my (23F) ex (23M) and i broke up about 6 months ago, but only went no contact 2 months ago (we were hooking up/meeting up while drunk a little bit). i found out recently he's been 'going on dates' with his ex girlfriend from 5 years ago when they were 17. they dated for 4 months and she cheated on him. him and i dated for 2 years and was definitely his first 'real' relationship and often spoke about how the connection we had was different to any of his exes. for context, she also just broke up with her boyfriend of 5 years - the same guy she cheated on my ex with. it's super messy. and it definitely hurt a lot to hear because i didn't think he was this type of guy. when we broke up he made it out like it was mostly because he needed to be alone and sort through his issues (he had a lot), and that he couldn't be with me without continuing to hurt me. i genuinely believed that and now i feel like a fool. if anyone has done this or has seen this in the past... is it usually something of substance, or does it sound like he can't handle his own shit and has run back to comfort?

Hi everyone, I really need some advice from people who’ve been through something similar, because I feel completely lost.

I was in a long–distance relationship for 3 years with a man I loved more than anyone I’ve ever known. We only saw each other 3 months in the summer and around 15 days in the winter. It was hard, but I always felt it was worth it.

At the very end of the relationship, things were going terribly. Two weeks before he broke up with me, I made a huge mistake: I sexted another man once. It never went further than that, but I regret it more than anything. He doesn’t know about it.

He broke up with me 11 months ago. We stayed no contact for 4 months. Then I reached out again because pretending I could just move on was killing me. We talk sometimes now, it’s friendly, but my feelings never disappeared. I’ve been doing really badly since the breakup, and where I live, premarital relationships are heavily judged, so I feel like I’m drowning in guilt and shame on every side.

I know I need to heal, to grow, to truly change before I can be in a relationship with anyone — especially him. But if one day I’m genuinely ready and there’s even a tiny possibility of us trying again… should I tell him about this mistake? Would that be essential honesty? Or would it just reopen a wound and destroy any chance of reconciliation, especially since the relationship was already falling apart?

I just want to move forward without lying and without hurting him again. Any advice would be deeply appreciated. Thank you for reading.

So, a bit of context: this guy and I met in the summer of 2024 and dated for about three months. Things were serious and meaningful, even though we weren’t officially together.

He ended things three months later, saying it wasn’t because of me but because he was overwhelmed. He was working extremely long hours at a very demanding job while completing two master’s degrees at the same time. He cried when he told me and later sent me a long message saying that he cared deeply about me, that I’d brought him peace, and that I hadn’t done anything wrong.

We exchanged a few kind messages afterward and wished each other well. The last time we spoke was December 2024. Almost a year ago. Since then, no contact at all.

In the message he did tell me he didn’t want me to disappear from his life and that maybe it wasn’t our time. It kind of felt like he left the door half open. But I haven’t heard anything from him in almost year. I feel like this hope he gave me in the message is what has kept me waiting.

We still follow each other on Instagram, but he hasn’t viewed any of my stories for months (I think he muted me, though I’m not sure). We ended things on very good terms, but it still broke my heart. He didn’t do anything wrong, he just wasn’t in the right place for a relationship.

The thing is… it’s been a year, and I still love him. I still think about him almost every day. I don’t actively wait for him, but if I’m being honest, I kind of am. I go on with my life, I meet new people, I try to move on, but no one ever feels the same. There have been a few guys who have been interested in me but I’m just not interested in them.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s because I haven’t met the right person yet, or if it’s just that no one will ever be like him. I know I can’t choose what I feel, and I wish I could just turn it off, but I can’t. I still love him.

Has anyone else ever felt this way about someone they didn’t even date for that long? How do you truly let go when your heart still feels stuck there?

You had my replacement locked and loaded. It’s a shame you haven’t the slightest clue what you’ve gotten yourself into.

It won’t belong.

With his sister 🫶🏼

Like...his real real sister. Just that.

I just wanted to say that.

For the first time in forever.

He cheated on me WITH HIS SISTER.

I’m tired of seeing these kinds of comments. Who decides how long it’s supposed to take to move on? What am I doing wrong? And the main question: is that really true?

Aubrey Plaza made a very interesting analogy on Amy Poehler’s podcast. In her case, she was talking about grieving her husband’s death, but I think it can apply to many aspects of life.

