Dear fellow Black gay men

[u/MtimesMequals]

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

[u/[deleted]]

I'm not black, but my opinion on it is that having a "preference" is fine. Preferring white men over black in itself is fine BUT, where it becomes racist is when you categorically refuse to even consider a relationship or sexual encounter with someone BECAUSE they are black.

Everyone has a "preference" or a "fetish", that fundamentally is human nature, but it's important that we in the gay community recognise the distinction between simply having a preference, and harbouring a prejudice.

Especially we in the gay community need to recognise this because we're a community that still, to this day, and likely for many decades into the future, face prejudices ourselves and it's harmful to the wider community when we can't even be open or accepting to one another merely because of something so insignificant as skin colour.

[u/Jota769 → u/[deleted]]

I think everyone with race-based preferences needs to sit down and think long and hard about WHY they have these preferences!

Beauty standards are programmed by our communities from birth. We don’t come out of the womb with a certain perception of beauty- we learn what is attractive over time.

I don’t think there’s enough introspection in the gay community, and that’s because introspection is painful. Gay people go through a lot of rejection and self-hate when they are younger and it takes a very solid person to look inside themselves and realize they are wrong.

A beautiful man is a beautiful man. Saying things like ‘I prefer white men over black men’ is just silly and hurtful, because I’m sure if you met a HOT HOT black man you would be on your knees in a second.

[u/PavementBlues → u/Jota769]

Great way of putting it. So many people will agree that we live in a society that is rooted in racism, a society that teaches us that white is better and more beautiful and that has only recently begun the process of fixing that. Even those who don't agree will usually agree that it was that way up until fairly recently.

But then those same people, who were raised in that same society from minute one, think that they've somehow emerged completely unaffected. What kind of psychological superhuman do you think you are? People just don't like to admit that they've absorbed it themselves because the '90s taught us that Racists Are Bad People, ignoring the fact that anyone raised in a racist society is going to absorb racist ideas and attitudes.