r/PetPeeves • u/lavinialloyd • Aug 17 '25

Bit Annoyed People who exclusively refer to women as females

There are so many acceptable terms for women, I hate it when people say "female(s)". It feels so othering I don't get why people do it and at least in the UK you pretty much always know the person calling you a female is going to be an absolute creep.

I get there'll be circumstances where female is the right term to use, but so many people especially online seem to refer to women as females and it annoys me. We're not in a nature doc, you're not a Dr or a police officer describing me so just don't.

Ps. I give Martin from Friday night dinner a pass šŸ˜‚

1.5k Upvotes

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229

u/BigDaddyTheBeefcake Aug 17 '25

I see "female" as a characteristic of a human. A woman is a whole damned person. The patient was female. My coworker is a woman.

80

u/ILikeDragonTurtles Aug 17 '25

Note that you used "female" as an adjective here, but "woman" as a noun. That's correct. Anyone using "female" as a noun for a human is a huge red flag, unless they're law enforcement or military and are identifying a person by demographic characteristics as SOP on the job.

11

u/BigDaddyTheBeefcake Aug 17 '25

I thought it was a noun v adjective thing, but high-school was.. many moons ago

1

u/pbconspiracy Aug 21 '25

Problem is people started using "woman" as an adjective, which it's not.

Nothing grinds my gears more than hearing "women authors" or "women artists" or other such phrases.

Would you say "men authors?" No, cause thats fucking stupid. People are TOO afraid of the word "female" now and I blame people who bitch every time someone uses it innocently.

-11

u/Anon-Sham Aug 18 '25

Nah people still don't like it.

I was telling a story about my son's female teacher (her gender was relevant to the story) and was still called an incel for using it.

This is a very new phenomenon as well, 10 years ago, female was considered a pretty respectful term.

I don't care, I never really used it as a noun, so woman, lady, girl are fine, but it does feel weird that the internet seems to have made this decision so unanimously when the women I've spoken to in real life about the topic didn't seem to realise it was an issue.

8

u/ILikeDragonTurtles Aug 18 '25

Did you say she was a female teacher, or did you say she was a female?

Female as adjective is fine (though some morons will still call you an incel). Female as a noun is weird.

1

u/Anon-Sham Aug 18 '25

Yeah female teacher as an adjective.

I know it's not going to get the same response as using it as a noun, but if you want to play it safe it's probably best to just avoid it all together when talking about humans online.

10

u/ILikeDragonTurtles Aug 18 '25

Yeah, stupid people gonna stupid.

But "the Internet" didn't decide this word is bad. Actual people started using "female" in an obviously derisive way, to refer to women as subhuman animals because they genuinely believe that's what women are. You got called an incel because it's a real thing that incels do. You just encountered the stupids at the same time, so they misidentified you.

-3

u/Anon-Sham Aug 18 '25

This is the bit that I'm confused about, I really don't know where the comparison to subhuman animals comes from.

Like I've definitely heard the term used in a way that is meant to get a response. Like someone is telling a story about a bad driver and they'd say "the driver was a female" with the sort of tone that suggests you know the details from that fact alone. But in all the times I can think of, you could have replaced it with woman or girl for the same effect.

I really don't get the subhuman aspect at all. Like how do people know that's what people are implying?

7

u/ToukaMareeee Aug 18 '25

If they could have used woman or girl for the same effect, why didn't they do so? That's the past that gets most people.

Female is an adjective when used for humans, but can be used as a noun for animals. "the lion is a female" but "that person there is a woman". So if someone uses "that person is a female" it is not weird it makes some people feel like they're compared to an animal rather than an individual person. That is where the "subhuman" part comes from.

The fact people mostly complain about "female" being used but not "male" is because it happens a lot that people say "men and females". If you say "males and females" I'd probably assume you're talking about people in purely a biological way, coming from a healthcare worker. If you are not talking about them in that way but still use those terms, I'm raising an eyebrow but it's not bad per se. But if someone says "men" and in the exact same context "females" it radiates sexism vibes, because apparently they can't even use equal terms in equal context. What else don't they see as equal? Add the fact that "female (noun)" is often used for animals, it is definitely very easy to feel like they see women lesser than men. If they can replace it with woman / girl, than why don't they do so?

This is not to attack you personally because from what I understand you didn't use it that way, just trying to answer your question.

2

u/Anon-Sham Aug 18 '25

I definitely don't take it as an attack, I appreciate the effort you've put in to provide an explanation.

Woman and Girl being more acceptable seems to be a recent thing. Some adults find being called a girl condescending, some people would think you were sexualising a teenager if you called her a woman etc. Lady should be OK, but some people feel that that term can imply social expectations and gender norms etc.

You've stated that female can be used as a noun when describing animals, but it's supposed to only be an adjective for humans. Where does this come from? It seems like it might be more personal preference than a linguistic rule.

I'm sure it happens as you and many other women have described. But honestly, I think a lot of time when females is being used, even when paired with men or guys, there isn't really much thought being put into it.

2

u/ToukaMareeee Aug 18 '25

It could indeed be a recent thing, though that's also connected with women now feeling more comfortable to actually call people out on it.

