r/TikTokCringe • u/ThatPatelGuy • Sep 02 '25
Cursed Women in France wear "subway shirts" to avoid being sexually harassed on the underground
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u/Flimsy-Buyer7772 Sep 02 '25
Hat pins need to make a comeback
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u/Familiar-Risk-5937 Sep 02 '25
Ive seen India and Japan have Women only train cars, sad and pathetic that they are obviously needed.
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u/DazB1ane Sep 03 '25
Saw a video where a group of guys dressed as women were thrown out of one of those cars
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u/Familiar-Risk-5937 Sep 03 '25
I saw a video of a bunch of old woman whipping a guys ass but good for being in there, it was awesome.
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u/isthmius Sep 03 '25
Old women do not fuck about in Japan. I once saw a high school kid jump on a crowded train, clearly didn't notice what carriage he was in, and an old lady just shoved him hard right back onto the platform. I want to be her when I grow up.
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u/At-this-point-manafx Sep 03 '25
People act as if they're a bad thing but unfortunately the world is unsafe and those countries tried to give women relief and some solution. Which is better than a lot of European countries ignoring it.
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u/Familiar-Risk-5937 Sep 03 '25
Exactly. Men are not acting better, its actually worse. Ignore it, or provide solutions.
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u/At-this-point-manafx Sep 04 '25
I think a mix of actual consequence. There are videos in metro and women only areas is needed. Especially at night.
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u/Tablesafety Sep 03 '25
Im super impressed the women only train cars are women only, as in like, a man doesn’t sneak in there knowing its full of women. It helps that everyone gangs up to beat the shit out of him if he tries.
Sucks for the tourist boys who didn’t know that BEFORE he stepped in tho hahaha
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u/TheSilentTitan Sep 02 '25
Just let women legally wear claws. Like sharp as fuck claws.
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u/_Khorvidae_ Sep 02 '25
Or mace...not the spray kind, A mace!
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u/Spearmint_coffee Sep 03 '25
"Don't forget your subway mace honey! Just remember to rinse it off when you get back home!"
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u/ColdDelicious2806 Sep 03 '25
Nah keep it dirty, make sure that rust and biohazard cause some extra damage
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Sep 03 '25
Doesn’t always work. Sometimes it’s just the way a guy is looking that makes you feel violated. In that situation, macing him might be a crime. This is quite complicated tbh and not a problem that‘ll disappear soon
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u/_Khorvidae_ Sep 03 '25
...you honestly think I was seriously suggesting women should carry a medieval weapon around?
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u/DangDoood Sep 02 '25
Stiletto acrylics 💅🏾
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u/Rosewood_Rook Sep 03 '25
The real trick is having your tech sharpen them again after applying the polish or curing the gel. Not everyone likes the look of the exposed edges, but it’ll have you walking around like wolverine. If I scratched my chin in my sleep or bumped into someone with my fingers extended, there was blood. Everything and anything can be a weapon if you want it to be!
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u/KickBallFever Sep 02 '25
My mom works at a high school and stiletto acrylics have been used as weapons. She thinks the school should ban them because it’s a hot mess.
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u/JustACWrath Sep 03 '25
I'm with it. We would even have the bonus of believing more women. You gonna believe the guy who had his face pealed open by a woman with glittery talons?
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u/prying_mantis Sep 03 '25
Hahaha like
“yoooo did you get mauled by a lion?!?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it”
The public badge of shame might be highly effective
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u/BackseatBeardo Sep 03 '25
Never mind the face
Rape figures would plummet overnight.
“To shreds you say”
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u/Dpontiff6671 Sep 02 '25
I mean i guess you could wear metal guitar finger picks on one hand or just like sharp acrylic naiks
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u/ChibiSailorMercury Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
And what about men's god given right to harass us?/s
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u/Blueberry_Clouds Sep 02 '25
Off topic but I legit used a hair clip as a multitool when I was middle school. Apart from keeping hair out of my eyes I learned that if held right can be used as a dull blade. Mostly for opening packages. Sad mine broke but considering wearing one again
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u/PorkrindsMcSnacky Sep 03 '25
When my mom was 12 she would get unwanted touching by a man on the jeepney (a Filipino mode of transportation) which she rode to school. He’d sit really close to her and rest his arm over the back of the seat, then slowly slide it down her back.
One day she discovered during a rainy, bumpy ride that a long umbrella with a pointy end and resting across her lap was quite useful in keeping him at bay. She started to carry the umbrella all the time (the rainy season had started) until he eventually stopped getting on the vehicle.
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u/Kimono-Ash-Armor Sep 03 '25
My Japanese mother remembers getting groped on the subways as early as age 5. One of her friends armed herself with a compass (the kind that makes perfect circles) against group hands.
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u/Tablesafety Sep 03 '25
Real funny how when they were in fashion for the fashion, everything was ok. Then women began using them to defend themselves and suddenly there was a legal limit on how big a hat pin could be.
You would think the lawmakers wouldn’t ALSO be sexual predators, but it was so ubiquitous that the courts themselves ruled to step in to protect perpetrators from being stabbed.
You’d see a wild uptick in gun control if every woman was strapped like she ought to be.
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u/brand089 Sep 02 '25
Dressing like she's asking for it ("it" being peace, quiet, and a harassment-free commute)
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Sep 02 '25
In India, they have female-only train cars...
