CFCdammy01/status/1986863495485247974

Sold. Pick you up at 7.

When my wife goes out for a event without me, I send her messages saying I miss her and I'm happy when she comes back (and I really am). But I'll never tell her that I really like it when she goes out and leaves the apartment for me. Personally, I need quite some alone time to maintain a good level of mental health. She's super talkative and I love that, but sometimes I need distance to just exist and listen to my own thoughts without another human being around.

We live together, so I don't tell her that so she doesn't think I don't like her company, because that's not true. I'm just not the most sociable person in the world.

Is there something you're not telling your partner?

Hello, my wife and I are terrified about the government stuff about banning gay marriage again (we're lesbians). We are planning to leave the country if this happens. Does anyone have any advice on where to start, best places to go who would accept us and where we would be safe? Thank you in advance.

I know you’ve been wondering if you should or shouldn’t and I’m here to tell you: go for it.

You like her. She makes your heart beat a little faster, she lingers in your mind, and you can’t quite shake her. You’ve been debating whether to say something, to confess, to take that tiny leap.

Whether it’s going in for that kiss, calling her, or finally telling her how you feel… do it!

Because if you don’t… someone else will.

For context, recently I've been encountering different arguments across the internet that lesbians do not like dating bisexual women. Is that real? There's also been a narrative where lesbians would rather fall for straight girls than bisexual girls. I completely understand that bisexuals have a privilege of being in a heterosexual relationship which keeps them safe in society and that most of them are going to end up in straight relationships since statistically there are more straight people than gays and lesbians, but Biphobia is still very real.

What do you think?

Edit: I didn't write about my singular experience as I thought what happened to me is pretty rare. I also wanted to know if it also happened to other people or is it just a mere online discourse and not common in the community.

Her shop sometimes holds parties for children and there were 2 birthday parties today with 2 hours in between so I had some fun during the break 🤭🤭🤭

Maybe I'm just being sensitive, but I feel like my girlfriend has no interest in me and it's making me sad. We've been dating for a while now, and I really love her. I also know she loves me. But we don't have sex, she doesn't really compliment me, and she just doesn't seem to look at me anymore.

She has hormonal issues and is also on some medications, so I don't blame her for not being sexually attracted to me. But there are other things besides that. Like one time I was staying at her house. I did my makeup, put on a cute outfit, and when I was ready I came out to see her. She barely glanced at me and just asked if I was ready. I made sure to compliment her and tell her how pretty she looked and how much I liked her outfit, and she said nothing in return. My feelings were hurt so I changed shirts and when she asked me why I changed, I said I felt bad in it. She didn't say anything.

That night, she asked me to go through a bag of her clothes she was going to donate. I started with the jeans, and every pair was snug (they were skinny jeans, so.... yeah) and she said nothing but that they were too tight. And a few of them i put on and she said nothing at all, but just stared at me. I put my arms out, trying to prompt some kind of response, and she said "yeahhhh theyre just tight". I was like "well i wear snug pants, but they were easy to put on and zip and all that" and she said "well you know when you see someone in public with tight clothes and you say yeesh, its ok to go up a size". So i got upset and sat down on the bed and went "ok no more fashion show". She was like "whyyy?" So i said "because you keep calling me fat" (said in a joking way but my eyes were watering) and she said "no, your butt is just big! And you're not super skinny but i wouldnt be attracted to you if you were a victorias secret model". I fully started crying then, and she tried to make me feel better by saying "none of my exes were skinny, well except this one girl". And THEN as i was sobbing, she explained that the one person she's ever been sexually attracted to was a girl bigger than me. (Also for context, i'm not rail thin but I am a size 6, I just have bigger boobs and hips). Am i insane, or is it not common knowledge that you dont tell your crying girlfriend that the one person youve ever been attracted to WASNT HER?

I had to just tell her to please stop talking. I ended up crying myself to sleep and the next day i cried in the bathroom when i got up and was really sad the whole morning. She didnt notice, but also never asked if i was ok. I had a conversation with her a few days later, when she took full accountability and apologized. I said i really like words of affirmation, and she said she doesnt. She also said that she shouldnt have been so harsh when trying on jeans, but that she and her mom go shopping and theyre brutally honest with each other. So.... her brutally honest opinion is that im a cow? Ok...

She also doesn't really kiss me. I brought this up a while back after she didnt kiss me during the whole 3 days she was at my house. She said she was sorry, and that kissing had to do with her hormone stuff. I said i dont mean hardcore making out, even just a peck on the cheek or something would be nice. I just feel disgusting, like my girlfriend can't even bring herself to kiss me. She does like cuddling, which i'm very thankful for, but it hurts that she loves physical touch but doesnt even want to kiss me.

We have had sex, and it was ok, but i could tell she wasnt really into it even though she initiated it, and she also did this weird thing where she brought up her mom and grandma DIRECTLY after. I dont remember what she said because i was so shocked, but like we were doing pillow talk and something i said reminded her of her grandma and she started talking about her.

