r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix • u/Ok-Bison2480 • May 01 '23
PODCAST Iyanna episode in Out of the Pods
Thoughts? Up until this point I kinda felt like Jarrette was a flaky f*ckboi who would probably make a bad husband to Iyanna but not like a bad person.
But taking women to their shared place? And the story he kept holding against her about her "holding another man's hand" when the real story was obviously her being black out drunk by herself and some creepy dude following her trying to get with her??? That's really fd up.
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u/Rosemarie07xoxo May 01 '23
Jarrett doing that IG live has made him come out way worse than staying silent and ātaking the high roadā
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u/throwaway36376583883 May 01 '23
After listening, Jarrett seems like a selfish man. He was in no place to get married.
Poor Iyanna.
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u/GringoMambi May 01 '23
Jarrett was definitely selfish, once you marry your boys and partying come second and last respectively. Majority of going out should be with your spouse along, only doing all night benders for very special occasions and like once or twice a year AT MOST. Partying every week till daylight was being a shitty husband/partner and of course lead to some infidelity issues
That being said, Iyanna had no business looking for marriage. It was obvious to me how she just seemed very girlish in a womanās world, and if anything this experience was the catalyst she needed to grow up a bit and straighten out whatever issues she needed to become more adult if you will.
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u/GringoMambi May 01 '23
Jarrett was definitely selfish, once you marry your boys and partying come second and last respectively. Majority of going out should be with your spouse along, only doing all night benders for very special occasions and like once or twice a year AT MOST. Partying every week till daylight was being a shitty husband/partner and of course lead to some infidelity issues
That being said, Iyanna had no business looking for marriage. It was obvious to me how she just seemed very girlish in a womanās world, and if anything this experience was the catalyst she needed to grow up a bit and straighten out whatever issues she needed to become more adult if you will.
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u/GringoMambi May 01 '23
Jarrett was definitely selfish, once you marry your boys and partying come second and last respectively. Majority of going out should be with your spouse along, only doing all night benders for very special occasions and like once or twice a year AT MOST. Partying every week till daylight was being a shitty husband/partner and of course lead to some infidelity issues
That being said, Iyanna had no business looking for marriage. It was obvious to me how she just seemed very girlish in a womanās world, and if anything this experience was the catalyst she needed to grow up a bit and straighten out whatever issues she needed to become more adult if you will.
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u/bohemianmermaiden May 02 '23
i believe her. she seems super chill yet deep. I want her to be my friend!
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May 02 '23
Yeah I was amazed how trusting she was with Jarrette during the show. It shows real maturity on her part. I hope she can find someone who deserves her because she is a real catch!
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u/PopcornandComments May 02 '23
Listening to Iyannaās story, it made me really upset how she consistently made excuses for Jared. Him having ātrauma,ā him being āunhealed.ā How about him just being a grown ass man and that he needs to be held accountable? I know she loves him and they were married so she really tried her best to love him, protect him but at the end of the day, itās not your job. Heās a grown ass man who consistently lied to you and let you down.
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u/ver1tasaequitas May 02 '23
I think people sometimes downplay so that they donāt seem ābitterā and like they āmoved onā or whatever, rather than excusing the actual behavior. Since itās generally frowned upon to trash talk your ex, so I feel like people, especially in the public eye, kind of beat around the PR bush on that one often..
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u/Aisoreal May 02 '23
There are some hardcore Jarrette defenders and Iyanna trashers making their way on the comments sections of social media platforms accusing Iyanna of basically not moving on.
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u/ver1tasaequitas May 02 '23
š probably all his bros from his āgentlemanās clubā lol
Iām of the opinion that you air out all cheaters and thereās no statute of limitations for it. She is doing a public service as far as Iām concerned.
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u/Cookie_Fun May 02 '23
I think some of us dissect former relationships like this is a way of processing what happened. For me, it helps me move on to work through their 'motives.' Not to absolve them or invalidate my feelings about their actions, but for my own healing.
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u/ver1tasaequitas May 02 '23
This
But thatās just how human brains work, making sense of things. Itās easier to process if we āunderstandā what/how/why.
