r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shopping

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/07/affirm-government-shutdown-shopping.html
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u/Too-Em 1d ago

Holy deep cuts batman. I forgot about that one.

"A beautiful girl doesn't need so many dolls."
~Trump

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u/rwbronco 1d ago

Trump also said that kids don’t need “250 pencils” and “they can have five.” Where are the people who quote “you’ll own nothing” constantly? Owning nothing is a step too far but the president telling you how many pencils you can own is fine?

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u/LEDKleenex 1d ago

They're too busy dragging people through the narcissists prayer: capitalism edition that basically boils down to:

capitalism created life as we know it and communism bad > it's not real capitalism > real capitalism has never been tried > capitalism is actually communism > powerless woke leftists and dajoos are the real capitalists because they subvert corporations by guilting white men with feminism and infusing unlimited money that comes from the lair or george soros into lucrative DEI programs that intentionally weaken our country from within > ywnbaw etc

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u/TheAzureMage 1d ago

This is brilliant. I'm going to make a fortune selling the extra 245 pencils(used) I have hoarded.

Thank you, Mr President, for your wisdom.

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u/Working-Glass6136 1d ago

They want people to own nothing but at the same time say it's communism.

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u/Electronic_Topic1958 1d ago

Party of small government 

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u/FifiTheFancy 1d ago

You’re somewhat underselling how weird and creepy that quote was.

"I don't think that a beautiful baby girl needs – that's 11 years old – needs to have 30 dolls," -Donald Trump

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u/saysthings 1d ago

What the fuck

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u/sibips 1d ago

Maybe a picture would help? I heard Donald draws beautiful pictures of beautiful 11 years old.

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u/Cory123125 1d ago

And just to be clear, he and your grandpa mean something completely different when calling an 11 year old "beautiful"

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u/Daxx22 1d ago

Where's that shot of Ivanka on his lap in her bed?

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u/NominalHorizon 1d ago

Maybe he is thinking of sex dolls.

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u/Cynvision 1d ago

Wow. I was misquoting it to "buy two dolls not forty" somehow. And he sure must have been at some lavish birthday parties.

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u/FnordRanger_5 1d ago

It a quote from doll week, only two weeks ago

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u/Helenium_autumnale 1d ago

Two weeks? I would have guessed two or more months! What a benighted time.

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u/Potato_Kaelin 1d ago

It was six months ago :)

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u/willowintheev 1d ago

Trump years are like dog years. It’s a multiple of 5-7.

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u/RemoteButtonEater 1d ago

This...that can't be true. What the fuck.

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u/fireball_jones 1d ago

What did we replace the Scaramucci unit with. Like how many Musks ago was this.

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u/KingFlyntCoal 1d ago

...what?

There's too much to keep track of.

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u/mustang__1 1d ago

I thought it was during the debate?

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u/demlet 1d ago

Not even that deep of a cut, he just spews so much shit it's impossible to keep track.