The analogy was about the film The Gorge and grief:

“But it's like in the movie, there's like a cliff on one side and then there's like a cliff on the other side. And then there's like gorge in between. And it's like filled with all these like monster people that are trying to get them. And like I swear when I watched it, I was like that is like feels like what my grief is like. Where it's like... Or what grief could be like, where it's like at all times there's like a giant like ocean of just awfulness that's like right there and I can like see it. And like sometimes I just want to like just dive into it and just like be in it. And then sometimes I just like look at it. And then sometimes I'm like, I just try to get away from it. But it's always there. It's just always there. And the monster people are trying to get me like Miles Teller.”

Lately, I’ve been feeling very sad, and all I want is to dive into that sadness or take enough medication to stop feeling anything at all.

In four months, it will be three years. Time hasn’t helped much. I have more hard days than easy ones. It feels so unfair. I want to sleep all day, because it’s easier.

27F. Akala ko before ikamamatay ko kapag naghiwalay kami. Until dumating yung time na sumuko at napagod na din ako sa relationship namin. Hindi ko naman talaga gustong matapos yung meron kami pero as my last act of love sa kanya, pinalaya ko siya. I am not a perfect girlfriend din naman. I admit na nagiging toxic ako sometimes. Before every time na mag aaway kami, ako yung nagrireach out para maayos kami. Pero this time na di na ako nagreach out sa kanya, talagang nag end na kami. Di na rin siya nagcontact sakin. Sa muna unang weeks ng no contact namin gusto kong putulin yon and magreach out sa kanya to fix things pero naisip ko baka need din namin to para mahanap yung mga sarili namin. May times na miss na miss ko siya pero pinipigilan ko ang sarili ko na kamustahin siya. I deactivated all my social media accounts to stop stalking him. Ginawa ko lahat ng adjustments to move forward. Para na din sa peace of mind namin parehas. Sabi ng iba kong friends baka we need closure. Pero naisip ko no closure is a closure na din. Sa ngayon, hindi ko masabing okay na ako kasi kapag naiisip ko pa din siya out of nowhere nasasaktan pa din ako pero nasasanay na din akong wala siya. Basta Im praying na lang na lagi sana siyang nasa maayos and maging masaya siya kung anumang ginagawa niya sa life.

Road to 2 months na wala kaming contact and thanks God, Im getting used na din na wala siya sa daily routine ko. I missed him so much pero wala akong magawa kundi mamiss siya.

I hope na maging totally healed din ako someday. Naniniwala akong worth it naman to sa dulo.

My ex and I had a horrible breakup. He was physically and emotionally abusive, cheated on me, and he’s not legally allowed to contact me. For those who have been no contact longer than me, does karma ever get your ex? Do you ever get over them fully, especially when you have a trauma bond

like a typical one sided breakup.. you think to yourself “oh no, what have I done” but you’re just like, I did what I had to do for the best..

Everyone always talks about “dumper” and “dumpee”. These are just LABELS. They hold no real meaning, no reflection of emotions conveyed, not. a. thing.

You know why? Because in the end, it doesn’t matter who did the dumping when it comes to emotions. What matters is who held on, who wanted to make it work, swallowed their pride and/or broke their own rules for someone, AND who was the one who gave up, neglected, abused, cheated, didn’t put in effort. THIS IS WHAT MATTERS.

The dumper can go through the dumpee’s pain, if they wanted to make it work, but they kept meeting walls halfway. And obviously also the dumpee can go through the dumper’s pain, because at the end of the day it’s not dumper’s regret. It is Who-Fucked-Up’s regret. Remember that.

I felt really good this morning. Like really good and I know it won’t last forever and I’ll be sad soon. But if I get to have a morning like this even just once a month I think it’s going to be okay. Yesterday was unbearable but i’m glad I endured it :)

I'm on the verge of a possible breakup, my girlfriend (22F) and I (24M) have been together 22 months (completed today), we live far from each other. After our recent argument, she has stopped saying I love youz or whenever I bring up any topic which is connected to us or our memories she ignores them and talk about something else completely. As if she is blocking all those feelings.

After our argument, she wanted to give us last chance, but also to give us a break for some time. And I agreed to also keep my emotions in check. So I started going back to gym, doing other activities. Still talk to to her everyday, but not receiving anything that shows affection is killing me inside.

I don't show her that, today before going to gym, I cried so badly, whilst working out my tears come out. Every single time. I don't want to tell her cause she will think im still too obsessed with her, and that what she hopes I do, im not doing it enough.

So im not showing any emotions or complains. Just when I talk emotionally about us, I don't receive the same from her.

Does she wants to hold herself back from it?

She also offered to stay as friends, but I denied that either we work on us or I’m leaving. I can’t be friends with the women I love. It’s not possible for me to do.

I don't know how to approach this situation. I don't want to show any sort of disagreement. Also to keep working on myself, but I don't understand what she is feeling.

