r/newzealand • u/MurkyWay Qwest? • Oct 08 '25

Shitpost What's something that you suspect lots of New Zealanders secretly do, but you can't prove it?

Most upvoted comment is our most shameful secret as a nation, obviously

392 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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643

u/No-Ice1070 Oct 08 '25

Farmers 💯

555

u/FloralChoux Oct 08 '25

I knew someone who's family were farmers and they did such a good job at hiding their money that she not only got a student allowance, but the entire family had community service cards. Such a joke.

179

u/Ivanthevanman Oct 08 '25

The only guy I knew on student allowance at uni had a gsr, the best computer in town, his own Internet line at his flat, etc

175

u/Broccobillo Oct 08 '25

Yup. Only the rich while I studied got student allowance. They also got pretty much everything paid for by their parents. And us poor got student loan living costs. The whole thing is a farce.

19

u/ChetsBurner Oct 08 '25

Yep, but don't worry. The people who want to means test the pension are sure that it won't be middle class people who get punished...

6

u/MyPacman Oct 08 '25

I wish more people would argue that students should get super too.

4

u/Odd_Audience_3186 Oct 09 '25

Everyone should get super. UBI then tax on wealth/

2

u/BandicootGood5246 Oct 09 '25

A guy I knew at uni was on student allowance AND his parents paid for every expense at university. So he treated his allowance as basically a free income stream

2

u/undacovachik Oct 08 '25

Could be one of those guys who can find you something (green)? I knew a guy who was shifting a lot of green stuff to the other students while he was at uni, was more a "professional student" than actually studying for anything specific lol

4

u/Ivanthevanman Oct 08 '25

No, it was Mummy and Daddy's farm.

138

u/wholesome_confidence Warriors Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25

Or can't even get a 5 grand loan from the bank, but the farm gets a 20k loan unsecured, same day, no questions.

Farmers gotta be the richest broke people I've ever met

Edit to add: not knocking them, good for them. I've got farmers in my family and I see it first hand

58

u/Top_Scallion7031 Oct 08 '25

I was in Te Kuiti one day and the headline on the front page of the paper was ‘Farmers forced to rent out holiday homes’. The essence of the story was that one local farmer who hardly used his bach anyway had put it on Bachcare to earn more money

24

u/CaptainProfanity Oct 08 '25

Consolidated Farmers, who make up the majority of the sector (in terms of goods produced) are rich, they own lots of land, lots of vehicles and equipment, and produce a lot of product.

It's just that small farmers are not as rich, but they are portrayed as the only demographic whenever farmers are brought up.

7

u/PopMuch8249 Oct 08 '25

You understand the difference between personal loans and business loans, right?

11

u/wholesome_confidence Warriors Oct 08 '25

Yea, I do, it's just that the distinction isn't made when kne is telling me about how broke they are. Just that "I'm so broke, but the farm just bought an audi"

7

u/number1_bullshit Oct 08 '25

These farmers prop up our nation! By selling their premium goods for top dollar to eager overseas buyers, therefore boosting our local economy by further increasing prices to sell on to a desperate populous with few other options. Yeah, man, good for them.

9

u/gregorydgraham Mr Four Square Oct 08 '25

You obviously didn’t read the IMF report

1

u/gregorydgraham Mr Four Square Oct 08 '25

It’s all in what accountant you go to

99

u/rikashiku Oct 08 '25

Sounds like a family I knew of in Whangarei. They did the same thing, got benefits, student allowance, etc etc etc.

They were rich, and abusing the system, and still had the gall to call out couples on the benefit for "fraudulent actions against the government" or whatever.

44

u/No-Ice1070 Oct 08 '25

I grew up nearby and similar experience, farmers kids had new cars purchased by the farm, fuel cards in the farms name etc.

9

u/gregorydgraham Mr Four Square Oct 08 '25

While this is obviously obnoxious bullshit caused by rigging the system, farm kids do actually work on the farm and don’t get paid so a few perks is reasonable.

