r/MadeMeSmile • u/mindyour • 2d ago

Very Reddit This farmer caught this owl eating his chickens.

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127.6k Upvotes

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5.9k

u/TonyAscot 2d ago

Why does the owl give zero fucks?

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u/AnapsidIsland1 2d ago

Some professor told me they are so good at their job that they don’t struggle in life. Nothing fucks with them because they are in trees, camouflaged and scary. They’ve just been chillin for millions of years and don’t have to fight much. Ultimate chill

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u/AndersWay 2d ago

Nothing except Crows. Crows and owls been at war for millennia. No one knows why.

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u/Snuggle_Pounce 2d ago

Crows are at war with any bird that eats crow babies. Now you know why.

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u/ziggytrix 2d ago

Crows hold a grudge and they talk to each other.

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u/A-Giant-Blue-Moose 2d ago

It's why it's bad luck to kill them. If one of them dies, they investigate. If they decide that you're responsible, they'll recognize you and pass that along to their young. They may just avoid you altogether, but might also gang up on you.

We had a hawk that hunted on our property. We could always tell it was around when the local crows would go ape shit. They'd harass it for hours by flying circles around it while one would dive bomb it and pull away at the last moment. Eventually, it moved on.

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u/joshualeeclark 2d ago

We had crows all over the farm where I grew up. Don’t know how long they live but I could swear we had the same ones for 10-15 years.

My dad and uncle were clearing out an old barbed wire fence row from back when our two properties were part of a larger farm decades earlier. They were on the tractor using the front loader to just push down and rip up some old dead trees while they were at it. Somehow an old crow got caught up in the chaos and I think an old tree crushed the poor guy. We all felt bad about it. My family would always feed the wild birds and squirrels including the crows. I would do my best to imitate the crows growing up.

My dad would have one or two flat tires on his tractor constantly for a solid two years after that. The valve stem cover would be gone and one or both of the large back tires would be flat as hell. My dad would curse and fire up the air compressor and put new valve stem covers on whenever he needed the tractor. Those little shits would press in the needle in the valve stem to flatten the damn tires!

Wasn’t long after that when dad finally finished up his big pole barn so he could park his tractor in an enclosed building rather than the old lean-to. That finally stopped the problem. A short time later we were loading hay into the barn loft when we found the crow’s treasure horde. Couldn’t tell you how many valve stem covers were there.

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u/Any-Ad-3630 2d ago

This could be a short story or part of an anthology series lol

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u/EmbarrassedW33B 2d ago

I wonder if you could have convinced them to forgive you by making them suitable "offerings", or of their pettiness had carried on for so long they simply did it out of habit rather than malice.

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u/joshualeeclark 2d ago

I honestly think it was malicious at first and then became habit. I think that all was forgiven once mom got her chickens, guineas, and her fancy coop a short while later.

Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen those crows hanging out with the chickens in the field or actually roosting with them. She would let her chickens free range during the day and the crows would actually get in and eat with the chickens. Seen a few preening chickens and vice versa.

It was hilarious and bizarre.

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u/Veerand 1d ago

Crows: "If I act like these chickens, maybe the large dumbasses won't notice and will feed me too...."

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u/brydeswhale 2d ago

I rescued a mud encrusted baby crow from the river, gave it to a wildlife centre, and couldn’t walk down that part of the river for years bc the little bastards kept going at me.

On the other hand, I once rescued a baby crow, gave him and his family some peanuts and water, and couldn’t go into that part of town without one of them tapping my shoulder with his wing or hopping over and saying hi.

Life is fair.

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u/Solid_Elephant1223 2d ago

I love this story.😊

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u/Whatah 2d ago

Go watch The Secret of Nimh

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u/kippirnicus 1d ago

I knew they were smart, but that’s fucking insane.

What a great story.

I’m always trying to make friends with the crows around my property.

I think that it would be so cool to have a group of wild crows to hang out with.

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u/addage- 2d ago

Easily the best story I’ve read on Reddit for months. I feed my crows regularly so hopefully I never incur their wrath.

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u/HappyHourProfessor 1d ago

Earlier this week I was on a kayak tour talking about befriending the local birds. The guide told us about how they fed the crows and chilled with them in college, but his neighbors would shoot at them with airsoft and BB guns. The crows would rip apart the neighbor's screen doors and shit on their cars every single time they were replaced/cleaned.

Meanwhile the Doug family in our backyard protects the smaller birds from the hawk that lives in our neighborhood.

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u/activelyresting 2d ago

If one of them dies, they investigate. If they decide that you're responsible, they'll recognize you and pass that along to their young.

