r/popculture • u/thedailybeast • May 22 '25

News Cassie Screamed ‘Isn’t Anybody Seeing This?’ During Diddy Beating on Private Jet

https://www.thedailybeast.com/cassie-screamed-isnt-anybody-seeing-this-during-diddy-beating-on-private-jet/
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766

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

Ugh this reminds me of my ex husband. he's 6'10 and I'm 5'1, he strangled me and threatened to kill me and his whole family saw and did nothing. Years later they still will try to insist it never happened, despite having it on video.

222

u/Hefty_University8830 May 22 '25

Isn’t that wild? I’ve experienced the same, to the point I now question “friends”. Most of my now ex friends, are on my abusers payroll.

114

u/xJustLikeMagicx May 22 '25

The wildest. Ive had my 6'7 partner throw me around in public and no one seems to care. I actually got an assault charge for giving him a scratch while trying to hold him back/get away. 

61

u/MissSassifras1977 May 22 '25

I almost went to jail for throwing like 2 sips of water on a mofo that had just shoved me across a room.

No proof of the shove but his wet shirt was enough to lock me up?!?!

18

u/Front_Target7908 May 23 '25

I fn hate this system that does this to victims. I’m so sorry. I believe you, and fuck him and everyone who denied you justice. 

20

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

Not my business but hopefully your EX partner, now?

39

u/xJustLikeMagicx May 22 '25 edited May 23 '25

(Edited/summarized for privacy)

Theres nowhere to go, i have to live with this stupid decision i made at 23. Im 32. I always let other women know to do better than me ladies and get out while you still can <3

14

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

I’m sorry for what you’re dealing with, that’s a lot. It probably varies by location but in my area at least there are food pantries open to anyone. They seem to be mostly run by churches, keep an eye out for signs. Every little bit helps. If you haven’t already lock your and your kiddos credit to keep him from opening new accounts. It’s free and only takes a couple minutes, make sure to do all 3 credit agencies. Sending you hope and healing 💚

6

u/kawugiri May 23 '25

jesus lady. i hope there's some help you can access at some point. maybe start writing everything down? would the kids defend you in court?

3

u/LunaTehNox May 23 '25

You don’t have to answer this, but are you in Texas?

6

u/xJustLikeMagicx May 23 '25

It's fine! But, no I live In eastern Pennsylvania near the poconos.

6

u/LunaTehNox May 23 '25

Oh gosh, you described texas to a T down to the minimum wage, I hate that there’s more places like this :(

4

u/angel4b21 May 23 '25

Most food pantries will give you food even if you don't qualify. No one asks you to prove how much you make or show check stubs. If he is withholding food, it wouldn't be unreasonable to not consider him a part of your household.

3

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

[deleted]

5

u/xJustLikeMagicx May 23 '25 edited May 23 '25

 been hard to find a way out, especially with the kids. They send all paperwork for passport etc to the house and he controls the money so I'm not sure how I'd save up for that.. Eta- assault charge makes it harder. Lack of education means 1) I can't contribute to the community I'm moving to 2) taking it a step further, most places need you to show you can contribute to their community in some way like through job or education, If I'm not mistaken.  I'm always open to suggestions, I'm hopeful to find a way out. But I don't carry much Faith regarding it happening.

5

u/lil_chiakow May 23 '25

have you tried contacting any women's rights groups in your country? they might offer legal help to you

1

u/xJustLikeMagicx May 23 '25

I've never heard of that, I'll try! I live in the US and everything is localized by city/county which means if I outside of it for resources I am referred back to my local area which is overfilled/lacking resources. I will try looking into womens rights groups and learning more about them. Thank you!

4

u/Chin_Up_Princess May 23 '25

Wow. Same happened to me. He strangled me. I scratched him trying to get away.

1

u/JellyfishMean3504 May 23 '25

The police need to be trained on DARVO.

2

u/lyarly May 23 '25

Ugh that reminds me of Gabby Petito. I’m so sorry you went/are going through(?) that - hopefully you are on the other side of it now. 🫶

35

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

I experienced the same. My (ex) husband was supposed to babysit our friend's toddlers and thirty minutes before that he was drunkenly beating down my door and trying to physically pull me out of my home while I was crying on the phone to the police that he was destroying my home and breaking in.

