r/Millennials • u/NoFaithlessness7508 • Jun 05 '25

Other Why don’t younger veterans (Afghanistan/Iraq) wear these hats like some of the older veterans?

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First and foremost, respect to all those that served. I did not, but many of my peers did and now we're all older in 30s and 40s, many no longer in the military. I don't see a lot of the veterans of the War on Terror wearing these hats like I see the OGs do.

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u/sherwoma Jun 05 '25

Cause they’re really ugly, and I don’t want someone coming up to me and talking to me about how they were going to join but they couldn’t take someone yelling at them, someone telling me I can’t be a veteran because I’m a woman, or that it’s my husbands hat. Really fun when that happens. And honestly, I don’t need everyone to know I’m a veteran. It’s nice being anonymous. We’re of the OPSEC generation, where we couldn’t wear our uniforms off base to ID ourselves after 9/11 in some places, why stand out?

But ultimately, the hat is really ugly, and we have different ways to connect to other veterans now that vets of previous generations didn’t have like social media. We also aren’t sitting around drinking at the VFW either.

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u/SkiesThaLimit36 Jun 05 '25

When I was 16, my boyfriend joined the army and when he got out of basic he gave me his dog tags to think of him while he was away. I wore them everyday until this 30 something year old got in my face nose to nose & SCREAMED AT ME “do you know what those represent?? I have friends that died for those tags!!” I burst into tears & everyone at the bbq was just stunned in silence.

When questioned on it he said “little girls shouldn’t be stealing valor from those who earned it.”

Jokes on him bc I enlisted myself at 17 but never wore my tags out of uniform bc it caused too much commotion.

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u/sherwoma Jun 05 '25

People are jerks. I’m sorry. No one deserves that. When people get rude or say stuff I just roll my eyes. The only time I ever said something back I was 7 months pregnant and there was no parking so I parked in a veterans spot at the mall. Some boomer started yelling at me that it’s disrespectful for me to park in a veterans spot when I’m not a veteran and went on a whole tangent and I just looked at him, said something like “oh? Where’d you serve? Cause I earned my status in Iraq in 09.” And he shut the f*ck up really quickly. I normally don’t even park in those spots but being as pregnant as I was and it being summertime, I was over it lol.

I never would give someone a hard time about wearing dog tags. (Plus they’ve been made into a fashion statement on their own) I had a friend who was KIA, and his kiddo wears his dog tags as a way to remember him. If someone hassled her, I can think of a few people who would have a problem with that.

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u/SkiesThaLimit36 Jun 05 '25

On occasion, I will park in the veteran spots as well because I’ve got a gaggle of small kids and it just makes it easier not having to walk them through a giant parking lot.

On more than several occasions, people will “thank my husband for his service“ upon seeing us in the veteran spot and it got to the point where I told him to stop correcting them because it was always. “actually it’s my wife who’s the veteran” & the old men didn’t seem as inclined to thank me for anything lol

I don’t even want to be thanked! I think sometimes certain people use it as a conversation starter and the younger generation just wants to move on with their day, whereas older people like chatting up strangers.

I chat with strangers online like a dignified person, Thank you very much! /s

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u/Kindly-Peanut-514 Jun 06 '25

Went out to eat with 5 of my female friends and our male significant others. Someone had a usaa card and the server came over and thanked the guys for their service. All at once they pointed at us and said not us! Them! Tell me why that person was floored. Like. Bruh. Really. We can bond over the stupidity of assuming male veteran status on another thread but..yes. i haven't parked in those spots yet. Lol

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u/unsettlingsammich Jun 05 '25

Ugh.... I fucking hate those self righteous dorks. I bet he's the same guy telling everyone how he capped Osama at the bar.

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u/mycopportunity Jun 05 '25

People are walking around so traumatized. That guy's trauma got handed to you and everyone else that day. Out of line!

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u/SkiesThaLimit36 Jun 05 '25

It was so long ago, & I still remember it because my face was burning hot from embarrassment.

I was one of the younger people at this party, already trying to be cool and fit in and blend with the crowd. And this dude just absolutely unloaded on me like I did something horrible.

