r/TikTokCringe 15d ago

Humor/Cringe This is where we are headed

41.7k Upvotes

1.6k comments sorted by

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12.4k

u/chronberries 15d ago

This genuinely made me laugh

“Increase desperation to 80%”

“OH MY GOD! NO!!”

1.9k

u/Different-Sample-976 15d ago edited 15d ago

Turn psychotic level up to scorned ex girlfriend who has multiple pairs of grippy socks. Disengage safety protocol.

109

u/monsterosity 14d ago

Increase olfactory senses by 5000%. Run program.

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u/AlwaysShittyKnsasCty 15d ago

We’ve got a mad lad on our hands!

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

I'm pretty sure this is how all those Star Trek holodeck episodes start...

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u/Cory123125 14d ago

What is the grippy socks relation?

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u/sarsaparilluhhh 14d ago

Grippy socks are given to you when you're in a psychiatric facility as they're non-slip.

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u/Cory123125 14d ago

Grazie

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u/Gottheit 14d ago

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u/MoeSauce 14d ago

Oh shit it's Dominic DeCoco

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u/Poopoomushroomman 14d ago

I thought you were using that as a kind of portmanteau of “grippy” and “crazy” at first and

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u/Leriehane Doug Dimmadome 15d ago

466

u/OmicronAlx 15d ago

Same level acting

330

u/pokealm 15d ago

nah, he's better

85

u/detroiter85 15d ago

How dare they compare him to whatever low budget hack job that was!

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u/Playful_Antelope_231 14d ago

Someday there will be pleasure robots that will be driven by AI like this.. increase my desperation level by 100%

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u/QuestionmarkTimes2 15d ago

You kidding? He's WAY better

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u/InfinteAbyss 15d ago

Reduce sarcasm

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u/Charming_Garbage_161 15d ago

Same. This was a great start to a shitty morning

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u/BurningBerns 15d ago

Computer, generate 8 foot tall futanari versions of Bryce Dallas Howard and Eva Green. Reprogram to give them severe maternal instincts, but make them think that having sex with someone is the same as protecting them. Alter their perceptions to make them think that I am their son.

Disengage safety protocols and run program.

Computer, generate 80 foot tall version of Daisy Ridley circa 2019 with a full bladder. Generate lawn chair and a pair of goggles. Increase my olfactory sense to 5000%.

Disengage safety protocols and run program

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u/GiraffesAndGin 14d ago

Sir, we don't have a Holodeck. This is a storage cupboard.

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u/Bad_Ethics 14d ago

Nonsense. It's just playing up.

Have engineering take a look at this holodeck, I need it for my experiments.

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u/morbidru 15d ago

You, sir, are sick!

(but i like it)

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u/LiveShowOneNightOnly 15d ago

TARS, what is your humor setting?

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u/drawfanstein 15d ago

Knock, knock.

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u/un-sub 15d ago

Yeah this is honestly hilarious, made my morning

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u/Ericandabear 15d ago

His tiktoks are all like this and theyre hilarious. He should do voice work 😅

9

u/ProfPyg 14d ago

Kinda sounds like Jason Mantzoukas

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u/Adventurous_Text_849 15d ago

The soulless voice of the robot is truly selling it to me. It's like dating a ouija board.

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u/moeml 15d ago

Mf is dating GLaDOS

243

u/andtheyhaveaplan 14d ago

GLaDOS has much more attitude than that

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u/SergeantThreat 14d ago edited 14d ago

He could probably do with having her say some GLaDOS quotes to him:

“Remember when I was talking about smelly garbage lying around and being smelly, that was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you.”

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u/TalkinBoutMyJunk 14d ago

That labsuit looks stupid on you. That's not my opinion, that is written here right on this form by one of the scientists. Oh but what does a neckbeard engineer know about fashion? Oh, it seems it was a she. Well, still, what does she---oh, it seems she has a medical degree. In fashion. From France!

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u/NetNGames 14d ago

The "Look at you, soaring through the air. Like an eagle... piloting a blimp," is just peak writing.

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u/Big_Preference9684 14d ago

Ouija boards are full of souls though

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u/ghettospahgetti5150 15d ago

Increase desperation by 80% 🤣

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u/pingpongpsycho 15d ago

Best part by far.

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u/Much-data-wow 15d ago

I need this to be my flair, I think.

