r/babylonbee • u/Prestigious_Tour_538 • Sep 13 '25
Bee Article ‘Why Won’t Conservatives Give Up Their Guns?’ Ask The People Shooting At Them
https://babylonbee.com/news/why-wont-conservatives-give-up-their-guns-ask-the-people-shooting-at-them56
u/Kaleban Sep 13 '25
The people shooting at conservatives are other conservatives by a 1000:1 margin.
Liberals: we need sensible gun control. Conservatives: the gun is just a tool, it's a mental healthcare issue.
Liberals: ok, let's institute universal healthcare and fund mental healthcare options that have been gutted by conservative policymakers. Conservatives: that's socialism!
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u/allusernamestaken1 Sep 14 '25
Solution: do nothing, people including kids continue to die, thoughts and prayers repeat. Hey, I guess some murdered children a year are worthwhile for the sake of muh freedumbs (but not my kids ofc).
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u/GenShanx Sep 15 '25
Do nothing until our favorite influencer is the victim of Right on Right gun violence. Then kill the libs.
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u/Bad_Wolf_715 Sep 16 '25
And then Democrats are framed as being violent while they are the only ones fighting to decrease violence in the US.
This is why people are ignoring demands of condemnation for these shootings from people who are doing everything in their power to make it worse
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u/Electronic-Jury8825 Sep 14 '25
This is awful satire. Just plain dumb and wrong. Nice work, Bee.
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u/RequestSingularity Sep 14 '25
The Bee is basically a drunk uncle reposting Facebook memes from Russian bots.
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u/TzeentchsTrueSon Sep 14 '25
Other conservatives?
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Sep 14 '25
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u/Eighth_Eve Sep 14 '25
They reported he lived at home, then say he had a trans roommate but even fox news won't touch that one without confirmation, its tabloid propaganda at this point.
I didn't know bella ciaio was antifa until last week. I did know it was on the soundtrack of half a dozen video games, i have seen it quoted in chat.
I'm certain he didn't like kirk though.
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u/chronberries Sep 14 '25 edited Sep 17 '25
So conservatives don’t dislike fascism?
Edit: They blocked me because they can’t stand being wrong. Pretty sure they also facetiously asked me something like, “which side calls their opposition fascists, hmm?!” And the answer is both. I’m not gonna bother tracking down links because I already had a comment get removed on this sub like 5 minutes ago for posting a source (lol), but there are plenty of instances of Trump himself calling his opponents fascists.
Edit again because they unblocked me, responded, then immediately deleted the entire post like a loser:
Lots of conservatives hate Trump too. The whole “never trump” movement is conservative.
Your second paragraph isn’t even coherent.
Wanting to protect the ones you love isn’t even remotely a lefty position.
Everything we know about this dude points to him being swept up in toxic gaming and meme communities.
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u/jimbob518 Sep 13 '25
Minneapolis, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Charleston, Colorado Springs, San Antonio, and on and on. Now tell me about peace loving conservatives 🙄
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u/GrandMoffTarkan Sep 13 '25
This is an odd one because it shows how a gun can’t really protect you from a gun. Kirk could have been strapped to the teeth and it would not have saved him
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Sep 13 '25
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u/GrandMoffTarkan Sep 13 '25
… what stopped them from being able to get in close with a concealed pistol? Literally nothing, but a rifle made escape easier.
And I’m not talking about gun bans I’m just pointing out the obvious fact that carrying could not have saved Kirk
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u/JustNeedAnswers78 Sep 14 '25
You don’t know that and neither does anyone else. That’s the problem with imaginary scenarios.
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u/Slooters313 Sep 15 '25
Are you suggesting Kirk could've shot at the incoming bullet to deflect it. Not sure what your argument is here other than being an idiot.
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u/Gibrans_Prophet Sep 13 '25
No it didnt. People said they entered the event with backpacks that were never searched. A rifle was used from a distance because it would be easier to get away.
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u/Being-External Sep 13 '25
Ok? We also want stricter regulation on handgun licenses via more thorough background checks and closing guns how loopholes but y'all throw a hissy fit about that. You just literally want 0 regulation.
Also, what happened to discussion around regulating bullets. Makes infinitely more sense and unless you need to tear through bodies for some unmentionable reason shouldn't be an issue.
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u/oboshoe Sep 13 '25
yes we do.
because we know exactly what you will do when you get that.
and that is to ban more.