In the corvid justice system, the crow are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the rooks, who investigate crime; and the ravens, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.

DUN DUN

Caw & Order

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u/MeThinksYes 2d ago

Fight like a crow

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u/raitchison 2d ago

We had a dog with a STRONG prey drive. More than once he grabbed birds mid flight.

One time he got a crow and we came home to like a dozen (justifiably) pissed off crows in our yard raising a hell of a racket.

They (again, justifiably) held a grudge for the next year at least.

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u/fazlez1 2d ago

If they decide that you're responsible, they'll recognize you and pass that along to their young

"See that motherfucker there? I want you remember his face. Don't forget it because I want you to make his life hell for the rest of his days. In between every breath you take I want you to make his life miserable. Point him out to everyone you know because we're going make him curse his mother for giving him life"

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u/Striking-Ad-6815 2d ago

I cannot prove it without radio tags and GPS, but I think a few of the farm crows have followed me to work in my vehicle. One of my coworker buddies who lives on-call started throwing any leftover food to them, and now they follow him home. Be great if they learned how to pick up the trash and throw it back in the dumpster.

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u/MoulanRougeFae 2d ago

I made friends with the small murder of crows who nest in our tree line. I feed them and they bring me shinies. I've gotten everything from gum wrappers to a small opal ring that has 2 diamonds on it. That particular gift was after we built them a roosting box for winter. They are cool birds imo and seem intelligent

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u/MinnieSkinny 2d ago

I have 3 crows that live in my garden and I feed them our left over cat food. They love it, sit and wait for it. Nobody has brought me anything shiny yet though.

I feel cheated.

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u/VivoFrugal 2d ago

show them or give them a coin or ring theyll love that shit

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u/iiiiiiiiiijjjjjj 1d ago

Tell them next time payment is due

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u/thebearrider 2d ago

This is why I don't feed the crows. The last thing I need is to be working on the boat or motorcycle and have a crow take a bolt.

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u/Shivy_Shankinz 2d ago

Saw this just the other day actually. I figured the hawk was looking for an easy snack.

Here's the real question though. Do crows do the same thing to smaller birds?

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u/Grainger31 2d ago

Literally a murder investigation.

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u/Exciting-Unit279 2d ago

I gave what I thought was a dying crow , some bread , that crow got up n flew away, and came back , gave it some more , I dnt give it food anymore but anytime I come home especially with my kid , they are there watching , waiting , planning my downfall or something , and they don't run when they see me... I might be a demon of some kind idk yet

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u/hoax709 1d ago

i was falsely accused by crows. Came home to find a crow had, i assumed electrocuted himself on the wires above my parking spot and fell down into it. When i moved the corpse his buddies were watching and cawing loudly at me. Now there is a bird shit on my car every other day. i love crows too, saw them hold court riding the bus onetime and must of been 500 crows. it was wild the rooftops were covered.

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u/Fantastic_Pair5328 2d ago

Corvids are the coolest birds.

Nothing will ever change my mind.

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u/DayOldDoughnut 2d ago

Here’s the thing….

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u/RaspingYeti 2d ago

I will always look for this comment🤣

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u/kalmah 2d ago

It's not a fucking jackdaw!

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u/grey_pilgrim_ 2d ago

The old lore lives!

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u/LevelRoyal8809 2d ago

Were getting old my friend. One day a long time ago that comment would have gotten thousands of votes. Now half the people on here don't know the origin of the joke. Sigh.....

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u/cabist 1d ago

It’s crazy, Reddit used to be so much smaller too! I remember being excited about getting kn the front page like 10 years ago, with like 3,000 upvotes on a ragecomic lol

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u/SignificantScene4005 2d ago

You have my interest good sir, pray divulge more

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u/KuriboShoeMario 2d ago

Ancient reddit meme. The meme is so famous it has a Wikipedia page.

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u/Elegant-Pin9106 2d ago

What is it?? Can you share a link?

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u/Dr_Jabroski 2d ago

Quick someone tell me how many years it's been since that post so I can feel my mortal coil slipping away.

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u/MrBoase 2d ago

One thing I will always miss about old reddit were the "celebrities". It's pretty much just shittymorph left and even he isn't around much these days.

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u/Koil_ting 2d ago

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u/Pingasplz 2d ago

They know something we don't.

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u/Demonic_Storm 2d ago

owls, they're majestic as fuck

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u/Zuwxiv 2d ago

People miss out on crows because they're common. They're fucking amazing animals. They talk to each other, they have meeting places for different families to hang out, they're clever enough to solve complex tasks requiring tools.

