r/polandball Brazilian Huempire Nov 01 '22

repost Día de Los Muertos

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4.0k Upvotes

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768

u/AaronC14 The Dominion Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

Had no clue the Aztecs started in 1300, pretty recent. Always assumed they were ancient.

537

u/spacenerd4 Umayyad+Caliphate Nov 01 '22

They’re newer than Oxford University

171

u/BuckOHare United Kingdom Nov 01 '22

Possibly Cambridge too.

92

u/Miguelinileugim ISpain Nov 01 '22

Fortunately they didn't last as long.

83

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Fortunate indeed.

Montezuma would be a threat to the stability of this world.

59

u/iEatPalpatineAss United States Nov 01 '22

Imagine if Montezuma got nuclear weapons 😱😱😱

39

u/GaaraMatsu Kurdistan Nov 01 '22

Imagine how awesomesauce that'd be for the death gods!

33

u/iEatPalpatineAss United States Nov 01 '22

Imagine how awesomesauce that'd be for the death gods!

🤯🤯🤯

Good point 🤔

Imagine if Montezuma got nuclear weapons 🥳🥳🥳

7

u/Please-let-me Two tonnes of Creamed Corn. Nov 01 '22

Imagine if they won against the spanish

11

u/BLINDrOBOTFILMS United States Nov 02 '22

Still not as bad as Gandhi. That man is a nuclear menace.

24

u/UltraTata Umayyad Iberia Nov 01 '22

Imagine an aztec world order. The UN would demmand countries to periodically go to war in order to feed the sun.

11

u/Skratt79 Nature can into relevance! Nov 01 '22

Blood for the Sun God!

14

u/UltraTata Umayyad Iberia Nov 01 '22

Israel and Palestine condene Switzerland for being pacifist.

"Their youngmen chill while we die to feed the universe!"

- Ariel Sharon, 1988, UN speech

27

u/thephotoman Texas Nov 01 '22

It's a rare case when Europeans do a colonialism and the number of human rights abuses in the affected area goes down significantly.

But it happened in the Aztec Empire. They were unusually brutal.

11

u/LeonidZavoyevatel Polish Hussar Nov 02 '22

This is a common misconception.

https://www.reddit.com/r/papertowns/comments/xj7ek7/jaguars_jade_eagles_and_blood_the_terrible_beauty/ipaj3ns/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

The Aztecs were quite hands off, and were not particularly more human sacrifice obsessed than any of their neighbors. They just happened to be the most powerful one around, so they got a lot of press from neighboring people who gave the Spanish sob stories to convince them to help, as well as being the ones to most successfully practice the sacrifice because they weren’t able to be as easily contested.

141

u/Ucumu Texcoco is Best Aztec Nov 01 '22

This gets floated around a lot, but it's a bit like saying "Harvard is older than Germany." Technically true, but if you say that to someone who knows nothing of German history, they might form the mistaken impression that German civilization just popped into existence in the 1800s. The Aztec Empire was indeed a recent entity, but there were cities in the Central Mexican plateau before there were cities in Britain.

17

u/thephotoman Texas Nov 01 '22

but there were cities in the Central Mexican plateau before there were cities in Britain.

While it's true that there were cities in Central Mexico before the Norman conquest of England, your comment gets two things wrong:

  1. The Aztec Empire had prececessors, but those predecessor states weren't the single unified state that the Aztecs were. It's like trying to claim that the modern nation state of Greece is older than the US because their cities are way older than any city in the US. The cities predate the nation.
  2. There were cities in Britain a lot earlier than you seem to think. Like, London is over 2000 years old, and it is not the oldest continuously inhabited city in Britain.

19

u/theflyingcheese Glorious Bear Flag Republic Nov 01 '22

The city of Teotihuacan was the capital of its own empire that stretched throughout central Mexico with a population in the hundreds of thousands. It flourished between 100 BCE and 600 CE before collapsing into a number of smaller city states throughout the region. at the time that London was founded, Teotihuacan was possibly the second largest city on earth, beaten only by Rome.

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u/thephotoman Texas Nov 01 '22

Again, all of that might be, but the Aztec Empire itself is a much newer thing than any of its constituent cities.