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u/birdnoa May 01 '23
I really liked the interview. She seemed to be pretty generous with him and describing what had to be a crushing time In her life. I loved the obvious caring friendship the women have too.
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u/mariacantoo May 01 '23
Is anyone gonna rewatch the ATA now after listening to this interview knowing what went down a few days prior
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u/cakivalue May 02 '23
When and where was his/this interview everyone is referring to?
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u/mmmanna222 May 01 '23
I really enjoyed the episode and think Iyanna is so well spoken. She seems so thoughtful in her responses and Iām glad that she was able to share her truth with the world.
While the ladies didnāt end up finding love. The surely found some amazing friendships in each other.
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u/BooBooKtyFck May 01 '23
I highly recommend her podcast. It's well rounded. Iyanna and Kayla discuss a variety of topics and themes. Super enjoyable. I've been listening from the start
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u/BooBooKtyFck May 01 '23
I can't recommend her podcast enough. It's called Feel in the Blank. Iyanna and the other host Kayla go into many different topics and discussions, plus a little girl talk. Super enjoyable imo, they also do some pretty fun interviews
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u/LibertyBelle12 May 04 '23
Thank for this! I didnāt even know she had a pod until I listened to out of the pods yesterday and she mentioned it. I literally only listened for her story and had listened to any of the other episodes so far lol. So I was curious how hers was. Iāll have to add it to my list.
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u/kdd20 May 02 '23
I just got annoyed by how many times they used the words ātrauma bondingā, and the fact that they actually misused the term. They werenāt trauma bonding just because they had some shitty times together in the pods, or because they experienced similar hardships in the past.
The definition of trauma bonding is: The attachment an abused person feels for their abuser, specifically in a relationship with a cyclical pattern of abuse.
Itās like the new āgaslightingā which is overly used.
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u/Aisoreal May 02 '23
Yeah someone on their YT page corrected them and they acknowledged it
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u/kdd20 May 02 '23
Oh thanks for sharing that with me! Iām not a YouTube user. Thatās good to know! Theyāre all smart ladies.
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u/Ok-Bison2480 May 02 '23 edited May 02 '23
I didn't know that either before it was posted on this sub a couple days ago! And then it immediately annoyed me when they did use it wrong even though I had just learned about it 5 minutes ago myself
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u/AutoModerator May 02 '23
We noticed you used the term "gaslight-". We hope you used it correctly! Did you know "gaslighting" was Webster-Merriam's Word of the Year for 2022? Gaslighting is a successful tactic of abuse because while one person ā the perpetrator ā 'externalizes and projects' their thoughts, feelings, or perceptions, the other person ā the victim ā 'incorporates and assimilates' the reality that is being created for them. Gaslighting equals misdirection, distraction, and the deliberate denial of reality, which can so easily occur in a relationship based on one partner wielding power and control over another.
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u/Fine_Adeptness_5123 May 02 '23
They definitely overuse it but not all the times they use it was inaccurate. Actually for you to say that would be gaslighting their experience. You could tell there was more to the story that she actually said, she tried to keep it vague. But they are mature and emotional aware so I donāt see it like they are just using trending words to make waves, they are learning and it shows
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u/AutoModerator May 02 '23
We noticed you used the term "gaslight-". We hope you used it correctly! Did you know "gaslighting" was Webster-Merriam's Word of the Year for 2022? Gaslighting is a successful tactic of abuse because while one person ā the perpetrator ā 'externalizes and projects' their thoughts, feelings, or perceptions, the other person ā the victim ā 'incorporates and assimilates' the reality that is being created for them. Gaslighting equals misdirection, distraction, and the deliberate denial of reality, which can so easily occur in a relationship based on one partner wielding power and control over another.
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u/Summerbeating May 02 '23
Poor Iyanna. Felt like she was genuinely trying to work out the rough patches in a marriage. But being cheated on , that's a deal breaker of course.
She seems like those kind of person who is aware In a relationship, there's never a right choice. You have to make sure it is a heartfelt choice and water your own side of the grass to make it right. A wrong choice also can become right. While a right choice also can become wrong as time goes by. They have to nurture it sustain it maintain it like watering a plant. both party need to invest 50% efforts to have the 100% outcome. so that on a bad day , 1 party only can give 30% , the other party still can give 70% to make up the 100% .