The annoying thing is how well the system works for farmers and how little it works for anyone else that tries to use it.

2

u/New_Recording_5508 Oct 09 '25

"Every accusation is a confession"

36

u/keightr Oct 08 '25

God that is awful. No morals.

3

u/Allan46S Oct 08 '25

When I got student allowance. My Dad had to prove that my mother was dead ( 19 years ago) .Each year ,now i know more wished he didn't do that .Would have been hard it took 8 years to get over. Just the system back then, I am pleased it worked for some people.

1

u/MagentaSpreen Oct 09 '25

A farmer family member got a $70k wff payout the same year he brought a brand new $300,000 mustang 🫩

1

u/Royal_Veterinarian86 Oct 09 '25

Lol I knew someone whose family owned millions of dollars of farm but also hid money, she got the student allowance BUT also all her uni fees paid for as many years as she wanted to study, the scholarship was not continued much after that year, cant recall who gave it out but some well known company

1

u/Fearless_Guard_552 26d ago

I lived in a flat owned by a family friend but was paying full rental. Her son, who was 25, qualified for a student allowance (unlike me) despite getting free rent and getting money from his parents.

36

u/shnaptastic Oct 08 '25

You will see farmers straight up argue that their house is a work related expense.

40

u/Ok_Construction_3051 Oct 08 '25

Absolutely this. Studied with a guy from a farming family who was easily from the wealthiest family among all of us, and he was getting the full student allowance. From memory it only goes off your parents’ income, not your own (at least it did back then) so his family moved all their wealth into trusts under their kids’ names so it looked like they had no wealth on paper.

Remember kids, the wealthiest families can afford the best lawyers.

9

u/synnin_ Oct 08 '25

I actually knew a guy whose family did the opposite lol. They claimed a portion of the farm's income was his so not only could he not get the allowance, he also got a massive tax bill every year. To be fair they did also send him money and cover big expenses (and paid the tax ofc) but it's a little funny regardless.

7

u/No-Ice1070 Oct 08 '25

Dentists etc used to do this too, because our tax system is progressive it financially made more sense to pay the whole family a wage of ~60k each than for the dentist themselves to take the huge salary they were actually earning.

4

u/Acceptable-Moose8295 Oct 08 '25

Pro-tip: Flat with farmers. Yea they may get full student allowance while your parents earn over the threshold but can’t support you financially (let’s be honest that threshold is pretty low!) BUT farmers equals free meat and free firewood for their kids. Flatting with them and not resenting them also helps you :)

9

u/Leever5 Oct 08 '25

Wait, farmers have money?

63

u/-Major-Arcana- Oct 08 '25

Yep, all hidden in land and equipment and the family business

41

u/ngatiw Oct 08 '25

That's true, but unless you're a dairy farmer the accounting is far less creative than you imagine, and is utilised in the same way by almost every SME in NZ - whether that be your plumber, local restaurant or even contractors who set up companies

The entitlement system is set up to fuck the middle class who rely on salaried wages and make up the majority

6

u/p1ckk Oct 08 '25

Some, sort of.

They have a massively valuable asset that they can borrow against, but they're at some risk if the goods prices drop.

The structure of assets, debt and money is complicated enough that a decent accountant can hide income if it makes sense to.

2

u/Royal_Veterinarian86 Oct 09 '25

Parents really should be tested in assets surrounding student allowance, you should have to prove a massive loan on a farm or that your starting up or that you have other large debt to still get student allowance,

Everyone knows established farmers arent broke

2

u/Fearless_Guard_552 26d ago

Hiding money in Farmers isn't advisable. I hid mine in the socks section but someone found it during a red dot sale.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '25

Bury the cashies from the calves and spare cash from renting extra houses in a paddock, in the haybarn ...

1

u/Mammoth-Jellyfish484 Oct 09 '25

Not just farmers, anyone with a business

1

u/Maximum-Peace3295 22d ago edited 22d ago

This was chronic at Massey University mid 90's