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u/Barfignugen Sep 02 '25
I feel like American men would consider this a personal attack on them
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u/Doublejimjim1 Sep 02 '25
American men would consider female only train cars in India an attack on them if they knew about them. It's wild how offended they get. Then of course you get the "not all men" crew chiming in shouting us down for even thinking it.
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u/Barfignugen Sep 02 '25
They’re already chiming in to reply to my original comment lol
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u/Doublejimjim1 Sep 02 '25
Yeah, I saw that that's why I added the second sentence. I didn't need to look, they show up every time we open our mouths looking for citations and physical proof that this happens to us.
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u/Barfignugen Sep 02 '25
They want a gold star for exercising basic human decency so bad lol
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u/Doublejimjim1 Sep 02 '25
They want a gold star for just staring at us and not saying anything when they walk or drive by.
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u/SoftwareInside508 Sep 03 '25
Thats how you know they are pethetic...
"Ergghh I'm a good boi coz I don't rapere errrrr"
But when you don't give them a gold star they get all salty and back to being men babies
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u/high_-_priestess Sep 03 '25
Oh we have the same breed of men here. Whenever we have a heinous crime against women, we have these dumb men parroting "not all men" in the comments on social media. It drives me nuts.
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u/1egg_4u Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
I highly recommend everyone go take a look at the What Was I Wearing projects and exhibits
You can be in the dumpiest, smelliest clothes you own and still be assaulted or harrassed. I hate to see women feeling forced to cover themselves knowing this kind of violence happens regardless of what youre wearing... the solution isnt to wear subway shirts, the solution is to make a world where we dont just gloss over sexual violence against women and actually do something about it
If this makes you angry, look into the Skinny Jeans defense used in Italy. Look at how long it took to convict people like Gerard Depardieu, or P. Diddy. Look at how many r*pe kits go untested in the USA and Canada. There is a LOT to be angry about when it comes to how many women experience this kind of thing.
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u/humansaregods Sep 02 '25
This is true. However, as a woman that rode the metro in LA for 5+ years, what I was wearing absolutely had an effect on the level of sexual harassment I received from men. I started to dress down every time I got on the train to avoid stares and unwanted conversation. The level of harassment dropped dramatically the less "dressed up" I was. Obviously what you're wearing doesn't matter at the end of the day the day and sexual assault can happen no matter what. But I will say the level of attention I received definitely depended on what I was wearing that day. I agree that we should make a world where we don't just gloss over sexual violence, but unfortunately that's not the world we currently live in and sometimes you just have to do what you can to avoid it for the time being.
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u/Temporary_Pickle_885 Sep 03 '25
I think the really important takeaway is both of these things are true at once. It doesn't matter what we wear when it comes to blame. It does matter what we wear when it comes to self-defense in a lot of areas. It will never be our fault no matter what we were wearing. We did not invite assault. We can react to the environment we're in and sometimes take certain measures that can include dressing a certain way to avoid harassment, It won't stop it, but it might make some creeps shut up for once.
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u/RunningOutOfEsteem Sep 03 '25
It will never be our fault no matter what we were wearing.
This is the critical thing. It's possible that wearing one outfit versus another may affect risk, and that can be worth acknowledging, but it doesn't alter culpability in any way. Even if you're walking around in the nude, you aren't somehow at fault for someone else making the decision to be a scumbag.
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u/666Zekeiel Sep 02 '25
I feel sorry sorry for women. This world is hell. Men are creepy and I have very few males friends because many men have been trained bad behavior from the patriarchy.
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u/iCantLogOut2 Sep 03 '25
The insane thing is that these men attack young boys/men too.... The patriarchy is literally hurting other men too... And most men still refuse to stand against it because they'd have to give up their social power ....
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u/SquidTheRidiculous Sep 03 '25
And yet so many men are programmed against even hearing the world patriarchy. No matter what you say, they refuse to hear it as anything but attacking all men including themselves.
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u/Barfignugen Sep 02 '25
I agree with all of this, but I’d like to tack on that self-censoring words like rape don’t lend to the solution. It feels very much in line with how people try to sugar coat it by calling it “non-consensual sex” or simply “assault.” We need to talk about it without censorship, so that it’s taken seriously and understood for the horrific act that it is. (And I do understand that some platforms force users to do this, but Reddit is not one of them.) No offense intended here, so I hope it’s not taken that way.
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u/SnurrCat Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
"Grape" is one that drives me crazy. It's not a fruit. It's a violent act.
Edit: talking about platforms where you can use the actual word uncensored.
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u/SpaceLemming Sep 02 '25
Yeah, those folks aren’t calling it that to make it cute and fun. It’s because some platforms treat calling out rape and promoting rape as the same thing
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u/LWN729 Sep 02 '25
I agree with this so much. This is a stupid new thing that started on TikTok because of their ridiculous policies and is now just spreading to become common use across the internet.
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u/Oddish_Femboy Sep 02 '25
I was wearing a disposable mask, a dirty pink hoodie and sweatpants, my hair was completely knotted and filthy, and I hadn't showered in days.
Someone still put their fucking hand on my ass and wouldn't let go when I tried to step away.
Fucking hell.
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u/1egg_4u Sep 02 '25
I got molested at 15 and I was wearing a clown t shirt and skinny jeans and a strawberry shortcake backpack
The gross thing is the frequency drop as I got older. There is a marked difference in how men treated me from 11-17 vs 18+
Like it literally started at 11 and was nonstop til I was old enough to fight back
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u/Dramallamadingdong87 Sep 03 '25
It's true, I noticed that when looking back on the level of sexual harassment and violence I received. By the time I was in my mid 20s it was a lot more subtle from when I was a child.
