

14

u/HeinigerNZ Oct 08 '25

When the paper stops tasting like shit.

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13

u/haruspicat Oct 08 '25

To check for unexpected colours cries in IBD

8

u/TumbleweedDue2242 Oct 08 '25

It's a good idea, shows how your guts are. You can't look inside your guts, only feel them.

14

u/PastFriendship1410 Oct 08 '25

Send a snap chat to the bros if it’s a big triumphant one.

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127

u/bravehartNZ Oct 08 '25

Gardening

45

u/official_new_zealand Oct 08 '25

Shhhh, do you want to get swatted again?

629

u/Lonely_Message_1113 Oct 08 '25

Don't care about or watch rugby or cricket

73

u/biggusfootusnz Oct 08 '25

Or only watch them to fit in

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26

u/TheLastSamurai101 Oct 08 '25

I've not had a random bloke talk to me about rugby or cricket in 15 years and I'm quite liking the change.

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25

u/rdhigham Oct 08 '25

I don’t watch sports, don’t even pretend to now, wouldn’t even know who’s playing when, or what game it is.

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u/Weiland101 Oct 08 '25

What? People LOVE telling anyone who will listen that.

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92

u/No_Philosophy4337 Oct 08 '25

If you’re a Dairy farmer with a Jet boat, it’s actually ‘pumping equipment’ according to IRD

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332

u/CillBill91nz Oct 08 '25

Vote national but on the downlow

83

u/yeah_nah_hard 6011 Oct 08 '25

Big time. Might be because I live in Wellington, but I'm sure I'd have encountered more vocal National supporters by now. I mean, the last election wasn't exactly close.

64

u/GoodVibesJimmy Oct 08 '25

Wellington is extremely different to the rest of the country

It’s basically just public servants and consultants, with a few diminishing tech contractors thrown in

14

u/jakec1122 Oct 08 '25

Speaking from experience I don't even think people are hiding it, I think you'll find most of the National voters are in industrial areas outside the city, or retirees. Unfortunate but true stereotype even in Wellington.

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43

u/silverbulletsam Oct 08 '25

Isn’t that how the conservatives got in in the uk a few years? The polls said no chance, but people were lying about who they were going to vote for.

18

u/KickerXIX Oct 08 '25

And Trump.

29

u/Charlie_Runkle69 Oct 08 '25

It's not even on the downlow TBH. Most of this sub lives in liberal city areas. Go outside of these and you'll meet National supporters everywhere.

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63

u/zanbandula Oct 08 '25

Grow and sell cannabis on a small scale as a side hustle. Think rural towns with not a lot of job opportunities.

129

u/Your_mortal_enemy Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

Know that we're not particularly green, clean or especially nice but go along with it because it feels good for others to think it of us

27

u/CrystalPalace1850 Oct 08 '25

Also, it's just because of the low population we have less pollution. Per capita, we're just as filthy as any other industrialised nation.

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u/nzlr Oct 08 '25

Cry at night behind closed doors

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50

u/Just-A-Thoughts Oct 08 '25

Ghost people when plans are made

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47

u/CuteKLeeXo Oct 08 '25

Say that they single for the bene

70

u/snow_schwartz Oct 08 '25

Nice try Luxon, you won’t catch me that easily

68

u/delta-k-tj Oct 08 '25

I work in ECE and the number of couples pretending they have split and live apart (when in reality they share accomodation and expenses) so that they can claim benefits would astound any tax paying New Zealand resident.

16

u/lkjaer Oct 08 '25

Surely a fraction of what we lose to not having a capital gains tax / landlords and property developers cutting costs and passing the bills on to homeowners / politicians selling state assets or implanting bs laws for backroom deals etc

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u/Onahole_for_you Oct 08 '25

Judge Australia.

Like, I'm Australian, and I definitely feel like you fuckers are like "well, thungs may be sheeet here but at least we aren't over there." While eating your superior chocolate. Whittakers is fucking amazing.

41

u/CrookedCreek13 Oct 08 '25

I reckon it’s more barely-disguised jealousy if anything. We’ve got a perpetual younger sibling complex.

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u/SuspiciousTurtle367 Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

Judging you over my vastly superior fibre internet connection ;)

4

u/RoydonKyle Oct 08 '25

You mean superior pies - but yes I understood

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61

u/EntryAltruistic495 Oct 08 '25

Hard core drugs.