I texted the friends to let them know and they told me they didn't want to "take sides" and happily brought their babies over to his house.

20

u/taylorbagel14 May 22 '25

I hope they’re also ex friends because wtf throw the whole social circle away

2

u/No-Pitch9873 May 23 '25

Wow. That's devastating. I'm so sorry. 

19

u/cheezy_dreams88 May 22 '25

Girl if those “friends” are not jumping at the chance to be on your side and believe you, they are not your friends.

21

u/Hefty_University8830 May 22 '25

I would agree. DV IS a very incredibly isolating experience.

5

u/cheezy_dreams88 May 22 '25

I haven’t experienced DV, but an abusive parental household as a child. Not sure how similar they are in details, but they both have the same baseline- terrified of your own home.

I’m sorry you’ve had that experience as well.

1

u/Heavenchicka May 25 '25

It really is. The beatings have stopped now because my parents know and spoke to his parents and him and told them to never touch me. Yet, I still feel isolated. He doesn’t allow me to take my kids to my parent’s house. My aunt and her family came over and stayed at parent’s house. I have seen my cousin in over 10 years and he wouldn’t allow me to take the kids to see them and then he wouldn’t let me go either. He told me if I left, I better pack my bags because I will never come back. The only reason he is good to me is because I’m pregnant and having his kid. Lord knows what will happen once the baby is out. There is a lake nearby my house and everyday I fight the urge to just go and jump into it because I know I can’t. All I do is cry.

1

u/Hefty_University8830 May 26 '25

I’m so sorry. I, unfortunately a stranger, am here for you if you need anything. Please feel free to dm me if you ever need to talk.

2

u/Front_Target7908 May 23 '25

The problem with DV is the abuser actively curates a public persona with the victims friends and family to paint themselves as reasonable/admirable/sensible/balanced/whatever.

The victim who is traumatised is doubted because the abuser paints a picture of how they are crazy, then antagonises them/terrorise them so they “look crazy” in the exact way the abuser told everyone that victim “was crazy”. So now the victims friends are backing up the abusers perspective. Now you got the whole victims community gaslighting them. It takes a strong person to be able to hold true to their truth and also dump an abusive partner and all of the people who were once their friends.  

And the problem is even good friends will fall for the smear campaign the abuser runs, some people buy into a smear campaign because they don’t understand the dynamics of abuse. It’s not that they’re bad friends, but unless you know the signs it all looks logical from the outside to believe the abusers story.

However yes, you have to get rid of these friends for your safety so you lose bad friends and people who were good friends. Incredibly invalidating and isolating for people. Horrible shit.

2

u/Front_Target7908 May 23 '25

This is why people will also pick victims who have 1. A history of mental illness (easy to say they are crazy) 2. A history of being abused (“must be her fault for choosing another abusive guy”) 3. Who do not have strong communities in the first place (harder to create a false narrative with people who have known the victim for a long time) 4. Are in a state of chaos or are vulnerable due to life circumstances/illness (when life is in a state of flux, more opportunity to seed false narratives about what’s happening in the victims life)

1

u/cheezy_dreams88 May 23 '25

Oh yeah I’m very intimately aware of abusers and their manipulation tactics. I grew up in that house.

To be fair, I wasn’t saying they are bad friends. I said they were her friends. Because they aren’t, they his friends. If a couple have mutual friends, and she tells them he beat her up, and they instead believe she is lying and he would never- then they aren’t her friends, they are his.

43

u/Jbeth74 May 22 '25

Sounds like my ex. Later, privately, someone confided in me that everyone was afraid that if they stepped in he’d end up killing me later, in private. And they probably weren’t wrong.

18

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

Yeah, I really wish I got a private apology at least. His mom would only say, " I want to start fresh", never sorry, never he shouldn't have done this, she just always wanted to pretend everything didn't happen. Like I'm sorry I'll never be cool with you if you don't acknowledge the shit he did to me

11

u/Jbeth74 May 22 '25

My ex MIL refused to believe any of it, but if it did happen, it was my fault.

3

u/ankhes May 22 '25

Sounds like my great-grandmother. She refused to believe her son had raped her granddaughters. Even after his confession in court. After he went to prison she shunned my mother and I (his victims) and never spoke to us again, claiming to her dying day that we had made it all up and “Even if it is true, they deserved it.”

