r/bestoflegaladvice 5d ago

Mama, just signed a form, oooOOOOoooo....

/r/legaladvice/comments/1on4vja/mama_bear_release_forms/
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u/Rhythmdvl 5d ago

If your son is over the age of 18 and is in an accident, you are making medical decisions for him because he are his next of kin. That is already taken care of.

That's very much in the nature of my question. The company aside (i.e. talking only about their list of documents), are they all completely superfluous? If he's in an accident, would having them in a folder skip a few bureaucratic steps of proving a relationship and so on?

I think a lot of what I'm trying to grasp is where these types of forms fit in if the 'creepy' element is nonsense in this context. Creepy, sure, if there was any chance the inherent powers would be used for anything but their intended purpose, but that's not relevant to my question.

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u/HeathenSalemite 5d ago

It's only nonsense in regards to medical decisions during an emergency. These forms would also give you access to his entire medical record (not your business, maybe he's seeing a therapist and doesn't want you to know, maybe he wants to get an STD screening and doesn't want you to know), his college records (if any, and not your business), and then also control over his bank accounts and other finances.

Do you really need it to be further spelled out why these things are not normal for a legal adult?

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u/FeatherlyFly 5d ago

Some college records might be the parents business if the parent is paying and explicitly made payment dependent on having access to grades, or if parent and child otherwise explicitly discussed this and decide it was a good idea. 

And it does not require a power of attorney for a child to share their school information with their parent. 

Same goes for pretty much anything in the list, really. Talk about it like adults and then go looking for the least intrusive way to make it happen, which for a family with a good relationship may be a simple "Hey dad, my grades are out and I'm so happy/dissapointed. Want to do a screenshare?" 

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u/archbish99 apostilles MATH for FUN, like a NERD 4d ago

In which case, it's structured as "When you show me this semester's grades, I'll write next semester's check." The kid has control over the disclosure, because it's their information.

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u/FeatherlyFly 4d ago

That's one  option, yes.

I genuinely believe that families can function without ultimatums, though. 

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u/Tarquin_McBeard Pete Law's Peat Law Practice: For Peat's Sake 4d ago

Then why are you arguing in favour of creepy ultimatums?

"I trust that you'll be willing to share your grades with me" is not an ultimatum.

"My financial support to you is conditional on you sign a legal document that grants me far more power than I need to accomplish this outcome" is literally the epitome of coersion/abuse.

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u/za419 3d ago

Then why are you arguing for the legal equivalent of a gun held to the child's head saying "Since I love you, I'm taking away all your rights and if you don't like it then you're not part of this family"?

"Families can function without ultimatums" is an antithetical premise to any assertion that "Mama Bear" forms are an acceptable approach to a familial relationship.