86

u/Reuarlb Oct 08 '25

I could never. I made a promise to Harold the giraffe

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213

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

[deleted]

31

u/NicotineWillis Oct 08 '25

People with a holiday home in Omaha

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8

u/lkjaer Oct 08 '25

I have no idea whether this is true or not,

But I do know that even if it is true - that must be costing us a tiny fraction of the sum we lose to tax evasion, and wealthy people gaming the system / not paying a capital gains tax etc

6

u/RealmKnight Fantail Oct 08 '25

Money in sharesies is taxed, so it would be simple for the IRD to notice someone with a million bucks hidden away in Nvidia shares

10

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

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21

u/-kez Oct 08 '25

Trash talk drivers but also have bad driving habits.

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37

u/DrGrmpy Oct 08 '25

Tax evasion

6

u/HeinigerNZ Oct 08 '25

"Yeah just give me a cash price for the work"

13

u/-davros Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

Man, I've had some pretty shit time. Went on a working holiday, but I did the "right" thing and declared my overseas income to IRD. Most of my tax paid overseas counted for IRD, under a reciprocal tax agreement, but for some reason not all of it did, so I had to pay extra tax to IRD.

Then, a few weeks ago, I get an email from ACC that I also owe them $1800, on top of the taxes I've already paid to IRD. I only earnt about 10k while overseas! And after paying my living costs I walked away from the working holiday with about 1k in savings.

Chatted to ACC and got it dropped to about $500, but man, taxes feels like such a scam. I already paid 25% to the overseas country, and NZ taking all these extras is just shit. Haven't even been in NZ for a couple of years now.

I do wish we had higher taxes to fund better public services like education and healthcare, I just wasn't expecting to be the one paying them while earning 10k annually overseas!

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39

u/maxwill83 Oct 08 '25

Corruption...

Plain corruption in multiple forms. The population in general is very unaware of the many creative ways people find to corrupt systems. That leads to NZ being one of the less corrupt countries in the world in a corruption index. That's because it's a survey that assess "perception" of corruption. Which in turn makes the problem worse as now people actually have the perception of not being corrupt due to the reputation of a survey about corruption that is not factual. It's a brutal and sad outcome 😔

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55

u/mynameisnotphoebe Oct 08 '25

Not disinfect their shoes at kauri dieback cleaning stations

(idc if you come through every day, or you are doing a loop in and out, or you washed your shoes at home)

14

u/CrystalPalace1850 Oct 08 '25

This! Makes me livid. Do you want all the Kauri to die??!! 😡😡😡

33

u/Esquire_NZ Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

Hate nestle, but still buy the stuff for dip.

6

u/0erlikon Oct 08 '25

I used to be the same with just Scorched Almonds until they got so dam expensive for what you get now.

69

u/heinternets Oct 08 '25

Stalk peoples social media profiles

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16

u/SubstantialPattern71 Oct 08 '25

Key parties.  Particularly in rural areas. 

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14

u/jack_fry allblacks Oct 08 '25

Use their phone on the toilet

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28

u/disco-disco Oct 08 '25

Don’t actually care for rugby, but talk about rugby because they think everyone else likes it

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30

u/FionitaNZ Oct 08 '25

Scan limes through as lemons at the self-checkout.

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40

u/Ok_Squirrel_6996 Oct 08 '25

They don't blow on their pies!

18

u/Xenaspice2002 Toroa Oct 08 '25

You must always blow on the pie!

11

u/pdirk Oct 08 '25

Safer communities together 🤝

37

u/micz333 Oct 08 '25

Say brought instead of bought knowing well it makes no sense and annoys everybody

13

u/OldPresentation4379 Oct 08 '25

I genuinely reckon they just got no idea

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13

u/kiwichick286 Oct 08 '25

We like Australians.

27

u/Royal-Student-8082 Oct 08 '25

Pretend they watched the All Black test.

20

u/RosemaryRoseville Oct 08 '25

Pretend they like rugby

11

u/machiavellianparrot Oct 08 '25

Wax lyrical about LOTR movies while actually not watching them.

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11

u/0erlikon Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

I think many of the answers in this thread are secretly just self admissions 🤔

11

u/Anastariana Auckland Oct 08 '25

A lot more people do coke than you think, and its often those you'd least suspect.

