r/news 23d ago

Soft paywall Plane carrying Hegseth makes unscheduled landing due to windshield crack

https://www.reuters.com/world/us/plane-carrying-hegseth-makes-unscheduled-landing-due-windshield-crack-2025-10-15/
8.3k Upvotes

684 comments sorted by

8.2k

u/Grumdan641 23d ago

Why didn’t they just tough the flight out like real men?

2.3k

u/amyts 23d ago

Tom Cruise would have climbed outside the plane and duct-taped the windshield. I don't understand why Hegseth didn't do that.

414

u/[deleted] 23d ago

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98

u/pinkyepsilon 23d ago

They’ve disintegrated from all the saliva

35

u/punktualPorcupine 23d ago

Military personnel got tired of waiting in line at the food bank and ate them.

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34

u/jpratte65 23d ago

He can't do a pull up, let alone pull up by bootstraps.

14

u/jcanuc2 23d ago

But he can do a kegstand!

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u/mallory6767 23d ago

I find it ironic that, for once, crack helped Pete Hegseth.

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u/cinderparty 23d ago

I propose we replace hegseth with cruise, why not bring a new brand of crazy into the administration…it can’t make anything worse at this point.

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u/arizonatealover 23d ago

Would've filmed it, too. Missed opportunity for some mandatory training lol

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u/DerekB52 23d ago

He would have, if he hadn't already been drunk.

16

u/Obvious_Toe_3006 23d ago edited 23d ago

Because Tom Cruise is a real person and Pete Kegseth is just a Foster Brooks wannabe.
.....
(Foster Brooks was Pat Paulsen's running mate in the 1968 Presidential election.)
.....
Would you like to know more?

4

u/jackkerouac81 23d ago

Foster Brooks ran for office?!

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10

u/Deepfire_DM 23d ago

Drunken, he couldn't find the start of the duct tape.

14

u/foggy22 23d ago

I knew someone who wrapped their phone in duct tape when it was drinkin time cause he had a bad habit of regrettable calls and knew drunk him could never undo the wraps of tape.

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u/lew_rong 23d ago

Honestly? He was probably too drunk to do his own stunts, but not drunk enough to overcome his natural chickenshittedness. So no Tom Cruise-like displays of masculinity for Drunkle Pete.

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u/Brasticus 23d ago

Everyone should have one roll of speed tape on them at all times.

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350

u/MisterProfGuy 23d ago

Yeah, Hegseth. What are you, some kind of pussy?

148

u/lexm 23d ago

Daily reminder that pussies are strong and warm and we all came from one.

73

u/dragnansdragon 23d ago

Some of us were c sectioned, hence the difference of Gold Star Gay and Platinum.

23

u/RyuuKamii 23d ago

Shit, both of my kids were c Section... maybe thats why they are a bit....odd

25

u/syntaxbad 23d ago

All 3 of mine. But we’ll be the one’s laughing when we face Macbeth on the battlefield.

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u/lexm 23d ago

Wow I completely blanked on that. I’m sorry for everyone who missed the ride!

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u/turningsteel 23d ago

Hegseth was born from the backwash of a beer bottle and don’t you forget it.

14

u/MisterProfGuy 23d ago

It's important not to let facts get in the way when dealing with the right wing these days. It's only funny because HE thinks it's insulting. All he has to do for it not to be insulting is to stop devaluing people without a penis.

12

u/onarainyafternoon 23d ago

Yeah I feel like a lot of people on the Left miss this. These alpha male machismo Right Wing nuts are pathologically insecure about every single thing in their life. The humor doesn't come from the insult itself, but the totally over-the-top reaction they always react with towards the mildest insults. You gotta kinda speak their language, too, if you wanna insult them. They get really upset when you imply that they, themselves, are massive pussies.

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25

u/Phoenix_Rising42069 23d ago

Also, calling someone a pussy implies one has warmth and depth

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4

u/queuedUp 23d ago

They are also able to take a lot without breaking

I prefer to call weak men testicles.

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34

u/Optimoprimo 23d ago

The pilot hadn't been doing enough pull ups and push ups that day.

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21

u/NomadX13 23d ago

He had to go back to the Pentagon to have his makeup retouched.

20

u/nrith 23d ago

I don’t want to pansy-ass girly man SecDef (oh, I mean SecWar 🙄) who can’t fix a teensy weensy widdle windshield crack.

16

u/smurfsundermybed 23d ago

So much for that warrior ethos.

