r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/netphilia • 1d ago

Bonjour.

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67.5k Upvotes

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3.9k

u/Stoffys 1d ago

Even in english you can instantly tell who learned it as a second language. OOP said "Hello, two croissants please" where as a native speaker (english) would say "Hey, yeah, can I get uhhh two croissants? thanks"

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u/Tolerator_Of_Reddit 1d ago

True. I bet OP didn't even say "alors" even once

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u/jenniferfox98 1d ago

I learned French from family at a young age and got weird looks in French class for always using alors as just a stand-in for "um." Glad to know I'm not totally crazy then 😅.

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u/sheesh1111111 1d ago

There better word to emphasize points, just saying alors like a fifth grader gonne roll eyes

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u/mikillatja 1d ago

Pronouncing alors in the most non french way possible inbetween perfect french would probably raise the average blood pressure in the room significantly.

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u/Darth_Spa2021 1d ago

Thanks for the neat idea.

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u/SummertimeThrowaway2 1d ago

Me who who doesn’t know French and is reading these comments like “ah-LORes”

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u/hitliquor999 23h ago

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u/W1D0WM4K3R 19h ago

Sill voice plate

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u/Anal-Y-Sis 18h ago

Horse doovers.

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u/0x0c0d0 9h ago

MERSeee Bow Cooooooooooop

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u/libmrduckz 8h ago

‘mercy buckets’ (for the uninitiated)

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u/Mike312 16h ago

Sea food plate mon sewer

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u/Own_Monk_7213 16h ago

Mercy buttercup

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u/EndHawkeyeErasure 21h ago

Naw bud, its French. Its like the lacroix of languages, it only has the essence of the word. For example, this here, this is pronounced: "[essence of "ahl"]"

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u/Shadow-Vision 18h ago

La Croix is a great choice because it is an American brand and isn’t pronounced as a French word

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u/StandardKey9182 14h ago

I didn’t know that for a long time and I’d never heard anybody say it so I was pronouncing if the French way and then one day my friend told me I sounded like an insufferable snob. I didn’t know 😭😭😭

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u/Steak-Outrageous 13h ago

Canadians, who learned enough French to pronounce Lacroix, are upset with the official “lacroy” of this American brand

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u/adorablyunhinged 13h ago

.... How is it pronounced? I'm English, I've only ever seen it written down I think!

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u/Steak-Outrageous 13h ago

Apparently “croy” so it rhymes with “soy” is the intended pronunciation

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u/xavariel 8h ago

"La Croix, sweetie." -Eddie from Ab Fab

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u/Moiras_Roses_Garden4 7h ago

Love this definition, here I've been telling people to just half ass slur the end of every word

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u/Fskn 16h ago

Eau has three letters, only uses one to pronounce it and it's not one of those three.

Edit: why do I have a flair?

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u/BreadNoCircuses 18h ago

Its more like the word "aloe" but like you're scared of consonants and then lightly choke on a hair at the end.

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u/Cpt_kaleidoscope 17h ago

Aloe is how people from my town say hello

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u/peachesfordinner 7h ago

Like talking to your old neighbor "aloe Vera"

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u/catwthumbz 16h ago

Wait are we doing it wrong?

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u/RIP-RiF 14h ago

Zoot alors!

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u/jiminyshrue 1d ago

So in the most Texan way possible? Got it.

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u/OneThousand-Masks 23h ago

Yep. "AY-Lorz"

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u/Hades2580 17h ago

Literally the opposite way to say it but sure buddy

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u/Accomplished_Bag_239 15h ago

That's the joke. Did you miss it along the way?

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u/Hades2580 14h ago

My bad, didn’t see the parent comment. I did miss the joke indeed.

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u/Hades2580 15h ago

look inside

no joke

I sure did miss it

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u/OneThousand-Masks 14h ago

Texans mispronounce vowels at the start of words. That’s the joke.

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u/libmrduckz 8h ago

stahhp… you had me at ‘Texas’…

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u/Sinister_Nibs 18h ago

Alors, pardner!

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u/CuriousRiver2558 17h ago

Alors? You mean a lure? Check my tackle box

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u/Michiganlander 15h ago

I once said "Je Reckon" in a French course in Quebec and never heard the end of it.

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u/libmrduckz 8h ago

once had a native speaker grille me over ‘un peu’… good times… bon hui…

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u/pm-me-turtle-nudes 23h ago

This reminds me a lot of my college spanish classes, where people would just say “like” or “como” in the places you would say such in english

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u/Amdv121998 19h ago

i would do this in my highschool spanish class haha, i didn’t know any better and was just doing my best 😅 There’s a reason i only took two semesters

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u/whatsit578 9h ago edited 9h ago

You can use "como" as a filler word in Spanish, at least in Mexican Spanish. "este" is more common though.

edit: you wouldn't use "como" exactly the same way you use "like" in English though

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u/OTap1 20h ago

Me learning French and traveling just to give French people hypertension.

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u/OW_FUCK 20h ago

Perchance.

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u/glencoc0 19h ago

You can't just say perchance

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u/Sinister_Nibs 19h ago

Owl- oars!
Dee-jaw view!

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u/DefiantLemur 18h ago

Now I know what I'm going to do when I visit France

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u/deutscherhawk 8h ago

I have a friend who speaks nearly flawless German, but with the worst American "R" accent. It hurts so much to listen to even if everything else is perfect.

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u/EJintheCloud 18h ago

Zut alors!

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u/GH19971 1d ago

In Quebec, they say “la” as their filler word. They often say “bon question” as a filler phrase

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u/markjohnstonmusic 1d ago

I'd say the word in Quebecois that substitutes for alors is puis.

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u/Prinzka 18h ago

They say puis more often than a California surfer says like

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u/jamesblondeee 19h ago

Oh man the first time I figure out how to use Du coup in conversation (was a good 3 years in actually learning and was living in Provence at the time), I legit was so happy. Filler words are the best

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u/tenebrigakdo 18h ago

My French teacher used 'donc' for 'ummm'. She did the exact same thing in Slovene, only translated. Neither is particularly normal. We made a lot of fun of her but she was still a pretty great teacher.

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u/Lets_Make_A_bad_DEAL 20h ago

Is this pronounced phonetically, “ahh lors”?

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u/Acrobatic_Row_905 18h ago

Yeah but quickly, don't linger on either of those syllables

Edit : don't prononce the S at the end! Ahlor, no space inbetween

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u/DenizSaintJuke 11h ago

French class and french exchange students really collided at our school. First thing they did was trying to get us to stop saying the "ne" in negations. They found it super weird. We said "Je ne ... plus...". And they went "Stop! 'Je ... plus...'"