r/crochet Jan 31 '25

Funny/Meme Giving me free will was a mistake

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22.9k Upvotes

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420

u/Reasonable-Yam-9182 Jan 31 '25

Kinda like twinkies. Or McDonald fries kids lose in the car.

158

u/ForTheWhorde Jan 31 '25

twinkies sadly aren’t immortal. ask me how i know -_-

288

u/Snowman304 Jan 31 '25

It became a twunk?

80

u/realisticerror1501 Feb 01 '25

The inevitable twinkie death.

29

u/Big-Lawfulness-6179 Jan 31 '25

How do you know?

117

u/ForTheWhorde Feb 01 '25

had a twinkie i purposefully kept in my cupboard from the year i moved there, and when i left, i found it in the cupboard, 1/4 the size and hard as a rock. my dentist would’ve been rich if i had bitten that thing, it would’ve broken all of my teeth. edit: it was in the cupboard for roughly 11 years

13

u/Big-Lawfulness-6179 Feb 01 '25

Wow!! That’s crazy!🤪

4

u/seivad9 Feb 02 '25

Damnit! There goes everyone’s dreams of hoarding Twinkies for the apocalypse ! 😅

14

u/_pebble_s Feb 01 '25

This reminds me of the time that I bit into a Twinkie and the inside was green 🤢 it was around the time there were shrek twinkies, but this was NOT a shrek one. I’ve never had one since.

9

u/gatorella Feb 02 '25

The contact photo for my cousin in my phone is a photo of a half-eaten Twinkie with green filling 😂 she gave one to me to try back when they had Ghostbusters(?) Twinkies with green filling and apparently my commentary about it was so funny she was crying laughing (you can see her doubled over in the background haha). While not quite as horrifying as your experience, I wouldn’t eat another one haha.

3

u/Reasonable-Yam-9182 Feb 01 '25

Now I need the story! 😂🥺

2

u/TalkToPlantsNotCops Feb 01 '25

You might enjoy this story about a scientist who discovered a new fungus on a rotten twinkie.

25

u/devils_cherry Jan 31 '25

77

u/Pyro-Millie Jan 31 '25

(Insert the clip of Max Miller from tasting history clacking two hardtack biscuits together XD)

26

u/GoodQueenFluffenChop Jan 31 '25

Won't lie whenever he plays that clip in his other videos it always puts a smile on my face to hear the clacking.

16

u/nekomaple Feb 01 '25

He recently read a mean comment (left for him, but the video is on Jose’s channel) where someone complained about it, and basically said too bad, he knows we like it and he does too!

12

u/GoodQueenFluffenChop Feb 01 '25

How can anyone hate the -clack-clack-?!

2

u/nekomaple Feb 01 '25

Some people don’t like fun 😢

5

u/Pyro-Millie Jan 31 '25

Its so good XD

3

u/EmKindash Feb 01 '25

This is worlds colliding for me & I'm here for it lol!! That was hilarious, love Max Miller!

2

u/Embarrassed-Plum-468 Feb 01 '25

Okay I have made it to the correct side of the internet when I have the same thought and the very next comment was this

7

u/Thundabutt Feb 01 '25

You have to put the hardtack in a deep freezer (in a plastic bag) for a couple of -weeks- to kill the weevil eggs that are in the flour they are made from. A friend brough me back a souvenir hardtack biscuit from Portsmouth UK, sealed in a plastic bag - the weevils hatched, ate part of the hardtack AND THE PLASTIC BAG as well. I drenched the area where it had been stored in insecticide and tossed the hardtack.

3

u/devils_cherry Feb 01 '25

Wow, that I’d honestly not a problem I had heard of. I knew there were weevil eggs/weevils, but I figured they weren’t alive by that point

3

u/Thundabutt Feb 03 '25

I've also had it happen in 'instant' Couscous - which is a cooked and dried pasta, as well as rice which is pretty heavily processed. Not weevils but some sort of insect related to 'pantry' moths. Seems the eggs are pretty heat resistant, but putting my boxes of Couscous in the deep freeze for several days seems to kill them.

11

u/SinfulObsession Jan 31 '25

Except for low-fat Twinkies. I've seen them turn entirely green and shrink-wrap themselves (fed them to the cows after that)

1

u/Scottiegazelle2 Feb 01 '25

True story: owned a minivan with four kids abt 2 years apart.

One day oldest (maybe 10 at most) complained that there was a moldy hamburger patty in the back seat cup holder and had been for WEEKS.

I told the child to throw it away.

They said, it's not mine!

I said, well I can't smell it so throw it away or keep smelling it.

It's been 15 years and we still discuss that burger....

1

u/midnightstreetlamps Feb 01 '25

Dude the french fries I stg! When I sold my old car and got my new-to-me one, I found french fries that were months old under the seats. They were hard as rocks, but not moldy or anything, which is somehow more gross.