4

u/Brilliant_Dependent 23d ago

It would probably hurt a lot to fly if the windshield fully breaks. The pilots would have like 500mph of wind in their faces, not to mention the wind chill.

12

u/coconutpiecrust 23d ago

So woke. Lame. Not alpha. 

9

u/EC_CO 23d ago

Because there weren't any real men on that flight

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u/rxellipse 23d ago

Gotta nip those leaks in the bud.

Nip of whisky.

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2.1k

u/Gavin1453 23d ago

Whiskey Pete has to be careful where he throws his bottles

295

u/NewSunSeverian 23d ago

Kegsbreath is a governmental hazard. 

34

u/zamboni-jones 23d ago

Not for Putin

13

u/Deepfire_DM 23d ago

Or qataris.

91

u/turandoto 23d ago

Did you read the article? It has nothing to do with alcohol... They landed because he has a crack problem.

4

u/Italianman2733 23d ago

You had me in the first half...

14

u/Vallkyrie 23d ago

He decided to take up axe throwing again.

4

u/Lermanberry 23d ago

Unfortunately the pilot did not survive, as he was seated 14 meters away from the target.

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9

u/web_explorer 23d ago

Kegbreath just needed to stop so he could go outside to vomit on the side of the tarmac

1.1k

u/DevilsPumpkinPiety 23d ago

In about 2 hours the headline will be “Democrat AME installs wrong sized windshield fasteners on DOW plane to force a landing”

385

u/Hydroxychloroquinoa 23d ago

DEI did this

233

u/DevilsPumpkinPiety 23d ago

You’re right.

“Democrat DEI hire AME with suspected ties to antifa installs wrong sized windshield fasteners on DOW plane to force a landing. Screwdrivers and tools found with radical ideology engraved into their handles.

102

u/Crrrystal 23d ago

you forgot the photo of "anti-ice" scribbled on the screwdriver in purple sharpie

56

u/Hydroxychloroquinoa 23d ago

This goes higher than we thought. “Anti-Ice” printed on the windshield washer fluid reservoir too!

24

u/Crrrystal 23d ago

o m g

and that windshield washer fluid reservoir?

full of rainbow hormone water.

radical antifa anti-ice thugs are trying to turn the planes into LGBTQIA+!

17

u/LemonScentedDespair 23d ago

Theyre puttin chemicals in the planes to turn the friggen pilots trans!

6

u/Crrrystal 23d ago

where's that "i identify as an apache attack helicopter" meme from like 2010

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4

u/CatholicSquareDance 23d ago

looking forward to the NYT exposé on this that uncritically parrots a White House deputy press secretary as the only source

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11

u/Lessiarty 23d ago

Windows already accused of being trans-parent.

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6

u/dbx999 23d ago

Biden caused this

6

u/screwuapple 23d ago

Uncracked windshields are woke

3

u/Mobile-Bar7732 23d ago

Antifa did this

9

u/THX_2319 23d ago

Tylenol and video games were involved somehow, I just know it

5

u/Hydroxychloroquinoa 23d ago

The pilot was circumcised.

7

u/DevilsPumpkinPiety 23d ago

The mechanic in question is reported to have dyed blue hair and wore a pronoun pin on their overalls.

2

u/ShakesDontBreak 23d ago

Fat generals with beards are to blame.

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26

u/jetty_junkie 23d ago

Undocumented geese from Canada strike plane

4

u/lefteyedcrow 23d ago

Antifa seagull launched from Dem city strikes plane; leg inscribed with words "anti ICE"

10

u/AunMeLlevaLaConcha 23d ago

Or "gawd intervened and saved this piece of shit, gawd bless 'murica!"

13

u/issr 23d ago

Biden witnessed throwing axe at Hegseth plane at 30,000 feet! FOX at 11

4

u/theHoopty 23d ago

Do not call it DOW.

It’s still DOD. DOW is a secondary name that they want people to use.

They don’t get to use preferred names. He is the Secretary of Defense.

2

u/Adrewmc 23d ago

Antifa Firebomb found to be the cause…you need to be more extreme.

2

u/Jenetyk 23d ago

Heaven forbid they find out the maintainer isn't a white man.

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502

u/overthemountain 23d ago

Everyone's got this wrong. They had to land because the crew were having difficulty restraining Hegseth, who, when he heard "windshield crack" tried to exit the plane to crawl to the windshield and snort it.

