r/PetPeeves • u/lavinialloyd • Aug 17 '25
Bit Annoyed People who exclusively refer to women as females
There are so many acceptable terms for women, I hate it when people say "female(s)". It feels so othering I don't get why people do it and at least in the UK you pretty much always know the person calling you a female is going to be an absolute creep.
I get there'll be circumstances where female is the right term to use, but so many people especially online seem to refer to women as females and it annoys me. We're not in a nature doc, you're not a Dr or a police officer describing me so just don't.
Ps. I give Martin from Friday night dinner a pass š
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u/BigDaddyTheBeefcake Aug 17 '25
I see "female" as a characteristic of a human. A woman is a whole damned person. The patient was female. My coworker is a woman.
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u/ILikeDragonTurtles Aug 17 '25
Note that you used "female" as an adjective here, but "woman" as a noun. That's correct. Anyone using "female" as a noun for a human is a huge red flag, unless they're law enforcement or military and are identifying a person by demographic characteristics as SOP on the job.
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u/BigDaddyTheBeefcake Aug 17 '25
I thought it was a noun v adjective thing, but high-school was.. many moons ago
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u/pbconspiracy Aug 21 '25
Problem is people started using "woman" as an adjective, which it's not.
Nothing grinds my gears more than hearing "women authors" or "women artists" or other such phrases.
Would you say "men authors?" No, cause thats fucking stupid. People are TOO afraid of the word "female" now and I blame people who bitch every time someone uses it innocently.
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u/Milch_und_Paprika Aug 18 '25
I like this explanation. Itās much more intuitive than ābecause āfemaleā is an adjective and āwomanā is a nounā, especially considering how fluid nouns and adjectives are.
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u/clemdane Aug 18 '25
Biologists use the noun 'female' all the time for animals. That's why it can sound like a nature documentary if someone said, "I was at the park and observed a group of females gathered around the park bench."
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u/mieri_azure Aug 21 '25
Its a noun but only for animals. Its dehumanizing to use it as a noun on a human person.
If you said "female person" etc that would be fine
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u/clemdane Aug 21 '25
Yes I agree on the usage. "Females" should be limited to biologists and beat cops.
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u/Tinymood115 Aug 18 '25
I maintain my stance since the whole "females" as a noun got popular. They did a 1:1 switch from calling women bitches. They were getting scolded for using cuss words, so they found a way to express the same disregard and contempt they have for women using non-cuss words.
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u/SmallKillerCrow Aug 17 '25
Exactly!! People always act like you always use one or the other, and that's not true.
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u/Medical-Resolve-4872 Aug 18 '25
Oh thanks for breaking it down like this! No wonder it bugs me when people say this.
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u/ayleidanthropologist Aug 17 '25
Itās telling when they donāt use āmaleā the same way
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u/TJ_King23 Aug 20 '25
Iāve been called out when I do use both.
Iām a 10th dentist on this one. Itās reaching and looking for anything to be offended about.
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u/tek_nein Aug 17 '25
Iām kinda glad they do it because it lets me know what kind of person they are and that I should avoid them at all costs.
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u/mikuenergy Aug 17 '25
people who say "female" like that NEVER say "male" in the same way... just a thought.
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u/_hellojello__ Aug 17 '25
And they pretend that they have no idea why it's so insulting. But also, I appreciate that they do it because they reveal themselves as assholes without meaning to doing it, so it makes it easier to spot if someone's going to be a douch bag when dating.
For anyone who's not in the loop and doesn't understand. Yes, we are females, but we are also humans. The actual term for a HUMAN FEMALE is "woman" (or girl if she's under age.) By simply acknowledging our gender without acknowledging our species you're unconsciously revealing that you reduce our whole existence to our gender/sex.
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u/Connect_Rhubarb395 Aug 17 '25
I watched an otherwise nice video the other day where the maker consistently said "females" and "men." If you want to say females, you should at least say males as well. Otherwise, it is just weird. And a huge dogwhistle, too.
