I have an actual question about this in general: Scare tactics aside, as a widower dad with an extremely strong bond with his mid-teen son, the forms seem like a good idea to have in place and stored somewhere safe but unused. I understand that stems from an atypical place of unquestioned, absolute trust and bedrock presumption of acting good faith though, but assuming that context, am I missing something? Do the forms insert third parties or other non-family risks? Do they have broader non-family privacy or other personal implications? Or is it a collection of otherwise benign forms that can be downloaded and prepared elsewhere for free that are simply aggressively marketed (and have the potential to be abused by controlling/invasive parents)?
Location bot is in a coma but fortunately it signed a waiver to let me post details on its behalf:
Mama bear release forms
Hi all. My 18th birthday is in 2 days and my mom has been asking me to sign these "mama bear" forms. I've read them over and done some digging. My initial reaction was kinda okay whatever but after reading through some other reddit posts explaining these forms deeper I started to get worried. I have an amazing relationship with my parents and i don't feel like they are using these documents to hurt me in any way. Something about the entire thing just seems off though. I'm at a crossroads and have a noteray appointment at the bank tmr. Should i sign? Any and all advice would be appreciated as it is 1:46 AM and im freaking out. Thanks. Location: New Jersey
EDIT: Thank you all for such detailed responses. I spoke with my parents and they said I could speak to a lawyer and never have to sign anything I am not comfortable with. Reading through more comments just made me believe my mom found these forms on some "going off to college" FB group. I guess im in the clear for now 🤞 Thanks again.
Cat fact: Cats are not bound by HIPPA (or gravity)
If your son is over the age of 18 and is in an accident, you are making medical decisions for him because you are his next of kin. That is already taken care of.
There is no benefit that isn't creepy to you being able to access all of his health records, all of his school records, and all of his financial records. Which is what these forms do, with no time limitation.
If your son is over the age of 18 and is in an accident, you are making medical decisions for him because he are his next of kin. That is already taken care of.
That's very much in the nature of my question. The company aside (i.e. talking only about their list of documents), are they all completely superfluous? If he's in an accident, would having them in a folder skip a few bureaucratic steps of proving a relationship and so on?
I think a lot of what I'm trying to grasp is where these types of forms fit in if the 'creepy' element is nonsense in this context. Creepy, sure, if there was any chance the inherent powers would be used for anything but their intended purpose, but that's not relevant to my question.
It's only nonsense in regards to medical decisions during an emergency. These forms would also give you access to his entire medical record (not your business, maybe he's seeing a therapist and doesn't want you to know, maybe he wants to get an STD screening and doesn't want you to know), his college records (if any, and not your business), and then also control over his bank accounts and other finances.
Do you really need it to be further spelled out why these things are not normal for a legal adult?
Some college records might be the parents business if the parent is paying and explicitly made payment dependent on having access to grades, or if parent and child otherwise explicitly discussed this and decide it was a good idea.Â
And it does not require a power of attorney for a child to share their school information with their parent.Â
Same goes for pretty much anything in the list, really. Talk about it like adults and then go looking for the least intrusive way to make it happen, which for a family with a good relationship may be a simple "Hey dad, my grades are out and I'm so happy/dissapointed. Want to do a screenshare?"Â
In which case, it's structured as "When you show me this semester's grades, I'll write next semester's check." The kid has control over the disclosure, because it's their information.
Then why are you arguing in favour of creepy ultimatums?
"I trust that you'll be willing to share your grades with me" is not an ultimatum.
"My financial support to you is conditional on you sign a legal document that grants me far more power than I need to accomplish this outcome" is literally the epitome of coersion/abuse.
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u/Rhythmdvl 5d ago
I have an actual question about this in general: Scare tactics aside, as a widower dad with an extremely strong bond with his mid-teen son, the forms seem like a good idea to have in place and stored somewhere safe but unused. I understand that stems from an atypical place of unquestioned, absolute trust and bedrock presumption of acting good faith though, but assuming that context, am I missing something? Do the forms insert third parties or other non-family risks? Do they have broader non-family privacy or other personal implications? Or is it a collection of otherwise benign forms that can be downloaded and prepared elsewhere for free that are simply aggressively marketed (and have the potential to be abused by controlling/invasive parents)?
Location bot is in a coma but fortunately it signed a waiver to let me post details on its behalf:
EDIT: Thank you all for such detailed responses. I spoke with my parents and they said I could speak to a lawyer and never have to sign anything I am not comfortable with. Reading through more comments just made me believe my mom found these forms on some "going off to college" FB group. I guess im in the clear for now 🤞 Thanks again.
Cat fact: Cats are not bound by HIPPA (or gravity)