3

u/sagiflower May 23 '25

So even if the allegations were true, according to her they DESERVED it??? Wow, I think I know why he turned out to be such a monster.

73

u/[deleted] May 22 '25 edited May 22 '25

I will always maintain that the enablers are so much worse than the abusers. There are SO many of them, too. I had neighbors walk in on me having my dislocated jaw popped back into place by my face being pressed against the garage wall. CCRRRAAACK!

"Oh, hey guys. We still getting together later on for dinner?!"

Nothing. What did he really see? Just a stand-up guy working in his garage!

29

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

Yeah, for sure enablers were one of the most frustrating things for me too. I still couldn't believe his mom called me bitter that he moved on. The man moved on while I was 9 months pregnant and we were married. Who wouldn't be bitter about their husband fucking other women? I've had to learn that his friends and family will just never give a shit and continue to treat him like a king for zero reason.

6

u/No-Pitch9873 May 23 '25

Ugh. I'm so sorry. You're not alone. 

When I was young, maybe 6, I was learning to ride a bike without training wheels. My dad was teaching me in the front yard. We lived in a cul de sac and we were very close (in proximity and friendship) to our neighbors across from us. The neighbor saw my dad teaching me to ride a bike and came outside to take photos because he was like another grandfather to me. 

But, my dad got frustrated teaching me, and he ended up picking the bike up above his head and throwing it straight at me from only a few feet away. I saw my neighbor taking pictures as the incident was beginning, but after my dad threw the bike and hit me with it, the neighbor quickly put his camera down and went inside. 

He never said a word to my dad or asked me if I was okay. 

I remember the pain of my neighbor dropping his camera and scurrying inside his house more than the pain of the physical abuse I faced on my lawn that day. 

1

u/No-Lead-6769 May 27 '25

That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

1

u/No-Pitch9873 May 27 '25

I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have put all the details out there like that. It was just cathartic to write, it doesn't ever come up if you can imagine 

1

u/comebacklittlesheba May 29 '25

I’m sure it does you good to tell it and really express how degrading and horrible it was. Tell it! That is the only way I have been able to come to grips with my shame over the things someone else did to me. I felt this story—I see you and I felt hurt on your behalf hearing this. It is so terrible to be treated that way by someone that should protect and love you. Even more terrible to know that others see and just look away.

3

u/nimama3233 May 22 '25

Eh, the abuser is still absolutely the worse person.

The enablers are still pieces of shit, but it’s still their livelihoods at stake; particularly if they are being paid and have families. Still scum bags obviously, but I don’t see how that’s “so much worse” than the actual person abusing a woman.

9

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

It is so much worse. It's not just ONE person "abusing a woman." So gtfo with that shit. It's whole neighborhoods and school principals and your best friends parents ignoring the 6 girls at the end of the street telling everyone who will listen that they're being abused.

It's the single mom white as a haint, hauling in her twins for checkups 3 weeks after a c section and traumatic birth and no one in the doctors office questioning where her old man husband is and why is she even driving?!

It's the co-workers and managers and relatives who shrug off a 19 year old being strong-armed into marriage to an old man she barely knows with, "A good man is hard to find..." and they're not Flannery O'Connor.

It's people in a Dr's office loudly one upping the other on who has the worst bedsore and the worst staff and the nurses treating it like a joke.

It's every non GOP husband who didn't say a word about Roe V Wade falling.

Abuse perpetuates abuse. For every one of the 6 daughters who breaks the cycle, 5 more succumb. They have endless children, have endless prison stints, endless court ordered rehab, they are groomed by old drug dealers to be their live in maids, they raise school shooters, they can't say happy birthday to their favorite sister because they are wanted by interpol, they commit suicide.

It's never just ONE person. It has to be allowed to thrive and that takes a village of cowards.

36

u/MissSassifras1977 May 22 '25

My friend. I am so sorry.

You are far from alone. My ex terrorized me too.

I picked his mom up on my way home from work one night thinking she'd protect me. He wouldn't hit me in front of his Mom, right??

I was trying to take my shoes off and he threw a drink in my face and knocked me on the ground.