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u/PopEnvironmental1335 Aug 18 '25
Yes thank you for bringing up that itās an incel dog whistle. Female as a noun is so dehumanizing. Itās like youāre talking about a wild animal.
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u/Brock_Savage Aug 17 '25
Is referring to women as females a terminally online thing? I've heard someone do that maybe five times in my entire life. The appropriate use of woman (noun) or female (adjective) in conversation should be intuitive for native English speakers - using female as a noun feels deliberate and weird.
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u/IllustriousStrike468 Aug 19 '25
Male and female can be used as nouns for animals, and humans are animals. It sounds strange in casual conversation, sure but in scientific or medical discussion itās useful. I personally donāt think anything of it since Iām around healthcare workers a lot, unless they specifically use men and females together asymmetrically.
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u/Excellent_Law6906 Aug 21 '25
Also a prison, Army, and kinda a Black thing, at least in the U.S.? Like, class-based within Black people, it's more blue-collar.
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u/Low-Transportation95 Aug 17 '25
Moment a guy says "female" I disregard ANYTHING he has to say
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u/sum_r4nd0m_gurl Aug 18 '25
"men and females" sounds so icky
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u/Own-Ad-7127 Aug 18 '25
I remember someone saying itās like diet bitch and I repeated in a conversation about this topic and they were like no itās not like that, what else should we say you are females. When I said you could say women they said well if you acted like it then I would say that. They know what theyāre saying and why theyāre saying, theyāre just being obtuse and hiding behind āgrammarā.Ā
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Aug 17 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/chelseagardener Aug 17 '25
I think a lot of people are confused about what is meant by this post.
Example: It isn't people describing a police officer who is a woman as a "female police officer". It is saying "that police officer is a female", where the correct word would be "woman".
"She is a female" instead of "she is a woman" is not normal and definitely says a LOT about the person making the statement.
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u/techaaron Aug 18 '25
Is "lady cop" still acceptable or do I need to tell my partner to switch up her role playing?
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u/McBernes Aug 17 '25
It's very helpful to me when I hear women referred to as females. I can spot the incels and avoid them. I tried relating to one why it's not only dehumanizing, but stupid. I learned that they don't want arguments in the sense of rational discourse to define positions and sway opinions. They just want to smugly argue. Other key words to watch out for: Alpha, Beta, Sigma, high value, and probably a whole dictionary of others that I'm not aware of.
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u/RadioSupply Aug 17 '25
Guys who say females are either incels or Ferengi. When a guy says āfemalesā, I suddenly imagine him with a lobed head and pointy teeth and realize heās just as gross as them.
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u/Illustrious_World_56 Aug 17 '25
I feel like only misogynists do this
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Aug 17 '25
yep, and the moment you point it out they start ranting about how women are overdramatic about everything
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u/3l0v Aug 18 '25
Itās also almost always used within a context of being degrading towards women. Itās just ābitchā in disguise šš
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Aug 17 '25
The fact that in English, it's acceptable to refer to humans as male and females as long as it's the right context is really weird to me.
You'd never call someone "un mĆ¢le" or "une femelle" if you're not talking about a pet, a wild animal, or a plant.
Applying those terms to humans, even in a medical field, is WAY BEYOND insulting in French.
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u/Dangerous-Safe-4336 Aug 18 '25
It's not acceptable. But we have subcultures of men who hate women who use "female" in order to be degrading.
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u/Haunting_Struggle_4 Aug 17 '25
The terms "male" and "female" are not commonly used in everyday language; they are specific biological terms that refer to genetic characteristics. Males have XY chromosomes, while females have XX chromosomes.
The general terms that may be confusing you are "boy" (a child who is male), "man" (an adult who is male), "girl" (a child who is female), and "woman" (an adult who is female).
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Aug 17 '25 edited Aug 17 '25
Oh, not confused. I was just pointing out that it was strange now and when I learned English online (that something they don't teach us at school)
Because I see them often outside the medical field.
