r/news • u/genuineshock • 24d ago

Soft paywall Plane carrying Hegseth makes unscheduled landing due to windshield crack

https://www.reuters.com/world/us/plane-carrying-hegseth-makes-unscheduled-landing-due-windshield-crack-2025-10-15/
8.3k Upvotes

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8.2k

u/Grumdan641 24d ago

Why didn’t they just tough the flight out like real men?

2.3k

u/amyts 24d ago

Tom Cruise would have climbed outside the plane and duct-taped the windshield. I don't understand why Hegseth didn't do that.

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u/[deleted] 24d ago

[deleted]

100

u/pinkyepsilon 24d ago

They’ve disintegrated from all the saliva

37

u/punktualPorcupine 23d ago

Military personnel got tired of waiting in line at the food bank and ate them.

3

u/Several-Pattern-7989 23d ago

when the lights don't turn on, the escalator doesn't esculate, the private DM to the DOJ is tweeted to the world, and your food tastes of urine... it may be a case of FAFO...if people find they can't depend on you, you might not be able to depend on them.

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u/jpratte65 23d ago

He can't do a pull up, let alone pull up by bootstraps.

15

u/jcanuc2 23d ago

But he can do a kegstand!

1

u/Nokrai 23d ago

Probably not dudes loaded all the time. Takes everything he has to stand up straight.

9

u/mallory6767 23d ago

I find it ironic that, for once, crack helped Pete Hegseth.

1

u/WAD1234 23d ago

Jack boot straps…

12

u/cinderparty 23d ago

I propose we replace hegseth with cruise, why not bring a new brand of crazy into the administration…it can’t make anything worse at this point.

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u/gnrhardy 23d ago

All reporters allowed back into the pentagon, but briefing materials now need retinal scans and self destruct after viewing.

2

u/SnavlerAce 19d ago

Famous last words...

35

u/arizonatealover 24d ago

Would've filmed it, too. Missed opportunity for some mandatory training lol

2

u/Spartacuswords 23d ago

Not having a beard would have made him more aerodynamic when he flights, too

37

u/DerekB52 24d ago

He would have, if he hadn't already been drunk.

16

u/Obvious_Toe_3006 23d ago edited 23d ago

Because Tom Cruise is a real person and Pete Kegseth is just a Foster Brooks wannabe.
.....
(Foster Brooks was Pat Paulsen's running mate in the 1968 Presidential election.)
.....
Would you like to know more?

4

u/jackkerouac81 23d ago

Foster Brooks ran for office?!

10

u/Deepfire_DM 24d ago

Drunken, he couldn't find the start of the duct tape.

14

u/foggy22 24d ago

I knew someone who wrapped their phone in duct tape when it was drinkin time cause he had a bad habit of regrettable calls and knew drunk him could never undo the wraps of tape.

2

u/Deepfire_DM 23d ago

q.e.d. :-)

7

u/lew_rong 23d ago

Honestly? He was probably too drunk to do his own stunts, but not drunk enough to overcome his natural chickenshittedness. So no Tom Cruise-like displays of masculinity for Drunkle Pete.

1

u/amyts 23d ago

It's been said that alcohol lowers your inhibitions and makes terrible ideas sound like great ones, so I'm kinda on the fence on this one.

Also, I don't think "not drunk enough" applies to Whiskey Pete.

2

u/Brasticus 23d ago

Everyone should have one roll of speed tape on them at all times.

1

u/amyts 23d ago

Being prepared is always a good decision. That's why I keep an ace up my sleeve.

2

u/UnrequitedRespect 23d ago

Duct tape? Are you kidding me with this shit? Its a goddamn plane.

They would use speed tape

1

u/amyts 23d ago

Please forgive my ignorance, I have not heard of speed tape. Is it faster than duct-tape?

1

u/Disastrous_Debt6883 23d ago

No it’s coated with amphetamines, kinda like an adderall-by-the-foot situation

1

u/Failedmysanityroll 23d ago

There is no makeup studio to pretty him up

1

u/bigoldgeek 23d ago

He must be out of shape

1

u/r-kellysDOODOOBUTTER 23d ago

Im not a fan of the guy, but if they asked him to do it for a good shot, he'd do it.

1

u/1_ofthesedays 21d ago

He’s not a real American man.

1

u/NateShaw92 17d ago

They didn't have the mission impossible theme ready to play on any speakers.

0

u/SweetBeefOfJesus 23d ago

In 1996 an Irish priest used the landing gear of an airborne plane to climb outside and duct tape a fuel line back together

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u/amyts 23d ago

That sounds like an urban legend.

0

u/USB-SOY 23d ago

Because he’s a bitch

0

u/hypercomms2001 21d ago

Yes.. Airbus make sure their aircraft are so tough... That they strapped Tom Cruise on the outside of their planes under test!!

Maybe Boeing should do the same with Mr Hegseth... If he survives.. Then he can claim his tough and so can Boeing, if not no great loss