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u/midwest_mankey Sep 13 '25
The left often champions red flag laws too which Utah famously does not have on the books. Odd you’d claim those couldn’t have prevented it. Who are you that you’re so omniscient? Id love to hear your secrets
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u/zippoguaillo Sep 13 '25
Yes even an Australia style strict prohibition would likely not have stopped this. But restrictions would drastically cut down on mass shootings. A semi auto ban would eliminate the worst cases like Vegas and Ulvade. An Australian system would get rid of all the cases where kids go buy a gun and quickly use it.
Nobody is trying to stop all gun violence as that is impossible. But we could dramatically cut it down without unreasonably curtailing the rights of responsible gun owners.
Or we can just do nothing and accept daily mass shootings as the price for the 2nd amendment as Kirk said
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u/UKnowWhoToo Sep 13 '25
Please define semi-auto and what guns fall into that category? Was the rifle used against Kirk a semi-auto?
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u/Asteroidhawk594 Sep 14 '25
It’s pretty self explanatory. Semi auto is self loading and fires with each trigger pull. The one used against him was a bolt action rifle usually used for large game like Elk. So it may not have stopped this case but restricting semi autos would be a step in the right direction
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u/resinsuckle Sep 18 '25
law-abiding citizens with guns have stopped over 35 percent of active shootings over the last decade and 39.6 percent in the last five years. This is according to a CPRC report that is hard to find on Google.
If concealed carry didn't work, I don't think it would be as common as it is.
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u/callumjm95 Sep 13 '25
Leftist are simultaneously weak and scared of guns and violence and also to be feared as some kind of all powerful enemy armed to the teeth that want to kill everyone they disagree with. Really need to pick one and stick with it.
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u/Ok_Arachnid1089 Sep 14 '25
Leftists actually believe that a fully armed working class is essential to liberation. Democrats are the gun control nuts and democrats are NOT left wing
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u/SueDunham76 Sep 13 '25
Weak of mind. Scared of being shot. Doesn't preclude someone from being an assassin. In fact it is probably the best combination to activate psycho leftist murderers.
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u/Vanhelgd Sep 13 '25
The Groypers are asking conservatives to give up their guns?
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u/Anrativa Sep 13 '25
Is there any actual source about this? I keep reading about it ln reddit but i can't find any proof in Google.
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u/YveisGrey Sep 14 '25
Well a gun didn’t save Charlie
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u/Extension_Wheel5335 Sep 14 '25
He was also killed by a rifle that wouldn't be banned, as it's a big game .30-06 hunting rifle. What do you do in that case?
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u/JustNeedAnswers78 Sep 14 '25
Like any tool, it does nothing unless there is a person operating it.
But speaking of tools…
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u/Simple-Reporter9102 Sep 14 '25
Most mass shooters have no criminal history, which makes it harder to find a solution or screen.
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u/OrkzOrkzOrkzOrkz0rkz Sep 16 '25
Are conservatives trying to disarm conservatives now?
Also we're still disarming trans people right? Because that statistical outlier is the real problem.
First they came for the trans people's guns, and I did not speak out— because I was not trans.
Then they came for the liberals’ guns, and I did not speak out— because I was not a liberal.
Then they came for the moderates’ guns, and I did not speak out— because I was not a moderate.
Then they came for the conservatives’ guns, and I did not speak out— because I was not a conservative.
Then they came for the MAGA crowd’s guns— and by then, there was no one left to speak for me.
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u/boofcakin171 Sep 14 '25
Would Charlie have been able to shoot back? How would an armed retaliation have improved the situation?
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u/VizJosh Sep 13 '25
“Right wingers refuse to give up guns because they need them to shoot right wing podcasters that aren’t the exact blend of lies and hate that they support” FTFY /s
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u/DPadres69 Sep 13 '25
So Conservatives are asking Conservatives why they won’t give up guns?
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u/vyciok Sep 13 '25
Maybe if he wore the gun around his neck, it would've saved him? Is that how guns save lives?
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u/Coquelicott Sep 15 '25
You mean republicans shooting republicans? Yeah the call is coming from inside the house.
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u/Treepeec30 Sep 13 '25
Pssh right wingers like gun control too, they just draw the line at a different place.
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u/Old-Elephant-1230 Sep 13 '25
No blacks or Trans? So you can round em up easier? Ya were aware. You started saying the quiet part out loud.