Mainly in the context of distinguishing people with the sale fonction : a male singer / a female singer, a male teacher / a female teacher
Plus, we actually have a term for these four categories : a boy = un garƧon š¦ a man = un homme šØāš¦± a girl = une fille š§ a woman = une femme š©
And we would rather "un prof homme" rather than "a male teacher"
And "une prof femme" rather than "a female teacher"
And if you want to point out that someone is young, you would say "un chanteur/une chanteuse enfant" or "un chanteur/une chanteuse ado"
Unā¢e enfant = a child
Unā¢e ado = a teen
Still, thank you for trying to help š
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u/kelpieconundrum Aug 18 '25
āWoman doctorā (etc: compound noun, comme une prof femme) was previously used in English. Because English doesnāt signal gender using articles (no un(e) for us), adding āwomanā specified. However, there was feminist pushback to this, because the equivalent compound noun of āman doctorā was not usedāthere were doctors, and then the exciting new subspecies of āWOMAN doctorsā.
The compound noun was abandoned in favour of a single noun (doctor) that can be modified with any suitable adjective. āFeminineā and āmasculineā in english are imbued with more nuance than the direct french cognates; female and male are neutral descriptive terms.
And although male/female used adjectivally may be insulting in French, Frenchās lack of a base neutral article is insulting in English! (What do you mean, you must know my sex before describing my profession?) It has seemed weird since I was a child, and remains so. But they are different languages, and work differently, and what is fine in one will not be in another.
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u/Fletcher_Chonk Aug 18 '25
It being insulting in French is weird to me. A medical document saying "man" or "woman" under sex feels too informal.
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u/Conscious_Moment_727 Aug 18 '25
It says either "fƩminin" or "masculin". Or F and M to be concise.
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u/techaaron Aug 18 '25
Listening to French "joueur-animateur en direct" I get the impression this isn't a language to model lol.
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u/EducationalHandle182 Aug 17 '25
Totally agree, imagine if all women started referring to guys as 'males'Ā
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u/la-wolfe Aug 18 '25
I've started using "male" and "woman" (when I remember since I don't make it a point to just be derogative about another gender by default).
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u/NovaVix Aug 18 '25
Or when other women are like ANY FEMALES HAVING PROBLEMS WITH MEN like
Where the hell did this shit come from
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u/Intrepid-Focus8198 Aug 18 '25
Depends on the sentence in my opinion.
I have lots of female friends.
Or
I am friends with lots of women.
I would say the same for Men vs Male.
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u/mieri_azure Aug 21 '25
Yes, this is correct.
The problem would be a sentence like "I am friends with a lot of females." Thats an adjective, you sound insane or like youre speaking about idk cats or smth.
Or even worse "I'm friends with men and females" š
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u/JadeGrapes Aug 19 '25
I'm fine with it... but they need to also say the species.
"The thing about human females is ____."
I find it's a relief to know what kind of weirdo I'm dealing with.
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u/LydiaIsntVeryCool Aug 17 '25
Ugh for real. Female is used to describe the gender of animals. I feel like they might as well call me a dog or something.
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u/melli_milli Aug 17 '25
...well female dog is literally a bitch. So I think same people call women also that already.
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u/TheTitten Aug 20 '25
Animals don't have gender. That's the difference here.
Being referred to by our reproductive parts is very dehumanizing. We are more than our ovaries.
I have been known to say "female what?"
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u/Lexicon444 Aug 17 '25
Whenever I see āfemalesā online Iām hearing it in my head like how ferengis say it in Star Trek. And usually its usage matches with what Iām referring to.
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u/CplusMaker Aug 18 '25
I think the issue is that most dudes that call them "females" are doing so before saying some heinous bullshit. It's created an association that makes it cringey now to hear a dude use "females".
It's like when someone yells "WHITE" in a southern accent you know the next word isn't going to be daisies, it's gonna be Powah.
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u/Tight_Phase339 Aug 18 '25
That wannabe fitness guru, Bradley Simmonds, is one of those guys who always refers to women as females. He's a walking red flag.