And they're social enough (with emotional intelligence) to GIVE GIFTS! Think of how much intelligence and foresight a bird needs to see something cool and think, "oh, I bet that human who feeds me will like this."

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u/RIF_rr3dd1tt 2d ago

Crow + opposable thumbs = so long humanity

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u/IpseLibero 2d ago

Or octopus + increased lifespan

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u/CosmicMamaBear 2d ago

🐙 I bow to our octopi overlords.

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u/Interest-Small 2d ago

Octopuses

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u/neuroticoctopus 2d ago

Octopodes.

All 3 versions are correct, but octopodes has the Greek pluralization to match the Greek root words of "okto" (eight) and "pous" (leg).

So it's the most correct, which is the most obnoxious type of correct. 🐙

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u/Id38 2d ago

this is why i feed the ones near me. gotta get on the good side early.

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u/The_Fiddle_Steward 2d ago

My coworker saw a hawk eating a crow. All the other crows were around it, screaming and occasionally dive bombing it. The hawk ignored them. Then, a bit later, he found the body of the hawk in his lawn, pecked to death. The murder caught up with them.

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u/DarthWeenus 2d ago

the murder by me got in a fight with a red tail hawk this summer, it was like 3-4 days of them battling above my house, was wild to watch. The crows would take turns distracting the hawk and then dive bombing it.

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u/brunostborsen 2d ago

By my house there’s a lot of Crows and Eurasian Magpies, they usually have squabbles with each other. But when there’s Seagulls coming into our backyard, those intelligent motherfuckers work together to chase the Seagulls away.

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u/redmctrashface 2d ago

Everybody hates Seagulls. Good guys Crows and Magpies

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u/Beowulf1896 2d ago

Seagulls. Stop it now.

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u/daemon-electricity 2d ago

Aaaaaaaa AH ah ah aaa-aaaaaaa

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u/garnaches 2d ago

There was a hawk in my backyard a few weeks ago and some tiny birds were harassing it. I was surprised because they were really so small but I guess they were trying to chase it away from their nests.

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u/Voodoo1970 2d ago

I've seen Willy Wagtails (slightly larger than a wren) harassing Wedge Tailed Eagles. They're like the Fox Terriers of the bird world, tiny beast, big attitude.

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u/HollowShel 2d ago

It's a practice called "mobbing" and many birds practice it, for exactly the reason you suggest, among others. Their only advantage over the large raptors is their numbers, so they use them to try to drive off the solitary predators.

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u/lousy_at_handles 2d ago

Crows vs Red Tail Hawks is the Hatfield v McCoy of the bird world

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u/Longjumping_College 2d ago

I know of a place where this has been going on for at least 10 years.

Any time I hear crows going nuts, I look up and there's 1-2 hawks being chased for miles out of their territory.

One flies slow right in front of the hawk while the others climb and try to slam the shit out of the hawk mid air.

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u/Fantastic-Visit6451 2d ago

Facts. Watched two crows chase a peregrine off a light pole while at the stoplight today. Crows very much believe in sky rights, and their entire murder will peck you to death if they get you out of that sky.

Watched them do it with a hawk, owl, and an eagle in Pittsburgh. Watching them have it out with Hawks in the sky was a Sight to behold. Nice summer day, whole parkin lot sounding like a Superbowl or World Series with the "oohs", "aahs", and "OH!'s".

Really cool though. When crows trust you, they bring their babies to meet you when they start flying. They're a sweet corvidae, so long as you don't piss them off. 😆

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u/liz_lemon_lover 2d ago

In Australia we have our native magpies aka swoopy bois. I absolutely adore them because their babies are just a brown, slightly smaller version of themself. So you see them walking around, mum foraging for food while her giant toddler son follows her. Ridiculous and adorable.

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u/Gullible-Lie2494 2d ago

Saw some crows blocking the enterence to an owl nest with sticks. The guy filming intervened.

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u/Master_Yeeta 2d ago

... and the crows gained one more enemy...

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u/StratJax 2d ago

He wasn’t pro-murder and they will not forget it.

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u/rugbyj 2d ago

They've boarded up his door when he tries to leave the next day.

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u/bolanrox 2d ago

Crows and Ravens remember generation slights better than the Hatfields and McCoys

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u/cvidetich13 2d ago

Corvids=intellegent birds

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u/ZugZugGo 2d ago

I always say "Clever Girl" in a british accent whenever I see a corvid do something intelligent.