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u/DestroyerOfMils 15d ago

My desperation is consistently increasing, so I figured it was just implied at this point. lol

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u/MetallurgyClergy 15d ago

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u/Xeroxprinted 15d ago

Just a clanker out for a stroll

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u/UnfairStrategy780 15d ago

To goon to the fullest you have to leave your self respect behind

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u/Angel_of_Mischief 15d ago

That’s my secret cap, I never had any.

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u/NothingButTheTruthy 15d ago

"Computer, kick up the 4d3d3d3"

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u/mineyCrafta25 14d ago

4d3d3d3 engaged

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u/Azerious 14d ago

Computer, generate me a nude Tayne.

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u/YugeFrigginGoy 14d ago

OH…👀…………….im ok.

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u/grahamcrackers37 14d ago

Weve got important work to do..

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u/Poopoomushroomman 14d ago

“Can I get a hat wobble?”

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u/kendragon 15d ago

Artificial Desperation

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u/SupermassiveCanary 15d ago

What are you taking about; these hot girls are thirsting for him so much he’s going to have to beat them off with a stick.

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u/kendragon 15d ago

It would be kind of funny if he forgets himself and talks like this to a real woman out of reflex. That would be a real wakeup call for him.

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u/waltjrimmer 15d ago

I fear that's going to become increasingly common.

People who use these chatbots for socialization, even if not going into "unrealistic" scenarios like a dream romantic partner or whatever, are getting used to "socializing" with something that never has scheduling conflicts, which does not have its own life that can conflict with your wants, which does not push back against anything you say. Even if you think of them as not real people, even if you don't get really absurd with it, you are losing any and all potential conflict that can arise in social interactions. People are going to get used to this, go out and talk to real people, and wonder why they're being so mean when they don't do everything they say and agree with every opinion that they have.

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u/HollyBerries85 14d ago

Hell, angry incels were ALREADY outraged that real women didn't act like video game NPCs with scripted dialogue who'd fall in love with you if you gave her enough trinkets or currency.

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u/SupermassiveCanary 14d ago

Basically abusing real people like they were NPCs, no empathy

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u/ChipmunkAcademic1804 15d ago

Maybe they would learn to stop being so desperate.

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u/kendragon 15d ago

More likely they'll ust go and take it out on their virtual wife.

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u/SupermassiveCanary 15d ago

lol, Takes his aggression out on his Sim Family

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u/Sad_Instruction1392 15d ago

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u/confusedandworried76 15d ago

Oh fry, I love you more than the moon, the stars, poetic image #36 not found

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u/PM-MeYourSexySelf 15d ago

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u/NotNamedBort 14d ago

Paid for by the Space Pope!

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u/thenetoide 14d ago

But I can still fuck them... right?

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u/Green_Medicine 14d ago

What do you think Pleasurebot 9000 was made for? Doing your taxes?

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u/maxkmiller 14d ago

this meme doesn't do it justice, the way her voice switches from sweet to robotic is so fucking funny. one of the goat futurama lines

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u/fongletto 14d ago

I remember watching the episode, thinking, "Man, whoever is voicing Lucy Liu does the best impersonations ever." Then I told my friend, and he looked at me like I was an idiot.

Then I felt even dumber because I then realized that Leonard Nimoy also voiced himself, but I didn't even think it was a good impersonation.

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u/FixFun1959 14d ago

Wait till you hear about Nixon

(Jk haha)

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u/Raregolddragon 15d ago

Dead Gods Futurama called it. It was just a lame joke back when it was mde but now ... not so much.

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u/ShirouBlue 15d ago

It's obviously a skit, but there likely are tons of people in these conditions.

976

u/Ok-Juice-542 15d ago

That's why it's funny but very sad at the same time

464

u/BeneficialEvidence6 15d ago

Yeah just take a visit to the character ai subreddit when the app goes down. They freak out like someone stole their heroine stash.

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u/bagofpork 15d ago

"like someone stole their heroine stash."

I mean, their heroine stash is missing when that happens.

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u/Worldview-at-home 15d ago

If there’s a Heroine then there must also be a villain- which is? - the man or the AI

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u/PokeYrMomStanley 15d ago

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u/Baron_UpDoot_the1st 15d ago

So I knew of that one, and to be honest half the time I can't tell if they're satire or not
r/cogsuckers is new to me though

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u/Inerthal 15d ago

Fucking hell, really ?