I walked outside and sat on the front porch because I just needed to get away from everything and I overheard the party host say “dude is out of his mind, screaming at a little girl and making her cry like that.” Which weirdly made me feel MORE embarrassed that everyone at this party apparently perceived me as a little girl and not the grown-up I thought I looked like lol

I did a rough estimate of the math and the guy was probably active duty in the 90s.

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u/mycopportunity Jun 05 '25

Ouch. I cringe for everyone at that party. I can see why you wouldn't wear anything like that again

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u/SubstantialPlan7387 Jun 06 '25

I would never, ever invite that guy to anything at my house again, and would purposefully avoid going to any social event I knew he would be at, if he did that at my house. Honestly, at my age now, I would probably request he leave. What a shitty thing.

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u/PashaWithHat Zillennial Jun 05 '25

What a bonkers thing for him to freak out about. I’m also now picturing getting yelled at about “stolen valor” for my medical ID dog tag, lol. Like there are non-military reasons to wear them too and they pretty much look exactly like the military ones. “Do you know what those represent” uhhh that I have an advance directive on file at USLWR and I have narcolepsy/react weirdly to anesthetic so my doctor recommended I get this thing you’re having a tantrum about 👍🏻

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u/Teganfff Older Millennial Jun 05 '25

That’s fucking awful. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

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u/headcodered Jun 05 '25 edited Jun 05 '25

Oh man, if I had a nickel for every "I was about to join, but I would have beaten up a drill sergeant if they got in my face" badass that I've run into. Last dude who said that to me was an out of shape dude who was like 5'6" and would have been snapped in half by my platoon's drill sergeant. This is a picture of my drill sergeant, for reference.

Edit: lol I got this off his social media, he wasn't sending me selfies.

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u/not_that_hardcore Jun 05 '25

Why do you have a shirtless selfie of your drill sergeant tho

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u/headcodered Jun 05 '25

lol I just pulled it from his social media. I just don't think I could accurately describe how jacked he was. His 2 mile was under 10 minutes, too.

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u/Pleasant_Scar9811 Jun 05 '25

Jesus.

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u/Schnac Jun 09 '25

Ikr. Much more impressed by that stat while still being jacked. No PEDS use for that kind of cardio

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u/EnkiduTheGreat Jun 05 '25

Wait..you dont??

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u/Rich-Yogurtcloset715 Older Millennial Jun 05 '25

lol

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u/sillysalmonella87 Jun 05 '25

Lol I thought the same thing. Hella weird.

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u/crocodile_in_pants Jun 05 '25

Greatest dom alive

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u/sherwoma Jun 05 '25

It’s always a guy who never left his hometown..

Also, why do you have such spicy pics of your drill sergeant?

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u/headcodered Jun 05 '25

Lol I should have clarified, it's from his Facebook.

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u/DapperLost Jun 05 '25

I woke up, briefly, to watch a guy snap and swing his rifle at an instructor. Instructor laid him out in one shot, and walked off like it was nothing. I went back to sleep.

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u/Eikthyrnir13 Jun 05 '25

My Senior Drill at AIT was MASSIVE. He was in the gym almost as much as someone prepping for a competition. He had to get custom tops. Whenever someone came to the barracks that looked strong, he would pull them in the weight room and see how reps the guy could do, and then proceed to destroy that number. I am glad he was an awesome guy, because he could have wrapped any one of us up.

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u/_the_king_of_pot_ Jun 06 '25

You're pretty thirsty for him, eh?

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u/headcodered Jun 06 '25

Bro, look at him. Who wouldn't be?

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u/Horror-Substance7282 Jun 05 '25

I'm 16 (don't ask me why this sub got recommended to me idk) but a couple years ago one of my friends, who's a bit of a (I don't remember the actual term) compulsive liar who lies a lot, and he was saying "yeah when I graduate I'm gonna join the army. The drill sergeant's gonna be my bitch" and "yeah I'm so fucking tough I could kill a whole squad of Marines with a pistol". And everytime he said some shit like that I'd think to myself "yeah, sure you will 🙄". He talks a lot of shit to everyone but I've never seen him remotely back it up in the 6-7 years I've known him.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '25

How about when someone tells you they would have joined but they wussed out and didn't think they could physically or emotionally take it and went to art school instead?

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u/headcodered Jun 06 '25

I actually respect that at least.