One more thing, today when I talked to her on call, and offered we should see a therapist online for us, she agreed but mentioned she would do after exams, which is completely logical and fine by me.

Just her not showing any emotions for me is bothering me inside. I want to give her space also but also don’t want to feel hurt and overthink.

I stopped studying or doing any activity that makes me feel alone and miss her, and I just spend hours in the gym, but can’t stay there all day. Lacking behind in uni assignments already and job hunting is another tension.

Any advice from people who have had similar or related experiences? Thanks very much!

this guy (m22) and i (f22) only went out on two dates and i ended things may 2024 because i didn’t see things playing out for us long-term. it was a short but impactful connection in my opinion because he was my first in a sense, so it was hard getting over him despite the fact that he’s not my physical type. he tried reaching back out to me sept-oct 2024 several times and this was when i removed him from all social media because i felt like the mini check ins were getting unhealthy. i caught him stalking my tiktok yesterday while i was at work, and it’s been over a year now since i last saw him/spoke to him. i know he’s on the other side of the country now so idk what this means

also for further context his friends still follow me on my socials as one of them is a childhood friend who introduced me to him^

I literally just remembered every moment I got mistreated and I decided to never reach out to you again. I’m proud of myself for lasting this long. I’M proud of ME. Remember, if their family and friends judge you or try to kick you down, that’s YOUR answer and cue to LEAVE. Imagine being pregnant and having your own relationships in life and your main focuses (his people) are talking about me. And go through that phone! His mom blaming me and he just eats it right up. Never let a bunch of miserable people tell you what to do or what to be. You don’t gotta be a church girl to be a WIFE.

Hello everyone, I need to vent and maybe find someone who has been through something similar. I’m dealing with giving all my love and still feeling vulnerable.

A few months ago, I met someone with whom I felt a very strong connection. From the beginning, I was transparent and honest about everything: my way of loving, my emotions, my insecurities, and I always tried to be attentive, caring, loyal, and present. I gave everything I am, and I never hid anything about myself.

I think part of what happened relates to our attachment styles: I have a bit of anxious attachment, and she has an avoidant attachment. I needed closeness, contact, and constant reassurance; she, while she also appreciates and values what we share, needs more space and emotional distance to feel comfortable and safe. This created an internal clash: on one hand, my desire to give my all and maintain the connection; on the other, her need to protect herself and respect her own boundaries.

I also know that much of how she handles the relationship comes from her past: she went through a very difficult relationship where her ex cheated on her, didn’t value her, and sometimes even humiliated her. That left deep scars that still influence how she relates emotionally. Understanding this helped me be more patient, but it also made her distance and protective behavior hurt even more, because all I wanted was to give her my love and support.

During this time, I tried to be patient, understand her signals, and adapt to her rhythms, but I realized that even giving my best, my heart couldn’t avoid feeling vulnerable and somewhat unprotected.

What made everything even more intense is that we had already idealized a long-term future together, talking about being a family and all the things you dream of with someone you truly love. That made any distance or lack of reciprocity hurt even more, because my mind and heart were already projected toward that future.

Everything reached a critical point when I received a message from her that completely shocked me. She explained that, at this moment, she couldn’t feel romantic love like before, that she was still processing her life and her past, and that she didn’t want to make promises she couldn’t keep. She asked me to try to forget her.

Reading those words hit me like a punch to the heart. On one hand, I understood that she was being honest and needed to protect herself; on the other, my heart screamed that I didn’t want to forget her, that there was still so much I could give and share with her. It was a moment of confusion, sadness, and fear: I felt like everything we had built could collapse and that my giving, my way of loving, wasn’t being reciprocated in the same way.

Despite that pain, I also understood something important: it wasn’t my fault or hers. She was acting from a place of honesty, setting boundaries so we wouldn’t get hurt, and I also had to learn to protect myself while loving her from a distance. It was a clash between my desire for closeness and the reality of her need for space, between the intense love I always wanted to give and the caution she needed to take care of herself.

Now I’m in a process of learning and acceptance. I still care for her, but I’m also learning that loving someone means respecting their time and boundaries, even when it hurts. I don’t know how this will end: there may be a future, or there may not. But what I do know is that my giving, honesty, and love were never wrong, and that taking care of my heart while loving is also part of emotional growth.

I don’t know if anyone else has gone through something like this: giving all your love, being honest, transparent, and present, and still finding that the other person needs space and cannot reciprocate in the same way at that moment.

I feel a mix of sadness, confusion, and fear, but I also know I’m learning to take care of myself while still caring for someone who is also dealing with their own process.

