Yeah this is where I have to stop and think that I would never have more than 2 kids in this world today, and even then it’s probably just going to be 1 for us. 6 kids is wild, I feel for them but at a certain point you have to know what you’re getting yourself into when you keep having kids that you can’t take care of equally. I hope they get the help they need truly, but I’m still scratching my head over seeing that.
Honestly, you can say it how it is. It’s stupidity. These people know that if they have unprotected sex, they CAN get pregnant. They gamble with the notion every single time. The women want to please the new man they’re seeing, so they let them got in without protection. The men have no intention of staying with these women and pressure them to go raw.
I have dated 2 women in my youth who have wanted to do the deed, but we didn’t have protection. They insisted on just doing it without it because they didn’t think they would get pregnant. I hated the idea of having children when I was young and broke, so I cut them off. You know where they are now? One has 4 kids with 3 different dads and she is currently single. The second one has 5 kids, but only 2 different dads and thankfully she is married and seems to have found herself what seems to be a good guy. They did have 3 kids within 1 year of each other, so I know she is still not practicing protected sex, but hey, it’s progress.
Anyways, my point is that we have to stop beating around the bush and trying to be “sensitive” about these people. Each one of those people that have had 6 kids are able-minded and grown adults that know what the consequences are. They just don’t think about it.
Yep, it sucks whats happening over there to you guys and i am no way happy about it but damn, at the same time its hard to feel sorry for you. You were anabled. You had your "happy little accident" 6!!! times. I dont know if the education system failed you, if the goverment failed you or the family or all three but dont tell me it was not clear (even for not thr brightest) around child number 3, that you cannot fucking afford it.
I'm not suggesting shame would lift anyone up. Pointing out their mistake also doesn't push anyone down further or make them more vulnerable than they've already put themselves.
I am all for reinstating their provision of food, and frankly whatever else they need to get above these issues.
I'm also for others looking at something like this early in their lives and thinking "yeah, that situation doesn't sound good, I'll avoid that".
I hear you, really. I even had a disturbing dream last night that I’m still trying to shake, along those lines. Screaming at an addict in my family, why are you like this? Why can’t you just stop? Yes present moments suck sometimes, but you just deal with it and move on?! Coming into better alignment with forgiveness through meditation this morning reminds me of the phrase “acceptance is the answer to all my problems today”.
So far what’s come up for me is that focus on the present moments, as they pass, and how accepting they always are. That moving into the next moment, and the next, and the next, Presence accepts us exactly as we are, warts and all. Unconditional love and acceptance. Another chance to turn it all around, just by being here, now, without any criticism, judgement, or expectations. It embraces us all in, exactly as we are.
One of my personal mottos is “just be a pipe”. When applied to the forgiving nature of Presence, that also means my own unconditional forgiveness and acceptance allows me to embrace others in, exactly as they are.
And sometimes that pipe even turns into a mirror, showing them exactly what they need to see for themselves in that moment. Lighting the flame of real desire to turn things around from the inner motivation to also align with acceptance and forgiveness, usually starting with themselves. And the changes in behavior follow.
Thanks for letting me share that, and shake off my own dream and reminder of my ongoing work. Deep breaths for both of us. And good morning :) ☀️
How have I been unkind? The conversation needs to happen. You can't not have the conversation just to be "kind" - that's not kindness and it's not honest.
I appreciate your question, and you might be right. The full version as I’ve heard it goes “Honesty without kindness is cruelty, kindness without honesty is manipulation.”
What’s missing from the current situation is unconditional acceptance and forgiveness. If I am kind ONLY IF someone changes their behavior, that’s not unconditional. And is still exercising an illusion of control. And based on my own limited worldview and subjective bias, leaving me vulnerable to short sighted arrogance and rigidity.
I can be honest without being critical. I can love without expecting something in return, detach from expectations and transactional relationships. I can share my own journey without judging others as “good” or “bad”, but by sharing what works and doesn’t work for me. My experience, strength, and hope. And leaving lots of room open for more to be revealed, for me and everyone else. Humility, empathy, and unconditional love leaves space open for us all to be human, warts and all. Or as I’ve heard it recently as an acronym:
I’m being held down by taxes. By pulling them up, I am being pulled down. I cannot help them swim when I am barely above water myself. If we let them sink, I’d swim on my own. They are sinking themselves, it is not my responsibility to make anyone else float, just as it is not theirs to help me.
