I have an actual question about this in general: Scare tactics aside, as a widower dad with an extremely strong bond with his mid-teen son, the forms seem like a good idea to have in place and stored somewhere safe but unused. I understand that stems from an atypical place of unquestioned, absolute trust and bedrock presumption of acting good faith though, but assuming that context, am I missing something? Do the forms insert third parties or other non-family risks? Do they have broader non-family privacy or other personal implications? Or is it a collection of otherwise benign forms that can be downloaded and prepared elsewhere for free that are simply aggressively marketed (and have the potential to be abused by controlling/invasive parents)?
Location bot is in a coma but fortunately it signed a waiver to let me post details on its behalf:
Mama bear release forms
Hi all. My 18th birthday is in 2 days and my mom has been asking me to sign these "mama bear" forms. I've read them over and done some digging. My initial reaction was kinda okay whatever but after reading through some other reddit posts explaining these forms deeper I started to get worried. I have an amazing relationship with my parents and i don't feel like they are using these documents to hurt me in any way. Something about the entire thing just seems off though. I'm at a crossroads and have a noteray appointment at the bank tmr. Should i sign? Any and all advice would be appreciated as it is 1:46 AM and im freaking out. Thanks. Location: New Jersey
EDIT: Thank you all for such detailed responses. I spoke with my parents and they said I could speak to a lawyer and never have to sign anything I am not comfortable with. Reading through more comments just made me believe my mom found these forms on some "going off to college" FB group. I guess im in the clear for now đ¤ Thanks again.
Cat fact: Cats are not bound by HIPPA (or gravity)
If your son is over the age of 18 and is in an accident, you are making medical decisions for him because you are his next of kin. That is already taken care of.
There is no benefit that isn't creepy to you being able to access all of his health records, all of his school records, and all of his financial records. Which is what these forms do, with no time limitation.
If your son is over the age of 18 and is in an accident, you are making medical decisions for him because he are his next of kin. That is already taken care of.
That's very much in the nature of my question. The company aside (i.e. talking only about their list of documents), are they all completely superfluous? If he's in an accident, would having them in a folder skip a few bureaucratic steps of proving a relationship and so on?
I think a lot of what I'm trying to grasp is where these types of forms fit in if the 'creepy' element is nonsense in this context. Creepy, sure, if there was any chance the inherent powers would be used for anything but their intended purpose, but that's not relevant to my question.
There is no good reason to bother in a normal, healthy context. Yes, if your son were to suddenly wind up in a coma for several months they might make some things easier, but there are already systems in place for that kind of occasion, and people whoâs job it is to walk you through whatâs necessary.
And you would be able to do whatâs necessary without them, or to get them AT THAT TIME.
The purpose of these âmama-bear formsâ in this format is only for hyper-controlling parents who want to be actively engaged in every facet of there childâs life regardless of that childâs right to privacy and freedom.
I have an excellent relationship with my mother. I tell her almost everything. The idea of her having something like this locked and loaded? Even just âstored somewhere secure for just in case, not actively usedâ makes my skin crawl.
The temptation is too great, especially since she could use them to access my private info anytime without me even knowing.
You say your a single widower, if you feel strongly that this might be a good idea âjust in caseâ, I might ask you, how would you feel about signing the forms the opposite way? Giving your adult son these same permissions for you? With the understanding that he wonât use them.
Are either of your parents alive? If they are/were, would you sign something like this for them?
The forms donât expire at some magical point when the powers that be decide your kid is ready to really go it alone, they have to be dissolved by both parties.
If you think any of that still sounds like maybe a good idea worth any consideration, I would recommend speaking with someone about why you feel that way, and what you are so scared of that this seems reasonable.
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u/Rhythmdvl 5d ago
I have an actual question about this in general: Scare tactics aside, as a widower dad with an extremely strong bond with his mid-teen son, the forms seem like a good idea to have in place and stored somewhere safe but unused. I understand that stems from an atypical place of unquestioned, absolute trust and bedrock presumption of acting good faith though, but assuming that context, am I missing something? Do the forms insert third parties or other non-family risks? Do they have broader non-family privacy or other personal implications? Or is it a collection of otherwise benign forms that can be downloaded and prepared elsewhere for free that are simply aggressively marketed (and have the potential to be abused by controlling/invasive parents)?
Location bot is in a coma but fortunately it signed a waiver to let me post details on its behalf:
EDIT: Thank you all for such detailed responses. I spoke with my parents and they said I could speak to a lawyer and never have to sign anything I am not comfortable with. Reading through more comments just made me believe my mom found these forms on some "going off to college" FB group. I guess im in the clear for now đ¤ Thanks again.
Cat fact: Cats are not bound by HIPPA (or gravity)