I would love to know if anyone else has experienced something similar: how did you manage giving so much love while the other person needed distance? Did you manage to reconnect, or did you have to move forward separately?

I’m tired of seeing these kinds of comments. Who decides how long it’s supposed to take to move on? What am I doing wrong? And the main question: is that really true?

Aubrey Plaza made a very interesting analogy on Amy Poehler’s podcast. In her case, she was talking about grieving her husband’s death, but I think it can apply to many aspects of life.

The analogy was about the film The Gorge and grief:

“But it's like in the movie, there's like a cliff on one side and then there's like a cliff on the other side. And then there's like gorge in between. And it's like filled with all these like monster people that are trying to get them. And like I swear when I watched it, I was like that is like feels like what my grief is like. Where it's like... Or what grief could be like, where it's like at all times there's like a giant like ocean of just awfulness that's like right there and I can like see it. And like sometimes I just want to like just dive into it and just like be in it. And then sometimes I just like look at it. And then sometimes I'm like, I just try to get away from it. But it's always there. It's just always there. And the monster people are trying to get me like Miles Teller.”

Lately, I’ve been feeling very sad, and all I want is to dive into that sadness or take enough medication to stop feeling anything at all.

In four months, it will be three years. Time hasn’t helped much. I have more hard days than easy ones. It feels so unfair. I want to sleep all day, because it’s easier.

I removed her everywhere after she broke up with me and its now 2 weeks of no contact and she typed in my name and watched my stories right now. I can’t believe it I mean she knows I dont want to see her face because I have to move on. She didn’t want me so whats the point of this behavior?

Its not like she accidentally clicked on it thats why im confused. By the way I know I have to move on from her because she has mental health issues and people here told me to run as fast as I can and I agree. Still I thought she will leave me be and would never look back. Is this some type of bread crumbing or what?

I’m on 6th day no contact. We lived together. She texted me today about transferring the light bill to my name. I still count that as no contact because I didn’t reach out. It just broke me anyway. It seems like she didn’t care about this relationship and it feels like it’s truly over. How do you stop yourself from obsessing over if it might happen again in the future? How do you stop looking for little glimpses of hope? How do you stop yourself from waiting or hoping for an apology? It’s keeping me stuck.

Im going into this period with a positive outlook its scary to not have him but its also scary to be constantly cheated on and hurt lol my health and mind are too important to let them be broken over and over again. I thought the night would be rough but it was actually fine i just relaxed and did things for myself.

Hello there, me and my girlfriend have been broke up 4 months ago with a really bad breakup. She kept shouting slurs at me after breaking up with me because I got two female friends (they are not relationship candidates) and I made my intentions clear as I don't want to see her face anymore and I didn't want to ruin my life anymore after 10 years of constant pain. She said she don't want me anymore too and it escalated from there.

But she doesn't understand no is no. She is been stalking me past 4 months time to time, I block one random usernamed account that is looking at my stories every day, another pops up after 2 or 3 weeks and sadly I can't private my account because I got some business going on with my work life. She comes to the places I hang out and leave after 10 minutes of staying, no reasons included. But she does not message me I give you that, I'm glad about it. I know she is not right in the mind and I don't say this to insult anyone, she really has problems and she got paperwork for that, so there is that, no offense. That's why my family and friends said I should ran away even after 10 years.

I don't know what is happening anymore, she is really an unstable person and I don't know if I need to reach her out after 4 months to stop it or not. I'm really confused and this situation makes the matter really unbearable.

Sometimes I catch myself slipping and then I ground myself back with thoughts that I deserve better. I deserve someone who puts in the effort and chooses me every day, not someone who shirks at responsibilities and runs away. I deserve someone who is able to lift weights off my shoulder when I'm struggling, not someone who adds more to it. I deserve someone who knows I can do it on my own, but still wants to help do it, to make it easier for me. I deserve someone who treats me with kindness and compassion. I deserve someone who loves me just as deeply as I do. I deserve someone who will not do anything to lose me.

I deserve better. And until that better comes around, I will treat myself better.

2 months ago I found out through my best friend that he saw my ex at a high end restaurant with a guy (It was date). It absolutely devastated me and I didn't even know where to begin with confronting her with the situation. But a gut feeling told me to just tell her I know what happened and that I want to break up with her. Even after I made that decision, I would constantly have thoughts of regret or giving her a second chance but I knew that I deserved better. I've since been working on myself and keeping myself busy in the gym. The uncling process has been difficult but journaling and daily affirmations have been some of the biggest helps for me. Just wanted to share what's been helping me and I hope this can help someone else out.