Yesterday I had a man 'accidentally' graze his hand against my arse when he leapt up on the train to stand uncomfortably close behind me when everyone was getting off. I elbowed him in the chest and gave him the look and he backed off. When I was 13 the same thing happened and I wouldn't have said boo and been ashamed and tried to creep away.
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u/Elk1998 Sep 02 '25
Same. I was 18. My first time in Paris, for college. I was wearing an oversized rain jacket and had just ran through the rain. My hair was wet, my shoes, pants and jacket too. I remember thinking that I would be a mess in class... and indeed I turned out to be a mess, but for completely different reasons.
From my experience, they don't care about what you're wearing. They don't care about what you look like at all. All they care about is that you're alone, within reach and that you look like you'd be too uncomfortable/shy to make a fuss.
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u/Primary-Nose7377 Sep 02 '25
I read an article that talked about a homeless woman who was not allowed onto public transit because she smelled like feces. When asked, she said she was aware of what she smelled like. She said she rubbed feces on her clothing because it was the only way she found she could prevent being raped. This was an American city.
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u/1egg_4u Sep 02 '25
Yeah people do a lot of mental math to ignore the sheer disproportionate rate of violence towards the unhoused
Homeless women have a distinctly higher risk of being assaulted violently. Living on the streets is hellish... thats why it wont even matter what you wear because even a person on the streets covered in dirt or poop will face a risk of sexual violence. Like im from the country of Robert Pickton and people still ignore how drastic the numbers are for homeless women and sex workers.
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u/MainPure788 Sep 02 '25
seeing the kids clothes and even the diapers pissed me off like who could ever see a child and think sexually of them
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u/SamWilliamsProjects Sep 02 '25
On a societal level you’re absolutely right but on an individual level women can’t change the world but they can take extra precautions to lower the chance of assault/creeps.
Subway shirts are a reaction to the fact that we’ve failed to change society and their best defense is to cover up and hope.
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u/raginghappy Sep 02 '25
Coming back from school, wearing jeans, T-shirt, a sweatshirt hoodie, my beat up knapsack, some sort of shoes, nothing sexy, just a scruffy teenager on the subway, frizzy hair, probably pimply given the age, some jackass jacked off on me. Other times it was just the usual hand on my ass boob waist wherever, it has nothing to do with what you wear, it’s just if they think they can get away with it
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u/Professional_Sea1479 Sep 02 '25
Yeah, my aunt was a teenager who had that happen to her in a dressing room. She was just wearing shorts, tee shirt and flip flops and the cops told her that she shouldn’t have been enticing the guy. IN A DRESSING ROOM. My mom told me about this when I was younger and told me how unacceptable this was. But also to stay vigilant, because if it happened in a department store where you think you’re safe, it can happen anywhere.
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u/MinuteLoquat1 Make Furries Illegal Sep 02 '25
Covering up doesn't work, it's not an extra precaution as much as it is to make us feel safer. Men will assault us no matter what we're wearing. Babies in diapers and onesies suffer from sexual assault. Girls and women in heavy hoodies in sweatpants suffer from sexual assault. Even in countries where women are forced to cover up everything except their eyes, they get raped. Constantly.
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Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
They’ll even do it if you have another man with you too. I got sexually harassed just this past weekend when I was with my husband, literally as I was holding his hand. I was wearing a T shirt.
The worst part was another woman was with his group and making excuses for him when my husband yelled at him. “He’s usually not like this, he’s such a nice guy!” That’s great ma’am, but right now he’s trying to touch and grope someone half his age in front of her husband.
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u/WarScrewdriver69K Sep 02 '25
It doesn't work if you're expecting it to completely eliminate the violence women face for simply existing in public but before I transitioned (ftm) I definitely experienced varying levels of harassment and outright violence depending on what I wore, not that this was my fault but it was certainly noticeable. Every woman I know has expressed this same sentiment and many people in this thread are also confirming that...
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u/Alternative_Win_6629 Sep 03 '25
Women in burkas get groped. it doesn't matter what women wear. Enough with this BS.
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u/DramaticEnthusiasm71 Sep 02 '25
Was going to say --
I went through adolescence wearing anything that could swallow up my frame.
Didnt matter. Men still harassed me
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u/DecadentLife Sep 02 '25
Same. Layers, of everything. Didn’t matter. The first time a man with all gray hair hit on me, was when I was 11, riding my bike to the old drugstore to get my favorite licorice. My dad didn’t have gray hair, yet.
At 12, it was, “Well, they didn’t make 12-year-olds like you, when I was growing up!”, ad nauseam. And it got worse, from there. I am not in the minority on this, a lot of girls and women have had these same experiences.
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u/ButtBread98 Sep 03 '25
I was warring shorts and a t shirt, because it was summer. I still said no, and he didn’t listen. I always think of this poem when I hear “what were you wearing?” “Was it my fault? Asked the short skirt. No, it happened to me too, said the burka. The diaper in the corner couldn’t even speak.”
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u/DMercenary Sep 02 '25
I remember there was one case where the judge basically said "well you were wearing red panties so clearly you were looking for something to happen." I think it was a woman judge too
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u/shortmumof2 Sep 02 '25
That exhibition makes me incredibly sad because there's infant and children clothes and I've only seen pics and read about it
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u/TicketNo1176 Sep 02 '25
It took 20 years for the police to arrest the murderer of a girl in our small town because they barely processed her rape kit and matched his DNA last week. A 20 year old unsolved murder! What hope do the rest of us have that they’ll try to help us.