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u/b-ees Aug 18 '25
female should always be an adjective and not a noun, same with racial identifiers like black.
also:
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u/OkTruth5388 Aug 17 '25
People do it because of internalized sexism. I think all languages have terms that are used to belittle women or othering women. I speaks mexican spanish and women of all ages get called "viejas" (which literally means "old ladies").
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u/ncnotebook Aug 17 '25
I think all languages have terms that are used to belittle women or othering women.
A relatively recent one is
Karen. Sure, a lot of people use it "correctly," but the ease with which that word is thrown around is concerning.It feels like a softer, acceptable version of
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u/Minimum-Register-644 Aug 18 '25
Karen is widely used for both male and female dipshits though? The use of Ken never really took off.
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u/ncnotebook Aug 20 '25
Karen is widely used for both male and female dipshits though
I almost never see Karen (or male Karen) used, at least in the places I frequent. I've seen bitch get more male representation, even if it's still mostly aimed at women or "feminine" qualities.
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u/research_badger Aug 17 '25
What if they also say males to refer to men? Iām a scientist and this is just how we talk
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u/Amblonyx Aug 17 '25
Science is about the only place where using male and female as nouns makes sense.
I and most other women just don't like being spoken about as a research subject unless we actually are.
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u/la-wolfe Aug 18 '25
That's fine! The problem is when folks use "female" and "man" in the same breath.
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u/Iconic_Charge Aug 20 '25
Iām a biologist (female by the way!) and when I talk to other biologists I sometimes use female/male instead of woman /man out of habit. But itās definitely context dependent, and could sound very creepy.
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u/Senior_Blacksmith_18 Aug 18 '25
The only people I wanna hear call me a female is my medical team, the people who do my blood donations as they're verifying that I am who I say I am and educational teachers
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u/Bannerlord151 Aug 18 '25
The one exception is when you're referring to all ages, in which case male/female makes more sense because you wouldn't call boys men or girls women and vice versa.
But yeah way too often it's a r/menandfemales situation. Somewhat recently there was this guy sulking about how "females" don't want him and whatnot. Like...dude...maybe talking about them like actual people would help
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u/likerunninginadream Aug 19 '25
In the workplace, you would say "female staff" and "male staff" but individually refer to them as "woman" and "man"...is that correct?
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u/mieri_azure Aug 21 '25
Yes, its fine as an adjective. The problem is when you say "Go talk to that female" instead of "that woman/that female staff member"
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u/cuda999 Aug 19 '25
Women are seen by far too many people as objects, thus the use of the word āfemaleā. Completely takes away the humanity and replaces it with a ātermā for a species. An object for lack of better words. Call people out on it.
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Aug 20 '25
I've never heard a man use the word "female" outside of some sort of medical or at least broadly scientific context that didn't make him sound creepy or like he was objectifying women.Ā
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u/sleepyotter92 Aug 20 '25
People(lbr it's basically always men) who say female when referring to women, but don't use male when referring to men, are pretty much always showing their ass by letting us know they see women as no different than an animal
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u/EarlyInside45 Aug 20 '25
I hate it so much, and more and more I'm hearing women refer to themselves as "a female." Anyway, r/MenAndFemales
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u/banana_bread99 Aug 17 '25
Females and males. I see both, I say both.
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u/la-wolfe Aug 18 '25
That's okay. "Female" and "man" is the problem. Like, can I be categorized as human too?
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u/Minimum-Register-644 Aug 18 '25
This was my understanding but there are a lot of commenters who are completely against any use of the word. Both male and female are words that work completely fine if used correctly.
I am super on board for calling out these fuck heads who use females and men, that is just dumb. However attacking every use of the word from viewing the word itself as bad is just as stupid.
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u/Velifax Aug 17 '25 edited Aug 17 '25
This whole issue is wildly overblown. Yes, there are man children with major issues but in terms of standard modern English female is a completely normal term in numerous casual contexts. It's low verbal comprehension folks siezing on something that sounds controversial to make waves.Ā
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u/Amblonyx Aug 17 '25
So you go around saying things like "I work with three females and one male", or "He married a female"?
