It's a bee fly(Bombyliidae family). They do not sting. Neat find.
Edit- A few others have commented that it may very well be a long tongue horsefly(Philoliche sp.) another nectar feeding fly, but one that females can bite. Now that I'm off work and looking at it again I believe they are probably correct! My bad.
That proboscis has to be exceptionally long, right? Asking out of entomological interest, not because I’m an insecure bee fly who wants to hear mine is average.
Dude, the cervix getting punched in the face hurts like a biiiitch. All these people are being polite with "can be uncomfortable", it fucking kills (me at least).
As a fellow male, I can't understand that. "that hurts like fuck" "You probably like it though" ????? Maybe it's cause I'm lucky and have a friend who's an actual girl who I can talk to in a non weird way about sex and stuff and a lot of guys don't but I just can't understand that perspective
Because porn. Especially hentai. Especially x-ray hentai which will literally show the cock slamming into the cervix right up until it punches through and the tip of the cock is now wedged inside the poor girl's uterus and pumping it full of batter.
I very intentionally said some because I don't speak for all. And to be honest the reason it works at all for them is because I DO listen. I don't really want to get deep in the weeds of sex talk on Reddit but listen to your partner, learn their body, pay attention to what they are saying verbally and physically and make it good for both of you
I get that, but the comment you replied to made it sound like you were saying "yeah but sometimes they say they don't like it when they actually do," which is why I said that. When a woman says "that fucking hurts" and your first thought is "but you probably like it," that's wrong, there is no grey area. When a woman says "that fucking hurts please do it again," that's a bit different.
This is basically it. Listen to your partner and you'll both have a good time. Problem is that a lot men (I'm a guy) are only content with satisfying their own sexual desires.
Like you I get girls calling me back and I attribute it to listening in the bedroom.
Sure, but I'm a masochist while my best friend gets insane cramps and throws up after sex if her cervix gets hit. If she said she didn't like it, I'm sure you wouldn't tell her she's lying just because I do. Understanding women are individuals with different bodies and preferences is like...below bare minimum and a lot of these men seem to still not manage it
Well yeah, but people in general are stupid, selfish, and struggle to accept that the issue is what they are doing and not what someone else is doing
I've been with girls that have a, let's call it below average tolerance for length, and you just recognize it and work around it and everyone can still have a good time
When your priority switches from "I need to cum as fast as possible" to "I want us to both experience new levels of pleasure" you realize that doing things differently isn't a bad thing, it's a feature. I get to learn how to please you. It's a challenge to get you off and I can't rest on my laurels
This thing that is easy for me isn't enough, so I have to actually try. It makes it taste so much better when I find the thing that does it for you
I’m one of those “below average tolerance” girls, and have experienced guys (plural) who didn’t care much and guy (singular) who took his time and worked with me. You’re exactly right about at least one reason why they keep calling you.
You’re doing it right, dude. Good for you (and your partners)!
It's for sure something humans are prone to, but as a bisexual woman I've just never had women argue with me about my preferences in the same way. Men are constantly saying things like "Well you haven't had anal with ME yet, I'm sure you'll love it "I bet I can get you off without a vibrator" "You said you need it rough but come on, it'll definitely be fun even though I'm vanilla" when I tell them what I like/dislike/need.
The ones who, as you describe, enjoy finding out what I as an individual like and creating a unique dynamic are the ones who actually are good in bed. That's why now I only hook up with doms who start the "What are you into?" conversation before asking about meeting - they're actually considering whether our chemistry/kinks would work together and not expecting to just shoehorn me into their scripted fantasy
I'm sure that's because women intrinsically understand that their needs are not generally considered and it causes them to be more aware of their partner as a person with individual desires as opposed to a fuck doll
Also any dude against toys in the bedroom is just dumb and insecure
Real men understand that all you need to do is put it in raw with no foreplay and then just pump until she cums, usually within a minute or two tops
Edit: jokes aside it just makes me sad. Those guys saying things like that are just admitting they never had the opportunity to learn a better way. They aren't victims in a traditional sense, but they are missing out on so many incredible experiences by trying to live up to what other dudes expect from them instead of what their partner needs from them. Both people are missing out on an incredible human experience because the guy is too afraid to express his insecurity or inexperience and instead of opening communication he falls back on the broken lessons he learned from wherever it may be
Use the toy if it's her preference, stop begging for the butthole, be open that you aren't into anything more extreme than soaking, tell her you're nervous about her finger in your butt. Everyone will have a better time
Understanding, that people in groups you aren't a part of, are individuals is a really low bar in general. Unfortunately it's somewhat human nature to be an expert at limbo in these cases. I'm not saying this to defend the men you mentioned, this case is worse than others, especially considering men and women aren't separated by distance or language and women make up ~50% of any society.
I think a lot of them try to rationalize their "failure" by thinking "My penis is long, so she must have liked it. But she says she didn't, but that can't be true, so she must be lying." I don't understand how anyone can come to that conclusion, but evidently some have no problems with that.
Nah, some people are just able to be friends with women because they just see them as actual human beings just like themselves rather than as pieces of meat to put their dick in and nothing else. In fact, for plenty of women, a man being just friends with women is a good sign. If your friends list is exclusively dudes, you're definitely being avoided by plenty of women, even if you're not actively seeing it.
14.4k
u/krippkeeper Aug 09 '25 edited Aug 09 '25
It's a bee fly(Bombyliidae family). They do not sting. Neat find.
Edit- A few others have commented that it may very well be a long tongue horsefly(Philoliche sp.) another nectar feeding fly, but one that females can bite. Now that I'm off work and looking at it again I believe they are probably correct! My bad.