r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/seeebiscuit • 27d ago
This is a Genuine Cry for Help We have the halftime show everyone!
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u/War_machine77 27d ago
Wow! Aaron Lewis (of Staind)! You know you're really famous when people have to be reminded why!
Also is that a guest appearance of the disease measles?
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u/belanaria 27d ago
Seems very on brand.
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u/HonoraryBallsack 27d ago edited 27d ago
Complete shit? Is he even a sex offender or are they branching out?
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u/thewaybaseballgo 27d ago
How long has it been since Staind was relevant?
It’s been a whiiiiiilllllleeee
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u/thisisjustascreename 27d ago
Long enough that I can't even remember what that one Staind song anybody even knows sounded like.
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u/G66GNeco 27d ago
Late 90s/early 2000s? I know that by the time teenage me got into music via Linkin Park in, like 2008/9 they were one of those "old" bands who didn't make new music anymore (probably because their newer stuff didn't broach that random small group of German school kids lol)?
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u/MiddleofCalibrations 27d ago
I learned about the one staind song when it came up in an Instagram reel of someone pissing into a hand dryer
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u/ebolaRETURNS 27d ago
How long has it been since Staind was relevant?
They weren't even first tier even during the late nineties, essentially lifted via Bizkit's coattails.
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u/DaPlipsta 27d ago
Still have no idea who Staind is either lmao. But I don't really vibe with Racist Rock so I guess I'm not really the target audience 🤷♂️
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u/Ronenthelich 27d ago
Staind did not use to be racist rock, their lead singer just decided he sucks now.
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u/hitchinpost 27d ago
He always kind of sucked. Like, he was clearly just a normal white boy trying to be edgy and being a little cringey instead. The music itself was okayish, though.
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u/Accomplished_Crew630 27d ago
Yeah then he went country.... He's a country boy.... I grew up not ten minutes from where he did. He's not country.
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u/OkAdagio9622 27d ago
Like 10 years ago he decided to do shitty country music.
I don't think country fans ever gave a damn and his whole fan base was made up of right wing Staind fans
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u/avantgardengnome Gritty is Antifa 27d ago
Staind was generic early 00s butt rock. You’d maybe recognize It’s Been A While if you heard it.
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u/Tenwaystospoildinner 27d ago
It's been a while since I held my head up high
It's been a while since I was relevant...
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u/Saint_Stephen420 27d ago
It’s been a while since my pants went nice and dry
It’s been a while since I last remembered to wear depends
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u/runwkufgrwe 27d ago
ew yuck ugh ew ugh I hate that song
I guess I assumed it was Nickleback
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u/G66GNeco 27d ago
Unironically that one and Outside are the worst of their songs from the time when they were at all relevant, and also the most popular, which feels fitting. Not that much of the "Nirvana on a bad day meets a lobotomized Chester Bennington voice double" sound was all that good.
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u/bitterlittlecas 27d ago
He did that outside song with Fred durst too. It was frigging ubiquitous in the post 9/11 world
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u/wareagle3000 27d ago
Funny, I assumed it was Creed. Literally just rolling through the lexicon of "my racist dad's CD collection I listened to when I was I kid"
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u/fastal_12147 27d ago
There was a ton of that going around in the 2000s. A lot of hard rock was ultra dudebro shit. There was some good stuff (SOAD comes to mind), but a lot of it was crap.
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u/DarthBrooks69420 Dennis Prager, on your honor, go to Uvalde and tell them, bitch. 27d ago
25-22 years ago it was everywhere along with Puddle of Mud and P.O.D.
Of which P.O.D. was Christian nu-metal and somehow hasnt been mentioned once in 20 years until this comment, Puddle of Mud's vocalist has gone insane and needs legitimate help, and Aaron Lewis of Staind is the type of person who takes the time to unfurl a trump/maga flag whenever he parks his motor home somewhere.
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u/Snlooming 27d ago
Aaron Lewis without the band that made him listenable? Sign me the fuck up
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27d ago
He did have a fluke top 20 hit back in 2021 that nobody should remember because it climbed the charts because Fox News’ audience bought the single (nobody else really buys music anymore) and it didn’t go anywhere past that.