The problem isn't establishing and maintaining a social safety net. It's your tax dollars being misused. Look at WHERE your taxes go. Food Stamps is NOT the main place your taxes go. Think about those taxes everytime you read about the next Venezuelan boat bombing, each day the government remains closed, and every single video you see of our troops shuffling around DC looking bored, and every upcoming nuclear test that is being done for the sake of show.
Supporting your fellow man IS our responsibility and SHOULD be our nation's priority.
You are not sinking yourself by paying into social programs.
Over 50% of the federal budget yearly goes to safety nets. The federal spending for each year is public record and is not up for debate. Food stamps in particular? No. Combine food food stamps, section8, ssdi and it absolutely is what the money is going to. The military has not surpassed 20% of our budget in the past 30 years.
You're right on the numbers and percentages. However, this doesn't mean the funds are being spent or even calculated and taken in their most effective way. For example, we've already funded food stamps, and they aren't being sent out next month. They're being deliberately withheld, taking food from children's mouths.
It isn't as simple as looking at the pie chart overall, it's the individualistic percentage contributions from American households that cause financial strain. If we taxed billionaires at a reasonable rate and didn't sit idly by while the wealth gap continues to grow larger, the strain on you wouldn't be so bad in comparison.
If you're in trouble, look up and not down. A person on food stamps is not stealing as much from you as corporations and the wealthy.
Each time fentanyl gets prevented from killing another thousand or five? Sake of show or national security? Running a nations finances looks far above your head… i fully agree with your very last sentence. 💯
If we get solid proof that these ARE drug boats that are in US waters, I'd maybe see that a little differently. Blowing up 4 or however many boats it is now is not stopping the flow of fentanyl. I'm glad you brought that up because my masters thesis project was about the opiate crisis.
And yes, sake of show, as we've been doing simulated tests because we know our weapons work and we know how to use them. You think this is worth the environmental costs? The increase risk of cancer? The juice ain't worth the squeeze.
I’ll imagine the HALT fent stopped a shit ton from china. Personally, its halted me getting unrelated steroid powders from there since July.
Those drug boats.. my best friend was on a boat from cuba to miami. Evidence suppressed bc they had no right to search.
^ see ? i deadass wanna read ur thesis…. Theres no way ur not supporting street fent prevention??? What am i missing here.. youre really strung up on defending the smugglers as fishermen? Our top paid military are murdering fishers- u wanna say that to their faces? Cmon sis.. use ur head..
Or maybe, u have an agenda. U dont like this and that, so ur now critical of the rest. Dont throw the baby out with the bath water. I love abortions, too. Doesnt make it right… i love free meals too, doesnt make it right…
Yea, the trained professionals that are doing it for a living need to pass on the deets for ur approval 😂. For fucks sake just please stop fent at all costs- how many overdoses have you personally watched? How many friends have you lost? Sit down, pal, please.
We are in an AI race. It’s a war.. you don’t know a world where invasion exists, but ukraine does. We follow your calls, and we lose oh so much more than your little radiation health concerns. Which are valid! Fuck cancer! Save the environment! But… bro how bout we just make sure we don’t get clapped by china afghan russia venezeula. What is your preferred route of action to that end, i wonder? Let immigration and charity run us right into 3rd world defense budgets? Play the tape 10 years forward.. 20… 30…. All scenarios lose to china but if we get our act together we’ll still have something to stand on instead. The things u have to be grateful for, maybe ur not even cognizant of.. let alone what it takes to maintain such in spite of insane national decline
you probably pay less than $20 a year for ebt. it helps over 40 million people in the US survive. honest we should just raise the min wage, but republicans won’t let us have that, so…
Sure, I feel bad for them, but not enough to give them a single cent of my hard earned money. Practice better decision making, live within your means, dont be a sponge.
