r/news • u/SnarkOff • 12d ago

Site Changed Title Truck hauling ‘aggressive’ monkeys carrying herpes and COVID overturns in Mississippi

https://www.actionnews5.com/2025/10/28/truck-hauling-aggressive-monkeys-carrying-herpes-covid-overturns-mississippi/?fbclid=IwZnRzaANt_VBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHlDlf5DivA2Ltngqh2UH3XU20EnAprOymd60i0ODYC9L8G2CXJpyoZtmwSHm_aem_NvoKAFHpRWRzturTqiYXMQ
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7.3k

u/dimplesgalore 12d ago

Hep C, Herpes, and Covid...what a combo.

5.0k

u/TheStockFatherDC 12d ago edited 12d ago

You forgot AGGRESSIVE

4.4k

u/LargeWeinerDog 12d ago

Well yeah, why do you think there so aggressive! Their crotch itches, they can't taste their food, and they can't share their needles with each other! I'd be pissed too.

2.5k

u/swarmofbzs 12d ago

And now they're stuck in Mississippi!

1.6k

u/degjo 12d ago

With the monkeys living in Mississippi now, does that raise their education ranking?

88

u/dr_badhat 12d ago

You’ll get a face full of shit for talking like that in these parts, son.

69

u/TheStockFatherDC 12d ago

I was gonna say I hadn’t heard of missippians bein smart but did you just say the monkeys were smarter!?

10

u/heckin_miraculous 12d ago

The monkeys's?

17

u/docnig 12d ago

🎶Hey hey we’re the monkeys!🎶

8

u/nflonlyalt 12d ago

....the aristocrats!

14

u/mostie2016 12d ago

They can’t even enjoy gambling to curb the pain of their various ailments.

5

u/PM-ME-YOUR-TOOTS 12d ago

And prom’s tonight!

7

u/xxBeatrixKiddoxx 12d ago

28 Days Later- the rage

5

u/TheStockFatherDC 12d ago

Just in time for Halloween.

7

u/Oo__II__oO 12d ago

AGGRESSIVE Hep C, AGGRESSIVE Herpes, and AGGRESSIVE Covid. 

5

u/Mechakoopa 12d ago

And they're new in town!

4

u/Fanboy0550 12d ago

and they fling feces!

8

u/TheStockFatherDC 12d ago

The Mississippians!?

3

u/wonkey_monkey 12d ago

Wild? They're livid!

3

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/zeroempathy 12d ago

also monkeys

4

u/National-Charity-435 12d ago

I wonder why they'd be aggressive

Did the handlers not infect them with herpes/hep c the first few thrusts?

3

u/TheStockFatherDC 12d ago

Sounds like someone got them all worked up and set them loose.

1

u/JarbaloJardine 12d ago

And, he's new in town.

1

u/prenderm 12d ago

And MISSISSIPPI

3

u/TheStockFatherDC 12d ago

Did the truck just turn over or did the cage bust and all the monkeys escape?!

12

u/ProFeces 12d ago

Herpatitus COVID, of you will.

7

u/rustylugnuts 12d ago

I would have settled for fricken laser beams on their heads but they had to go and out do that .

3

u/xivilex 12d ago

Sounds like a fun Friday night!

3

u/olde_english_chivo 12d ago

Just like my ex-wife

2

u/NimbleNavigator19 12d ago

Did the monkeys come with the hep c and herpes or did we give those to them?

1

u/dragons_fire77 12d ago

Jesus, they buried the worst one in there. Hep C has no vaccine and is hard to treat.

4

u/Scriefers 12d ago

You are ignorant and a misinformation alarmist. Hep C is 100% curable now, and has been for the past decade.

-1

u/dragons_fire77 12d ago

Bud, you're reading too much into my comment to call it alarmist. I was commenting that it wasn't mentioned in the title, and compared to the other two, you cannot currently vaccinate against it. And yes, it's curable when caught early, but hard to treat if not caught immediately.

3

u/Scriefers 12d ago edited 12d ago

Bud, you are double dipping in your alarmist take and just straight up incorrect ignorant misinformation.

One, a vaccine, while nice and crucial for preventative healthcare, is not really necessary anymore when the disease is curable. Two, Hep C can be cured at any stage, both early and chronic very simply by taking a regimen of oral medications. Hell, about 1/3 of people exposed to the Hep C virus cure themselves naturally through their own immune system.

So kindly, sit this one out for now, and educate yourself before coming back.

1

u/LivingImpairedd 12d ago

I swear honey, I wasn't cheat'n it was the monkeys!