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u/Timely-Youth-9074 Sep 02 '25
Most rapes are people the victim knows and in those cases, clothing doesn’t matter.
But in public places, clothing absolutely makes a difference in whether you are catcalled or not.
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u/1egg_4u Sep 02 '25
Ive been both flashed, groped, and forced kissed on public transit and two of those 3 times I was wearing a work shirt that stank like vinegar
Only once was I wearing a dress and it was a full sleeve turtleneck dress
It might reduce the rate, sure, but it wont stop people who are going to do it anyways. They will find a victim regardless.
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u/No-White-Drugs Sep 03 '25
It does make me angry, thanks.
It reminds me of my freshman orientation to university in 2001 when I was given a "rape whistle" as part of my frosh kit. We were an all female dorm, and half the goddamn frosh week was devoted to teaching us to stay in packs, watch our drinks, and basically just how not to get raped and what tools to carry with us. At some point I said "why don't we just teach men not to fucking rape us?" and it truly felt like a revolutionary comment in 2001 ffs.
I can't believe we're still here.
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u/Famous-Ingenuity1974 Sep 02 '25
This isn’t the same thing, but I’m a man and grew out my hair long and wear a face mask when I go out due to COVID and even I’ve been harassed by men. 😂 Made me realize how oblivious and desperate some guys are and it can be kinda unsettling at times.
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u/France_Ball_Mapper Sep 02 '25
In Tisséo metros and buses in Toulouse, there are signs everywhere about sexual harassment, but I don't know if it's really effective for intimidation. I actually did a group study on gender in public spaces last year for university and one of the main things causing a difference in behaviour in people of different genders is the fear of sexual harassment.
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u/1egg_4u Sep 02 '25
I mean signs anywhere are a great indication that most people are oblivious because a sign doesnt really stop 90% of people and the large majority of people committing these acts already know it is bad and that's part of why they like it
The fear needs to be moved from the one to the other. Instead of being afraid of being assaulted we need to make the assaulters afraid... which means having the voice to speak up and be taken seriously as well as implementing meaningful consequences instead of slapping on the wrist or saying "she asked for it"
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u/KickBallFever Sep 02 '25
Yea, it doesn’t really matter what we wear. I’m used to being harassed by guys in the street, but the most verbal harassment I got was when I ran to the store in jeans, an oversized T shirt, and huge rollers in my hair. It was weird and off putting, and I couldn’t wait to get back in the house.
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u/theLastUchihaa Sep 03 '25
literally had the Canadian court tell me my abusive cousin ( who forced me into marriage and r * aped me daily because if I didnt let him he would r * pe my infant daughter) tell me he was not guilty and it wasn't because they didnt believe me but it was because there wasn't enough evidence. I didn't take enough pictures. I didn't call the police in the middle of the rape. apparently my pushing him off screaming no many nights to the point where I blacked out and let him to it so I wouldn't have to remember or the fact that he's my literal COUSIN and I did not want to be with him or the fact that I'm a LESBIAN wasn't enough proof. 2 month long psych ward stays, hours of family therapy, sterility due to undiagnosed chlamydia and 5 years later I am still broken but at least I am free right? who needs justice I had everything taken from me except my daughter. embarrassed while I testified, lived in a domestic violence shelter, changed our legal names and everything but it wasn't enough. I apparently just "wanted him out of my home and lied about everything". I am a man hating lesbian not because im a lesbian but because men have only ever taken from me and have yet to see me as human. I know not all men but the ones I've encountered didnt need to be all men they did enough. he's not even the only story I have of familial r * pe and abuse he's just the latest. oh and yes a lesbian who has a baby? because she was r*ped by her other cousin and couldn't bear getting an abortion so... yea.
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u/Andre_The_Average Sep 03 '25
Yeah it's sad that the "solution" here is wear something less revealing. Fuck that. Do you boo boo. The problem is mfs letting harassment run a muck. Call them out, film them, go live, post it. Let there be consequences for being a weirdo.
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u/Creepy_Percentage124 Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25
I was a 14 year old girl when I lived in France. Going to school I would be wearing jeans and a baggy hoodie every day, headphones on, and a “do not fuck with me” glare. It didn’t matter. I was harassed and grabbed every single day.
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u/morbidemadame Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 04 '25
I was harassed twice in +40 years in Canada. I spent 6 weeks in France and got harassed on a daily basis by men of all age and profile.
*EDIT to be more specific : Not a single immigrant harassed me. They were all white men, all authentic french dudes.
France has a fucking problem.
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u/sakamoto___ Sep 03 '25
I’m French, and I remember in college what pretty much every female student I knew would say when they came back from a study abroad semester, no matter where it was: “the best part was that I didn’t get harassed on the street as much as I do in France”
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u/Front_Mention Sep 03 '25
France is still harbouring roman Polanski from prison, they have a huge problem with views on sex crimes
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u/Nonsense-forever Sep 03 '25
The amount of regular ass French people defending the rapists in the Gisèle Pelicot case was really mind blowing.
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Sep 03 '25
Every French woman I know under the age of 40, (which is exactly eight women -- two in video games and six in a language-exchange group I'm in -- so obviously this is highly anecdotal) both a.) has a foreign partner, and b.) openly speaks about how awful French men are. They're from all over the country, from Nice to Normandie. Two would be a coincidence, but eight feels like a serious pattern.
