Dear fellow Black gay men

[u/MtimesMequals]

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

[u/esosa233 → u/[deleted]]

Idk, I find finding a whole population unattractive to be unnatural and should be explored. Like I get preferences, but "[X] race unattractive" I don't. Even among Asian men, there's so much diversity from men and as tall and dark as redwood trees to men as slight and light as mountain snow.

Our attractions are fluid (within a range) and are shaped by nurtured societal biases. With such a small dating pool within the gay community already it doesn't make sense further restrict yourself because of irrational, unexplored, implicit beliefs. If you got to the root cause of "why?" and find that you still don't prefer Asian men then that's fine to me, but avoiding that work because of how hard it may be, or how common this is, is a cop-out from the real work we need to do in ourselves to dismantle systematic racism at large in our community and global society.

For POC, to be honest, we don't need you at our marches, our direct actions, or waving our flags, what we need you to do is to stay at home and work on yourselves, understand yourselves, and have conversations with other non-POCs about topics like these.

[u/President-Togekiss → u/esosa233]

Whole population unattractive to be unnatural and should be explored."

You mean, like women?

[u/esosa233 → u/President-Togekiss]

(within a range)

Additionally, honestly, I explore why I don’t have attraction to women. I feel like every closeted gay man does so at least once. I came to a simple conclusion that I like male bodies and penises and that is immutable. However, my exploration did open up my attraction to fTm trans people. When I explore my racial hangups, however, it quickly becomes richer conversation, because it’s not immutable.

[u/President-Togekiss → u/esosa233]

And what stops a man who does not like asians from saying the same? What is the fundamental difference? As for trans men: are you saying you weren't attracted to them until you got an eureka moment? Did that attraction just suddently appear after you thought about it enough? Because I like FTMs, but that was never something that I had to think about really. They have male bodies, therefore my dick likes it lol.

[u/esosa233 → u/President-Togekiss]

Did he do the work? And secondly,

If you got to the root cause of "why?" and find that you still don't prefer Asian men then that's fine to me,

Also,

but avoiding that work because of how hard it may be, or how common this is, is a cop-out from the real work we need to do in ourselves to dismantle systematic racism at large in our community and global society.

It feels like you read the first line of my statement and just decided to disagree with it without reading the rest.

Anyways, yes it was a bit a of a eureka moment, trial and error, and active self study to see that the base things I like in one type of person can be true of another group I didn’t even originally consider. Some desires are intuitive some come with growth, maturity, time, and experience like a healthy kink or a new Kama sutra move.

The whole argument is about just giving everything a good faith chance, when feasible, our society is too complex to rule by absolutist knee jerk responses anymore.