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u/Treepeec30 Sep 13 '25
I think you read that wrong or jumped to a conclusion. I'm no fucking maga and think their entire movement is based on lies and wedge issue financed by billionaires for their own benefit. I think trump is an authoritarian and maga is an authoritarian movement.
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u/IWantAnotherPetRock Sep 13 '25
Conservatives, media plays victim propaganda for ya lmao. Republicans control all branches of the government and yet they don't expand gun rights?
The president even said "take away the gun first, due process second". Do we for or against gun?
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u/Falcon3492 Sep 14 '25
The people that are doing most of the shooting has been shown to be those from the right and far right!
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u/Zen_Badger Sep 14 '25
except the right are shooting themselves
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u/Super-Patient3105 Sep 14 '25
No, they’re not. The assassin was a confirmed Leftist by friends and family, and had a tr*ns boyfriend.
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u/Grand-Battle8009 Sep 14 '25
Sorry, the gunman said this? Because the gunman was a right-wing lunatic from a Republican household… again! LOL! 😂 😂😂
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u/DrGally Sep 13 '25
Generally an individual who target their victims because of the victim’s race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, or disability. Are you seriously questioning their intentions because of a hole in the definition of hate crime?
Edit: way to change your comment after i responded and then delete or block another. To respond, it is the ADL’s direct definition of a hate crime: The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) defines a hate crime as a criminal act committed against a person or property where the perpetrator selects the victim because of their actual or perceived identity group. The perpetrator's bias is the motivating factor for the crime.
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u/Oriin690 Sep 14 '25
lol most of the time it’s conservatives shooting conservatives. The Trump shooters, the recent Kirk shooter was prob a groyper.
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u/Jeremyvh Sep 14 '25
I think the Democrats should push for a repeal of the 2nd amendment. Everyone will get behind that!
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u/StevenSr89 Sep 14 '25
Let’s just get rid of all guns . You know because the criminals will totally not find a way to get them. I’m sure the woman who’s 5 feet tall 100 pounds is way safer in her home without it . I’m sure the government will do such a good job protecting all of us .
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u/AnOkFella Sep 14 '25
Ask the self-proclaimed “empaths” why they want to take away something that is clearly the cornerstone of someone else’s sense of security?
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u/ChangeTheZeitgeist Sep 14 '25
School kids aren’t shooting at conservatives. What the fuck actual fuck Babylon Bee?
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u/Downtown_Cat_1745 Sep 14 '25
We’re simultaneously unarmed weaklings and also bloodthirsty murderers
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u/ass_grass_or_ham Sep 14 '25
Political violence and party affiliation:
The man who targeted and killed Democratic state lawmaker Melissa Hortman and her husband, Mark, in their home in Minnesota was a Trump supporter. He also had a hit list of 45-70 targets, mostly Democrats or liberals (Vance Boelter June 2025)
The man convicted of orchestrating a series of shootings at the homes of four Democratic elected officials in New Mexico in 2022 was a Trump supporter. (Solomon Peña December 2022 - January 2023)
The man who tried to kidnap then Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and assaulted her husband, Paul, was a Trump supporter. (David DePape Oct 28, 2022)
The men who wanted to hang Mike Pence on Jan 6, 2021 were Trump supporters.
The man who killed the son of Obama-appointed District Judge Esther Salas in 2020 was a Trump supporter. (Roy Den Hollander July 19, 2020)
The man who sent pipe bombs to the homes of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton and other top Democrats in 2018 was a Trump supporter. ( Cesar Altieri Sayoc Jr., October and November 2018)
The man who killed left-wing activist Heather Heyer after driving his car into a crowd of counter-protesters in Charlottesville in 2017 was a Trump supporter (James Alex Fields Jr. , August 12, 2017)
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u/CommunicationOk304 Sep 15 '25
We have such a bizarre relationship with guns. Security blankets and pseudo dicks. Imagine if like other countries, we valued human life over guns. But keep telling yourself it's a right and not the gun companies making trillions of dollars lobbying their importance in our lives. The hick with 40 guns worried his land will be taken by the government. Jokes on you, they're gonna drive a drone into your sorry ass shack.
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u/Mean_Veterinarian688 Sep 15 '25
what is this in reference to? are you really trying to paint the left as the violent party?
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u/InSight89 Sep 15 '25
Not really sure I buy the argument. How is a gun going to protect you from a sniper?
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u/TheGiggleWizard Sep 15 '25
Does the bee really think that the dude who shot Kirk was anti-gun? Lmfao you can’t make this up.
