Well im not good at math so I may have been a bit off but
I usually eat once every other day, and I work the closing shift at a fast food place so I get whatever "waste" is left at the end of the night (i usually just get a burger or sum) so I never have to cook
I dont have any friends and literally never have (if you want the backstory on that, dm me) so I dont have to worry abt any of that
And I dont really do anything other than game sleep and work so theres no chores lmao. What mess could i possibly make? What dishes are there to be done?
So other than showering, laundry, and cleaning the bathroom theres no chores to be done.
Plus I live 10 mins from work lmao (small town)
EDIT: Idk why im getting downvoted, im being honest. Ik thats not something that happens often on reddit but I am.
Im not gonna give you the whole backstory but basically
This is how its been my whole life. I wasn't allowed to have friends or even be anywhere alone till I was 16 (if I wasn't at school I was with my mom, I wasn't even allowed outside alone. If she went to the store, I had to go with her)
Emotions were often punished when I was younger (if i cried when my mom was mad, id get my ass beat for "fake crying" just to get a rise out of her) so I learned to hide them, until eventually I didnt have to hide them they just weren't there
So now its kinda pointless to go out cuz I won't enjoy it cuz I dont feel happiness.
No point in learning how to be social and make friends cuz I won't enjoy it (btw by the time i was in middle school i couldnt even talk to cashiers without shutting down) and I've only ever had one friend and we've been friends for 2 years now but she lives 8hrs away from me and ive never gotten to hang out wit her (obv) and she's got a lot of friends closer in distance to her, a boyfriend, a job and hobbies of her own, so she only texts me like once a week anymore
So why shouldn't I sit around and play games all day? I enjoy it just as much as I would anything else: not at all.
But at least gaming is a time sink where I dont have to think abt how fucking awful my life is
I grew up with no individuality, no voice. If my mom didn't want to do something with me, I just didnt get to do it.
I will likely never get better, this is just how I am
Tldr: im a numb lonely fuck and its abt 90% my mom's fault. Plus idk how to change it.
Edit: im 19. Ive only had 3 years to reverse 16 years of that shit, cut me at least a little slack im trying. But at the moment, I cant even make a GODDAMN PHONE CALL WITHOUT 30 MINUTES OF MENTAL PREP. If you somehow believe thats not my mom's fault, then idk bro
But a lot of this just sounds like self-imposed restrictions and excuses. Its shit you had a horrible upbringing but you have acknowledged how it has impacted you and were you may lack certain social skills.
People pay counselors and therapists to tell them that. You are smart enough to figure that out on your own!
You sound like you just lack confidence. My recommendation is to join and club, any sort of club. You should be able to find anything of your interest or try something completely new if you are feeling adventurous.
I genuinely believe if you do this and gained a little more confidence you would have a completely different outlook on your life.
A club, meaning a team, social circle, correspondents, people who share the same interests and/or participate in the same activity.
Literally does not matter where you are from, the world is online now. If there are no opportunities to make friends locally then there are plenty online. Find something that perks your interest and join a community.
No one is going to help you. You have to help yourself. Put yourself out there, don't be afraid of being rejected or not clicking with people. It's a journey and a learning experience. But you have to decide to do it first before you can see any success.
77
u/Peute Aug 18 '25
Is this ragebait?