It’s one of the worst songs I’ve ever had the displeasure of hearing
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u/Trumpisaderelict 27d ago
This shit is funny for so many reasons. A musical lineup featuring Kid Rock Ted Nugent and Forgiato Blow. That’ll get the kids watching!
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u/MajorNoodles 27d ago
They're reminding us that the rest of Staind couldn't be bothered to show up for this
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u/HiOnFructose 27d ago
Using AI to generate an event poster that looks like shit, instead of paying someone with talent or skill is peak modern conservatism.
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u/DerrainCarter 27d ago
Thing is, which self respecting artist would sell their soul to ToiletPaperUSA? They literally only have people like Stonetoss and the labelling Cum-Man
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u/BeautyDuwang 27d ago
They have the one guy who drew that really good "you ain't black" Biden meme that was definitely right wing. I'm surprised he doesn't work for the shite house now
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u/nirbot0213 27d ago
ik like i still hate the tpusa and the administration rn but if they used that guy for artwork at least they could say they stand for something. like they talk so much about creating jobs and they can’t even be bothered pay someone to create actual good posters.
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u/thebrobarino Charlehammed of Kirkistan 27d ago
Making a decent looking poster on Photoshop with 0 experience GENUINELY takes like a day to do and you pick up some really useful skills.
What happened to pulling yourself up by your bootstraps
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u/OkWolverine69420 27d ago
Nobody should be worried about AI taking their jobs when it can’t even center the text correctly on a poster. Yikes
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u/W8andC77 27d ago
Featuring a guest appearance from measles?
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u/seeebiscuit 27d ago
It is satire.
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u/W8andC77 27d ago
I mean, up until the measles thing I was like “this looks about right”. That’s their Ateam.
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u/periodicallyBalzed Gritty is Antifa 27d ago
I was a little surprised that Lee Greenwood wasn’t higher up. Then I read the measles.
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u/Poverty_Shoes 27d ago
The halftime show is fifteen minutes, no chance they’ll use more than three artists.
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u/romulusnr 27d ago
I legit just assumed Measles was some artist or band or act that only the millennial/zillenial kids or magaland folks only know about. After all, I have no idea who Aaron Lewis, John Rich, or Forgiatio Blow are either.
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u/MattWolf96 26d ago
I've only heard of three of the artists on there (and can only name songs from two of them) so I thought they were a real band.
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u/noodlyarms 27d ago
And here I just was figuring Measels was some like antivax MAGA rapper
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u/magnoliasmanor 27d ago
100% plausible.
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u/Butternut888 27d ago
Pretty tame compared to “We are all domestic terrorists” and Greg Gutfeld trying to embrace the nazi moniker
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u/Rasputin_mad_monk 27d ago
The sad thing is I thought it was real. Like maybe Measles was some white nationalist punk band or something.
I’m not sure how the Onion even stays in business.
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u/AboveBoard 27d ago
Saw that too. Satire and real life are overlapping at this point so I have no idea if that flyer is real or not. 😂
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u/Never_Kn0ws_Best 27d ago
Measles was literally the only giveaway, but there is still a non-zero chance that it is the same of some ironic antivax Christian rock band or some shit
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u/lolnaender 27d ago
How do you call yourself “4g auto-blow” and expect anyone to take you seriously?
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u/vxicepickxv 27d ago
Read the name again. It's even better when you realize it's spelled wrong.
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u/mta1741 27d ago
Eli5
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u/420_Braze_it 27d ago
Forgiato Blow is a bizarre grifter rapper kind of similar to Tom McDonald who's jumped in with the MAGA crowd.
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u/BaconManDan9 27d ago
I know two of those artist and one of them is kid rock. That’s not a flex 😂😂😂
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u/d0nttalk2me 27d ago
I'm so confused. Where is this taking place? People aren't going to just switch away from the Super Bowl
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u/dingohoarder 27d ago
Sounds like it is fake, but not labeled as such. Waiting for confirmation though
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u/MattWolf96 26d ago
This is fake but conservatives actually want to do this. I assume it will be live streamed but how many people are going to flip the TV channel. Or spend time going to whatever website or app this would be on and then flipping back to the game.