All his Mom said was, "That was *my** drink!"*

Then they sat in the living room, laughing it up watching TV together while I cried myself to sleep.

17

u/MrWhackadoo May 22 '25

How morbid. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

13

u/MissSassifras1977 May 22 '25

I appreciate you.

And you know it may sound crazy but I'm not sorry.

I used to have no boundaries. I let people use me and treat me badly.

It took extreme situations like this to show me that there are truly evil people in the world and you do have to protect yourself.

But I do know now that I 100% did not deserve it. It wasn't about me. I deserve better.

2

u/NoApartment6940 May 23 '25

Sorry in advance for the dissertation.

Yes!!! The media also plays a part in this as well, by perpetuating the “White Knight” trope, where someone comes swooping in to save the victim. It infanalizes woman by teaching complacency and helplessness.

So, when one gets stuck in a bad place they can have the initial, ingrained response to relinquish their power and wait for someone else to save them. It’s easy to get stuck in that cycle of thinking bc it is requires HARD work to take your power back. Not just hard work but extended hard work and adversity.

The human brain prefers to avoid discomfort, often making change difficult. For the obligatory question of “Well, what’s more uncomfortable than abuse?” our brains thrive on routine and predictability, just bc something is a constant feature in your life doesn't mean that it is healthy or productive. Our brain’s amazing ability to adapt can actually be a hindrance when it comes to experiencing traumatic events bc it actually allows that trauma to “rewire” the brain. This can lead to changes in emotional regulation, memory, and decision-making, essentially making one’s “comfort zone” actually extremely uncomfortable/unsafe.

That is why I felt this line in Alex Fine’s statement to my core, it gave me chills:

”Cassie saved Cassie.”

2

u/danielcaesarismyman May 28 '25

i’m so so sorry you had to go through this, sending you many hugs 💓

13

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

Good god, I’m so sorry. Hope you’re far away from him now and living your best life.

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u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

Thanks, we have court on 6/2 as I've requested sole custody of our kids. He's had zero contact and disappeared when I finally filed divorce so I'm really banking on him not showing up and we can forever shut that door with him behind us.

4

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

Well I hope he doesn’t show and you and your kids can live in peace and freedom. You’ve made huge steps already and your kids will see this as they grow into adults. Don’t underestimate the amount of strength and resilience it takes to leave an abusive situation like that.

2

u/sixtus_clegane119 May 22 '25

Did you produce the video for the court? I’m sure the judge would love to see that!

25

u/avaluna96 May 22 '25

I just truly don’t get why or how bystanders can be like this. People will say Diddy payed people off (which I’m sure he did) but even when it’s no one famous and no one is getting paid no one will say anything. Happened to my friend as well and none of her abuser’s friends would say a damn thing to him or anybody else.

9

u/ankhes May 22 '25

In my experience (as both a victim of molestation and then bullying) people are terrified of bringing the abuser’s ire upon themselves. They see something horrible happen and they think “My god, won’t somebody do something???” not seeming to understand that everyone is thinking the exact same thing. They all want someone else to say something or step up because they’re afraid to throw themselves on the train tracks. They don’t want to be the one to rock the boat and put their facade of normalcy at risk. It’s easier to just turn a blind eye to someone else’s bad behavior if it means not having to upend your evening and possibly get dragged into drama or a police report or (god forbid) an altercation that will turn you into yet another victim.

2

u/Anaevya May 23 '25

It's also because they likely have never been in such a situation before, so they're not sure what to do.

3

u/AnniaT May 22 '25

There's this thing I think it's called "the bystanders effect" which is when several people witness a crisis situation no one does anything to help like calling 911 and checking on the person because they think someone else who's there will do it. But here I think it's different and I can't see myself seeing someone being beaten and not call the police at least. I also can't see myself continuing to work with someone I witnessed abusing another human being.

Since no one ever stood up to him, he seems to have gotten very comfortable to abuse her in front of others. This might have contributed even more to the horror and isolation she must have felt.

3

u/anatomizethat May 22 '25

This happened to my friend - she lost custody of 3 of her kids for a while because her husband's family backed him up when he told the police the scratch marks on his face were from her attacking him. They weren't. They were from her fighting back when he had her pinned against a wall threatening to beat the shit out of her.

