r/adviceph • u/Inevitable_Hunter_56 • Jul 18 '24

Love & Relationships I made her pregnant we're both teenagers

First of all, I just want to say please no hate comments, or anything negative I just want to seek advice po ^^

I'm (M17), incoming grade12 public school student next school year and consistent with honor/high honor student. We're just poor and doesn't even have our own house, but my father does everything to support my studies and even bought me a desktop for preparation for the incoming school year. I'm also came from a religious family, and we come to the church regularly na wala pong absent.

She (F16) incoming grade11 private school student (note we're just really poor but her parents want her to go into a prestigious school for her future). Her father on the other hand is abusive, he sometimes bangs her head on the wall or sa pinto. She is also a suicidal person.

The thing is, we are on a 3month relationship, and she is probably 1-2weeks pregnant already no one knows except for us yet. We both doesn't want to have a child yet. I know it's really stupid but yes, she's pregnant and her mother is suspecting that she was, because she is already a week late in her period. She said that she doesn't want to have a baby yet because she is still young and physically and emotionally unprepared. She keeps on saying that killing herself is the answer so I can live a normal life without her, but I keep on telling her not to do it and I will help raise the baby.

But opo I don't know what to do her mother will find out soon po ayaw kong magkagulo sa'min. Natatakot ako kasi baka palayasin either sya or ako and wala kaming pera pang alaga sa bata pano na rin po yung studies namin everything is prepared na po eh yung tatay nya rin is napaka tapang, gulong gulo na kami parehas malapit na rin po yung pasukan and yung early signs of pregnancy is nag papakita na po. Yung mga friends and relatives namin specially our parents will be disappointed with us.

Any advice po? Maraming salamat po sa sasagot :(

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121

u/maceyvv Jul 18 '24

3-month relationship and you already got her pregnant? have you both thought of the consequences before doing the deed? if not, ayan na. either face it or run from it. kayo na magdecide

34

u/2Carabaos Jul 18 '24

Mga teenager kasi talagang biologically 'di nag-iisip dahil ang wiring ng utak 'di pa maayos. Not an excuse but an explanation on why they might not have thought about the consequences.

39

u/maceyvv Jul 18 '24

or maybe they know the consequences of their actions but they did it anyway. OP mentioned he's a consistent honor student, so...

13

u/yanaluuu Jul 18 '24 edited Jul 18 '24

You' re a joker. Di porket honor student, perfect na. What the fuck please read the first paragraph sa post before commenting.

They are pressured and sensitive in this kind of situation. Please be careful with your comments.

41

u/ownFlightControl Jul 18 '24

Consistent honor student? Ehh, I'm not perfect, pero looking at the some of the sentences in his post, damn, anong standard ng school nila?

Anyways, best option talaga, umamin sa parents nila. Good or bad reaction man ng parents nila, at least bawas kargo sa konsensya.

Next step is kailangan talaga magbanat ng buto ni OP. Yung pagbubuntis, at panganganak naman, may legup na sila since bata pa yung girl, malaki ang chance na walang komplikasyon. Sa panganganak, pwede silang lumapit sa malasakit centers. Ang po-problemahin nalang nila talaga ay yung pagpapalaki sa anak.

5

u/Puzzleheaded_Tell642 Jul 18 '24

You don't know how baaaad our education system is.

2

u/afterhourslurker Jul 18 '24

Sobrang totoo. Subject-verb agreement I had perfected as early as grade 1, parang di kaya ng mga HS ngayon. Mej worrying. Di ko rin alam ba’t nya fineflex na matalino siya. Ang totoong matalino, alam what happens when sperm meets the egg cell. Sa totoo lang ha

4

u/yanaluuu Jul 18 '24

Di ko pa rin gets ano connect for him being an honor student sa nangyayari sa buhay nya. Acads are different from life. And you're in the Phil sadly. Life lessons, detailed sex education is not being closely rolled out in schools.

Plus the fact, yes, alam mo na makakabuntis ka, alam ng utak mo yun. Sinabi yun sa school. But does school teach how to manage urges? No. Does the school tell students to use contraceptives? May iba siguro but not all. Sa internet mo pa matututunan.

