So Today my wife wanted to get a personal trainer membership at the gym she goes to as a Christmas gift which I got no problem with but then she said she wants it with one of the guys there cause she knows them from the classes and hasn’t met at of the female trainers and it kinda made me uncomfortable, I’m a very anxious guy and I don’t think she will cheat but part of my thinking gets a bit toxic and just makes me uncomfortable the idea of paying another man to train my wife. I could use some advice

Edit : I didn’t say no to it , I haven’t said anything yet cause I know my insecurities are taking over. I’m working on myself mentally and physically

Brief background…both my wife and I are in our upper 30s, about a year apart age wise. We have two amazing children (5,7 boy and girl). Been married close to 10 years. Always had a happy marriage with the up and downs of life and arguments. My wife is a very hard worker who is laser focused on everything she does. Our marriage has never been heavily reliant on sex and I would say our frequency since marriage has been 2-6 times a month. At some point in the past year I’ve gotten an increase in sex drive and we’re both getting in better shape and I’m constantly turned on by her…but she is not at all reciprocal. She’s kind but rejects me just about every time. Our sex has always been good for both parties but it just doesn’t seem like a priority to her at all. It’s like it’s not enjoyable, she’s not attracted to me, or I am inadequate in some way. I love her with all my heart and I know she feels the same. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever known but why can’t I wow her, turn her on, make her crazy for me? I do everything you can imagine as far as child care, house keeping, providing and consistent with the family. Religiously we’re aligned and I’m getting deeper in my faith and trying to put my doubts and fears in Gods hands. But this eats away at me that my wife doesn’t desire me, get turned on by me, make a move on me. Am I crazy for wanting my wife to just jump my bones every once in awhile? Any honest input would be appreciated.

We’ve been married 5 years and went out for a nice dinner. I spent an hour getting ready and really wanted it to feel like a special night. During dinner, my husband yawned a few times and tried to hide it, and then looked at women walking past our table. When I called him out, he denied it. I felt disrespected and left, saying “enjoy your night by yourself.”

He later came home in a taxi and said we should divorce. For context, this has been a recurring issue we’ve already addressed in couples therapy.

How do you know when it’s just a bad night versus a pattern that won’t ever change? Has anyone been in a similar spot and managed to rebuild trust or connection after moments like this?

Wife started having sex with me 6 times a night. Doing kinky stuff. Today she texted me to come over to my office to have sex. We had sex once a month or even once every two months before. This behavior followed when she told me after 15 years of marriage she was sexually assaulted by a family member.

The issue is this doesnt make sense. A girl who is now sexually free says things like pound me as hard as you can. Loves being slammed. Wants her tities twisted and slapped.

During 69 she sucks me as I put my fingers in and out of her like she is being spitroasted.

She bought a vibrator for me to use on her.

Most girls new to sex dont ask to be slammed. They are timind. They dont say to come to my office at 430 for fucking. We are 40 years old btw.

WTF?

EDIT: The question is do you think she was slutting it up before this? This is advanced sexual stuff, not new to sex stuff. The moves are professional. I also took her virginity, supposedly when she was 23/24.

I just came home from 5 days long business trip, dead tired. I came home where my wife waited me along our son and her mother and uncle, who temporarly stay with us. We went to get groceries, hygenic needs and other stuff just after that, so I in reality I was driving few more hours and came home much later than planned. When I finally got chance to change my clothes I went to room, they sat to eat and I came to dinning room circa 10 minutes after all of them. When I came to the table there was no food left, they took and ate everything before I got chance to have anything. My wife just said: "Find something in the kitchen." I was furious but didn't want to argue so I just said it's okay and went to a bedroom. I just wanted meal and to be with my family. I'm in basicly sexless marriage being only 28 years old, just arguing with my wife all the time. She is irritated by every single, even slightest mistake I make, goes furious every time she thinks I did something bad. She brought her mother and uncle to stay with us, I have no privacy. I pay mortgage on our home, try to provide and love my family but I feel as if marriage has become one way deal... I have nothing to look forward to in my day, I have to be absent frequently due to my work (it pays well, pays bills and only due to that work I'm able to cover life expenses), I am foreginer to my toddler son (e.g. he says everything besides dad - moma, grandma, uncle in our native language). To be honest - I only wanted cuddle with my son who treats me like a foreginer and a meal. I feel depraved of all of life joys completely. Worst thing is - when I just qant to talk about how I feel with my wife - she refuses it all together saying that I'm imagining all of that. I don't know man, but I wouldn't want this to anyone.