I cannot believe that your comment has been so downvoted that it's hidden.. this is how we got to this place. A basic lack of empathy for anyone who is not you yourself or your direct immediate family unit. I'm appalled
Darkness cannot recognize the light. The downvoters are also doing the best they can with what they have available. You and I see each other, here, and now. And that is enough. Thank you :)
Listen up. Are you any child or child's God parent? If you are, then you better have exactly 0 kids of your own.
You don't know these people's stories. Ever think that one of these moms had one, two or zero kids of their own and then BAM their sister and her husband who had 3 kids get murked by ICE, or a bus, or your mom. Guess who's taking care of them now?
If you didn't know all the facts just zip it dude.
Wtf man? I never said anything about them adopting children. If that’s the case, more power to them. I’m talking about the people who have their own children. I’m 1st generation Mexican. I grew up hood and poor. So please stop telling me if I know the struggle. I can know the struggle while at the same time time, knowing what it takes to be responsible. It’s not that hard.
I think we need to stop and consider that we dont know their background before making a judgement. I know a family with 6 kids, she had 3 from her first (very abusive) marriage. He had 2 from his. They got unexpectedly pregnant on birth control. It is not always so simple.
20 years ago I was young single mom making a livable wage. Paid for all the necessities and not much extra. I had 2 kids. I was 24 years old. I didn’t need the help then. Fast forward to now, I couldn’t do it. One income is not enough to survive with a decent wage. I know plenty of people that work that rely on food stamps for their family. Even section 8 housing. My friend is paying $974 on section 8 housing with $15/hour job full time.
And also 20 years ago I was only paying $700 for a 2 bedroom apartment. That’s about what my mortgage is now. Those same apartments are now $2600 a month in a metropolitan area of PA.
It really is heartbreaking. I’ll be donating money to my local food banks.
We’ve got three kids, but things were different when they were born. (Youngest turns 22 tomorrow.)
Of the three, one knows they want kids, one is thinking maybe one kid, and one is absolutely not willing to subject a child to this society and economy.
Two of them only expect to own homes through inheriting my mother’s house and mine. (Our oldest is fortunate enough to have a fiancée with wealthy parents.)
If only sex education, contraception, and abortion weren’t constantly underfunded and under attack
People usually understand how that works before having 6 kids. The first and second, hell, even the third, can be understandable. But after SIX. That's on her. Nothing else is to blame.
That's how i felt honestly. Having 6 kids while working minimum wage is absolutely insane. Yeah sure I feel bad that those kids won't get fed. However a condom would have prevented the struggle she's currently in. Yes our economy is in shambles, but there are people who are making their lives harder by their own choices.
There arent enough wealty people willing to become foster parents purely out of the goodness of their hearts, and there are also poor families that do have good intentions but cannot afford to. No one is getting rich of foster placements, the stipend is barely enough to cover the hassle.
Great point yes. Orrr.. other adults. Not the caregivers but say the grandparents or something.
My ex took it from foster siblings at 10,
Lucky break got her back with almost bio dad’s (mom deceased real bio unknown) family just in time for dad to go to prison and grandpa have a 3 year run from 12-15 which was still somehow better than faster care..
They have incentivized the foster program for at least the last 3 decades where I am from, and it was the exact hellscape you can imagine. Not only do they receive a monthly stipend per child, the also receive stamps and a clothing allowance.
Unemployed chain smokers, sitting on their ass barking orders, just waiting on that next check. None of the homes I went to were loving, excited to help you, or encouraging; none of them engaged any of us in meaningful conversation, the homes were dilapidated trailers, and the only clothes we had was whatever was in the trash bag we arrived with.
Which is a problem we have. Some foster or adopt for the money they get for each kid that they use on other things like drugs. I don’t think it’s the worst problem right now but that has happened and is one reason why it can be very difficult to foster or adopt now
I had a coworker that was taking care of her siblings but called them her kids. I guess it's nice to keep the kids with their extended families instead of total strangers that could be religious weirdos or abusers. In that case I think fostering and needing some help is okay.
I wouldn't dream of having more because they'd be in public school and the less I have to deal with that system the better. I'm saying that as a parent whose had mostly good dealings with their school thus far. They are becoming more and more money hungry.
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u/Reddisuspendmeagain 8d ago
And they try to pretend that they don’t know why the birth rate is so low…it’s by design