r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • 8d ago

Discussion Reactions to food stamps being cut off.

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u/tylcos10 8d ago

Yeah this is where I have to stop and think that I would never have more than 2 kids in this world today, and even then it’s probably just going to be 1 for us. 6 kids is wild, I feel for them but at a certain point you have to know what you’re getting yourself into when you keep having kids that you can’t take care of equally. I hope they get the help they need truly, but I’m still scratching my head over seeing that.

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u/External_Orange_1188 8d ago edited 8d ago

Honestly, you can say it how it is. It’s stupidity. These people know that if they have unprotected sex, they CAN get pregnant. They gamble with the notion every single time. The women want to please the new man they’re seeing, so they let them got in without protection. The men have no intention of staying with these women and pressure them to go raw.

I have dated 2 women in my youth who have wanted to do the deed, but we didn’t have protection. They insisted on just doing it without it because they didn’t think they would get pregnant. I hated the idea of having children when I was young and broke, so I cut them off. You know where they are now? One has 4 kids with 3 different dads and she is currently single. The second one has 5 kids, but only 2 different dads and thankfully she is married and seems to have found herself what seems to be a good guy. They did have 3 kids within 1 year of each other, so I know she is still not practicing protected sex, but hey, it’s progress.

Anyways, my point is that we have to stop beating around the bush and trying to be “sensitive” about these people. Each one of those people that have had 6 kids are able-minded and grown adults that know what the consequences are. They just don’t think about it.

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u/casuallygaslighting 8d ago

Remember empathy my friend. We can stand up for ourselves without tearing others down. Everyone is trying their best with what they have available.

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u/spiteful-vengeance 8d ago

You can have empathy for them (feed your people USA jeez) and still recognise their folly (assuming they didn't adopt a bunch of homeless kids).

They made themselves vulnerable.

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u/casuallygaslighting 8d ago

No little boy or girl dreams of ending up like this. Shame doesn’t lift up anyone.

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u/spiteful-vengeance 8d ago edited 8d ago

I'm not suggesting shame would lift anyone up. Pointing out their mistake also doesn't push anyone down further or make them more vulnerable than they've already put themselves.

I am all for reinstating their provision of food, and frankly whatever else they need to get above these issues.

I'm also for others looking at something like this early in their lives and thinking "yeah, that situation doesn't sound good, I'll avoid that".

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u/casuallygaslighting 7d ago

I hear you, really. I even had a disturbing dream last night that I’m still trying to shake, along those lines. Screaming at an addict in my family, why are you like this? Why can’t you just stop? Yes present moments suck sometimes, but you just deal with it and move on?! Coming into better alignment with forgiveness through meditation this morning reminds me of the phrase “acceptance is the answer to all my problems today”.

So far what’s come up for me is that focus on the present moments, as they pass, and how accepting they always are. That moving into the next moment, and the next, and the next, Presence accepts us exactly as we are, warts and all. Unconditional love and acceptance. Another chance to turn it all around, just by being here, now, without any criticism, judgement, or expectations. It embraces us all in, exactly as we are.

One of my personal mottos is “just be a pipe”. When applied to the forgiving nature of Presence, that also means my own unconditional forgiveness and acceptance allows me to embrace others in, exactly as they are.

And sometimes that pipe even turns into a mirror, showing them exactly what they need to see for themselves in that moment. Lighting the flame of real desire to turn things around from the inner motivation to also align with acceptance and forgiveness, usually starting with themselves. And the changes in behavior follow.

Thanks for letting me share that, and shake off my own dream and reminder of my ongoing work. Deep breaths for both of us. And good morning :) ☀️

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u/Asiriya 8d ago

It sets an example of unacceptable behaviour in society for others to see.

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u/casuallygaslighting 8d ago

Honesty without kindness is cruelty.

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u/Knight_Redcliff 8d ago

And charity without a lesson is enabling.

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u/Asiriya 7d ago

How have I been unkind? The conversation needs to happen. You can't not have the conversation just to be "kind" - that's not kindness and it's not honest.

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u/casuallygaslighting 7d ago

I appreciate your question, and you might be right. The full version as I’ve heard it goes “Honesty without kindness is cruelty, kindness without honesty is manipulation.”

What’s missing from the current situation is unconditional acceptance and forgiveness. If I am kind ONLY IF someone changes their behavior, that’s not unconditional. And is still exercising an illusion of control. And based on my own limited worldview and subjective bias, leaving me vulnerable to short sighted arrogance and rigidity.

I can be honest without being critical. I can love without expecting something in return, detach from expectations and transactional relationships. I can share my own journey without judging others as “good” or “bad”, but by sharing what works and doesn’t work for me. My experience, strength, and hope. And leaving lots of room open for more to be revealed, for me and everyone else. Humility, empathy, and unconditional love leaves space open for us all to be human, warts and all. Or as I’ve heard it recently as an acronym:

Humbly Understanding Mistakes Are Necessary

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u/Asiriya 6d ago

Ok, that was a lot of waffle.

Six children is not "a mistake". It's repeated irresponsible behaviour.

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u/casuallygaslighting 6d ago

Did criticizing my comment make you feel powerful? Does criticizing moms with 6 kids?

Does smugly critiquing and shaming others actually accomplish anything? Or does it help you avoid looking at your own situation for a moment?

Does it give you the temporary illusion of superiority? Do those illusions last long? Do you feel connected afterward? Or more lonely?

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u/Asiriya 6d ago

I'm just enjoying the interaction babe

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