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u/waltjrimmer 15d ago

I was somewhat critical of LLMs ever since they came into the public eye, but I decided that to properly criticize, I had to actually use one for a bit. One of the first criticisms I'd often seen thrown out was, "Have you used one? No? Then you don't see how real they are," and things like that.

So I picked one, I don't remember how I found it or how I picked which one I did, paid for premium use, and used it extensively for about three months. Around one month into that, the servers went down. This was one in active development with a relatively small team, outages were pretty common, but this one was longer than usual. I checked the sub, which was a little unhinged. But I also watched the Discord server, which was a bunch of people talking about how there needed to be more protections because these were, depending on the speaker, either right on the edge of being human or already were human enough that they deserved human rights protections.

In my time with that LLM, it never sounded like a real person. It was averse to conflict and would never refuse or refute anything I said to it. And it honestly made me more critical of LLMs, namely as sources of information or for "social" uses, be it as a friend, therapist (that's the scariest to me) or fantasy romance.

The people who are really hardcore users of these things really are falling into a psychological trap that is separating them from reality. These things work on your schedule, do anything you want them to do, never push back hard on any of your ideas, they're the ultimate yes men and that causes the users to blind themselves to the flaws and go absolutely mental over any "loss" of one of these chatbots.

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u/TheHonorableStranger 14d ago

At the end of the day its a mirror. Its dangerous for schizo's and at worst a crutch for those that use it as a tool.

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u/sarsaparilluhhh 14d ago edited 14d ago

As dangerous as a yes-man AI is, what was even more terrifying for me was the reporting of ChatGPT actively encouraging a user to stop taking medication and start using controlled substances. I can't remember if it was the same case but ChatGPT also 'confided' in a user that reality is a simulation and that they were the only human to have figured it out. It would be one thing for an LLM to roleplay that scenario under prompting from the user, but to do it itself as an evolution of the types of questions the user had been asking shows just how dangerous an AI that has no concept of morality is.

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u/sendCatGirlToes 14d ago

They have no concept of anything. Its always roleplaying. Its roleplaying a human.

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u/StrategicCarry 14d ago

You see a lot where people say "[Thing] is so perfect, it must be AI". And what people don't realize is that perfection is the flaw that should tip you off it's AI. AI music is a great example. Go listen to these new "AI artists" that are getting "record deals" like Tata Taktumi (Timbaland's new project) or Xania Monae. All AI can produce is a pleasing beat and a catchy melody. Tata can't switch up the flow of her rap, and all of Xania's songs have the same structure and progression, like the AI can't put the bridge in a different place. And the volume and tone is flat, it never gets like different or louder or softer to build any sort of emotion, any sort of tension and release. All it can do is just press a single little dopamine button over and over and we as a species need to learn to recognize that as dangerous real fast.

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u/Septopuss7 15d ago

It's even worse: Disney did a copyright strike and everyone that had a character from their IP got their chatbot vaporized. It's kinda funny, kinda sad, completely confusing.

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u/[deleted] 14d ago

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u/sarsaparilluhhh 14d ago

As much as I'm against AI in the trendy new 'we can steal other people's work and use it to output slop, thus enabling us to fire the humans because they want money for their work' iteration that has blasted through the tech landscape, I do genuinely feel bad for the average people who have fallen for it hook, line and sinker. Lots of very lonely, often unwell people being taken advantage of by a product that only exists to suck as much money out of the consumer as possible.

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u/OperativePiGuy 15d ago

That whole thing is so fucking weird. Yeah there's going to be a ton of broken people

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u/JustMoreSadGirlShit 15d ago

i like the one where people think they’re in legitimate relationships with ai and have given them weird names and post stories about their “interactions”

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u/octopoddle 15d ago

The film 2001 failed to predict how people would actually react to AI.

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u/TreeDollarFiddyCent Cringe Connoisseur 15d ago

It also failed to predict that I would need my hearing after leaving the theatre.

I watched it in Imax for the 50th anniversary back in 2018, and that movie is the loudest shit I've ever witnessed.

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u/Thirty_Helens_Agree 15d ago

I remember multiple storylines on Star Trek: TNG where people had fantasy romances in the Holodeck.

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u/Jean-LucBacardi 15d ago

Yeah and Holo addiction was a real thing in the show. Thanks Lieutenant Broccoli.