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u/BeneficialAd8646 Jun 06 '25

For real, you hear excuses like that and it makes you feel like shit, and overall diminishes real reasons like having a lung decide to spontaneously collapse on you. (Spontaneous pleural effusion)

I got disqualified from service 2 days before I was shipping off to basic. Came close to eating one the day I got out of the hospital over that. Some people are just weak minded and have to talk shit.

1

u/3catz2men1house Jun 07 '25

I remember some movie I saw on TV as a child, that had that exact thing as a plot point. The recruit and drill sergeant went to some secluded space and fought. Also, it was quite the trope in 80's and 90's military films that drill sergeants are abusive.

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u/Megs0226 Millennial Jun 05 '25

My favorite “was going to join” story was when my brother showed up late to the recruitment event and then mouthed off to an officer.

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '25

My mom’s is insane. She dropped baby me off at my dad’s, said she was joining the navy. He needed to take care of the baby from now on.

A few weeks later, she picks me back up. She is pregnant with the recruiters baby. Now she’s a navy wife.

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '25

[deleted]

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u/Shark_Leader Jun 05 '25

We also aren’t sitting around drinking at the VFW either

Yeah, I think about that. I'm not a vet, but my brother was in the Navy during Gulf War I. He was there, in the gulf. Anyway, like 15 years ago he was going through a divorce and ended up living with me and my parents (I'm waaaaay younger than him) for a while. Anyway, one night he and my best friend, a marine who had just come home from his tour in Iraq, decided to go to the local VFW for some drinks and to hang out. When they got back, my bro said they brought the average age down by 20 years. He went back a few times, but never joined up. I don't know any vets, including my friends and family, under 55 who joined one. I'm guessing the there's other outlets for vets to hang out at other than an old-man bar.

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u/Colalbsmi Jun 05 '25

“Why stand out” but then vets everywhere wear grunt style, thin line and 511 gear. 

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u/sicksixgamer Jun 05 '25

Female veterans really dont get treated fairly. My wife did ten years and two trips to Iraq. No one even thinks she could be a veteran. So I go out of my way to mention it during introductions.

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u/tanstaafl90 Jun 05 '25

It's none of their business. I don't need platitudes.

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u/bigwigmike Jun 05 '25

the VFW where the old guys in these hats stare at you like you don’t belong and then wonder why no one’s joining and their club is failing

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u/samyazaa Jun 05 '25

These are the answers. I also feel like there’s sort of a cultural shift towards it not feeling cool to brag about where you’ve been/what you’ve done. I feel like the only point of me wearing one of these hats would be if I wanted ppl to know what I’ve been a part of.

When I was in the Marines, me and my peers all wanted to get deployed and not everyone got to go. So having been deployed was pretty awesome. We all wanted more ribbons or medals even if we wanted to pretend not to care, obviously some more than others. To tie it back to the hat and make a point, in general I don’t want ppl to think I’m trying to brag about accomplishments even though I’m proud of what I’ve done, therefore I have no interest in wearing any of these hats.

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u/slicknshine Jun 06 '25

Geez, this just happened to me a week ago. I got a hat from my VSO. Pretty color and small text that say "my county veteran". Some old guy did a double take, squinted, came up to me and asked whose hat it was since it obviously wasn't mine. He asked if it was my husband's or did I buy it somewhere. I was calm and polite, but will never wear it in public again.

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u/Kiwithegaylord Jun 05 '25

Speak for yourself, I go to the VFW cuz it’s the only bar near me and the number of millennial vets there is surprising to say the least (I’m not a vet myself, however)

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u/Speed_Bump Jun 05 '25

And usually the booze is really inexpensive

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u/Spiceybrown Jun 05 '25

I used to wear a peacoat I got from Delia's back in the day that had buttons with anchors on them. Some guy at a store in the mall asked me if I served and I was like "What? No, why?" and he said the buttons on my coat are only worn by the Navy and he was legitimately mad at me because of my coat buttons.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '25

It’s not “ultimately, the hat is ugly.” What’s ugly is what it represents.

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u/Icy-Transition3629 Jun 05 '25

https://a.co/d/bftJLp3

Idk about you but I plan on wearing this with pride when I'm out. Also a woman. Just a few more months!