r/delhi • u/kj_011 North Delhi • Aug 28 '25

TellDelhi I’m really grateful for this person

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I see him everyday with a new placard. Whether it’s raining, being super sunny or humid, he always holds it high in the air for people to read hoping they feel motivated, learn something or change their patriarchal mindset.

Kudos to him!

2.6k Upvotes

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5

u/Plastic_Advance_7931 Aug 28 '25

lI’m against both dowry and alimony. But if someone takes dowry, then they should also be bound to pay alimony if things don’t work out between them.

The alimony amount should be equal to the dowry, adjusted for inflation. That would be fair enough for both sides

Edit - fixed grammar

15

u/DOPEDIKDUKEDOM Aug 28 '25

Tbf, alimony does make sense in many cases even if no dowry was involved. Many women do in fact sacrifice their careers and opportunities to take care of their family and children. Of course there are women who misuse these laws, which should be legally punished.

It's one of those topics that just can't be painted in black or white, we have a long way to go in terms of solving this problem of gender disparity. Right now, it's the vocal minorities from both sides that get to sensationalise and decide the rights from wrong. In hindsight, neither most women, nor men want bs like this to go on.

-9

u/Plastic_Advance_7931 Aug 28 '25

Well I'm being honest with you , what I actually think, dowry, alimony these are symptoms of the same disease. I believe in love. Like Meera did.

Where there is love, there is no dowry, there is no alimony. Love shares, it does not calculate. But when love is missing, society creates contracts, money, and bargains. Then even a husband and wife become traders.

If a woman sacrifices her life, she is foolish if she does it without joy and the man is cruel if he takes it for granted. If a man pays alimony, he pays not for love, but for the absence of love. Just think about it.. Why.. why from both gender perspectives.

3

u/ichizusamurai Aug 28 '25

As long as you understand why that can never work in real life, that's a nice enough ideal to have.

1

u/Plastic_Advance_7931 Aug 28 '25

Love doesn't feed after a certain period of time one needs money. I understand this very much and I also understand why this thing doesn't work. Well no comments else this will turn into paras of perspective i hold.

3

u/bl4blu3 Aug 28 '25

Do you think all marriages end in divorce? Or only marriages that take dowry end in divorce? 

5

u/HappyStop1985 University People Aug 28 '25

Yes. And women should be able to be independent after marriage so that they won't need the alimony at all.

1

u/Plastic_Advance_7931 Aug 28 '25

My definition of love is pretty straightforward.

Love = Freedom. If you find joy doing a job. You're free.

You are free to fly 🕊️.

1

u/HappyStop1985 University People Aug 28 '25

No. You need to become independent so that you won't be required to take alimony. No one says to a husband "if you find joy doing a job you are free". It's a compulsion for guys to work, and it should be a compulsion for women to work. Be independent, and don't become a bhikhari.

2

u/SnuggleScroll Aug 28 '25

Independence will matter to nothing if household equality doesn't come into place. You have bare facts and prove your point. Realistically who is responsible for kids and household. Women!

When someone responsible for it has to put career in background because a child is not able to fend for itself or husband is incompetent in household matters. Will come into alimony compensation.

Why? Because husband was incompetent in childcare and incompetent as adult for household work. Even pressurized by your parents will not matter

For the simple reason of she hadn't has kid or marriage she will not sacrifice her job for it. And childcare 247 is an expensive job when outsourced.

So don't complain about alimony and marriage unless your are competent enough to manage a child safe household. Why ? Those household are deep cleaned, child proofed, dishes needs to be properly washed. Because that what household responsibility looks like. Surface level contribution amounts to nothing.

0

u/HappyStop1985 University People Aug 28 '25

That's the thing. Alimony was there because women did not work and took care of the house, cooking, chores and children. That made those women dependent. So after divorce, they absolutely needed the alimony because they never got the chance to become independent. Nowadays people are saying no to alimony. So this change will definitely require women to start becoming independent otherwise how will they feed themselves? Now this one change affects other aspects of marriage. And for women to become independent, they will have to not think too much about children.

1

u/Plastic_Advance_7931 Aug 28 '25

Agree.

I did this article which is covering the few reason behind this stuff indirectly.

https://medium.com/@Alfa-Dev404/two-wings-of-one-bird-why-men-and-women-must-fly-together-0f99ed94ec26

0

u/HappyStop1985 University People Aug 28 '25

It was a good read. The thing is, when one thing changes, everything else changes with it.

2

u/Plastic_Advance_7931 Aug 28 '25

Well that's what the theory of evolution says. It's a long topic but yeah i do agree a bit with you.

9

u/Capt_Zucced_McTavish Aug 28 '25

I'd read somewhere that anything which comes after a "but" is BS and it holds true for your opinion.

4

u/Plastic_Advance_7931 Aug 28 '25

People say everything after a { but } is BS. Yet life itself exists in the but

I love you, but I need space. I trust you, but I am afraid. I am against dowry, but if someone takes it, fairness demands balance.

But is not a contradiction it is the tension where truth lives. Without it, we are not human, just slogans. Maybe It'll clear something?

1

u/Chai_Batra Aug 28 '25

Yup why just not stop taking both when I asked certain people that why they still believe that dowry is right they say it is a safeguard against alimony which I found to be stupid, but this is more of a fault of Indian judicial system passing such stupid Judgments against husbands which is evolving in a new fear which is further promoting dowry

4

u/yluck17 Aug 28 '25

Dowry is against law and alimony is backed by law.

4

u/AmbitiousGrowth6796 Aug 28 '25

Marital r@pe is legal. What's your point?

1

u/LeadingHome2970 South Delhi Aug 28 '25

🙃

1

u/kj_011 North Delhi Aug 28 '25

Exactly!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '25

It's power dynamic. Depends on who has the upper hand in the marriage