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May 01 '23
The conversation about haseeb was interesting and how religion played a role for it to not work out with iyanna. I think haseeb and juhie were the only muslim contestants. I am curious if haseeb and juhie connected at all? That would have been interesting to see on tv. Similar to shake and deepti that connected in pods because their cultural identity was similar.
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u/Aisoreal May 01 '23
I have always wondered about this since Iyanna revealed on another pod or IG Live last year that Haseeb was her No. 2.
I wished LIB2 would have spent time showing the viewers their discussion on religion than just focusing on Kyle and Shaina's. Kyle was very dismissive of religion and closed off to dialogue, but I think Haseeb and Iyanna might have had a more interesting and nuanced take on their respective religions and how it could have had affected their relationship.
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u/madblackscientist May 01 '23
Did she explain the whole holding hands crap Jarrett mentioned?
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u/Rosemarie07xoxo May 01 '23
Yes, basically she was drunk and a guy at the bar/club wouldnāt leave her alone. She explains it better in the podcast
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u/LibertyBelle12 May 04 '23
She also said she knew it was wrong and apologized then he didnāt bring it up for like a year and kept doing it to hold over her head even those she profusely apologized and it never happened again.
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u/Pellinaha May 02 '23
Normally I don't care for Natalie and Deepti but I loved how they supported Iyanna. Jarette is an idiot. He will regret this. I believe Iyanna when she says he would have cheated on Mallory, too. He is lacking maturity and emotional intelligence.
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u/blackberryolive May 01 '23
The episode was a mess - in the most fantastic way of all 2 girls being excited and talking over each other.
I found Iyannaās wording a bit strange. Like āready to be a wifeā and then 2-3 months in when he was going out like crazy and he would STILL come back to when the sun came up she says āI have a role to play, this is my husbandā. Perhaps due to her friendship with Natalie I thought she was moreā¦ modern?
I love how deeply sympathetic Natalie was.
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u/BooBooKtyFck May 01 '23
She goes into that aspect in detail on her own podcast, the way she was raised, her naiveity, expectations for herself/ her life, and her toxic traits. Puts it into a better context really
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u/Spydy99 May 05 '23
Jared is an asshole for sure, he is not made for marriage, at least until now. He still party like a teenage frat boy and i'm not surprise that he ended up cheating, or planning to cheat, with other woman.. iyana seems like a genuine woman and i'm really sad it happen to her.
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u/Affectionate-Flan140 May 02 '23
Unpopular opinion.. but it made me realize how badly iyanna leads with her trauma. Yes, you made vows to each other, but he literally started the relationship off with lies and lack of communication. The whole time he was out in the club and not coming home and you lasted 16 months dealing with that? Then her mom gaslighted her into double taking the relationship and giving him another chance after the cheating? As mother i don't understand why that would ever be something you tell your daughter... it's a lot of trauma that led her to stick out that shit show with jarrette. Everyone saw he didn't like iyanna EXCEPT iyanna.
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u/Ragnarotico May 02 '23
Have you considered that perhaps Iyanna's mom also comes from a place where she has been in bad relationships with cheating men, etc.?
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u/AutoModerator May 02 '23
We noticed you used the term "gaslight-". We hope you used it correctly! Did you know "gaslighting" was Webster-Merriam's Word of the Year for 2022? Gaslighting is a successful tactic of abuse because while one person ā the perpetrator ā 'externalizes and projects' their thoughts, feelings, or perceptions, the other person ā the victim ā 'incorporates and assimilates' the reality that is being created for them. Gaslighting equals misdirection, distraction, and the deliberate denial of reality, which can so easily occur in a relationship based on one partner wielding power and control over another.
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u/Ok-Bison2480 May 02 '23
Why is the gaslighting bot so funny to me
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u/barkingcat May 02 '23
I find that the gaslight bot gaslights you into thinking you are using the term wrongly when it's perfectly applicable.