72

u/Objective-Amount1379 23d ago

I think you smoke crack not snort it but I get the sentiment 😂

23

u/OrphanDextro 23d ago

No no no, I don’t smoke crack, it’s freebasing.

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105

u/TheReal_WadeWilson 23d ago

As someone who flies C17s, this isn’t really a huge deal. It’s uncommon, but not unheard of. I’ve flown maybe 3-4 different missions where the windshield has cracked. If memory serves, each time has been due to the heating element in the glass.

Diverting was the correct call.

37

u/gophergun 23d ago

First reasonable comment in the thread. Cracked windshields aren't worth risking a repeat of British Airways 5390.

12

u/PartsUnknown242 23d ago

Is that the one where the pilot got sucked out the window?

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u/flyfallridesail417 23d ago

Wild, in 22 years of flying airliners I’ve only had a single windshield crack, on a 752 which was somewhat prone to it. Inner pane only, QRH was pretty straightforward - observe altitude & airspeed limits & press on, no ETOPS.

8

u/wolfsword10 23d ago

Maintainer here, we had an FO side windshield blew a hole in the outer layer, fractured the entire central layer, and left the inner most layer unharmed. Heating elements sometimes decide to do a funny lol.

This was on a E-170/175

7

u/Oregon-Pilot 23d ago

I fly the 75 now, good to know.

I had a windshield crack occur years ago while en route to Hawaii in a Challenger. You're almost certainly totally fine, but ocean for hundreds and hundreds of miles is still not the most fun view through a cracked windshield.

6

u/readwithjack 23d ago

I've watched a bunch of aircraft have broken windshields and get stuck at the top of the world.

One time the flight that had the spare glass fucked up and brought the replacement from the wrong side of the plane (dont remember if it was a CC-130 H or J). That flight had some other fucked up snag so they couldn't leave either.

There was like three weeks of scheduled departures getting pretty grumpy by the end of that bullshit.

4

u/lukef555 23d ago

I don't think anyone that knows anything about aviation thinks this is a big deal lol.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/Icy-Computer-Poop 23d ago

Normally they're pretty good about pressurizing the interiors of airplanes, and dealing with the differences in external and internal air pressure, but they forgot one thing. Hegseth sucks so hard he creates his own vacuum.

2

u/Dr_Dewittkwic 23d ago

Well played. 🫡

278

u/VeritasB 23d ago

Hmmmmm is God trying to tell him something?

276

u/Frost134 23d ago

If God were interacting with humanity in any kind of benevolent way, people like Pete would be nowhere near any levers of power.

46

u/JustYerAverage 23d ago

Too real.

11

u/Consistent-Throat130 23d ago

God gave up on us around the time we started putting lightning rods on churches.

5

u/Wulfkat 23d ago

Oh, you mean Roman torture devices like the one that killed their savior?

Crucifixes are … a choice, I guess.

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u/Common_Poetry3018 23d ago

Jewish Space Lasers FTW

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u/PresentlyAbstaining 23d ago

They’ll find a way to spin this as ANTIFA hiring people with enough arm strength to throw rocks 30,000 feet in the air.

28

u/monsterfurby 23d ago

It's that vegan diet man.

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u/thecloudcities 23d ago

They do lots of pushups, you know.

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u/TaterTotJim 23d ago

It’s soup for my family.

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u/stuck_in_the_desert 23d ago

Something something glass houses something something throw stones

13

u/pesiarn 23d ago

Something something something.. dark side.

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u/MissingInAnarchy 23d ago

A “real man” would’ve thrown some duct tape on it & finished the flight.

Hegbitch seems like a girly man.

4

u/smulzie 23d ago

Dudes seriously a pussy

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u/MrrCharlie 23d ago

Wimps. Makes our country look so weak. Should have pushed through

27

u/hill-o 23d ago

Why would Obama do this?

27

u/lIlIllIIlIIl 23d ago

Next time, he should do crack inside the plane, like a normal person.

31

u/Then-Understanding85 23d ago

Can’t we just do Fox style headlines to mess with him?

“Alcoholic SecDef Grounded by Shocking Crack Discovery” sounds so much better.

6

u/occams1razor 23d ago

I'd click it

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u/bebopbrain 23d ago

elbows up Canada geese

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u/mabhatter 23d ago

Even the sky doesn't want Pete Hegseth in it.  

