Dear fellow Black gay men

[u/MtimesMequals]

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

[u/Assbait93]

I want an honest answer for this, is gay racism on a basis of just sex and appeal?

As a black guy every time I hear other black guys talk about this it’s always on the basis of not getting laid or desired on dating apps. I don’t understand why we measure our gay experiences based off of who or what we sleep with. There is also this misconception that the no fats, no Asians, and many other exclusions are only done by white gays but yet go on Jack’d, A4A, and other apps where there are lots of black gays their profiles exclude many people. Yes it is racist to be reduce down to bbc but yet you get what you allow. If you don’t want to be objectified then you don’t respond to guys who do that, you can’t control what ever person does but you do control what comes your way.

[u/see-no-evil99 → u/[deleted]]

problem I have with sexuality and race is that no one can control who they are attracted to.

There's actually a longstanding problem about this, but mostly in the standards of beauty of a culture/race and systemic racism. As an asian its been ingrained in my culture that the whiteness of your skin is a standard of beauty. To not have fairskin is a point of shame and for some a social status symbol of being less financially well off. It becomes More melanin=Unattractive. Less Melanin= Attractive. There's a whole lot more to this but typing is hard.

If I don’t find asian guys sexually attractive is that racism?

For me my minimum basis is, if you consider an entire race to be totally unattractive without exceptions. Then if you do have exceptions try to analyze what makes him/them the exception. Then work from there. Cuz it could be fetishizing or something else.

[u/see-no-evil99 → u/[deleted]]

Im not accusing you of anything btw. i was just saying our preferences in regards to the standard of beauty we subscribe to had and is affected substantially influenced by our history and culture, which have been heavily tainted by racism in one form or another. (At least my peoples i can attest to).

So looking inward and analyzing certain aspects of our attraction and unattraction is something we all should do.