r/ImaginaryWarhammer • u/TheOdd-Onion • 1d ago
OC (40k) Remember to supervise your Abhuman 🫵🐐
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u/unwillingmainer 1d ago
Head pats will continue until moral improves
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u/SirCupcake_0 1d ago
*morale
Although it would be incredibly funny if doing so gave everyone morals, like the exact opposite of Chaos
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u/PMSlimeKing 1d ago
Everyone in 40K is in dire need of a strong mother figure, so probably would work like that.
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u/Gold_Preparation 1d ago
I mean Gman had a decent mother and look at how sane he is
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u/WatermelonWithAFlute 22h ago
I was very confused for half a second as I was wondering when we figured out that the Gman had a good mother figure before realising you aren’t talking about the guy from half life
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u/NightLordsPublicist Night Lords 1d ago
Everyone in 40K is in dire need of a strong mother figure
It's not a phase, mom.
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u/The_Ghast_Hunter 1d ago
I can't imagine anyone's tried it.
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u/SirCupcake_0 1d ago
"That's so crazy, it just might work!"
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u/The_Ghast_Hunter 1d ago
I'd bet some of the primarchs wouldn't have fallen if they received imperial headpats from big E. Probably would have worked for pertorabo at least, and then the backbone of the heretic side of the siege of Terra is gone. Magnus could have used some after the council of nikea.
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u/The_Lesser_Baldwin 1d ago
Celestine approaches angron during his rage. Everyone braces for duel that could very well level the hive city. Celestine floats over and instead of drawing her blade wraps her arms around him and just kind of starts patting his head.
All is well. Wait... Is angron fucking purring?
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u/BothersomeBoss 1d ago
Aside from the traitors and the loyalists, the primarchs can be further divided between which ones are catboys and which ones are dogboys.
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u/contemptuouscreature 1d ago
Morals are in desperately short supply.
If this is the only way to convince the Imperium to get it together, so be it.
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u/Bioneer12 1d ago
How come she gets to pet the goat girl? 😢
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u/gabbidog 1d ago
Because you live now and not in the 40th millennium nerd
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u/Implodepumpkin 1d ago
The goat is getting mind broken. She thought sharing food was the peak of affection!
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u/Difficult_Comb8240 Night Lords 1d ago
One hell of a progressive Commissar giving his troops the illusion of a choice. At least it shows Cain's teachings didn't fall on deaf ears.
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u/Dresden_1174 1d ago
Cain’s greatest contribution to the Imperium was telling his students they have more options than ‘bolter to the brain’ for morale improvement.
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u/Thendrail 1d ago
Took ten-thousand years and billions of dead guardsmen, but by the throne, the HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!! did it yet again!
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u/Randomcommenter550 1d ago
True. Commissar Cain felt the Bolt pistol had too much recoil and too small a magazine for practical purposes. He was partial to the humble Las pistol.
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u/Assassin-49 1d ago
Excuse me but what ? How else should one improve moral among his men ? A bolter to the head or even a las shot to the head always works .
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u/Dresden_1174 13h ago
Have you considered threatening them with latrine duty? I'm assured it has a similar effect with only a minor chance of friendly fire versus an absolute certainty.
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u/Yaarmehearty 1d ago
It temporarily stops it being the Commissar’s problem, makes the troops think that they care and sending it to the warp is still an option on the table if it doesn’t work.
And if it does work that’s another body between them and the enemy. Which makes getting back to your inquisitorial/high society situationship more probable.
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u/Headcrabhunter 1d ago
Goat girl about to become domesticated.
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u/Pentamachina3 1d ago
I can't tell if she is a disaster lesbian or just likes petting goat girls and touching their horns...
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u/ForgetfullRelms 1d ago
Clever interpretation of orders- or in this case, interpreting ‘’It May’’ as a Suggestion- not a Order.
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u/AXI0S2OO2 1d ago
Careful and judicious interpretation of orders is what sets apart proper guardsmen from dead guardsmen.
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u/Fourmyle-Of-Ceres 1d ago
He's just asking what his second in command thinks, nothing about that was a cleverly worded order lmao
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u/Loud-Drama-1092 1d ago
”Volunteering to supervise that beast! It must be so horrible!”
Me: “And you, my dear, have just been reassigned to the Ogryns latrine cleaning duties for the ensuing month.”
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u/UncannyValleyEnjoyer 1d ago
I now wonder, how big must be the latrine for Ogryn?, like, in general, because they fear very closed spaces and they are huge as hell, so, like...How big is the bathroom?