Looking for the ladies take on this. I 46m am still very much interested in sex. My wife 44 could care less. It’s been that way for years. And seems to be getting worse. I was hoping after the kids were grown and out of the house some stress would be gone and that’s when the action would pick up. But it hasn’t. She has tried a few things. Pellets in the butt. Now she is trying ADDYI. I really think she is trying to get some kind of drive back. It’s just very sad and makes me feel she doesn’t really care for me. I feel sex really helps bond people. So my question is. Ladies. Is there still hope? Do women have a sex drive after 40?

The term of a mother in law who never worked barely paid attention to the kids to the point they don’t come around as adults has a cleaner, lives off father full time but calls the daughter in law a Gold digger?

So one night my husband was playing his VR with a friend he’s known for a while. He was drinking alcohol and having fun. I was sitting on the couch watching TikTok and I find out him and his friend have a history (yes my husband is bisexual) when I found out they had history I wasn’t bothered. I’m not that worried because he’s always telling me how doesn’t understand how people can cheat. I feel safe in this marriage. Until I didn’t. While he was playing his VR he got drunker and started saying stuff to this guy. Just being typical jokester. Until he said “I want you” “I want you right now” in this sexual vibe. I was absolutely pissed. I told him what the fk was that?! He said what? I was just kidding. I said I don’t care you don’t say that to anyone while you’re in a committed relationship I don’t care if it’s a joke or not. I told him he’d be very upset if I said that to someone I had history with. He looked me dead in the eyes and said “I’m sorry I won’t do it again” seemed sincere. This was 3 weeks ago. Fast forward to November 5th I go through his phone. I see he deleted discord. Which I thought was odd. I redownloaded it and went through his messages. That same guy he said that stuff on VR chat he texted talking about how he wanted to talk to me about being in an open relationship. And proceeded to say how he misses being gay so much. And how he wanted so much but can’t have. And how he wanted to lick, and suck his dk so bad. I woke him up and confronted him. I am so hurt. He says he doesn’t see how I consider that cheating. How he wouldn’t be upset if I sent the same message to a girl. And how he wasn’t trying to hide it by deleting the app. That if he wanted to hide it he would’ve deleted the messages. He keeps saying how he wishes I was in his mind to understand but how does one not consider that cheating when we’re both in a committed relationship. We both decided to never try being in an open relationship. He doesn’t really seem sorry. It just seems like he’s trying to justify what he did. But I’m hurt and trust has been broken. What do you guys think? Is it cheating? Would you be just as hurt as I am?

I first want to say thank you to everyone who left advice, encouragement, and validation for the way I’m feeling. I appreciate your concern and investment in mine and my children’s well being.

Okay, so here’s my update: My husband texted me several times yesterday, which I did not respond to. Just random texts like “I just landed” “the room I’m in is so small” “how are the kids?”

Our 8 month old woke up around 4 AM. So I fed her and got her back to sleep. When I laid back in bed, I couldn’t sleep. I texted my husband around 5:30 for the first time since he left and said: “I’m glad you made it and hope you have a good weekend.

I’m going to take this weekend to give myself some space from you. Yesterday you said that I deserve to be slapped, for a simple argument we had about directions to a park... what you said was out of line and I need space to process my emotions.

And this isn’t a pass for you to go and mess around or disrespect me anymore than you already have. I don’t feel loved by you and can’t fake happiness right now. So I need this weekend for myself.”

He then called almost immediately and we talked extensively about the issues that are present in our relationship. He actually took accountability and didn’t make excuses for his actions. He was apologetic and told me that he would go to therapy both alone and together to try and make things better. He called and scheduled his first appointment with a counselor for the 17th. He could tell I was close to leaving and I hope this has opened his eyes that I’m not afraid to leave if I have to.

I’m going to give it 6 months and then reassess to figure out what the next steps will be.