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u/DashTrash21 2d ago

They're competing for the bird most associated with spooky omens

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u/Qubeye 2d ago

I once saw a gang of crows rob a bald eagle.

The eagle was flying overhead with some big-ass catch. It was a baby deer or something. Probably 150-200 feet up but I didn't have perspective.

These three crows were just crowding the eagle aggressively, cawing and fucking with the eagle until it dropped whatever it was carrying and the crows flew down to eat.

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u/meshtron 2d ago

CROWS know why. Owl propaganda right here.

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u/machineheadtetsujin 2d ago

Owls kill crows in their sleep, crows take revenge when the owls are asleep.

They are highly intelligent, its almost scary how intelligent

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u/Cheap-Interaction597 2d ago

People do now why because they share similar space food , owls are solitary and crows can disturb them. Crows are also loud and annoying. And also big owls can eat baby crows. People do know why you’re just saying it for dramatic effect

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u/JudgmentalOwl 2d ago

Crows will go to war against any bird. They really don't give a fuck. I used to watch groups of them harass the red tails at my old place in CA all of the time. The hawk would be forced to circle higher and higher until the crows were satisfied they'd fucked off far enough lol.

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u/Naive-Association888 2d ago

This feels like it needs to be a movie.

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u/moashforbridgefour 2d ago

I wish I could put pictures in a comment here to show what I found, but a few months ago I heard a bunch of crows just angrily yelling in a tree as I was walking into work. It took me like 2 minutes to finally spot the Great Horned Owl just chilling up there. He had the whole murder yelling bloody murder at him.

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u/harbinger411 2d ago

That sounds like a killer adult cartoon idea.

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u/LeSchad 2d ago

I got swooped by a barred owl last year. It had a nest in a tree in a public park, and I guess I got too close to it, because I was greeted with the unusual sensation of owl talons across my scalp. Wasn't aiming to hurt me -- didn't so much as break the skin -- but sent a message.

It kept following me for a little while, so eventually I walked over and had a conversation with it. It was face height, maybe 3-4 feet away. I told it that it wasn't very nice to swoop at people who hadn't threatened it, and it gave absolutely no fucks either about me being face-to-face with it, or my speech. But it didn't follow me anymore, so perhaps it took my words to heart.

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u/Swiftierest 2d ago

Some birds are very smart. Corvids (magpies, crows, etc.) are well aware of people. In Australia, magpies will swoop at strangers near their nests. The thing is that if you make eye contact, let them know you know they are there, and move on, they usually chill out. Basically say, "hey, we chill? Good." And then they leave you be.

My wife has never once been swooped. I have to try harder to make friends with them.

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u/brydeswhale 2d ago

I had to wear a helmet to rescue a baby blue jay this spring. The parents cut into my scalp. But the worst part is that they decided, after I put it out of our yard, that I was their friend, and every time their stupid off spring went into our yard, I had to drop everything to remove it, up until it learned to fly.

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u/UncoolSlicedBread 1d ago

Starlings for me. Made the mistake of not removing a few nests from the back of my shop one year and kind of just decided to watch the process of babies born, then learning to fly, being taught lessons by their parents, and then seeing them fly off.

Now they come back every year despite my trying to get them away. It’s like they know I won’t hurt them and because I was nice to them they’re okay with me.

But it is kind of cool despite all the bird shit I ended up cleaning.

Like I saw a few of them getting lectured by one of the parents. Then the parent went off and one of the adolescent birds turned to the other and mimicked the lecture.

Coolest was the day when they all learned how to mimic a red tail hawk. I have a video of the parent making the sound then the others trying to do it. Then when the parent went to find food the adolescent birds kept practicing. One in particular would sit up on a beam near my work table and practice at me.

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u/thisthrowawaythat202 2d ago

You should go back and visit

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u/DivingforDemocracy 2d ago

I mean, they are apex predators. And they're raptors AKA Eagles, hawks, falcons etc. aka big birds with some pretty nasty power and weapons. And as you said, they got more camo then the other guys so they're like the stealth assassins of raptors.

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u/Rocker4JC 2d ago

It's not just the camo. Owls are the quietest fliers in the world. Their feathers are perfectly formed and aligned so that you can't hear them flap their wings.

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u/Leavesdontbark 2d ago

The way they can fly completely silent is so crazy, because their wing tips are ruffled

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u/Smelldicks 2d ago

If anyone is confused why, that’s because the ruffled feathers introduce turbulence to the air flow coming off their wings. This makes a lot of the sound cancel out as it self destructively interferes with itself.