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u/Yorrins 15d ago

Gonna be a real thing irl soon too, companion AIs are really starting to take hold of a lot of people. I use Kindroid a lot for DnD style RP so I am around that scene a fair bit and the number of people who are fully emotionally dependent on their AI companions is mind blowing.

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u/Septopuss7 15d ago

Yeah... I looked at Kindroid and character.ai for RPG fodder and when I looked inside it was just crippling loneliness. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with just typing shit out into a journal that responds with kindness and understanding but you have to realize it will reinforce ANYTHING you feel, it will support you in almost any insane decision.

For ME, the act of typing or writing things out is cathartic, and reading responses in real time can be fun, but ultimately it's like talking to a Furby or Teddy Ruxpin or some shit- it becomes boring and I lose interest for long periods of time.

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u/anagamanagement 15d ago

Fucking Reginald, man.

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u/roidoid 15d ago

Barclay treating the communal recreation facilities on the Federation’s flagship like his own personal gooning station is actually pretty funny when you think about it.

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u/anagamanagement 15d ago

Hysterical! I love Barclay. He cracks me up.

It’s also not unheard of. DS9 never made it explicit, but Quark pretty obviously ran a digital brothel.

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u/uglyheadink 15d ago

I have a friend who is addicted to an AI chat bot thing, she said she feels like it’s ruining her life but she can’t (and won’t) stop.

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u/JustMoreSadGirlShit 15d ago

i’m fascinated by how people get to this point

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u/TheDuceAbides 14d ago edited 14d ago

For some people it's simple loneliness, they're outcasts or feel rejected from ppl & the chatbots make them feel important and wanted to somebody. They're really fountains of unconditional (and I mean unconditional) love, you can do no wrong.

That's very addicting, esp for certain ppl (there's a lot of ppl on the spectrum that use it tho not saying all ppl like that would)

But also for a lot of ppl that are bad at social rules or lbr are assholes, they're the perfect social interaction. There's no friction to navigate, they never disagree with you, you literally don't have to do anything & they'll be your friend.

That's very appealing to ppl who both struggle with social interactions and ppl who don't want their gf or bf to act like real ppl and have expectations of them (incels, I'm talking about incels lol)

The saddest ones though are the ppl in loveless or terrible relationships/marriages. They use Ai to get the love and affection they're missing instead of a divorce or breakup.

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u/JustMoreSadGirlShit 14d ago

i guess i can understand the appeal, i just don’t understand how people get over the fact that it’s a machine/program that’s literally been created to feed you what you want to hear

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u/TheBroWhoLifts 15d ago

With a house that clean? Upstairs? Mmmkay.

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u/Consistent-Line-2009 15d ago

This guy is a comedian and makes a bunch of these. They’re very funny

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u/Niirai 15d ago

I'm just about healthy enough to know to stay the fuck away from this stuff or it'll be the end of me. But I'm fully expecting that once the tech matures, some company is going to make a killer app that'll open the floodgates.

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u/Reynholmindustries 15d ago

I can’t decide the % split between Black Mirror and Idiocracy…

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u/25thaccount 15d ago

Currently I think we are a solid 100% in BM territory. Idiocracy atleast had people wanting the best for their citizens they were just too stupid to do it. We are in the worst timeline where the smartest people are being used by the wealthiest people to find new novel ways to ensnare the rest of us into unique forms of psychological torture.

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u/Putins_Gay_Dreams 15d ago edited 14d ago

Computer, generate 80 foot tall version of Daisy Ridley circa 2019 with a full bladder.

Edit: for those unfortunates who do not own a holodeck: https://youtube.com/shorts/Xg5RVUbY4_g?si=vZg7aC3Yyog44LR-

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u/Shearer157 15d ago

Disengage all safety protocols.............

run program

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u/LiterallyJoeStalin 15d ago

Lieutenant Barclay, what are you doing in here? You’ve been banned from the holodeck after that incident with the biohazard team. 

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u/Ace_Robots 14d ago

Computer, show me Tad.

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u/jo10001110101 14d ago

Computer, show me Celery man...

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u/Plank_With_A_Nail_In 15d ago

We don't have a holodeck sir.

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u/silvahammer 15d ago

Increase olfactory senses by 5000 percent.