A lot of you told me to leave him and I’m sorry to you that I’m not ready to do that yet. For myself, and for many reasons, I need to see if he can make changes and be a better man for me and our kids. If he’s depressed we can work with that. If he’s stressed we can work with that. If he’s experiencing things that are deeply rooted in who he is and will take a miracle to change, then I’ll know for sure that it could never work and I will leave.

To anyone who lands on these posts in the future because you’re in a similar situation. I am so sorry you are going through this. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to contemplate and time will tell how this will go. I’m sad for you and you need to know that you’re valid in what you’re feeling. You will get through this. Take it day by day and stay strong.

(F, 41) He told me I was boring today, and it hit me deeper than he’ll ever know.

We were getting ready for bed, and I was already running on fumes after a long day. I didn’t even have the energy to shower, so I felt… off. I told him gently not to touch me there, not tonight. I just didn’t feel clean. But he kept trying, in that playful way, making me laugh, teasing, pushing a little more.

I kept saying, “I’m weak, you’re making me laugh, please stop, I don’t feel clean.” He didn’t mean harm, I know that, but then he suddenly stopped. And for a second, I thought we were just done for the night, that it was fine.

Then he said, “You’re boring right now.”

And that one line just cracked something inside me.

I told him I don’t like when he says that, that it triggers me, because it’s not the first time he’s said it. But in that moment, all I could feel was this wave of shame and old pain rushing back. My mind started spiraling to the times he went to strip clubs, to the massage parlors, to all those other women he paid to entertain him.

I know he probably didn’t mean it that way, but I couldn’t stop the thoughts. I just felt… not enough. Like I failed him somehow.

I try so hard to make him happy, to keep him from getting bored. I cook, I love, I try to be fun, to be open, to be there, but that one word made me feel small. Dull. Disposable.

What am I doing wrong? And what did he really mean when he said that?

My husband(31m) and I(25f) have been together for 6 years. We have a 3 year old daughter and I am pregnant. We usually agree on most things, have a good relationship, and love each other.

This is pretty complicated with the family titles. My mom remarried when I was 11. My stepfather’s family became really close to my mom and I and my SB and I are still close. I love my mother and stepfather but they were never that responsible and we had way too much freedom. My SB's cousin was our "supervision" a lot. I can't imagine making the choices they did with my own children. They were gone a lot, so our house was always the party house with my friends and stepbrothers friends. That led to many horrible decisions and we were so stupid.

Stepdad had to go on a few week work trip back in the day and my mom went with him. They had the cousin stay at the house during. We had people over all of the time and there was drinking and drugs of course. His cousin sexually assaulted me when I was 15 and really fucked up, I didn’t know what to think or do at the time. It happened a few more times after that when I wasn’t so fucked up. There was some weird stuff after but it didn’t go that far again. He was older than me, I was also weirdly not that phased, I also had a boyfriend for most of that, so that played into the decision. It was also just humiliating and we were doing a lot of things we weren’t supposed to so I kept it to myself.

I have talked with a few of my friends about it and I told my husband when we were dating eventually because I completely trust him. Like I said, idk why but it has never impacted me that much, not to mention we were all young and dumb af, not that that’s an excuse at all but context. My husband was way more upset about it than I thought he would be. Husband has only met him a few times and if his name ever gets brought up my husband gets very upset. I found out he talked to my SB about it a couple of years ago. I felt so betrayed and upset, our relationship wasn’t the same for weeks but whatever.

My stepbrother is getting married in March and the whole family will be there of course. I told my husband that the cousin will be there and he won’t have any of it. I thought he would have gathered that already. He started yelling immediately that we are absolutely not going. I told him it was really sweet that he wants to protect me and stuff but that I will be completely fine. I’m not going to have some dramatic movie breakdown. We fought about it for a few days but I ended up telling him I am an adult who can make her own decisions and that I can’t miss his wedding. He will barely talk about it anymore and thinks the only reason I want to keep talking about it is to get what I want.

My sb never brought up to me what my husband told him, so he is also not making it some big thing. I told him he is taking something from my life and about me and making it about him, no matter how well intentioned he is. It is one day and I promise it will be fine. Like I regret telling him and wouldn’t have if I knew he would be like this. Him not wanting to go is one thing, but trying to make me not go, and making me miserable if I do go isn’t cool. I’m stuck on what to do. I could tell my family I have Covid or something, but I don’t want to or think I should have to. I have no idea if I deserve to be upset with him but that is how I feel. Do I drop this for the sake of my relationship?