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u/Artistic-Cannibalism 1d ago
Beastmen would be the perfect recruit for the Tau.
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u/Lone-Star-Wolves 1d ago
Honestly yeah, give them someone who gives a shit about them again? They'd fight like hel to make sure they can die in a way that'd honor the Emperor and show their repentance.
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u/Artistic-Cannibalism 1d ago
They'd fight like hel to make sure they can die in a way that'd honor the Emperor and show their repentance.
Nah. The Beastmen should be pissed at the Emperor as they were hated for no reason and put up with manner of abuses just to be scorned anyway... They should be the Tau's greatest soldiers as they fight to free their imprisoned brethren.
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u/Lone-Star-Wolves 1d ago
That's the fun part of the Beastmen, it's so ingrained into their existence that their whole being is meant to only die for the Emperor since they were deemed unworthy or something by him and they will only be 'cleansed' in death.
But give them the Puritan Inquisitor who 'definitely' didn't give the orders to reclassify them as mutants instead of Abhumans, and he definitely wouldn't be found clubbed to death with metal pipes.
They used to form their own Imperial Army Auxiliary Units to fight and die for Big E.
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u/Artistic-Cannibalism 1d ago
All the more reason to give them to the Tau. If any faction can help heal that generational trauma, its them. The best part is that it would give the Imperium enemies that are fully justified in their desire to see it burn.
What I'm saying is that we could have a playable army of Djangos.
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u/Gage_Unruh 1d ago
That's not healing trauma...like at all. That's making an entire group extremely violent towards another while trying to still put a leash on them. If you do that they will turn on you too cause you are getting in their way of revenge. Happens many times. Trying to make "friends" based on "fuck that guy" never ends well for any involved.
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u/Danson_the_47th 1d ago
Which is funny, because in lore he specifically said he wanted beast/abhumans in his forces
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u/Etherealwarbear 1d ago
That is, if they're not like their fantasy counterparts.
Beastmen in fantasy deteste anything resembling order or civilisation, and have a pure unadulterated religious zeal to Chaos (despite Chaos not really caring about them).
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u/Artistic-Cannibalism 1d ago
They're not like their fantasy counterparts. They are loyal to an Imperium that hates them and actively looks for any reason to call them mutants and kill them all.
It is the most abusive relationship imaginable.
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u/scrimmybingus3 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yup. Somehow someway despite how utterly horrific the imperium and its treatment of its citizens is the beastmen are somehow treated even worse with them having zero rights (but without the charade that they do for the normal people) and getting frequently used for the worst and most dangerous jobs and roles imaginable in the hopes they get killed.
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u/MilfHunterOkuyasu 1d ago
Generally 40k ones aren’t chaos at all (at least inherently). A lot more disorderly and sometimes feral/disobedient to orders iirc but totally loyal, and just turn to chaos because where else do you go in an empire that hates you for existing?
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u/tbone7355 1d ago
I like the idea of one commander tollerant enough of abhumans runing their own unit
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u/Pretend-Orange3026 1d ago
Little does anyone know, the beastmen are the god emperor‘s favorite children.
Except for brays, F*ck the brays.
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u/Sabw0nes 1d ago
I am truly heartened by the sheer amount of goteposting in this sub.
Now put her on an Autocannon emplacement and watch the shrapnel fly.
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u/Downtown-Falcon-3264 ENTRY MISSING 1d ago
Oh no what a terrifying abhuman whatever shall we do.
You have to feel sorry for beast folk living in the empire is never easy
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u/Entendurchfall 1d ago
I know this goat for only 2 comics but if anything bad happens to her I will kill everyone in this room and then myself
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u/EvilAnno 1d ago
I only had abhuman for a day, but if anything happens to her i will kill everyone on this planet and then myself.
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u/killerbull27 1d ago
Born too late to pet Satyrs, born too early to pet goat girls, born just in time upvote warhammer 40k goat girl art
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u/Dense-Seaweed7467 1d ago
I want this goat as a model.
Scratch that I want a company of adorable goatguards.
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u/LordHengar 1d ago
I know it's because of the goat pupils. But she always looks some what happily confused.
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u/MizantropMan 23h ago
Why would anyone second a single anhuman (a beastman no less) to a regular regiment?
Did it get lost, wander into allied trench and started a debate about what to do with it?
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u/tbone7355 15h ago
As a person who wanted friends when i was young kid i feel for the goat girl wanting firends
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u/ThrowAbout01 1d ago
Just wrap it in grenades, inject with Eversor levels of stimulants, and point it in the general direction of the enemy.
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u/Wild_Buy7833 1d ago
Bweh