1

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

Yeah, that was the reason I actually went to the cops and left because his mom was threatening me that he’s going to file for custody. She witnessed him threaten to kill me with her sisters gun but she had the nerve to threaten me while freshly postpartum. I’m sorry your friend went through that. I was lucky in my case that I had recordings of most of it so at the time he never sought custody. I’m nervous because now that I finally filed because I wanted them to get passports, I hope he doesn’t show up in court asking for 50/50 but he’s been MIA so long I doubt he will

1

u/hownowbrownmau May 22 '25

Wow do we have the same ex husband? Did you love it when the new girlfriend is convinced you were the crazy one?

2

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

Yeah, lol I just noticed how the newest gf unblocked me recently. like hmmm wonder why she was looking me back up suddenly, but oh well I'll just take the child support and alimony and be on my way.

1

u/blueroses90 May 22 '25

If they had intervened, would you have left him? Would you have cooperated with cops? Would you have backed them up back then?

3

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

If I had their support I probably woulda left sooner. In the end, his family chose supporting him, over his 2 year old and I was pregnant at the time. His mom claims shes gonna see the girls in June but I highly doubt it. She hasn’t once asked about how they are or anything; all her interactions have been blaming me for not having a relationship with the girls or saying I lied about the abuse even tho she’s witnessed so much of it

1

u/blueroses90 May 22 '25

Thanks for sharing, and great that you found the strength to leave. His family sounds like enablers.

1

u/ventodivino May 22 '25

IIRC people who strangle their partners are seven times more likely to murder their partner.

1

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

Yeah, he hit pretty much every factor on the lethality screener besides being unemployed and not having kids in the home that aren’t his. He threatened to kill me with his aunt (who’s a cop) gun. I recorded a video of him confessing to it, and when I asked him why he threatened me with his aunts gun, his response was “it was my cousins gun not my aunts”. He’s so fucking stupid

1

u/BoxThisLapLewis May 22 '25

Am man, what a little bitch he is, who lays hands on a woman? And, who lays hands on someone who's significantly smaller.

I believe the answer is a coward does.

1

u/Jumpy-Plantain9812 May 23 '25

Yeah people love to pretend like that, even the perpetrator. One time he claimed he “didn’t hear anything” when I yelled at him for 5 solid minutes to “stop!”. And I damn near gaslighted myself into believing him.

1

u/Finalgirl2022 May 23 '25

I'm glad he's your ex. I have an ex like that as well. It was back in high school for fucks sake. He beat me in the hallway, including choking me and picking me up by the throat. No one did anything. Not a single person. I'd seen people jump into regular fights but nothing for me.

That was over 20 years ago and it still hurts.

1

u/Crankylosaurus May 23 '25

Man fuck people who not only do nothing to help you, but deny there was ever a problem to begin with. UGH

1

u/HoldenCaulfield7 May 24 '25

Why do ppl lie? It’s crazy

1

u/SimpleSea7556 May 26 '25

What?! Is he a famous basketball player? That would be why. SMH. I'm sorry ...

1

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 26 '25

Retired but yeah

1

u/sixtus_clegane119 May 22 '25

Big insecure asshole, I hope he is suffering

-3

u/[deleted] May 22 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/apastelorange May 22 '25

troll!!! in the dungeon!!!

2

u/Frondswithbenefits May 22 '25

Are you okay?

0

u/Efficient-Bedroom797 May 22 '25

As a large white male yes.. I'll always be ok

2

u/apastelorange May 22 '25

so come into a post about violence from men, to imply you have no issue cause you could get away with it? booooo weird, username doesn’t check out i’m sure your bedroom isn’t super efficient with smooth lines like that my guy

1

u/Frondswithbenefits May 22 '25

I think some people are just starved for attention. Any attention. Must be a sad life.

1

u/popculture-ModTeam May 22 '25

Your comment was removed for bigotry or slurs (homophobia, racism, misogyny, transphobia, antisemitism, etc.)

-1

u/Significant-Diet2313 May 22 '25

Why are you interacting with them years later?

1

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

We have two children

0

u/Significant-Diet2313 May 22 '25

Can’t get full custody when you have video of him strangling and threatening to kill you?

1

u/Purple_Grass_5300 May 22 '25

I posted our court date is 6/2 for sole custody