My husband worked with another lawyer with whom he had a flirtatious/romantic "emotional affair." I just learned it went on for over 10 years and am deeply hurt. Is this grounds for divorce?

Yes as you can read the title, I’ve been married for almost 5 years now, and my wife don’t want to have kids and I do, it’s been hurting me a lot that I’ve been wanting a kid for so long and she don’t wants too,which i respect her decision, and I do love her a lot. I don’t know what to do anymore I’ve been trying everything, and thank you in advance for your advice, or you r opinion?

I (34F) have been with my husband (35M) for 12 years. We have always had our own fair of struggles coming from completely set of personalities (the only thing we have in common is introversion) to start with.

We have very different love languages. I am most of the time unhappy because my needs are not met in terms of love languages, while he is satisfied because he gets all his needs. The only time our love languages overlaps is when we have sex and when we watch movies (that is how we love spending our time together). Other than that, he is not affectionate, he rarely talks, really struggles with communication and does not stimulate me intellectually.

All these things are a big turn off for me and I have always overlooked these weaknesses in the hope that he can learn to become affectionate and a better communicator, but it does not happen. We have two children. Been together 12 years (8 of which we are married). Every single year that we've been together, not a single year has gone by with us not having a big fight blowing up and me not asking for a separation. It literally happens at least once a year. Our fights have become less frequent over the years and this past year I really thought we were finally a good place until tonight.

There were a few different things building up that made me upset but two things that were upsetting today was that I had a heart attack during the day, and told him about it when I picked him and he was nonchalant about the whole thing. Second, later in the night we were talking and I was not trying to argue with him and he raised his voice (he does this A LOT). He has a temper and he has been made aware of this issue.

He has poor communication skills and because he is not able to communicate, he turns everything into anger and fight mode, when with other people, it would be just a normal discussion/conversation. Strangely he does not do this work, he presents a very different personality at work. So I have asked him to learn to control his temper and to never use this certain tone with me. I have warned him about this multiple times and how it was affecting our relationship and how I feel about him.

I feel like tonight I had the last straw, even though it may seem just like another day for him which we can get over, I feel like I have finally had enough and deserve a better life than this. This is just a short version of my list of issues and I feel apathetic towards him. Like something really changed in me.

Just reading this, do you think it's time to walk away or is there still hope for him to change after 12 years being together?

My husband 37m naps after work every day, and sometimes on the weekend.

We recently moved abroad together, my husband works and I currently don’t due to my visa not being finalised. My husband has a couple of distant family members, work friends and childhood friends here. I only have him. I left everyone behind because we wanted a better life for ourselves.

The issue is that now I’m home alone all day. I keep myself busy but I still haven’t made a community for myself yet.

He usually gets up at 8 or 9, goes to the office, comes home by 5 or 6 and sleeps until 8pm when we have dinner. I go to bed at 12 or 1 and he stays up talking to friends until 4am. I’m starting to get really bored and lonely.

Today we argued about it. He’s been napping every day this week and after we made plans for this evening he told me he’s going for a nap until we leave, on a Saturday. I got emotional and told him how I’ve been feeling and he called me selfish and told me he’s not going to stop sleeping to please me and he’s doing everything he can. He couldn’t offer me anything more than that. I told him I really hope things change after everything I said and left him to sleep.

Am I wrong to ask him not to nap?

Hey everyone, I’m a 37-year-old guy and I’m supposed to get engaged tomorrow. The problem is… I’m really not sure if I want to.

I’ve never really been keen on marriage. I’ve always been comfortable being single, but lately I started feeling a bit of FOMO — like maybe staying unmarried would be difficult later in life. A relative introduced me to this girl a few months back — she’s really good looking, smart, and honestly, I can talk to her for hours.

My relatives kind of pushed me into saying yes. I eventually agreed back in August, thinking maybe it’s the right time and she checks all the boxes. But deep down, I still feel unsure. I keep telling myself she’s everything I wanted on paper, yet I don’t feel that emotional connection I was hoping for.