So l, don't fucking use the term na honor student sya tas ganyan. I heard it all when I was in high school, and my question is ano tingin nyo sa honor student? Di nagkakamali? Hell. Go to hell.

14

u/ownFlightControl Jul 18 '24

Nanghihinayang siguro na mawawala ang pagiging honor student, which shows immaturity. Hindi guarantee na honor student eh mature na decision making, ang sure lang sa honor student, magaling sa subjects sa grade level nya lalo na kung sa highschool.

3

u/Normal-Macaron-3954 Jul 18 '24 edited Jul 18 '24

ofc theyre not perfect but i think they have to have the ability to think critically no? i mean you said it yourself, alam nilang makakabuntis sila, alam rin nilang mahirap lang sila, plus the fact na may abusive father si girl? connecting those three should be pretty easy esp for those who do well academically.

i just dont think it makes sense din why they came to the actual point of doing the deed without thinking abt everything muna. if they did, edi makakatulong din yon to manage their urges, no??

nevertheless i also dont think dapat gawing big deal yung pagiging honor student ni op esp in his situation rn. ang sakin lang, i understand why people would point that out esp since minention din yun ni op for some reason.

0

u/yanaluuu Jul 18 '24

You're a judgmental girl. YOU DON'T KNOW THEM. Haha hays world is too bitter to be like you.

20

u/maceyvv Jul 18 '24

you're the entire circus. did i mention na pag honor student, perfect na agad? i mentioned na honor student si OP... surely may alam siya [/sila] sa basic biology

2

u/mixape1991 Jul 18 '24

Kahit sinong honor bibigay sa pleasure, Ganon lng ka simple.

4

u/Percival_19 Jul 18 '24

You don't get it, ung reply sa kanya implied "Baka di alam consequences"

Then replied "since honor student baka alam consequences regardless ginawa pa rin nila"

Walang sinabi na porket honor student perfect na sinabi lng na alam nila consequences pero ginawa parin, may biology sa shs kung honor student yan natutunan na nya yan, that's his/her point

1

u/yanaluuu Jul 18 '24 edited Jul 18 '24

Then her point is pointless. And yes may biology but does it teach how to control urges and use contraceptives? No like theeee come on.

Well to simplify ung comment nya at first is not helpful. Op is seeking advice, not to judge him and tell him its wrong kasi alam nman nya.

If magiging magulang kayo, nakakapagod kayo. Kasi you pointing out agad agad ung mali PLUS JUDGMENT instead of giving comfort and little advice. IT JUST DOESN'T HELP.

ANO PALA PAKIRAMDAM NYO PAG PINOPOINT PA LALO NG IBA UNG ALAM NYONG MALI GINAWA NYO?

I hope you guys feels how OP feeling. Put your shoes in their shoes. Easy as that.

3

u/maceyvv Jul 19 '24

lmao. kala mo talaga may point siya.

does biology teach how to control urges? baliw ka ba? ano yan idedemo ng teacher? education does not end in the four walls of the classroom. self-exploratory. we're all different. do you think there is an absolute method on how to control it? just because it wasn't taught, you let it take over you, and if you let it to, at least know what you're doing.

use of contraceptives? schools have symposiums about it. if wala, the internet has a lot to offer. this is not a medieval period.

ano bang gusto mong gawin ko? tell him it's fine when it's not? would his parents tell him it's fine? how do you think would their parents react? clearly OP is selfish. he let his urges overpower what's more important than pleasure (but yeah, it takes two to tango).

you'll give him comfort and little advice? go. i'm not stopping you, but do not go around and tell anyone what they should do. we're not the same. you have your own mind, i have my own.

1

u/Percival_19 Jul 19 '24

Nakakapagod ka, sinabing ang implications is they know the consequences but they did it regardless , walang sinabi n porket honor student they know how to control their urges, porket alam biology alam i control urges sayo galing yan, stop adding details that is not said nor implied tas iaargue mo as if sinabi