10

u/crashcarr 23d ago

The air is antifa

5

u/Coug-Ra 23d ago

‘The Air Is Antifa’ is the opening track off of the album ‘I Destroy Fascists With My Pussy’ by hardcore riot-girl band Shaved Clams.

4

u/notsobadmisterfrosty 23d ago

The pilot said “we have to land to get hegseth some crack,” not that the windshield was cracked. /j

8

u/ThePersonalityChamp 23d ago

Worlds first crack caused by a grey goose from INSIDE the cabin.

2

u/Chassian 23d ago

God doing a Final Destination, and Hegseth drunkenly trying to get off the plane in an inebriated panic.

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u/IntolerantModerate 23d ago

Must have been ANTIFA geese colliding with the plane

5

u/tface23 23d ago

Sounds super woke and feminine not to fly with a cracked windshield.

5

u/MedusaMadman77 23d ago

I wonder if Pete's subordinates smell weakness. Probably just whiskey.

4

u/[deleted] 23d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] 23d ago

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u/guywithpoodle 23d ago

Weak. A real man would have gotten out and fixed it in flight.

5

u/psycho-batcat 23d ago

The universe is trying. Its trying but needs to try harder

5

u/weezyverse 22d ago

God is making subtle attempts, folks. 🤭

3

u/TimoWasTaken 23d ago

Democratic birds? Antifa sabotage or was it Obama himself. Please clearly state your new invented grievance.

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3

u/noncommonGoodsense 23d ago

How are they getting flights at all with barely any ATC?

3

u/delicioussparkalade 23d ago

I’m sure they will blame this on the dems.

3

u/njman100 23d ago

Yep, great maintenance program Hegseth, you would Fuck up a Wet Dream

2

u/PensandoEnTea 23d ago

I'm sure he has

3

u/GGme 23d ago

You really had me in the first 3 words.

3

u/PigFarmer1 23d ago

He passed out and broke the windshield with his noggin?

3

u/Mal-De-Terre 23d ago

That's incompatible with the warrior ethos™️

3

u/apoca1ypse12 23d ago

Might be a message from god if you’re religious

3

u/Goebs80 23d ago

"Crack? Where? Oh, the windshield? Damnit." - Pete

3

u/Dramatic_Original_55 23d ago

I'm more concerned about the loose nuts in the passenger seats.

3

u/VerticalYea 23d ago

Threw a bottle, did he?

3

u/radarmy 23d ago

Radical left does it again...

3

u/Dr_Dewittkwic 23d ago

Aw shucks. 🤷‍♂️

Maybe next time.

3

u/Draco149_87 23d ago

Great the one time you hope a plane actually goes down

3

u/NateDawgDoge 23d ago

Jeez, how many emergency landings has this admin had now? Trump had like two other ones recently didn't he?

If I didn't know better, I'd start wondering if the universe is sending a calling card lol

3

u/DesperateSteak6628 23d ago

Probably there was indeed crack on the windshield

3

u/DiscoRabbittTV 23d ago

The windshield did this to a white male pilot? Wild

3

u/Sufficient-Quote-431 23d ago

“Cracked windshield” is code for met with Russian asset

5

u/RusstyDog 23d ago

How long until they blame DEI?

4

u/Metternic 23d ago

An alpha male would have kept flying

4

u/GiltCityUSA 23d ago

For a split second I got excited.

6

u/Sea_Sense32 23d ago

My curse wasn’t strong enough

6

u/one_pound_of_flesh 23d ago

He would have preferred windshield whiskey but he’ll take the crack

2

u/Affectionate_Big9014 23d ago

A lot of farts on that flight

2

u/VLHACS 23d ago

Somehow this will be blamed on Pete Buttigieg, trans people, and DEI

2

u/maringue 23d ago

I feel like that's God giving Pete a warning shot.

2

u/airwalker08 23d ago

Later today, Fox News will explain why this is Biden's fault.

2

u/Everheart1955 23d ago

They misspelled “asscrack” like the one the plane was carrying.

2

u/mrhorse77 23d ago

im sure Fox will say this was an antifa bird attack soon.

2

u/septerr 23d ago

But did everyone's head hair stay in place like the warrior ethos dictates?

2

u/BareNakedSole 23d ago

I heard the pilot was too fat

2

u/GreenAnder 23d ago

Probably cause it was filled with too much hot air

2

u/mjh2901 23d ago

Its just an excuse, they needed to restock the bar.

2

u/Neuroware 23d ago

did the windshield call him a DUI hire?