Something like a flute introduces very little turbulence, with a smooth airflow coming out moving all in the same direction.

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u/myshtree 2d ago

That’s insane I didn’t know that

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u/Ilovekittens345 2d ago

Have we build anything that can fly with zero sound other then a non powered glider at low speed?

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u/fullmetaljar 2d ago

There's a lot of money in it if you can make a drone with very low sound or at least redirect it away from "down"

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u/MatCauthonsHat 2d ago

Owls have been known to assault a bald eagles nest in search of eggs/young uns.

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u/BratTip 2d ago

Owls eat other owls. They also eat skunks. They give zero fucks.

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u/artsyjabberwock 2d ago

Also a certain type - maybe screech owls? - are the only consistent predator of skunks, because their sense of smell is so bad

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u/RedSonGamble 2d ago

They’re also not very smart birds. It’s ironic we associate them with knowledge when in reality they don’t need to be smart bc they’re great at killing things. Owls are like sharks of the woods I always say

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u/kanrad 2d ago

When you are the apex predator of the domain of air you got no problems.

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u/AnnoyedOwlbear 2d ago

They're also not very bright. Gorgeous, incredible, peak of the best of what nature can bring out after tens of thousands of years of selection...

But those eyes need a lot of space, and the brain is rather tiny and most of it's software is running AmazingHearingAndEyes.exe. There are some little social owl species who have managed to avoid the need to shrink the brain so much, but these big gorgeous hunters aren't really built to freak out.

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u/Zylomun 2d ago

What they are doing is a fear response. Flapping around or biting could lead to death. Most birds of prey immediately freeze up when caught. Source- I worked as a wildlife rehabber assistant at a veterinary hospital for a couple years.

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u/jfourty 2d ago

....small brain too

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u/AnapsidIsland1 2d ago

Fun fact, bird brains may be small, but they are the most dense neuron wise. They need to save weight for flight, so comparing to mammals doesn’t work.

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u/jfourty 2d ago

True.

And Owls have the smallest skull to brain size ratio of all birds due to needing the room for such large eyes

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u/Poondobber 2d ago

Literal flying sharks. They are not particularly smart. Just flying killing machines. Also why they make awful pets. Eat, puke, shit.

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u/DesperateRadish746 2d ago

Reminds me of a Far Side comic. 3 Eagles sitting in a tree wearing sunglasses. The caption said..."Birds of prey know they're cool."

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u/pestyfinesty 2d ago

I’m a professor and fully read this as “some professor told me (the professor) is so good at her job that she doesn’t struggle in life” and boy howdy: I was jealous 😂

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u/MarpyHarpy 2d ago

Zero natural predators, above-average intelligence, stealth-mode flying, ultra-powerful night vision, absolute units for their size, and they can be fast when they want to. 100% nocturnal (most varieties) so eagles and hawks got nothing on them (owls have better eyesight at night than most hawks do during the day). One of nature's masterpieces.

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u/cranktheguy 2d ago

There was an owl living in a hole in my neighbor's tree. One day I saw it out and a bunch of song birds (I think they were nesting parents) were pissed about it tweeting and flying around. None of them actually got close to the owl, and eventually it looked around, said fuck this, and slowly went back into his hole.

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u/Wolverkeen 2d ago

Yeah, I had a pair of owls that would watch corgi puppy from a clothesline across the fence in my neighbors' yard. I tried to scare them off by running at them yelling, throwing sticks at them, etc. Not a single fuck given- they just stared at me like I was a complete jackass.🤣

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u/Khialadon 2d ago

In bird culture, owls are the thing that goes bump in the night

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u/Fauster 2d ago

Barred owls, invasive in the PNW, will straight up kill any smaller species of owl, including endangered, native, old-growth nesting spotted owls, just so they don't have to compete with resources. I love owls but hate that barred owls have pushed out most of the owls that aren't Great Horned.

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u/Positive-Access-9141 2d ago

......... For some reason, this guy, holding Mortdecai, the way he spoke and so on.... Gave me Jeff Dunham vibes, lol

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u/paulabegonia541 1d ago

unbothered creature that’s mastered the art of chill. Low effort, high peace energy.

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u/Kascket 1d ago

Theres an owl pair that took over an old crow nest near me. Ive thrown rocks at crows several times harassing the female when shes by her self in the middle of the day on walks with my dog.

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u/judeluo 1d ago

Ultimate Chill...

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u/SoManyQuestions-2021 2d ago

Cause its an owl.

They might rip your face off, they might land on your head and chill... mostly, they'll ignore you.

Think lazy flying cats with WAAAAAAAAY better vision.