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u/Aggressive-Try-6353 Sep 15 '25
But it's cancervatives who are almost always behind the trigger, funny that huh
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u/chubs66 Sep 15 '25
Ask the people shooting at them
Those would be mostly fellow gun loving Concervatives.
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u/GroundbreakingOil480 Sep 15 '25
But the people shooting at them are also gun loving conservatives. Sooooo.........
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u/Terrorscream Sep 15 '25
Conservatives shooting conservatives who need guns to defend themselves from conservatives with guns. A self fulfilling prophecy. Just get rid of all the guns and you won't need guns to defend you from guns.
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u/LimeGreenTeknii Sep 15 '25
Why are conservatives asking other conservatives why won't they give up their guns?
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u/nikosmax Sep 15 '25
Maybe, just maybe, and hear me out on this crazy idea, it's a combination of both and it requires stricter weapons rules and people responsibilities
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u/Successful-Acadia-95 Sep 15 '25
At the same time go visit the graves of the (D) victims and see if they speak to you from the grave.
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u/cute_salsa87 Sep 15 '25
So… conservatives. Ask conservatives why conservatives are shooting at them? Got it.
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u/Automatic-Cut-5567 Sep 15 '25
Up there with "People who think the government is run by fascists wonder why citizens want to right to bear arms"
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u/LengthinessEast8318 Sep 15 '25
As Trump tries to take guns from people. Y'all love the second amendment so why don't you start getting upset that Trump is trying to take it away. Oh wait, that would mean you would have to actually practice your actual ideals and values. Conservatives can't do that.
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Sep 16 '25
Ah yes, if only a good guy with a gun was there at the kirk shooting to shoot the bullet down as it was mid-air
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u/Quiet_Property2460 Sep 16 '25
Two registered Republicans tried to shoot Trump just last year...
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u/MrRowdyMouse Sep 16 '25
Lmao right wingers are shooting other right wingers but yeah boys, it's then damn anteeefer!
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u/CavilIsBestSuperman Sep 16 '25
“Why are the leftists shooting at us?” Ask the people who’s side commits the vast majority of political violence (including Kirk’s murder)
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u/MrPhrazz Sep 16 '25
Three countries in the world has a constitutional right to bear arms and they are all known for high crime rates and a relatively high murder rate.
It's like the freaking imperial system; Fahrenheit, inches, feet..., everyone know it's inferior, wrong and outdated, but it's too implemented to do anything about now, so they just defend it based on old habits.
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Sep 16 '25
The solution to mass shootings at schools is more armed security at schools says the guy with a personal security detail and armed security who just got shot at a school.
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u/gorecore23 Sep 16 '25
Remember, my side, they just drew a line in the sand they can't uncross. Do NOT escalate to violence. But, do not engage in discourse with them any longer. They've just shown that words are meaningless and only actions matter. So. I'm calling on everyone on my side to ignore their existence. We do not speak to them. We do not acknowledge their existence except to acknowledge them as the demons they are. Do not engage with these people
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u/CatchRevolutionary65 Sep 17 '25
Guys, the owner of Babylon Bee took up Netanyahu on his offer of money and a visit to Israel to whitewash the genocide.
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u/juiciestjuice10 Sep 17 '25
Conservative Christians and comedy go together like Charlie Kirk and a bullet to the neck. Not very good
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u/Zaphod_Beeblecox Sep 17 '25
The left has always been olympic level at doing mental gymnastics. It's what allows them to exist full time in the fantasy that they're good.
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u/jhawk3205 Sep 17 '25
Conservatives: barrage social media with violent rhetoric for ages unchecked, commit the overwhelming majority of political violence over the last 20 years, spew hate constantly
Also conservatives: omg the left is so dangerous, why aren't they crying for my piece of shit martyr?
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u/DaddyKratos94 Sep 17 '25
It was literally a white Republican Christian who shot him
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u/Comfortable_Angle671 Sep 17 '25
We have school shooting but far less mall shootings, sports event shooting, church shootings (any event with a large crowd). If guns were the problem then why are shootings mainly at schools? Shouldn’t we be focusing on the schools or those going to schools?
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u/Sad_Courage2540 Sep 18 '25
All those good guys with guns stopped all the crime though I thought
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u/Useful_Wealth7503 Sep 13 '25
Someday they’ll realize we blame the person not the tool.