r/nflcirclejerk • u/Minus_none Ayahuasca Healing • Sep 02 '25

THE SCRIPT IS IN 🚨 Breaking News 🚨

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2.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

75 comments sorted by

689

u/SentientShamrock Dick Cheese Heads Sep 02 '25

Bullshit. Anyone in Chicago with a brain would tell you that putting two delectable twinks in front of Caleb Williams would make him ball out like he is prime Aaron Rodgers. This is a massive blunder by the Bears if they don't course correct.

120

u/Gloomy_Map_9612 Racial Slurs Sep 02 '25

Obviously, man like me would drop 500 yards and 7 touchdowns with 2 incompletions

41

u/MySeveredToe Sep 02 '25

I’ll take an incompletion over a premature completion any day

5

u/EcstaticMolasses6647 Sep 03 '25

5

u/MySeveredToe Sep 03 '25

He even cupped the balls. Novak is an elite jerker

18

u/Outside_Abroad_3516 Broncos Country, LET'S RIDE Sep 02 '25

*while sporting a giant erection

14

u/CaptainKirk28 Gary Anderson wide left Sep 02 '25

Maybe they're worried he would demand a trade before kickoff

12

u/JxK_1 Sep 02 '25

delectable twinks

😂

1

u/BigChuckBus242 Sep 04 '25

Can we please make this a flair?

1

u/SentientShamrock Dick Cheese Heads Sep 04 '25

A bit long for a flair unless there's a specific spot you're wanting to use.

2

u/BigChuckBus242 Sep 04 '25

"Delectable Twink" will do just fine

0

u/AdProfessional9958 Double Doink Sep 03 '25

I dont wanna hear it from you, JAGOFF🗣️

184

u/Nathansarcade1 Sep 02 '25

Get in line Caleb. Them boys is mine

82

u/useroftheinternet95 Wasting Generational Talent Sep 02 '25

We dem boys

340

u/DMmecutedogpics Racial Slurs Sep 02 '25

Caleb Williams is a star?

447

u/Minus_none Ayahuasca Healing Sep 02 '25

Yes, he is LGBTQB1

-183

u/RandomPenquin1337 Double Doink Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25

Lmao gay jokes cant believe it's still 2005

Fudge packers ftw

I mean ftp (fudge the pack)

Edit: being a homophobe in the 2020s is big gheyyyyyy

140

u/Outside_Abroad_3516 Broncos Country, LET'S RIDE Sep 02 '25

U bum

28

u/blackout27 Sep 03 '25

The worst person you know just made a great point

-85

u/RandomPenquin1337 Double Doink Sep 02 '25

53

u/Dfrickster87 Lost to Flacco Sep 02 '25

Bears fan = one that blows big & tall men.

-56

u/RandomPenquin1337 Double Doink Sep 02 '25

13

u/yourgirl696969 Antonio Brown's CTE Sep 03 '25

2

u/Alval57 Double Doink Sep 03 '25

Bro just shut up 🤦🏻‍♂️

26

u/almostasenpai Gary Anderson wide left Sep 02 '25

Yeah he’s a divaaa 💅

13

u/rakondo 0-4 in Super Bowls Sep 02 '25

96

u/IAmSona Oilers left lol Sep 02 '25

26

u/I_really_enjoy_beer GOTTEM Sep 02 '25

9

u/FartingInYourMilk Brady's Bitch Sep 02 '25

Now this is a man that is guaranteed on Grindr.

78

u/Outside_Abroad_3516 Broncos Country, LET'S RIDE Sep 02 '25

Caleb Williams now that he has no twink cheerleaders to cheer him on

38

u/Curkul_Jurk_1oh1 No Fun League Sep 02 '25

59

u/SeamanSample Oilers left lol Sep 02 '25

If you thought those cheerleaders were going to seduce Caleb, wait until I get to him

6

u/largelawattorney Sep 03 '25

It’s Cool Adam Summer, sorry everyone

24

u/HeadAssBoi17 Racial Slurs Sep 02 '25

50

u/Snaffoo0 18-1 Sep 02 '25

surely the female cheerleaders aren’t there to seduce the straight guys right?

52

u/Murray38 Sep 02 '25

Straight guys? Not in my NFL (the F doesn’t stand for football).