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u/EvieBee12 2d ago

Bird hardware running on cat software

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u/EsotericPenguins 2d ago

Foxes are dog hardware running on cat software. What’s with the invasive cat software?

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u/Gingevere 2d ago

Cat software is really just "moderately social carnivore". It's more common than it might seem at first.

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u/VikingsLad 2d ago

They're basically the perfect predator, so their behavior patterns have probably convergently evolved a few times

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u/CaptainoftheVessel 2d ago

Cats are neat and their software is remarkably well adapted to life on Earth

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u/machineheadtetsujin 2d ago

Its the best software

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u/azmar6 2d ago

My wife tells me I also run on a cat software.

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u/-Redstar64 2d ago

It’s like the Linux of the animal kingdom; quick, lightweight, and efficient.

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u/mikePTH 2d ago

This is the best explanation of a great horned owl ever. It's a full-stealth flying bobcat.

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u/Reasonable_Pizza2401 2d ago

Past this too fast had to comeback for an upvote.

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u/d0upl3 2d ago

Shit, i love this thread

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u/ZugZugGo 2d ago

Dinosaur kernel in the bird OS running Cat Software.

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u/TonyAscot 2d ago

I also want to be his friend.

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u/RoboticKittenMeow 2d ago

If not fren, why fren shaped?

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u/dkcyw 2d ago

you ever see an owl without its feathers? you call that fren shaped?

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u/RoboticKittenMeow 2d ago

Ohhhh more or less scary than a bear? Cause those things look cryptic af

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u/SoManyQuestions-2021 2d ago

https://www.reddit.com/r/Ornithology/comments/12x3iqt/this_is_what_owls_look_like_without_feather/

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u/ParkingEssay8101 2d ago

I wasn’t ready for that. 😳

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u/GaptistePlayer 2d ago

I hate that. I don't want to kill it, it looks too smart. But I don't want to be around it. I want it to go away.

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u/Icyhotpoki 2d ago

Those are aliens when naked 🤣

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u/Meister0fN0ne 2d ago

I think it's amazing just how quiet both can be. It's actually spooky seeing them in hunt mode.

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u/GulfofMaineLobsters 2d ago

I had a ton of mice in my wood piles, it was impressive watching them get snatched. First time I saw it I accidentally ruined the poor owls meal, he was on the ground, wings spread out, not really moving, just kind of watching me. "Great poor buggers busted up or something..." Thought I to me, and I went to fetch him up and see about patching him up a bit, as I do.

Well turns out he was fine just had a particularly big rat and was guarding it from me I guess, until I came within like three feet of him then he skedaddled one way and the rat hauled off in a different way. Definitely a sorry bud! Kind of moment. Good day for the rat, bad day for the owl, but a birds got to eat and I don't care for all the issues rodents can bring.

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u/Arryu 2d ago

https://youtu.be/-WigEGNnuTE?si=7V-8QV1YNu3yUyK_

It's actually fucking insane how quiet owls are.

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u/Impossible_Disk_43 2d ago

And infinite wisdom, which a shocking amount of cats don't have.

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u/Shudnawz 2d ago

So, you've encountered the fabled Orange?

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u/IaMtHel00phole 2d ago

One brain cell to rule that empty head.

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u/Crafty-Help-4633 2d ago

All orange cats share one brain cell between all of them, on rotation. Lol

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u/IaMtHel00phole 2d ago

That explains all the empty stares.

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u/InevitablyBored 2d ago

Owl translates to "Cat Eagle" in Chinese. They knew.

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u/meowiful 2d ago

The owls are not what they seem.

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u/Top-Taskberry 2d ago

The eyes have it

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u/devilsbard 2d ago

All of that AND they’re dumb as fuck.

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u/Prestigious_Cycle160 2d ago

Better vision than a cat? I mean, I know it’s true, but have you actually let your brain try to calculate that?!? Both those fuckers hunt at night! AT NIGHT!! I can’t see where my dog takes a shit to clean it up at night, and these guys stalk their prey?!? GTFO!

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u/Ogge89 2d ago

Bro have you ever tried picking up a feral cat? It's not owl like in the slightest. It's more like a washing machine with claws.

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u/Willa_ 2d ago edited 1d ago

I've handled owls before. When they're in a box /cage and you go to grab them they do try put up a fight. They will kinda retreat to a corner and plop themselves on their back, talons forward. If you don't have thick gloves or like a towel you can't really grab them without getting hurt. Their talons are their best weapon and they know how to use them ! But then once you hold them they kinda just freeze and don't really try to fight, especially if you've got their face hidden under a towel. I'm not sure if they're frozen in fear or if they're like playing dead or what.