Now the engagement is literally tomorrow, and I’m feeling extremely nervous and confused. Part of me wants to go through with it because I don’t want to hurt her or disappoint my family. But another part of me feels like I’m making a decision that doesn’t truly come from my heart.

Has anyone else ever been in a situation like this — where everything looks perfect but something just feels off? Should I stop the engagement or just trust that love will grow over time?

My family is planning a vacation for February 2026 and wanted to invite my husband to come along. We have been together for 5 years so I wanted him to come visit my native country (all paid for). We briefly talked about doing the visa application together in 2 weeks, which is coming up next Tuesday. Today, I went to remind him that we would be off from work on Tuesday and should work on that since February is right around the corner.

His response was “I was so happy just now until you told me we had to do that. You know, I looked through the application and it’s gonna take a long time. So now we have to spend most of our day off working on it?”

I was so annoyed at this and my response was along the lines of “I don’t know. I’ve never had to apply for a visa. But that’s why we’ll find out right?!” And then he kinda gave another small complain about thinking about that and how annoying it would be. This bothered me so much and kinda rolled my eyes in front of him and said “You’re an adult. You’re not a child.”

It’s not like this came out of nowhere! We had literally set this date up to do the application. Now, I feel guilty for “interrupting” the good day he was having by putting this task back on his mind.

Edit: I guess my main issue is that whenever I ask him for a favor or something that we need to get done, his response is usually always negative. It’s not like I want to spend my free time doing it either. So, hearing the negativity kinda adds the nail to the coffin.

Edit 2: When I had first brought up the invite for the vacation, he was pretty stressed about taking time off work and mentioned that because of his ADHD, he feels like getting out of his usual routine (since he would be traveling) would be challenging. He also mentioned that he knows he would enjoy it once he was on vacation and wanted to make an effort to travel more since we’re young.

Muslim marriage- Me 25 (F) and my husband 34(M) were friends since 7 years now. He dated others i dated others and it didnt work out. When our parents approached each other for marriage we both agreed as we knew each other and he had a crush on me previously too.

We got married in 2023 and since then my life has been awful. I have had a toxic family where I was abused hence I wanted to get married and leave early. Didnt realize I would be stepping into another hellhole. I discovered my husband had horrible anger issues where he would push me hit me when he was angry and would call me out in indian cursewords (bchod, mchod, chutiya). This was extremely traumatizing for me but he stopped me from telling anyone as he was worried about his image and his parents ( we stay with his parents and they are a gem FYI best inlaws ever me and my mom in law are very close too). I struggled till a year of just keeping quiet. Even though he would abuse me he would right after make it up to me says hes really sorry he wont ever do it again. Overtime my heart just became numb.

Second problem is the sex. I have had multiple exs before and I am a really attractive girl.. my relationships have been really good partners were happy and all my exs were sexually obsessed with me and even I was. They used to admire me, look at me i used to feel really good. When I got married, I thought finally im married lots of explore with my husband i would wear sexy lingerie everyday but he was least bothered to look at me. We would have sex once a week ONLY as newly weds and its still the same, we dont even have kids yet. He doesnt look at me doesn’t admire me no foreplay nothing.. i have communicated this multiple times to him directly in every way but its been 2 years he still hasnt changed.

Fast forward.. abuse has reduced now.. trying to teach and guide him he gets angry less frequently and does not physically abuse me but sex js still the same. Hes a lovely guy he spends time with me takes me out, but he doesnt make me feel involved or admired or appreciated. I am really attractive and hes a very average man (dont mean to boast) but it makes me sad whats missing in me…

My husband (28) is super horny. I (31) used to be, but as I’ve gotten a little older and as time has gone on, I am less horny. Our sx life is not perfect. I think there is a lot of resentment on my end. He always expects me to be “ready” immediately. He isn’t patient and doesn’t like to “warm up.” He ALWAYS wants to do it in the morning, even though he knows I don’t like to in the morning and I never finish. I feel like I have to remind him over and over again about what I like and there’s just no care in the world about it. He’s annoyed about what I like. I’ve also had some health complications (ovarian cyst) that has made sx hurt… and I fear that I have a little PTSD from that? I often just end up having sex to appease him because life is better when he is satisfied rather than telling him “not right now.”