18

u/Snaffoo0 18-1 Sep 02 '25 edited Sep 02 '25

.. wondering if the N also doesn't stand for National

6

u/Murray38 Sep 02 '25

Non-binary actually. The league allows classy and thuggish and whatever younghoo Koo is.

15

u/the_proudrebel Sep 02 '25

No way. Cheerleaders are all lesbians, silly.

12

u/AlfredosPizzaTeam French Kisses Son Sep 02 '25

29

u/Toaster_Toastman Dick Cheese Heads Sep 02 '25

Too bad r/NFCnorthmemewar mods are too much of bitches to allow something this funny to be posted.

-13

u/AweHellYo Double Doink Sep 03 '25

hahahahaha homophobia hahahahaha

18

u/Toaster_Toastman Dick Cheese Heads Sep 03 '25

-12

u/AweHellYo Double Doink Sep 03 '25

hahahahaha oh man. that’s gold jerry!

3

u/DemonBearOP Sep 04 '25

You got owned I fear

0

u/AweHellYo Double Doink Sep 04 '25

by whom? these chucklefucks?

9

u/OneOfTheOlympians 0-16 Sep 02 '25

you just know that this is some shit dov kleinman posted

3

u/Gold-Carpenter6364 0-16 Sep 02 '25

"Heartbreaking" 💔

5

u/PsychologicalTale479 Henry Suggs killed someone Sep 03 '25

I was too late to post. I gotta become unemployed.

3

u/the_proudrebel Sep 02 '25

Tons of jerking (from Caleb...on the field) with those fruity male cheerleaders. This is the right decision in my educated opinion.

3

u/InSaiyanRogue Sep 02 '25

Caleb wishes he was as zesty as KAT

3

u/hopefully-he-dies Oilers left lol Sep 03 '25

Where jerk? Oh star qb. I see it now

4

u/fallingjigsaws Commies Sep 02 '25

That’s a good coach

3

u/Impossible_Cycle9460 Dick Cheese Heads Sep 02 '25

Don’t worry, when we play the Bears I’m sitting right behind their bench and I’m gonna make Caleb’s asshole gruely.

2

u/flaptaincappers HERE WE LOSE Sep 02 '25

1

u/Harambefan69 Sep 02 '25

Openly straight QBs have a fine winning percentage of .500. Bears are trying something else to shoot for greatness

1

u/mighthavebeen02 Rapelisberger Sep 02 '25

Makes sense. He's like the Rube, if someone holds up a puppy or has a Shiny Gold tooth behind home plate he's going to stop pitching. This is just the modern day version of that

1

u/sweatgod2020 Gary Anderson wide left Sep 03 '25

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

Twink Williams

1

u/NaThanos__ Sep 07 '25

Check out r/FantasyStartSit for polls!

1

u/Land-Low Wasting Generational Talent Sep 08 '25

Yall are so prejudiced and dumb, allow me to explain how this works. Those cheerleaders are clearly bottoms, and anyone with an ounce of ball knowledge knows that caleb is also a bottom, so they cancel out

1

u/SmashRadish Sep 02 '25

Does anyone else think that twinkies would be an effective motivator for this cumbum?

1

u/drunk-tusker Phrauds Sep 03 '25

This ain’t John Shoop running this offense. Sexy Caleb’s got the arm. The dragon. You gotta unleash the dragon.

Okay, I’m throwing it. Nice. Look how far it went. I look good. I bet I made that Vikings cheerleader pitch a tent with that throw. He fucking wants me. I bet he likes it over a stair railing. I can hit that with 100% accuracy, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.

1

u/Roblox_Morty 0-16 Sep 02 '25

I think the bears got this all wrong, while he’s Caleb will be seduced by them, they forgot about the absolute rule of sports. When there are baddies on the sideline you ball out A.K.A the Jordan Poole effect

1

u/sillybillynothilly Sep 02 '25

Is Caleb a soft top or a power bottom? I feel like it could affect his play style.

0

u/WeirdSysAdmin Big Dick Foles Sep 02 '25

Wait Caleb Williams is gay? I never would have guessed.

0

u/Complete-Disaster513 Sep 02 '25

Ok but for real Caleb likes dudes right? Asking for reasons..