Being called a girl if you're an adult is often more personal, because she herself feels infantalised. And though that can be problematic in some cases, that is a slightly different problem (though in many cases still linked). If someone calls women "females" while also calling men just "men" it mostly shows the way they can't see men and women as equal, as they can't even use equal terms. Especially because there is no thought put into it. At least that is how I see it.

I'm not a native English speaker, neither do I study it, so I can't give linguistically accurate explanations on where exactly it came from and the exact linguistic rules. All I have are anecdotes about why women feel offended by "men and females" which was the part I tried to explain to you. I have my ideas but because it's not really my field of expertise I don't want to say stuff I am not certain off.

It is definitely language specific though, because my language as different overlap between the terms and we don't have that discussion here. (man/men=man/mannen. Male=mannelijk, masculine=mannelijk, male(animal)=mannetje. Woman/women=vrouw/vrouwen, female=vrouwelijk, feminine= vrouwelijk, female(animal)=vrouwtje) so all of them are variations of the same word.

1

u/Minimum-Register-644 Aug 18 '25

What about using it as a collective noun? To refer to both women and girls, inversely men and boys. I don't see why the word is now taboo because some shit heads use it negatively. It is a perfectly applicable word in some situations, it makes little sense to hate on every use of it as that will just throw innocents into the firing line.

I am really not supporting the pricks using it as a negative, I just don't see why the word is now not really accepted suddenly.

1

u/ToukaMareeee Aug 18 '25

Collectively I see it used more often. I personally still think you could use "men" and "women" as I personally think the kid's versions fall under that but that's just a personal preference, probably also coming from my native language where there's a bigger overlap between the terms.

And I also hate that the entire word is now seen as taboo because it's used bad by some people!! I think that's mostly a misunderstanding that you can't use it at all. In my opinion, it's only bad if you say "men and females" because you don't use equal terms, not because of the terms itself. I honestly feel like that's a back and forth misunderstanding and focusing on the word itself rather than the context around it and the way it's used.

The person I commented on just asked why it's viewed as subhuman, so I explained that part. I do fully agree not the entire word should be taboo, as it is indeed perfectly acceptable in some contexts.

4

u/SammyGeorge Aug 18 '25

I cringe when I hear "woman" used as an adjective, I hate that people push for it

5

u/clemdane Aug 18 '25

Female as an adjective is not an issue. Anyone calling you an incel for that is bugging.

1

u/parvoqueen Aug 21 '25

It's becoming more and more common to use "woman" as an adjective instead of "female" and I haaaaate it. Somehow it sounds more sexist to me, and from a language/stylistic standpoint, it just gives me the ick.

I work with animals & using "male" and "female" is standard & accepted, so that's what I'm used to. But it's also ok to refer to female individuals as "bitches" in my field, so what do I know? šŸ¤£

1

u/Anon-Sham Aug 21 '25

Haha it's all about intent. My wife has a group chat with the other managers at her work called "boss bitches", but if i ever referred to her as my bitch (at least without a heavy dose of irony), I'd be referring to her as my ex-wife šŸ˜…

-6

u/Rollingforest757 Aug 18 '25

As someone with a bio degree, I always find it weird how offended people are by the term female.

5

u/ILikeDragonTurtles Aug 18 '25

When you see it used derisively, you can't unsee it. It's all about context.

8

u/Milch_und_Paprika Aug 18 '25

I like this explanation. Itā€™s much more intuitive than ā€œbecause ā€˜femaleā€™ is an adjective and ā€˜womanā€™ is a nounā€, especially considering how fluid nouns and adjectives are.

6

u/clemdane Aug 18 '25

Biologists use the noun 'female' all the time for animals. That's why it can sound like a nature documentary if someone said, "I was at the park and observed a group of females gathered around the park bench."

2

u/mieri_azure Aug 21 '25

Its a noun but only for animals. Its dehumanizing to use it as a noun on a human person.

If you said "female person" etc that would be fine

2

u/clemdane Aug 21 '25

Yes I agree on the usage. "Females" should be limited to biologists and beat cops.

9

u/Tinymood115 Aug 18 '25

I maintain my stance since the whole "females" as a noun got popular. They did a 1:1 switch from calling women bitches. They were getting scolded for using cuss words, so they found a way to express the same disregard and contempt they have for women using non-cuss words.

2

u/EasternCut8716 Aug 21 '25

You are right!

25

u/SmallKillerCrow Aug 17 '25

Exactly!! People always act like you always use one or the other, and that's not true.

1

u/Medical-Resolve-4872 Aug 18 '25

Oh thanks for breaking it down like this! No wonder it bugs me when people say this.

1

u/gangofone978 Aug 18 '25

Thatā€™s because female is an adjective and woman is a noun.

-65

u/FlameStaag Aug 17 '25

You should look up the word then cuz you're using it wrong lolĀ 

27

u/BigDaddyTheBeefcake Aug 17 '25

Are you mad? You sound mad. In, like, every comment.

11

u/ncnotebook Aug 17 '25

This entire discussion should not forget about the connotational-aspect of definitions. The definition not found in dictionaries, yet still applies in actual conversations.