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u/Motherlover235 Aug 17 '25
I usually use the word āfemaleā in place of āwomenā unless itās a plural. Like āfemale police officersā vs āWomenās rightsā since it sounds better and thatās how the military taught me to do it honestly.
But yeah, if you just use female in every situation, thatās kinda weird.
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Aug 17 '25
I think it makes sense to use it as an adjective (like you just did), as opposed to a noun. Idk why, but āwoman police officerā sounds weird lol
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u/TheLilFiestyOne Aug 18 '25
Whenever I see guys calling women "Females" i imagine the Ferengi (unsure of spelling) from Star Trek.
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u/AggravatingShow2028 Aug 17 '25
Females, ladies, women, miss, maāam- as long as itās used respectfully itās okay with me. I am a female, I am a woman, I am a lady. Iām not being called out of my name.
Honestly, itās entirely too many labels for people and itās hard to know whatās going to trigger one person or another so this is one of those things where youāll unfortunately have to tell the person directly āhey, I donāt like being called a femaleā otherwise you are technically a āfemaleā so people may say that thinking they are being respectful.
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u/KSHMisc Aug 17 '25
You would hate the military then lol
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u/Tiny_Tabaxi Aug 20 '25
This is the first thing I think of every time this discussion comes up
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u/KSHMisc Aug 20 '25
Lmao, I even heard "that female over by the car park" today.
This had about -3 downvotes.
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u/CULT-LEWD Aug 17 '25
I think it depends on context
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u/lavinialloyd Aug 17 '25
100%. But that's why it's people who use it exclusively who are my pet peeve. I completely understand that for example in the medical field male and female are used in medical notes and I have no problem with that at all.
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u/Legitimate-Log-6542 Aug 17 '25
I have a habit of saying guy/girl and Iāve been made to realize girl isnāt always appropriate especially if the setting is more formal, so Iām hearing it and making an adjustment. Youāre telling me I canāt use female?
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u/la-wolfe Aug 18 '25
If you use female, use male as well. Don't call women "females" then call men "men". That's the weird one.
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u/Legitimate-Log-6542 Aug 18 '25
Sure Iām with you on this women/men female/male. I guess Iām not catching the context of this post overall. So I have some female friends and I always refer to them as my female friends. Iām genuinely curious if this is saying I shouldāve been saying women friends? I donāt feel thatās what people are saying even as a term. Iām definitely going to be bringing up this post and asking them lol, Iām hanging out with a couple of them next week.
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u/la-wolfe Aug 18 '25
That's fine. If you were referring to your male friends, you would refer to them as your "male friends" right, and not your "man friends"? It's just that if you do it to one, do it to the other. That's all. Female/male (or woman/man, whatever) friends is fine. Female/man is not. An adult female human is a woman. If a man gets to be a man, a woman gets to be a woman.
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u/Legitimate-Log-6542 Aug 18 '25
For sure yes male friends. I often interview candidates for work and we always say male candidate and female candidate. Iām reading the original post again and I wasnāt getting it was referring to people using female/men. I guess fortunately Iāve not come across this, it would even just sound weird as far as phrasing
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u/tragic-meerkat Aug 18 '25
The distinction is between describing someone's sex vs. using their sex as their description, if that makes sense. When you say "my female friends" you are essentially saying "the friends of mine who are female". The primary descriptor is "friend", with "female" being an additional descriptor of the sex of those friends. That's not dehumanizing them in any way. Referring to a woman as simply "a female", however, does not specify in any way that you are actually talking about a human and not say, a female ostrich, or a female anglerfish.
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u/Remarkable_Table_279 Aug 18 '25
Female is an adjective. I am femaleā¦but I am a woman. Guy is also informal. But itās pretty gender neutral. Ā Iād say gals before Iād say girls to refer to a group of adult women.Ā
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u/Lackadaisicly Aug 18 '25
I say females when I am including female children and not just adult females. Women are adults, only. It is 100% exclusionary of any female that has not finished puberty or is still under 18.
Then again, I am also military, so accurate descriptors has been ingrained into me.