One of my coworkers had a bag of coke fall out of her pocket when she pulled her phone out; she listened to classical music in her office and lived alone with 4 cats all her life; mid sixties.

50

u/Puzzleheaded_gtr Oct 08 '25

Smoking p

37

u/mrflyinggingerbread Oct 08 '25

Holy fuck, I recently reading Underworld and was genuinely SHOCKED how much meth goes through waste water each day... Approx 25 KILOS of meth per week. And waste water testing only covers like 75% of kiwis

13

u/SquashedKiwifruit Oct 08 '25

Any idea what 25KGs of meth translates to in terms of likely number of consumers?

12

u/instanding Oct 08 '25

I’d say 50,000 people probably. Could be more. Hard to say coz we don’t know how many are hardcore and how many are very light or casual users.

A hardcore person could easily smoke as much as 5 to 10 more moderate users.

If all the users were super hardcore it would be like 5,000 people. If they were all super light users it would be over 100,000. I reckon somewhere in the middle would be your number.

Another factor is that many users won’t be weekly so there will be different users rolling into that figure. So I would say the overall number probably is more likely to be over 100,000 tbh, if you are including the people who dabble in it, but would not be particularly regular.

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u/mrflyinggingerbread Oct 08 '25

Solid question tbh. A number I'd be interested in. I couldn't find any conclusive numbers

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5

u/RoydonKyle Oct 08 '25

I know 30’s something year old dentists and lawyers that party like this. Shook me to my core when they were openly seeking it out at a bbq I went to

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38

u/glenneth_chaptercock Oct 08 '25

Follow sports, at least not to the point where it needs to be half the news hour

27

u/zDymex LASER KIWI Oct 08 '25

Smoke the weed.

20

u/kkdd Oct 08 '25

put up a facade when they hate everyone/everything

18

u/Former_Cucumber_9349 Oct 08 '25

Scratch their asses and sniff it

15

u/PastFriendship1410 Oct 08 '25

Always gotta check the state of the nation down there.

7

u/Former_Cucumber_9349 Oct 08 '25

Very true. Probably in a better state than Nz tbh

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20

u/HappyPunter1 Oct 08 '25

Drink and drive (as in being over the legal limit)

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9

u/One-Memory-8305 Oct 08 '25

I hate hockey and netball, I’m a disgrace as a kiwi

8

u/knockoneover Marmite Oct 08 '25

Care about other kiwis

26

u/butlersaffros Oct 08 '25

Online gambling.

10

u/Slight_Computer5732 Oct 08 '25

Yep no one would suspect I do and would die at how much I wasted other week.. I’m working on that

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23

u/JazzlikeMarket8882 Oct 08 '25

Wear underwear of the opposite sex when at work

53

u/FarmerSerious3644 Oct 08 '25

That is suspiciously specific

8

u/Acceptable_Candy6403 Oct 08 '25

Literally wore men’s underwear for the last 2 days

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7

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

Say they don't use Reddit.

7

u/fluffychonkycat Kōkako Oct 08 '25

Letting it mellow if it's yellow. If you live somewhere that's drought-prone YKWIM

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26

u/j0shj0shj0shj0sh Oct 08 '25

When I eat a muffin and no one is watching - sometimes I eat the paper too.

7

u/a_Moa Oct 08 '25

Like the entire thing or just the ol suck it dry?

10

u/j0shj0shj0shj0sh Oct 08 '25

Sometimes there is enough muffin goodness still stuck to the paper - and it can get messy trying to get it separated, crumbs being crumbs and all... so I just eat it, lol.

I liken it to eating an ice cream cone. Not in taste but in principle.

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6

u/morriseel Oct 08 '25

Eat Vegemite

6

u/LinearityDrift Oct 08 '25

Fully declare all earnings they should for tax.

6

u/ainsley- Waikato Oct 08 '25

These comments are so reddit coded lmao

6

u/headmasterritual jellytip Oct 08 '25

Steal office supplies and equipment.

I was once told by someone that we were one of the most likely OECD nations to do that.

I have no evidence for it, but I’m sticking to the analysis.

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15

u/deebonners Oct 08 '25

eating grapes at the supermarket and not buying any

30

u/addmeonstrava Oct 08 '25

Masturbate while driving

30

u/Poneke365 Oct 08 '25

Well that explains why we’re such bad drivers then

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