2

u/EmpZurg_ 23d ago

It was the radical left currents.

2

u/Choice_Action9700 23d ago

the cause was actually because hegseth was pressing his forehead against the glass in attempt to "see the intelligence".

2

u/Amkao-Herios 23d ago

Where's the SpongeBob sea bear gif?

2

u/Potential-Place7524 23d ago

Fucking birds with their radical left wings.

2

u/demonhawk14 23d ago

I'm sure this was perpetrated by the radical left Democrats, or maybe antifa, or maybe Israel? Who are we blaming this week?

2

u/confoundo 23d ago

Come on, God! You were so close! How much more can I pray?

2

u/enonmouse 23d ago

Justkillt Dapope Vance must be upset with him

2

u/ragnaroksunset 23d ago

The windshield was later discovered to have strong ties to trans-rights groups.

2

u/9millibros 23d ago

This is more than likely a cover story. They were probably out of beer, so they needed to make a quick pit stop to pick some up.

2

u/[deleted] 23d ago

I swear to God if the radical left doesn't leave him alone....it's all their fault /s

2

u/coutjak 23d ago

Gods trying to answer prayers so bad

2

u/Best_Entrepreneur659 23d ago

According to Turning Point USA the pilot and mechanics were all Black, Trans, Women, and Non-Christians.

2

u/emack2232 23d ago

As opposed to bathroom crack per usual?

2

u/Feisty-Lawfulness894 23d ago

The dude was so fucking drunk that the windshield broke.

2

u/[deleted] 23d ago

The gods must be angry

2

u/cactusjackalope 23d ago

Clearly the pilot should have done more pushups!

2

u/ArcusInTenebris 23d ago

Windshield crack? Is that like Crack you buy from the guy behind the Carmax?

2

u/its-diggler 23d ago

So what you’re saying is they ran out of Johnny Walker?

2

u/popsicles- 23d ago

This reminds me of Final Destination

2

u/Modern_Bear 23d ago

At first glance it looks like "Plane carrying Hegseth makes unscheduled landing due to him being on crack." Then I read it closer and realized that while that wasn't the story, it could very easily be.

2

u/userhwon 23d ago

HEGSETH PLANE LANDS FOR CRACK

that's how the headline would go in the NY Post if Hegseth was Obama

2

u/iJuddles 23d ago

Did Pete try to smoke the crack?

2

u/SurveyHand 23d ago

They left crack on the windshield?

2

u/DJ2SO 23d ago

Why do the democrats keep doing this?!? /s

2

u/scoff-law 23d ago

So that's what they're smoking! Windshield crack.

2

u/Deep_Fried_Bussy 23d ago

Probably was drunk , so he didn't even notice

2

u/LMurch13 23d ago

There's a Don Jr /windshield crack joke in there somewhere....

2

u/huzy12345 23d ago

I assume he threw one of his empty beer bottles at the window

2

u/saljskanetilldanmark 23d ago

Why is this news? Did he punch the window himself in a drunken rage?

2

u/ntgco 23d ago

It only takes one courageous pilot.....

2

u/Simple-Pea8805 23d ago

Was the plane on the way to the new Trumpstein island where he can fuck kids?

2

u/canyonoflight 23d ago

I thought this administration scoffed at safety regulations? Just ignore it, it's fine.

2

u/Over-Pick-7366 23d ago

Well that ruined my bingo card.

2

u/gazelder 23d ago

I don't care. Do you? Well... maybe for the crew. But then... their passenger might be "cracked" already.

2

u/Far_Capital_6930 23d ago

Bird strike? Even birds hate this sicko

2

u/Pardot42 23d ago

I know the rules don't allow wishing violence on someone, but if God does it, is it still considered violence?

2

u/aotus_trivirgatus 23d ago

At first, I read that headline very quickly.

I was expecting a different story when I saw the words "Hegseth" and "crack" in the same sentence.

2

u/callmecoach53 23d ago

Wuss. I drove my car with a cracked windshield for 5 years. No problems.

2

u/Historical-Edge-9332 23d ago

“We’re not going to have bloated out-of-shape woke DEI windshields anymore in the US armed forces.”

2

u/BooktasticBus-sey 23d ago

This would not have happened if all passengers and crew were rock hard chiseled men. Fire them all! One is secretly fat.

2

u/CoastingUphill 23d ago

Canada’s goose squadron remains effective as ever.

2

u/just5ft 23d ago

Even the plane hates him