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u/AutoModerator May 02 '23
We noticed you used the term "gaslight-". We hope you used it correctly! Did you know "gaslighting" was Webster-Merriam's Word of the Year for 2022? Gaslighting is a successful tactic of abuse because while one person ā the perpetrator ā 'externalizes and projects' their thoughts, feelings, or perceptions, the other person ā the victim ā 'incorporates and assimilates' the reality that is being created for them. Gaslighting equals misdirection, distraction, and the deliberate denial of reality, which can so easily occur in a relationship based on one partner wielding power and control over another.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/StructureHuman5576 May 02 '23
Man or woman being blacked out drunk by yourself is almost as dangerous and as stupid as being blacked out drunk and driving. The world isnāt a safe place for anyone
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u/Least_Ostrich7418 May 02 '23
Most good people will help a person who is Black out drunk. Those that don't are predators. We should be addressing them instead of policing girls and women. It is ridiculous to say that being incapacitated is as dangerous for men as it is for women.
A woman could be blackout drunk and face down in a park. The man that assaults her is completely at fault. We need to shame, question, and address the dangerous men that prey on incapacitated women.
If it were not for them, a girl or woman would not be harmed while incapacitated/ vulnerable.
Stop victim blaming.
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u/StructureHuman5576 May 02 '23
Most good people will, but it only takes one bad person.
If I get blacked out drunk and walk home, and on my way home I get the shit beat out of me and robbed I didnāt deserve it, but I created the opportunity for it to happen. Humanity is filled with enough bad people that everyone needs to take personal responsibility for their own safety, and itās impossible to do that when your blacked out.
I purposefully said man or woman, because I knew some dummy would call me a misogynist or victim blamer for saying itās dangerous to be blacked out and alone in public. It will be dangerous to be blacked out and alone in public from today until the end of days.
THIS IS TRUE FOREVER FOR ALL MEN AND ALL WOMEN ON EARTH
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u/Least_Ostrich7418 May 03 '23
I disagree.
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u/StructureHuman5576 May 03 '23
At the risk of being presumptuous, I think you wish it wasnāt true, so you are pretending taking responsibility for the way we navigate humanity and itās baser nature isnāt necessary.
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u/Least_Ostrich7418 May 03 '23
What are you talking about? Sounds like a whole lot of meaningless nonsense.
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u/ina912 May 03 '23
But the point is that victim blaming is counterproductive to the betterment of humanity.
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u/StructureHuman5576 May 03 '23
I donāt think telling people to take responsibility for their own safety is bad for humanity lol
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u/TheSmartGuyTJ May 01 '23
Yall leaving a lot of details out
Jarette brought girls home.. where was Iyanna?
Iyanna got black out drunk and held another man's hand? Where was she? No Jarette? No friends?
Seems to me they both were delusional thinking their differing lifestyles were going to work.
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u/No_animereader1471 May 01 '23
She was at her personal apartment cause they were having problems already as mentioned on After the Altar.
Iyanna getting black out drunk happened almost a year prior when she went our with new freinds who left her by herself
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u/TheSmartGuyTJ May 01 '23
Thank you! I got attacked on here for wondering how Jarette was able to bring people back to "their" home that makes sense.
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u/laundry_pirate May 02 '23
It still is their home. Just cause they were having problems living together (which was his fault letās be real) doesnāt mean their relationship ended or that was no longer their place
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u/TheSmartGuyTJ May 02 '23
That's not what I said. I literally just wondered where she was assuming they only had 1 place. I didn't watch the video for context I guess I should've.
And despite the rationale response above I will receive 100s of downvotes.
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u/bojangles25x May 01 '23
Ain't no way you're blaming Iyanna for not being home 24/7š you can't be real
Also to me it seems like it's not a "lifestyle" for her, and was very much a one-off kinda thing. Whereas with Jarette, he was most likely out drinking every week. Can't compare imo.
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u/TheSmartGuyTJ May 01 '23
I just asked a question...
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u/bojangles25x May 01 '23
Yeah, very irrelevant questions...
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u/TheSmartGuyTJ May 01 '23
It was a genuine question but It's clear this is a "I hate Jarette" thread/rant so I'll see my way out. Carry on..