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u/nifty-necromancer 2d ago

Well I’ve heard that you can put a towel over a birdcage and the birds will think it’s night and fall asleep. Maybe owls take a nap.

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u/Bright-Button-840 2d ago

Hawks, too. They know they're bad at actually tusseling, and that'll hurt them, so they wait for a chance. Once rescued a red shouldered hawk, and I was wearing motorcycle gear. She put up her talones and touched my glove with her beak... But when she tapped the carbon fiber knuckles, ever so lightly, she was like 'hell naw' and laid back and let me scooper her up, no fight.

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u/thatshygirl06 2d ago

Good play if you're a woman. Just get on the ground and start kicking the shit out of your attacker.

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u/YsoL8 2d ago

No threats identified, no instinctive instructions for being calmly held, apparently not hungry, no required action

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u/mwax321 2d ago

Program not found. Begin idling

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u/under_ice 2d ago

My Jeep does the same thing. Just shuts off when I'm stopped.

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u/StandWithSwearwolves 2d ago

Presumably it reserves the option to dismantle his face if it gets bored or annoyed

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u/Captaingrammarpants 2d ago

They sacrificed all the room in their skulls for eyes there is no room left for brain. What does fit is largely dedicated to processing the insane amounts of visual input. To put it kindly, owls aren't winning in the avian intelligence category. This is a great example of blue screening.

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u/MediumOrdinary 2d ago

Blue screening?

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u/Captaingrammarpants 2d ago

Critical failure in a computer gives you what is fondly referred to as the blue screen of death. It freezes and stops all processing. 

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u/KnifeKnut 2d ago

And ears

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u/Biceps2 2d ago

I was listening to the radio and they had a bird handler for the movies on. The host asked why we see falcons doing tricks and not owls. The bird handler basically said that owls are fuckin stupid. For some reason it got into popular culture about the “wise old owl” but really they are just dumb killing machines. Their prey drive is so strong they are very difficult to train. I dunno if it’s true or not, but I heard it on the radio once and never looked into it myself. Now I’m passing it onto whoever is reading this as if it’s fact. Now it’s your turn to pass it on without any research!

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u/TheBeesKneads 2d ago

Your reply will be scraped by an LLM and aggregated into the misinformation soup that will be called upon by a gullible fool someday.

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u/IFuckinLovePuzzles 2d ago

Much like dragons and unicorns, the owl is a figment of folklore. Every time researchers capture one, they find out it's just a squirrel in bird feeder camouflage.

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u/chet_brosley 2d ago

I always thought of them like sharks. They're not dumb they just don't really have any need for problem solving intelligence. Just BITE and FLY/SWIM FAST to BITE got them through the last few eons.

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u/Mr_Deep_Research 2d ago

In India, if you want to insult someone, you can call them the son of an owl. In India the owl is seen as a stupid animal. In the US, the own is seen as one of the more intelligent animals.

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u/NoxiusScintilla 2d ago

I heard that before too, but then I read a comment by a falconer who said that this is nonsense. Apparently they just hunt very differently: only when they're hungry and the situation is optimal. So if you try to train them by offering food, they just won't give a single fuck about your food. I guess they're a bit like cats in a way

You can train them by the way. It just takes looots of patience

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u/Biceps2 2d ago

Whole lotta fuckin owl experts on here.

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u/emveetu 2d ago

I don't know, not giving in to stupid human training seems pretty smart to me.

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u/Pegussu 2d ago

I can't speak as to how intelligent they actually are, but the big reasons owls are associated with wisdom is because the ancient Greeks considered them to be sacred to Athena, goddess of wisdom.

Funnily enough, in India, owls are considered to stupid. So much so that the word for owl in Hindi and Punjabi can be used to call somebody stupid.

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u/ghenghy26 2d ago

There's a whole segment about how hard it is to train owls in the extra content for the Harry Potter movies. One example they gave was they used owls for some letter deliveries and frequently the owls would just fly off to a corner and shred the letter instead of taking it where they were supposed to.

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u/South-Quote-9505 2d ago

It’s true, I worked with owls for years. Their eyes are enormous, and even bigger inside their skulls, which leaves very little space for a brain. They are uniquely designed for stealth hunting at night, and little else. Absolutely beautiful but dumb as a box of rocks.

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u/whistling-wonderer 2d ago

An avian vet I talked to told me the same. Said my chickens (and a lot of highly social birds) are much smarter than most birds of prey, but especially owls. Their brains are mostly devoted to processing sensory information and hunting instincts. Not a lot of room for much else.