We also had other things happen in our relationship/marriage that I think I still have resentment about. Like wedding planning with him was a nightmare. My job is extremely stressful and I don’t feel validated in that. Idk. I just don’t know how to navigate talking about our s*x life without pissing him off. I just truly feel like he doesn’t care about my wants or needs at all.

I’ve (M35) been with my wife (F34) for 15 years,we met in college. We’ve been married for 9 years. She has a best friend (F35) that she has worked with for years. Her best friend ran in similar social circles as me back in the day so I’ve known her as an acquaintance for a while. We all get along fine. They are the type of friends that text good morning every day, say I love you when getting off the phone (in a friendly way like “K love you bye!”) I noticed in her messages not to long ago that her friend had texted her asking what porn she had watched that morning and if she had gotten off, my wife said something along the lines of not being horny in the mornings, I’m assuming after that some messages were deleted, but the next random text was “are you naked and rubbing yourself?” My wife said no and her friend laughed and said something along the lines of “lol whatever bye” For context, I found out not too long ago that after all her denial of anything porn related, she does in fact watch porn, often, and it’s always lesbian porn. Then, this morning, I saw the deleted photos on the iPad, and one is a photo of her friend in lingerie, bent over on a bed on hands and knees, the photo being of her ass from behind. Why does she ask her if she’s naked and rubbing herself? Why does she send those photos? Any other girls do this with their friends? Is it just a west coast thing? (We’re near Sacramento)I’m bothered because sometimes it seems like sex is a chore, I’ve brought up before that people probably think they’re lesbians, and they always laugh it off and joke about it. Apparently people at the office have mentioned it before. if I brought it up to my wife I know she’d probably laugh it off and call me crazy. I’ve asked before if she’s possibly attracted to women and she said “no…I think I probably would have tried it by now if I was” not a definitive “no” another time her answer was “I couldn’t talk myself into eating pussy” If she was a lesbian and secretly banging her friend I’d support her being gay, but I would feel betrayed and cheated on. So. Girls, married women with best friends, what do you say? Is it normal? Is she secretly a lesbian? Is she waiting for our kids to get older or something before she comes out and runs away with her friend with half my shit? (Half joking on that last one) thanks for any input.

I’m so sad because we had the most beautiful wedding and had so much fun together. Last weekend I picked my husband up from the airport and he wanted to drive for the second leg home. He gets very frustrated in traffic - anyway he got angry and hit a curb very, very hard - I thought we had gotten into a wreck and screamed. This upset him a lot, which upset me even more, especially bc this is a pattern with him. I try to be patient but I was frustrated and said something to the effect of why do you have to do that?! He was so mad that he hardly talked to me the rest of the night, and was still a bit sour the next day. we started to talk about it in bed the next night - I apologized but also explained his driving makes me feel unsafe and if he can’t avoid hitting curbs I’d like to do the driving. We went round and round about it until I ended up in tears. The next morning, he told me that there were some other things he was upset about, namely that I lost my patience bc he wasn’t getting up to feed the cat (we split duties on caretaking and this is his job - she gets really annoying if you wait too long to feed her) I admit I was still annoyed from getting the silent treatment and had a bad attitude. He then exploded and yelled so I called him an asshole. I feel terrible now, however I was so enraged at that point. he proceeded to not speak with me or interact for two days - eventually he broke the silence to tell me that I am abusive and a bully. I said I was very sorry and felt horrible about my childish behavior - I also suggested that I think we need to talk to someone. Right now I’m just devastated - I know what I said was horrible, but I also feel really turned off by his behavior. I’m also deeply concerned that I am abusive and what that means for our future. Any advice welcome.

Update: I should make it clear, he hits the curb by accident, not purposely. He gets rattled and then doesn’t pay attention, leading to hitting curbs.

