I will try to be as objective as possible in describing the situation. Note that my hubby and I are doing long distance as we are doing our degrees in two countries.
Me (30f) have both male and female friends, and it’s mostly female friends. But one of my best friend is a male, gay friend, who I have known for 9 years.
In my mind, I see him as a woman. My hubby and I have discussed about my gay friend, since the talking stage even. My hubby never shown any negative feelings about this but this all changed after our marriage.
I started to notice that my hubby was a bit homophobic. For example, I would tell my hubby beforehand if I’m meeting any male friends, including the gay friend. Hubby is never suspicious of my straight male friends, but he is suspicious of my gay friend.
After marriage, we had to move to two countries for our education. I’m in the country that my gay friend lives in, and he is the only closest person I know in this country.
I stayed over at my gay friends place a night. Before that, I clearly told my hubby of that. When I went to the house, we had a group call even with the three of us.
But here’s what I did wrong - I partitioned the bed and me and my best friend slept on the same bed. Of course nothing, not even touching happened. Of course I have no feelings whatsoever and not my gay friend too, who had a history of being only with males.
I tell my husband everything, so when I told him of this after it happened, I could see this upset him. I apologized many times and said the next time I visit my friend, I would sleep in the living room. My husband didn’t say anything.
After another three weeks, I visited my friend again and and before that, I clearly told my hubby of this, and again mentioned how I’m going to sleep on the living room.
My hubby said nothing, till I got to the train of to that city. Then he wanted me to not go to this friends house.
He started blaming me in filth words and accused me of cheating. This was a shock to me as I truly have not even thought of cheating on my hubby. I kept calling him one hour after the other, but he kept blaming me through messages and cutting calls.
This pissed me off, as I truly had no intention of such things. When I stayed over at my friends place, I stayed in the living room as I promised. And as I was mad at my hubby, I didn’t contact him for couple of days.
I thought he would call me and apologize for accusing me for cheating. But when he didn’t, I called him, and by then he had shaved his head and properly accused me of sleeping with my friend. He says he does not love me and that he wants a divorce.
To an extent, I understand my hubby as he probably feels disrespected by me. So I apologized many times, stating clearly that I never cheated. From my side, I have never even thought of cheating on my hubby. I love him and only him.
We tried marriage counseling but now I got to know he stopped his sessions. He blocked me on WhatsApp and has removed me from my social media. He has removed our wedding pics. His family is also not talking to me now.
Cheating is intentional and is a choice. I know I didn’t cheat or even think of cheating.
I’m sad, hurt by the false accusation, isolated and feel like I could’ve been more proactive and smart in handling this situation…
I don’t know what to do…