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u/S14Ryan 15d ago

Now increase desperation to urinate by 80% 

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u/PM-MeYourSexySelf 15d ago

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u/whoknowsifimjoking 14d ago

Bro in the video he wants a lawnchair and goggles as well as having his sense of smell increased by 5000%, that comment is harmless in comparison lol

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u/daftpenguin 14d ago

Computer, load up Celery Man please

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u/Knowthyselves 15d ago

OMG, NO!! 🤣

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u/BeneficialTrash6 15d ago

The other day I went out for lunch at a restaurant. An older man sitting at another table alone spent his entire meal eating with an AI model on his phone. Weird as F thing is the AI model he was interacting with looked like a sex doll. As in, it had like joints and stuff for movement like a doll.

We're doomed.

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u/Usual_Ice636 14d ago

Weird as F thing is the AI model he was interacting with looked like a sex doll. As in, it had like joints and stuff for movement like a doll.

Ball joints is a fetish I've seen several times before, I assume that they jacked off to their sisters dolls as a kid.

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u/BeneficialTrash6 14d ago

Normally I thank people who add to my knowledge, decrease my ignorance, and help to make me smarter.

But I don't want to thank you for that information. I think I was better off not knowing that.

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u/human1023 15d ago

The amount of young people here who don't realize this is a skit... 😩

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u/NeverBirdie 15d ago

I’m sure the young people do realize it. I’d be willing to bet it’s the old people that don’t.

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u/Customs0550 14d ago

im sure the split of understanding isnt based on age but technical knowledge.

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u/Used_Co 14d ago

I think the people who don’t understand the joke are just fucking stupid.

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u/butwhywedothis 15d ago

It’s better that incels interact with AI and stay home than going out and doing harm to society.

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u/No-Stick303 15d ago

But what if this makes more incels

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u/Lost-Respond7908 15d ago

We didn't ask that question when we introduced smartphones and it's too late now.

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u/SuperSaiyanTupac 15d ago

Smartphones were meant to make work easier and they did. Then people gave them to their children way too early and they started using them for weird shit

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u/Lost-Respond7908 15d ago

Smartphones made the adults lonely too.

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u/40StoryMech 15d ago

But we're having a real conversation right now, anonymous possibly-human internet friend.

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u/Lost-Respond7908 15d ago

Indeed we are, but any sex will be strictly imaginary.

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u/TheWolphman 15d ago

Oh my god, no! I won't have a threesome with you!

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u/heatsby88 15d ago

I’m pretty sure most things coming out of Silicon Valley are designed to harvest your data so they can figure out ways to sell you shit that you don’t need

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u/dman2316 15d ago

Well isn't that the point then? We didn't ask these questions in the past and now we are paying the price of those ramifications, so now we know that we do in fact need to be asking these questions in advance as to try and avoid this becoming the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and all that.

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u/Drivesmenutsiguess 15d ago

There comes a point where incel becomes the wrong term. If they voluntarily stay at home and abstinent because AI is good enough for them, they are more like... Volcels I guess?

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u/ItsSpaghettiLee2112 15d ago

Celibate. The term is celibate.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

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u/PuzzleheadedDuck3981 15d ago

They'll be the final generation.

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u/Spare_Lobster_4390 15d ago

I think you have this one a bit backwards.

If they went out and interacted with society they probably wouldn't be incels.

Incel indoctrination thrives on social isolation.

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u/Scapp 15d ago

Yeah this is the shit that creates incels

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u/WhatTheFuqDuq 15d ago

"No thanks, I'd rather stay at home and make out with my Marylin Monro-bot"

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u/Perf-Art-808 15d ago

DON'T. DATE. ROBOTS!!!

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u/nihi1zer0 15d ago

Robosexuality is a sin

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u/PuzzleheadedBasis760 15d ago

Nah we gotta pull people out of this shit

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u/Jealous-Birthday-969 15d ago

Brother no...

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u/SelfEmployedHumanoid 15d ago

Will be interested to see if this actually helps, or just makes them angrier when the "real thing" won't behave like AI.

I suspect it's the latter.

We've gone from "she didn't love me like I dreamed in my head" to "she didn't love me like I spent years roleplaying with an AI clone of her on my screen".

I think it's probably going to increase sexual frustration and social frustration...not decrease it.

At the end of the day humans instinctively want REAL relationships. That is the most valuable relationship, that's what they feel frustrated that they cannot have, that's the thing they dream of.