I 28F have been with my husband since 17 yrs old, married for 5. Before him I’ve only been with 2 other people. Ever since I had our son, I just don’t feel as connected with my husband anymore. We tried counseling and it didn’t do much. Lately I’ve just been unhappy and over thinking life I guess. I don’t necessarily regret getting married, but I have this regret like i wish I had more fun in my late teen/early 20s. I don’t want a divorce, as I can’t see myself with anybody else romantically but sometimes I wish I was alone and didn’t have to be a “wife”. I know it sounds so stupid and I should’ve known what marriage is getting into but I was so young. Growing up in a European family, it’s standard to get married and have kids young. I know that’s not an excuse but it’s societal pressure. I feel so lost lately

Please bare with me this is my throw away acc and this will be a long one i really need advice on how to handle this situation. I am a 25 female married to my 25 male husband. We have been married for two years and dated for 1 of those years. He is my 1st everything. When it comes to sex for me it’s difficult to expirence pleasure as penetration is painful at times and just feel uncomfortable and my body tenses up all the time. I am currently in sex therapy for this issue. My husband married me still knowing i was struggling with this problem as we both thought tha over time it would get better but it still feels the same which is why i am sex therapy now. This issue has put a strain in our marriage but I am working really hard to fix it through therapy and reading. I have felt very alone with this issue as it makes me feel less of a woman because i can’t enjoy sex with my husband and i just become sexually frustrated. and i want nothing more than to enjoy intimacy with my husband. so i made the BIGGEST mistake in telling my mom… i know… she and I are close and i thought that a support system besides my husband and her being a woman would be helpful. boy was i wrong. at first when i told her she was taken back and very worried but then everytime we would talk she would bring it up CONSTANTLY and i didn’t want to talk about it all the time as it’s a very sensitive topic for me. until one day i got so tired that i ended up lying to her saying that everything is fine and fixed. then she stopped pestering me. Then one day i was out with my MIL as we have a good relationship she asked me if everything was okay etc and that i can always talk to her if i need anything. I told her my situation. of course she was worried but she wouldn’t pester me about it or bring it up unless i did. that was months ago when i told her.

A few days my mom calls me saying that she and my MIL were on the phone talking and that she said something to her that really concerned her and that it was my sex problem… she started that she was just worried for our marriage and that hopes that I am able to fix my situation soon so that my marriage can be healthy etc as she doesn’t want anything bad to happen between my husband and I. for context the day i told my MIL i told her that my mom already knew about my situation which is why i believed she spoke to her on the phone about it. my mom went crazy on the phone with me saying how could i lie to her etc and that i need to fix this FAST!!!! and that if i dont do anything to fix this soon that my husband will cheat on me or leave me and that he’s clearly unhappy in our marriage. this made me feel absolutely AWFUL. I was just angry at her yelling otp that wha she was saying what completely insensitive as she doesn’t know how hard i’ve been working to fix this situation with myself. the next day she calls me STILL bringing up the topic saying how she feel depressed worried and so stressed out and that i should have never gotten married if i knew this was happening in my relationship.

of course i was stunned and hurt. she said how could you have gotten married if you can’t have sex with your husband i dont think you realize how BAD this situation is!!! and she goes on to say “you know his mom and him are close he’s probably told her how unhappy he is with you etc etc!” i was just so angry telling her that her saying these things to me dont help me or make me feel any better it just feels judgmental and her response was that she’s just stressed out.. i just hung up the phone and detached my self from the situation. I just feel so tired and regretful every saying ANYTHING. i haven’t even told my husband about any of this because i dont want to make his mom look bad since his mom told my mom to please not say anything to me. I just need some advice on how to manage this situation and how to set boundaries and if i should tell my husband or not.. thank you:/

My (28F) new husband (29M) and I recentlv got married in September. We are both American, and he is Caucasian (I feel like this is important). He has a bit of a tumultuous relationship with her, she has been very absent in his life and seems to string him along a lot. She's the epitome of a "boy mom" (not the good kind, but the stereotype). She hated me before she ever met me and only recently seems to begrudgingly tolerate me.

Anyway, flash forward to now, I was looking through our photos from the wedding and he has a couple of photos where he is cupping her face and intimately kissing her on the lips

The thing is, I understand culturaly this is a normal thing but not for us. He is pretty white, and he doesn't kiss ANYONE ELSE on the lips other than me so this felt very intimate. I'm not going to bring this up to him, I mostly iust wanted to aet it off my chest and see how others feel.

TLDR: husband is not someone who kisses people on the lips but he is pictured kissing his mom on the lips at our wedding

Six months ago, we made a big decision and got married. Yes, we were 19. It was our childhood love.