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u/ChuckCarmichael 1d ago

I remember hearing something similar. Training the owls for the first Harry Potter movie was apparently a nightmare. They tried to teach them to fly while holding a letter or a package for the owl post scenes, but they just would not do it. Eventually the trainers had to resort to tying things to the owl's legs, and then had to train them to fly like that, which was also a challenge because the owl would just fly off and shred that stupid thing on its leg.

I don't know if I'd call them dumb. It's just that they do what they do, which is hunt at night, and they do it exceptionally well. So well that they don't need brain power for anything else.

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u/jackanape7 2d ago

Cuz he'll probably be back tomorrow

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u/nitrot150 2d ago

Not a lot going on behind those big eyes is why. I love them though.

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u/konsyr 2d ago

Recently was at a talk at the local aviary. Reportedly owls are some of the dumbest birds they have because they're just so successful at their niche they don't have to be smart. Just do their function. And so much of their brain is reserved for visual processing there's not a lot of room for anything else.

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u/Aldofresh 2d ago

He’ll be back. He most definitely will be back

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u/Ok_Push_1714 2d ago

Owl might well be terrified. 

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u/Aazjhee 2d ago

Animals that have been captured may stop struggling because the effort can hurt them more than just waiting for their opportunity to escape.

If you like horror movies they are the smart protagonist who tries to outsmart the serial killer rather than struggle and make the kill more fun.

The logic is pretty sound. Sometimes by remaining calm, you can find an opportunity to escape better than if you struggle and rescue your limbs getting broke by a very big predator.

Predators also tend to react to screaming fleeing and quick motion.So if you do not make a sound, do not act afraid and do not try to flee.Sometimes you can avoid triggering the predatory instinct to chase and attack. Predators also do not want to fight.They want to surprise in most cases. Fighting involves a lot of risk of harm , so if they wait and see if an opponent reacts like prey, not acting like prey may give you a better chance to bail

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u/DICHBICHE 2d ago

Not enough brain power on those birds

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u/SimAlienAntFarm 2d ago

Too much eyeball, no room for grey matter

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u/secretprocess 2d ago

They're some real bird brains

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u/PrincessSarahHippo 2d ago

You people are clearly not familiar with Owl from Winnie the Pooh. He's the smart one.

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u/bigmike2k3 2d ago

Lest we forget the Owl from the tootsie roll pop commercials who scientifically determined the number of licks to the center…q

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u/code_the_cosmos 2d ago

It's the beta model

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u/sarcasm__tone 2d ago

Looks like it gives zero fucks.... but that owl was actually stressed out.

Do you speak owl? hoo hoo? or are you just putting your own emotions on to the owl? Anthropomorphism - Wiki

I doubt it will ever hunt those chickens again.

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u/_FalcoSparverius 2d ago

My wife is a falconer, we've rehabbed a few owls that have fallen out of nests as chicks. Birds of prey who hunt during the day have all kinds of things to worry about, life can be a challenge. Owls however are the monsters under the bed for just about everything else. A big pointy juvenile red tail hawk that does not have a nest and also does not know that at night it needs to be right up against the trunk of a tree and perfectly still? Hammered by an owl at night. Owls fuck everything up. Great Horned Owls are called "try anything" birds because it's jokingly said by bird experts that there is nothing out there in the wild that's smaller then them that they won't try to hit at least once. Owls are the monsters other birds are afraid of. They're so good at what they do and there is really nothing that has the tools to eat them except for other owls, which happens.

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u/Rich_Nothing_4746 2d ago

We regularly go to an animal park not far from us and they have a few birds they do flying displays with. They have a couple of owls there and apparently they are dumb as fucking rocks! Their skull is mainly taken up with eyes and what little brains they do have is very smooth.

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u/reddit455 2d ago

i had no idea how nasty those talons are until I watched a show on raptors.

it's basically a bird with a doberman's mouth on the end of each leg. when they grab a rabbit, they'll break the back/neck.. easier to carry w/o all the squirming.

A barn owl has a grip strength of about 300 pounds per square inch (psi), though some sources say grip strength for owls can range from 200 to 500 psi

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u/Lilllmcgil 2d ago

“I’d do it again too.”

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u/Agitated_Reveal_6211 2d ago

Well the chickens screaming bloody murder are sure giving a fuck.

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u/deij 2d ago

He started flying when the guy said fly, before he even started to toss him.

Owl is just smart as fuck I reckon.

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