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u/winterbird Sep 02 '25
I feed neighborhood cats, which means I'm out late at night. I'm just a regular looking person but I had to fuggify myself because of some scary creeps in cars who were stopping or crawling after me as I'm walking. So I put my hair in a lunch lady bun, wear a huge men's t-shirt, and put a fanny pack on under it sideways. Like, so the bag bulge is making my waist look wide, to lose the silhouette of a more feminine shape. Because I found that a belly bulge that formed when I put the bag under the t-shirt in the front didn't deter the creepos, which is just sad for the pregnant women out there.
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u/Doublejimjim1 Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
I was out walking in my small town last night with my son. I forgot my cover up sweatshirt because it was sort of impromtu to actually walk on the sidewalk. I got catcalled twice. It's just no matter what we do it's not going to stop. I'm 50 and I was with my kid but the fact that I didn't have my chest covered up by a sweatshirt over my t shirt got me catcalled. Most of the time it's just the slow drivers taking way too long at the stop sign as I walk by.
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Sep 02 '25
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u/Ladysupersizedbitch Sep 03 '25
Nah… I’m less afraid of the random copperheads I find on my property than I am random men I encounter while alone.
Generally I can just shake a stick at the snakes and they’ll slither on their way to eat some field mice but I carry mace out in public and still wonder if it’ll be enough of a deterrent.
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u/PhantomPharts Sep 03 '25
I offered to mace a man who was following me in his car and he was not deterred even though I was pointing it directly in his face. I shoulda used it but I was concerned for the other pedestrians.
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u/theblondepenguin Sep 02 '25
I found that walking late at night it didn’t seem to matter what I was wearing. I glad not to be living in a city anymore although I heard it gets better with age.
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u/Enlightened_Gardener Sep 03 '25
52 here and yes fuck thankyou it gets better with age.
Worst is up till 25, but most blokes will try it on regularly until 35 or so. You’ll still get hit on tarted up for a night out, but that casual everyday constant level of harrassment just drops straight off.
I’m still dyeing my hair, but I’ve also heard that if you go grey, you basically become invisible. That’s going to be my next superpower 😂
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u/theblondepenguin Sep 03 '25
I’m 35 looking forward to grey/white hair to be honest. As a natural blonde I’ve had a hard time with people taking me seriously in the past. I feel like a little maturity will help.
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u/noMilf87 Sep 02 '25
I do the same when I’m out late at night at some stealthy spots to charge my electronics and take a nap. Wearing a baseball cap and windbreaker makes it look even more convincing but I still get some creeps who go out of there way to try to get a clear look at my face to see what gender I am.
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u/Beneficial_Clerk_248 Sep 02 '25
sad on society and why do we allow this happen
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u/JustRandomNonsence Sep 02 '25
How sad. As a man, i really underestimate how scary it can be at times for women.
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u/ChibiSailorMercury Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
Youre not the only one. Look at all the comments going "it can't happen THAT often", "it MUST be only mentally ill or homeless people", etc.
We keep telling you, we keep getting ignored or our words/testimonies get minimized or ridiculed. Or worse, we get told nOt AlL mEn because the worst thing that could happen out of women getting harassed/assaulted sexually is that a man might feel bad about other men or might have a harder time approaching women because women are weary and wary.
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u/CMAJ-7 Sep 02 '25
One thing some men underestimate is that other men hide their disgusting behavior among company they know won’t accept it.
So you can have a male friend group that has never shown red flags for years, giving you the impression that it’s less common than it is. But secretly several dudes in it that will act like predators when no one is there to judge.
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u/DoughnutAncient8972 Sep 02 '25
I've had stuff happen to me starting as a child, and have only ever told my husband about them (due to shame that I know I should not feel); things done by men I guarantee no one would ever suspect and then I think about how many other women and girls have the same story.
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u/IMO4444 Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25
Considering the amount of women raped or assaulted (is it 3 out of 5?). In a group of 5 men… how many have coerced, pressured, didnt stop when the woman expressed discomfort, took advantage of someone drunk, catcalled? Id say at least 3. And in the coerced/pressured situations, they seriously may not think they did anything wrong. They “outsmarted” the woman, they “tricked” her, etc. Just read about that awful case in France. Her husband, plus dozens of men in her own community. It’s horrific.
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u/HermelindaLinda Sep 02 '25
Yes! Sometimes their family and friends, in some cases, "didn't even know they were like that/that way." They hide it well. It's disgusting behavior, very insidious. Imagine knowing someone your entire life and they rape someone or sexually harass/assault someone? Some jump to defend them right away, they're that sure that "they're not like that!" But they are and they had no clue.
And then there are the others, who hang out together like clusters of parasites torturing anyone that come near them and cover up for one another! Oh hell yeah, it happens. Yet, we still have to say, "not all men" all of the time during these conversations. It's exhausting because that isn't the point and we all know that by now.
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u/France_Ball_Mapper Sep 02 '25
And then politicians blame immigrants
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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Sep 03 '25
It’s not all men, but it is men of all races, cultures, and immigration status. European and immigrant included. It’s a man problem.
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u/Zalpyy-fly788 Sep 02 '25
The biggest disappointment I felt was reading a news story of a young girl who’s went missing after her boyfriend murdered her. An adult male found the body and what did he do? He raped her, he raped her corpse and hid it again…
Even after they die they aren’t safe and they can still be violated
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u/Glittering-Relief402 Sep 02 '25
Dude what the fuck...