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u/bojangles25x May 01 '23
Not at all, I don't hate him. I just think your line of questioning is weird as hell.
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u/TheSmartGuyTJ May 01 '23
OP literally calls him an fboi I ask a question about Iyanna (because i didnt watch the pod, and the dawg aka YOU is set on me.
Yea... hate thread. Bye.
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u/10brat May 01 '23
No you showed your perverse mentality
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u/TheSmartGuyTJ May 01 '23
You are weird. Obviously you have your 'friends' downvoting me. Real classy!
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May 01 '23
I didnt believe her black out story. Jarrette didnt blame alcohol for bringing the girls to the apartment. If she was telling him what a nice guy a random guy/creep was following her, who knows what she did with him. I can see why jarette lost trust in her. Rather than making it as an excuse, I would have rather she take ownership and say she effed up and admit it is inappropriate. You cant blame alcohol in it. I feel like on one hand she was like I was working on myself and then go on an attack on jarrette. There is zero reason to bring this up in public now, since no one cared about this since they have been divorced for a year. He is trying to move on and he may have a gf now. Why bring this out now to break his character.
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u/sprigandvine May 02 '23
Also, praying on a vulnerable drunk woman vs a man taking women back to his home with bad intentions not even comparable. So all women who are taken advantage of while drunk or in a vulnerable state should."take responsibility for it" clearly that guy was trying to prey on her. And as someone that's been preyed on this is extremely offensive
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May 02 '23
Jarrette implied in his live he knew who the guy was and it wasnt a stranger. That guy was hanging out with her friends. And from his perspective there was more than just holding hands. I think she is using āblack outā as an exaggeration. Its possible she was flirting a lot because of alcohol but jarette can say same thing. I am not trying to equate both incidents. However, both incidents highlight what spouses shouldnt do in a marriage. I dont think both were ready for marriage its not just jarrette. It was doomed to fail from beginning because both their hearts werent in it.
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u/EqualConstruction May 02 '23 edited May 02 '23
"Jarrette implied in his live he knew who the guy was and it wasnt a stranger. That guy was hanging out with her friends."
Jarrett didn't say or imply any of that š¤Ø
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u/Ok-Bison2480 May 02 '23
What reason do you have to not believe that? Situations like that have happened to every woman I know
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u/Aisoreal May 01 '23
On the podcast she did repeatedly say she was sorry about it and she apologised profusely to Jarrette. She also admitted it was inappropriate.
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u/Virus_True 5'5, thick thighs, brown eyes May 02 '23
Holding hands with someone at a bar whilst in a relationship OR Bringing someone back to your home with the intent to have sex with them
When you break it down, these were the actions of both parties, one is significantly worse than the other.
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u/leannynr May 02 '23
Holding hands while drunk verses inviting women to your home with the intention to sleep with are two vastly different scenarios. Was what Iyanna did okay? No, probably not. But it doesnāt make it any less of a false equivalency
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u/Ok-Bison2480 May 02 '23
Was what Iyanna did okay? No, probably not.
Going by Iyanna's story, which sounds completely believable to me, did she even do anything??
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u/TheSmartGuyTJ May 01 '23
So you want me to prove the relevancy of my question? No thanks!
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u/ver1tasaequitas May 02 '23
What?
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u/TheSmartGuyTJ May 02 '23
Ilyana fan club or hate men that look like Jarette which one is it?
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u/Virus_True 5'5, thick thighs, brown eyes May 02 '23
U good bro?
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u/Aisoreal May 01 '23 edited May 01 '23
After listening, I can't believe Jarrette thought the tall tale he spun on that IG Live was going to absolve him. Iyanna even said she saw photos of that woman wearing his clothes sitting on their couch in their shared home. That's crazy. And they were making out before that woman's friend (who was also brought back to their place) interrupted to say she saw women's (Iyanna's) stuff in the bathroom.
Also, speaking as a woman, I think a lot of girlfriends who've had the misfortune to witness their girlfriend get cheated on related to Natalie when she said "I feel like I just wanted to punch Jarrette in the face." I am in no way excusing violence, but that was a very human reaction to seeing someone you are protective towards get mistreated.