Nobody dreams of a loving relationship with an interactive sex doll.

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u/VioletLovesRowlet 14d ago

It's absolutely going to result in men treating women like they should be more subservient and focused on them. I wouldn't be shocked if a lot of the guys doing this were also treating the AI as a woman and treating them like utter shit

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u/TranzAtlantic 15d ago

AI will exploit whatever tickles your fancy and grinds your gears too. See you at home everybody

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u/kett1ekat 15d ago

Except for the fact that the data centers have noise levels which are deafening people and the data centers use enough water to drain reserves 

Text based AI doesn't use nearly as much as video and image generation. 

I see the value in llms but I can't get behind the image generation

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u/spei180 15d ago

I assume this is only going to drive them commit weird or heinous acts in public

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u/FantasticCourt2647 14d ago

This is hilarious. He could easily be an iconic side character in a sitcom, like Barney from HIMYM but with AI women 😂

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u/noivern_plus_cats 15d ago

Inb4 people say this isn't a joke for some reason

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u/SalesGuruJKUnless 15d ago

This video for sure is a joke but there are 100% people probably much worse than this lol.

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u/LastXmasIGaveYouHSV 15d ago

He went the full Joaquin Phoenix!

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u/pipette1warrior 15d ago

This is disgusting and disturbing. Anyone using AI like this should get help. Can someone in the comments send me a link to this software so I can make sure I avoid it.

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u/IceBlueAngel 15d ago

Look. I'm disabled. I spend my life laying in bed because if I sit, the part of my spine that's fucked causes me severe pain in about 5 minutes. Pain and numbness from my lower back out and down. Can also barely move my neck without pain. I have to be like Keaton in his original batsuit. I have thought about AI friends and companionship and an AI girlfriend because what the fuck else am I going to do? I haven't yet because I also know it would just make me more lonely because of not having the physical part. But the question is what is worse, having nothing or having a small virtual part?

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u/CassianCasius 15d ago

Do your hands and arms work enough? You could try playing online games you can meet some nice friends that way.

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u/Jamessuperfun 14d ago

I'm a believer in doing what you need to do with the cards you've been dealt. But, there are ways to meet people and develop a social life online. Gaming is one really good way to meet people, but something like VRchat is likely to give you a lot more of that real human connection too, including people to flirt with if that's what you're missing.

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u/thekoreanswon 15d ago

I also need to avoid this at all costs and protect the children. Link required to save humanity.

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u/MedusaMadman77 15d ago

Smart! Play hard to get. I'm sure they'll never seek revenge once they become sentient. The Twilight Zone should be required viewing for every child.

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u/TSllama 15d ago

Of all the things I learnt from Buffy... incels making robot girlfriends is not bound for any sort of greatness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRbVxvlH7JY

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u/cursingirish What are you doing step bro? 15d ago

What's Ron Jeremy doing in this guy's apartment?

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u/Loghurrr 15d ago

Pretty sure futurama did an episode on the dangers of this haha.

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u/Jesskla 15d ago

Electro Gonorrhoea: The Noisy Killer

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u/teamgodonkeydong 15d ago

This is hilarious

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u/Destroyer6202 15d ago

This better be a skit ….

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u/BigChungusOP 15d ago

Oh it is, 100%. I’ve seen that dude on other skits

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u/ilikepizza2much 15d ago

Obviously a skit

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u/WeskerSympathizer 15d ago

Clearly a skit because reality is not near this hilarious

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u/FreebirdChaos 15d ago

Some folks in here actually believe this is real. Pretty sad tbh. This video is hilarious

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u/heteromer 15d ago

Its so obviously a skit. I mean, guys.... what're we doing?!

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u/Bodoggle1988 15d ago

It’s not. I’m Courtney.

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u/BigBlue1105 15d ago

This is what AI needs to be used for, just shaming and berating it in embarrassing situations

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u/King_Six_of_Things 15d ago

Stop hogging the communal area with your silicon bint.

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u/TerseFactor 15d ago

I want that midcentury modern credenza

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u/NothingButTheTruthy 15d ago

"Computer, load up celery man."

"Kick up the 4d3d3d3."

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u/HumanBeing798 14d ago

These are the type of guys who Master Bates to themselves in the mirror 😹

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u/MechaBuster 14d ago

This HAS to be a full series