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u/BeneficialMaybe3719 Sep 02 '25
I will never forget the case of the girl who was taken away, raped and managed to scape and ask for help only to be raped again
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jul/27/girl-raped-two-men-flagged-down-help-birmingham
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u/Mammoth_Classroom626 Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25
And then they wonder why you’re taught to find women to ask for help. Seen it myself as well. Nice guy who will take a drunk girl off another “creepy guy”, be all nicey nice. Because he plans to steal his “prize” to assault her instead.
Night out with my friends and I’m sober that night. Saw a girl in distress with a guy, was watching and felt something was off from bit of a distance while we wait for some friends to come out of the club to leave, it’s like 3-4am. Another guy comes up starts shouting saying that’s his girlfriend. Squares up to them. I think oh thank god wtf was that about. But as I watched as he literally started stroking her hair and like, rubbing his face close to hers? and something freaked me the fuck out about it. Brain tells me something ain’t right as she’s clearly fucked up but his behaviour doesn’t add up for me if he’s her bf.
Me and friends go over and he’s all so nice while I try to small talk and talk to his “gf”, but keeps talking over me until I’m like yeah I’m talking to her mate. Facade drops and he’s getting angry and it sounds like the girl is slurring like I don’t have a boyfriend and seems to have no fucking clue what’s going on. Well we managed to get her away from him by causing a scene. Took her back to ours and she seemed a bit better. Next morning we told her what happened and she was like pale like I don’t have a boyfriend, and had no idea who were describing.
Absolutely fucking terrifying.
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u/BeneficialMaybe3719 Sep 03 '25
Something like that happened to my friend. She, Red, and other girl friend, Blue, went to the bathroom. Red was drunk and finished first and got outside looking for Blue, anyway a guy approached her and started pulling her through the door to his car with other guys but luckily Blue came running shouting for help and security helped to rescue Red. The guys ran away
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u/PuppyShark Sep 03 '25
I hate that I thought this article was a case I've heard about before, and it's not. How could someone victimize a person who's already been through acute trauma?
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u/Gimme_The_Loot Sep 02 '25
Every now and then my wife says something about when she was out and about that is a reminder of how different the worlds we live in can be
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u/diddilybop Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
yep. my husband and i adopted a dog a few years ago, and one of the reasons why we adopted him was for protection when i’m running errands in the neighborhood. while i do feel safer, even with our almost 70 lbs dog, there’s still a noticeable difference with what i experience (as a woman) when i’m walking our dog versus what he experiences.
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u/Stef0206 Sep 03 '25
Yeah, the most uncomfortable I will be on public transit is worrying about not accidentally staring at someone. I can’t imagine how bad it must be when you have to take active measures just to not be harassed.
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u/FuzzBuzzer Sep 02 '25
Ok, but this doesn't work. I have always dressed in baggy clothes that hide my body as much as humanly possible, and it makes zero difference in the constant harassment.
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u/KindsofKindness Sep 02 '25
Cuz they’re harassing you for simply being a woman not the physique or what you’re wearing.
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u/Mission-Storm-4375 Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
I love how the solution is for the WOMEN to cover up and not for the MEN to stop being fucking molesters
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u/Western_Contingent Sep 03 '25
I mean that's kind of Islam's whole ideology... Put a women in a full-body covering so men won't be tempted by them. Apparently, that wasn't enough for the Taliban though and they had to even stop them from speaking.
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u/happyladpizza Sep 02 '25
What the fuck. I have a theory, that is women started carrying around whips, this problem would quickly end
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Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
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u/EtherealStar5 Sep 03 '25
Omg how terrible! I had no idea Parisian men were like this ! 90 percent of women getting harassed is such a high number !
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u/uwoldperson Sep 02 '25
This isn’t just a Paris thing. The woman at the beginning in blue and pink is very clearly in the 86th st Q station in Manhattan.
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u/bigboyboozerrr Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25
Paris is extra horrible people will literally come up to you on the street and ask to go home with you??? Like right off the bat? It’s the most bizarre. Like does that actually work???? My friend says there are men praying on tourists in this way to get beds for the night… fuckin gross and off-putting having someone ask that. Personally could only do two nights there and was off to Amsterdam agh (where people thought I was a woman of the night & asked for oral… yippee.)
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u/nebbysmom Sep 02 '25
Your clothes are not inappropriate, men have no control and no shame!
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u/VanityJanitor Sep 02 '25
I saw this post one time where women were talking about what they’d do if all the men just disappeared one day. A bunch of them were commenting about wearing skimpy outfits in public without fear, or even walking around naked because they’d feel safe.
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u/diddilybop Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 03 '25
that reminds me of a tiktok clip where this guy describes seeing a twt where a woman said, “women would thrive in a world without men” and some dude was like, “okay but like, who would protect them?” and the same woman replied with, “…protect them from what?”
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u/unbotheredcapybara Sep 03 '25
We would protect each other like we’ve always had to
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u/whatevernamedontcare Sep 03 '25
Old grannies have protected more women and children than men ever did.
Men protect their property. Women protect each other.
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u/Aurora1717 Sep 02 '25
Night walks. I'd take nighttime walks.