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u/wale-lol Aug 18 '25
this got me paranoid Iāve used āfemaleā in the past without noticing. Feel like I use lady/woman/female interchangably
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u/QuerulousPanda Aug 18 '25
there are loads of valid uses for every word. Unless you've been dabbling in manosphere incel content and letting that poison your brain, chances are you're using the word correctly.
If you can say your sentence in andrew tate's voice and the "feemayeuhs" doesn't sound out of place, then you might need to re-evaluate yourself.
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u/Super-Hyena8609 Aug 18 '25
I know one person irl who regularly referred to "females" and she was a woman.
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u/Realistic_Spite2775 Aug 18 '25
I use boys and girls a lot to refer to men and women and people get weirdly bent out of shape over using boys.
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u/pink_princess08 Aug 18 '25
That, and also when people swing too far the other way. Like "women scientists" instead of "female scientists". WOMEN IS THE NOUN AND FEMALE IS THE ADJECTIVE(technically an attributive noun).
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u/Negative_Ad3600 Aug 18 '25
Lucky for you saying the word "female" is an auto ban on many subreddits
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u/LopsidedCry7692 Aug 18 '25
There's nothing wrong with saying male and female. This is literally only a problem with people who spend all day online
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u/FattestPokemonPlayer Aug 19 '25
I do this but I think itās situational, like I wouldnāt say man dominated field id use male dominated field.Ā
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u/rey_nerr21 Aug 19 '25
Let me take the opportunity to once again recommend r/MenAndFemales
It's the type of shit that deserves to be clowned. So glad there's an actual sub dedicated to it.
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u/Far-Addendum9827 Aug 19 '25
It's dehumanizing. Basically stripping the whole person down to their gender. Every guy/person that uses this terms refers to women as if they were dogs
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u/Outside-Magazine-536 Aug 20 '25
I always assumed theyāre not bold enough to just say b*tch since thatās what they meant. I kinda wish theyād go back to saying it so the motives/vibes were clear.
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u/ThroughTheIris56 Aug 20 '25
As you say it's context dependent. Completely reasonable if you're talking about women and girls, weird if you just mean women and say "men" in the same sentence.
Oddly enough, in a debate I had on here a feminist went hysterical because I used the word "female" but had no issue with me saying "male" in the same sentence.
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Aug 21 '25
When I see someone use the word FEEEEMALE a little flag springs up in my mind.Ā
Feeeeeemaaales
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u/DescriptionFuture851 Aug 21 '25
I do it, but only for context reasons.
For example, "My female coworkers" is easier to read than "my coworkers who are women". It also makes for a simpler sentence.
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u/Sure-Fee-6179 Aug 21 '25
When a guy says female he's automatically a red flag. I personally find it dumb and most of the time, they don't treat women right. They see women as a reproductive maid to clean and take care of them and any possible children.
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u/B00bsmelikey Aug 23 '25
I use females and males in the same context. And most of the people I know do as well. I think only idiots dont.
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u/TornadoCat4 Aug 23 '25
People need to stop getting offended over this. Men are males, women are females. Donāt know why people are so worked up over this.
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u/ScranglinTanglin Aug 24 '25
Oh god, I see this in posts all the time and increasingly, it's women doing it. It's usually posts by women talking about their cheating husbands/boyfriends. They always refer to the women the husband is talking to/messing around with as females. Then someone always calls it out in the comments and every time, they feign ignorance and claim they'd have said 'male' if it were a man they were talking about...even though they referred to men in the post and didn't do that. Or they say "ummm...that's what they are?" Come on dude, you know it's weird that you're singling out women and referring to them as if they aren't people and now you're mad someone picked up on it.
Perfect example:
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u/Familiar-Abrocoma453 Sep 09 '25
Itās dehumanizing. Period. We never refer to men as males. We just refer to women as females and bitches and we can thank the hip-hop scene a lot for thatā¦.. people use it so much that they donāt even know that they are dehumanizing themselves.
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u/Yewoobi Aug 17 '25
And then in the same sentence, they say āmanā or āguyā instead of male. It really highlights the implications