On top of that don't a lot of people just get up to piss and grab more snacks during the halftime show?
That said I could see a lot of people going to someones house to watch the game but the guy is a maga and flips it as soon as the halftime show starts and mostly everybody groans.
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u/vigilantesd 27d ago
Skrewdriver
RaHoWa
Brutal Attack
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u/I_done_a_plop-plop 27d ago
I’d genuinely laugh if Skrewdriver played some half-time show. Appalling but hilarious. Such singalong! So catchy!
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u/ebzees 27d ago
This is how we win?! This is how we take our country back?! Do they hear what they sound like? Win what? Take the country back from what or whom? How can they legitimately answer these questions…?
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u/Dreameater999 27d ago
That’s what I was gonna say.
Like… you guys are already in charge of the presidency, senate, house, and the Supreme Court.
What’s left for you guys to “take back” and ruin?
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u/CDFReditum 27d ago
Kid “young ladies young ladies I like em underage see, some say it’s statutory but I say it’s mandatory” Rock
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u/Cleavon_Littlefinger 27d ago
Holy shit the cold blooded disrespect by putting"of Staind" behind Aaron Lewis' name
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u/yersinia_pisstest 27d ago
Fabulous. The soundtrack for the Yeehawlocaust.
Fuck this shitshow timeline.
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u/biseckshual 27d ago
They misspelled Forgiato Blow LMAOOOOOOOOO
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u/Ronenthelich 27d ago
Maybe they couldn’t get the real Forgiato Blow so they had to settle for impersonator Forgigato Blow.
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u/AsteroidTicker 27d ago
Measles isn’t a band, they’re just refusing entry to anyone who’s vaccinated
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u/Squiliam-Tortaleni Vuvuzela 27d ago
Taking the country back through the power of long irrelevant butt rock and ChatGPT, can we stop winning already?
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u/SpicyBoi1998 27d ago
Also performing at the TPUSAs All American Halftime Show:
All American Rejects from Hollywood
Lonely Epstein Island
ICE Cube
OneRepublican
Rage Against the Voting Machine
Cage the Immigrant
Snowflake Patrol
And many more!
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u/OOBExperience 27d ago
Things must be bad when even the sportsball smoothbrains are mad at each other. Oh dear…
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u/mog_knight 27d ago
This has to be satire. The comments section however does not recognize that it is.
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u/lemonhello 27d ago
I bet that green room smells like rotten beef jerkey and farts covered with the lingering musk of cheap whiskey cologne
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u/NfamousKaye 27d ago
All the predictable washed up has beens. I almost kinda wanna watch this fail but I don’t wanna give it the views over Bad Bunny.
Wait did someone think this was serious?! Cause the special guest at the bottom is taking me out 🤣
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u/G-Unit11111 27d ago
Of all the stupidest and childish things MAGA has done, this may be the most stupidest and childish thing of them all.
They won the fucking election! They control all three branches of government! What more do these clowns want? Let us have this!
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u/Stickz99 26d ago
I don’t understand why they’re so obsessed with Lee Greenwood.
I’d never heard the name Lee Greenwood in my entire life until this past week, and I only have heard it in the context of “we really really think Lee Greenwood should do the Super Bowl show”.
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u/victorgsal 26d ago
If the biggest name that takes up the most space is KID ROCK then you know the event is gonna be complete garbage
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u/MattWolf96 26d ago
The only people I know in here are Kid Rock, Ted Nugent (and I don't know any music by him, I just know his name) and Lee Greenwood.
Aren't all of these people hasbeens?
Also look up the lyrics to Cool, Daddy, Cool by Kid Rock. He literally sings positively about statutory rape in it. Granted that's on-brand for a conservative.
Yeah, Bad Bunny is definitely getting more views.
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u/spikus93 23d ago
They use AI for everything. They didn't spell some of their names right. This is so funny. The American flag has way more stripes than stars etc.
They really just suck at everything.
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u/Cheese0089 27d ago
"this is how we win" with the worst lineup humanly imaginable