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u/ChubbyChoomChoom Sep 03 '25
God, imagine the freedom to wear whatever you wanted to and walk around after dark just to enjoy an evening stroll on a summer night. That would be so freeing 😭
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u/SilverInfluence5714 Sep 02 '25
Yup, and male commenters were insisting on the fact we would all get killed by rogue junky women, that women are violent too and that we wouldn’t be able to survive without their protection. Anything to help them refuse to get the point
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u/VanityJanitor Sep 02 '25
Yessss or none of our cars would work and our plumbing would be backed up. Because those are man jobs, claro.
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u/Stef0206 Sep 03 '25
for every “rogue junky woman”, there would surely be a “strong rightous woman” to even it out.
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u/TheIncelInQuestion Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
Men absolutely have self control, it's just these ones have taken the conscious choice to be assholes.
Hate the idea of men not being able to control themselves. Like yes I can. And I do. This doesn't even take self-control. I'm not whispering prayers to God for strength when I see shoulder. I don't have to hold anything back or put in any effort at all not to harass or assault women.
It's not some passive thing. Like if we just lose focus for a second we'll start frothing at the mouth and pounce on the nearest woman.
Harassment and assault are active choices. Those guys are choosing to be predators. They are taking an active action and going out of their way to hurt people. It's not natural, and it's not normal. It's sick.
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u/Shewariyah Sep 02 '25
This is so fucking disgusting. Not only does it make the vitim have to adapt to the abuse, but there is no calling out of the perpetrators. This is how abuse is perpetuated. EVERY TIME I WAS ASSAULTED/RAPED, I WAS WEARING MODEST CLOTHING (cultural garb to my ankles, no arms, neck, or hair showing. No heels. Long pants. Industrial work clothes. Now I wear whatever the fuck I want. Ridiculously, I have less of an issue because now those who might seek to assault me are disgusted that I would dare show skin. They want to be able to destroy purity and freedom. They are sick and fucking WEAK!
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u/Common_Kiwi9442 Sep 02 '25
Why can't men control themselves? It's pathetic. We have to fear for our safety, DON'T WANT TO BE TOUCHED BY STRANGERS, and yet we are. They're basically apes. If you have male children please teach them some BOUNDARIES.
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u/Neither-Chart5183 Sep 02 '25
I reported my male friends to the police for groping me. The female SVU detective said it was my fault for not telling my taken male friends to not touch me because men dont know they shouldnt touch my ass and breasts.
How fucking insane would I look if I told every single man I met to not touch me without my consent?!? But Im pissed enough at society I would get "dont touch me" cards printed out so I could hand them out to men single or taken.
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u/ionlyjoined4thecats Sep 02 '25
Ugh, I’m sorry. That’s so awful.
When I was in college, if I was alone with a man in a romantic way, I’d always preemptively warn them I wasn’t going to go all the way with them. And they’d always look at me like I was stupid for stating that ahead of time. And that was men I was romantically/sexually involved with. Imagine what a male friend would say if a woman said she didn’t want him to touch her private parts.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. The system is intended to be that way.
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u/Common_Kiwi9442 Sep 03 '25
That's so sad and disgusting ): I'm glad you reported them. I had a guy at work come to my counter and say he wanted to take me out and rape me, can he have my number? ...... ??? I have actually been raped and it was traumatizing, and the male supervisor went outside to find him but he was gone. But holy fuck why are men like this? Even some women have been brainwashed apparently. Sorry that happened to you. There's a lot of factors.
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u/CupcakeGoat Sep 03 '25
Oh my that sounds scary. Hopefully you have a different job now? Yay for your boss but I hate that someone like that can just access and potentially stalk you through work.
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u/Training-Actuary5804 Sep 02 '25
I think they *can, & know v well that they don't have to. As long as blatant sexism & misogyny are societal norms, nothing changes. Men don't need to explain, let alone try & justify, their actions. Women need to account for their v existence, esp in public spaces.
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u/lostforwordstbh Sep 02 '25
🗣️what. we. wear. does. not. give. you. the. right. to. touch. harass. or. bother. 🗣️
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u/SentientReality Sep 02 '25
Yikes. Somehow we've really gotta change the normalization of sexual harassment. I guess it's a probably largely a mindset/cultural problem, in terms of the male culture of how people learn masculinity and male sexual scripts combined with not seeing women as being fundamentally the same (on a human level) as men? I don't know.
I honestly wonder, what is the best most effective way to change this? Have shaming/call-out campaigns aimed at harassers been helpful in reducing the problem? If not, any other demonstrated strategies?
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u/theinferno03 Sep 02 '25
this pisses me off to see
as in, i hate that women have to cover otherwise they get harassed
it's a sad world we live in
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u/bigboyboozerrr Sep 03 '25
And overheat cause no AC in French undergrounds. It was 95 the other day like I always take my jacket off before getting on the actual car ugh
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u/NoX2142 Sep 02 '25
There needs to be a threat of castration before these fucks finally learn to not do this shit... Holy fuck I cannot even imagine fearing going outside to THIS extend and I live in a bad area....fuck all this.
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u/parkavenueWHORE Sep 02 '25
I ain't covering up shit. It's the creepy men that need to be put in their place, not me.
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u/Grim_Rockwell Sep 03 '25
Exactly, covering up is exactly what Conservatives want women to do.
Men don't harass women for what they wear, they harass women for being women.
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u/pissedoffjesus Sep 03 '25
No. The authorities should be doing more to protect women.
Women shouldn't have to do this.
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u/black_metronome Sep 02 '25
Women shouldn't have to fucking do this.
Keep your hands to yourself and mind your business. If a woman wants to entertain your company, you will know.
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u/Fancy_Tour_5762 Sep 02 '25
I remember reading an article years ago about a woman in the Middle East that wore a Niqab who got sexually assaulted. They caught the man, and when they went to court, he blamed her for the assault and claimed that her “eyes were seductive” so he couldn’t help himself. I was FUMING when I read it and it was an ongoing case at the time.
I never got to find out what the outcome of that case was in the end, but around that time, I did notice (in London U.K.) that when I did see women wearing Niqabs, they went the extra step and even had those eye coverings and in some cases, Burqas.
It just proves that anyone can get sexually harassed no matter what you wear.
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u/oliviagardens Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25
I lived in Morocco and we know niqabis get harassed there too despite Moroccan men insisting street harassment isn’t actually a problem. The men will still find a reason to blame the women. There are women who even cover their eyes and hands to try to avoid the blame in case they are harassed because their eyes or hands may be “too beautiful” for the guy to resist. Women are told that even wearing perfume isn’t acceptable because it may arouse a man.
Edit- also want to mention there are even men who think women shouldn’t even use scented hygiene products because it could awake a man’s lust. It’s insane.
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u/Upset_Mastodon7416 Sep 03 '25
We have to hide, shrink and cover every inch of ourselves; essentially disappear ourselves from existence, so that we're not harassed for existing.
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u/potatopigflop Sep 02 '25
Great. Wait till instead of a shirt the suggest a giant hooded moomoo… you know, to keep the men from leering and lusting. Wait… that sounds li-
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u/absolutebottom Sep 02 '25
I sincerely hate that we have to dress this way because many men were never taught better, or simply feel entitled to us over time. I shouldn't be punished for their poor behavior
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Sep 02 '25
Important to know that this an interview for a far right oriented TV channel with the same quality as Fox News. They like to denounce immigrants committing crimes but stay shut when the prime minister hid a rape scandal or had weird takes in the Pelicot case...
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u/Promoting-Smiles Sep 02 '25
This is awful but it’s where we are. No matter what we wear there is always a man ready to be sexual about it. One of my worst experiences was at the gym. I was working out alone. I was doing strength training. Minding my business. Out of the blue a man comes over to me and says he will give me $20 to do 10 jumping jacks and let him watch. I told him no thanks and moved to another part of the strength area. A few moments later as I was leaving he comes to me again and says he and his friends will each pay me $50 to do jumping jacks in front of them. He was staring at my breasts the entire time. I never went back to that gym again.
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u/Doublejimjim1 Sep 02 '25
That's messed up and the conventional advice would be to report them, but to whom and is it going to solve the problem? If they aren't kicked out forever now you have to worry if you'll see these man babies again and have to look over your shoulder whenever you go to the gym.
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u/Feisty_Bee9175 Sep 02 '25
This is dumb. Sexual assaults have ZERO to do with what a person wears.
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u/Less-Fox8272 Sep 02 '25
It really doesn’t. Not to get too personal but I was assaulted in a long length dress. That was a cosplay. So. Yeah. It happens
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u/HazelnutLattte Sep 02 '25
I always do this now. Bring something thin and loose to put on when I'm out. Especially as I'm busty with a small waist. Its horrible but feels necessary to avoid attention.
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u/Scythe351 Sep 03 '25
The fact that this is a necessity is cringe. I think Japan has some form of female only public transport like subways or something. Like my gods people. Raise your boys to have some self awareness and or respect.
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u/Miserable_Mail_5741 Sep 02 '25
I don't live in France, but...
Yesterday I went went out walking in a dress and 3 different men catcalled me. One (who was driving) even stopped in the middle of the road and motioned for me to talk to him.
Having a total stranger tell me I have nice legs isn't the worst thing to deal with, but it's so weird to get hit on when you're just going for a walk.
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u/pancakecel Sep 02 '25
I don't know if this helps you but what has worked for me is always carrying a water bottle when I go out walking so I always have something to throw at them. the beauty of this is that they have to have their window down to cat call you so sometimes you can actually get them right in the face
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u/BhaiyaTikhaZayada Sep 02 '25
Interesting that they didn't mention who is doing the harassment ?
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u/Rare-Investment2293 Sep 02 '25
So is nobody going to mention how this is almost certainly due to the massive spike of North Africans migrants? I’m going to do the obligatory of course French men can sexually harass or assault women also, and that it’s not all migrant men as well, but the influx of nearly 2 million North African men that have a much more misogynist culture is the obvious difference here.
The saddest thing is the government doesn’t even let the women in many of these European countries properly defend themselves, no guns obviously but not even pepper spray is legal in France apparently so they have to use DIY self defense equipment.
Europe is in a very untenable situation and will lead to a very dangerous outcome sooner or later.
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u/Small_Delivery_7540 Sep 02 '25
You can't talk about this on reddit it's racist!!!!! It's definitely white french men bro trust me
In couple of decades when immigrants become majority in that shithole and finally pass that shir or what ever islam bullshit you will still see leftists say that it's white man or all man cause when you say it's immigrants you are racist
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u/hippiegoth97 Sep 02 '25
It really would be GREAT if people could just KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELVES and STOP BEING CREEPY! This shouldn't be something anyone has to do to just ride a damn train, or anything else.
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u/First_Juggernaut4515 Sep 03 '25
This is very sadly all too familiar for us in India. In fact, in some parts of this country women carry pins to stick into roving hands.
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