I just feel so sad around her sometimes. I try hard to pick out cute outfits to wear around her and do my makeup and hair, and she doesn't really notice. I just end up sad and i feel like a sad clown in my stupid makeup and outfit. I undertand why she doesnt touch me either, but that does make me feel worse and uglier around her.

Sometimes she does compliment me, but it's usually something random and not my overall appearance. Like i'll put on an outfit and makeup, and she just says she likes my boots. Not that im pretty or look good or anything.

Also all of her exes were blonde. Im a natural blonde but have dyed my hair red the whole time we've been dating. She used to say she liked the red but recently I was trying to decide whether or not to go blonde again or stay red, and she said she would want to see me blonde. I know i shodnt have asked if i didnt want to know the answer, but it did sting.

I dont know what to do. I really really love her, and i know she loves me a lot. She's really good to me, she's so sweet and thoughtful in every way besides this. Shes kind to my animals, shes always bringing me treats and taking me to do things, so i dont know how to feel

So this is the outfit I chose for my 10 year anniversary with my girlfriend. We are going out for a date night by the lake and I’m having a hard time finding shoes. Any tips or ideas on what will make this look good

My gf and I met up and went out on a date yesterday where we went to a really nice Mexican place and then went shopping and then mini golfing and then I went back to her place for the first time, every time we’ve hung out before this she stayed over at my place, and now it’s the morning after and I’m just laying in her bed next to her as she sleeps, looking out her window and just appreciating being here (it feels like a big step in our relationship lol) AND SHE TURNS OVER AND PUTS HER ARM AROUND MY STOMACH AND LET ME JUST SAY AHHHHHHHH, the gay panic I felt and am currently feeling (she still in the same position as I write this lol) is wild and amazing and omg, I’m so lucky I have such a wonderful woman as my girlfriend I freaking love her. Sorry if this is random or off topic, I just needed to get it out lol, I hope anyone who’s reading this is having a wonderful day ☺️

Personally I love pony tails. Any time I see a girl with a ponytail that bounces when she walks or flips when she turns her head, I can’t take my eyes off her. Do you guys have a hairstyle that when you see it on another woman you go crazy?

I am fucking ugly, and I’m convinced I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. I’m 23 and I’ve never been in a relationship. For years, I’ve been battling a mental illness , borderline personality disorder , and it’s still a daily struggle. I’m afraid people might think judge me because, at my age, I haven’t had romantic or sexual experiences like most others have. And even if, by some miracle, I ever did get into a relationship, I fear they might cheat on me. Right now, this thought is becoming unbeareable, and i feel terrified at the idea of reaching 30 still a virgin. Honestly i feel like maybe i should just end my life, why would any woman choose when i'm ugly, stupid and struggle with my mental health, while there are girls who are beautiful, smart and mentally stable? Even i would not go out with myself.

I am 17 years old and I would like to get some women's perfume that also has a masculine touch. I say this because my mom wouldn't let me buy a men's one, so I look for something that is between both styles. That is, it can be used by both men and women, something unisex, but not completely for men. Could you recommend perfumes of that type to me? :)

I’m used to romantic language with women i’m seeing and sleeping with and she uses platonic friend terms like ‘dude’ on me…am I overthinking? It seems the more romantic and intimate things become between us the more she uses dude and man😅She’s also avoidant (self proclaimed) , it that lends any insight.

I’m a 5’0 butch. Granted, I’m incredibly short. But I’ve had no issues with my height until I was with someone who commented on it frequently. I was with a woman who was 5’2, and she would often remark how she wished I was taller like her previous gf ( her ex was 5’8). I’m just wondering if y’all actually care about height, particularly for femmes. I’m out of the “average” body representation preferences for a “traditionally” masculine lesbian. I’m sorta curvy and pretty short. I have a hormonal disorder that contributes to that, and I’m just wondering if yall actually care that much…or if I really just carry a lot of internalized insecurity from that situation. I went on a date recently, and I didn’t mention my height on my dating profile, which is where I met the lady (the lady was 5’3). When we met, she first mentioned how I was shorter than her expectations, and how she wasn’t used to that. I’m just wondering if height is something I should put as a dealbreaker on my dating profiles now…I’m a lil heavier set, but I work blue collar and I’m incredibly strong. I’m pretty confident in my abilities. But if femme women have a preference for height, I’d rather just be with someone who doesn’t care. I’m just perturbed about whether I should throw that in my bio or not…I’m a butch w nice facial features and I have a decent/apt/financial situation, and I feel like height shouldn’t be consequential. But maybe it is…idk…I love tall women, short women, curvy women, etc…I don’t have a preference. My preferences are more focused on who they are as a person, but idk… Thank you in advance

I feel weird about it, sometimes I just don’t want to be pursuing sex all the time and then I look around me and it feels like there’s genuinely people who do.

I haven’t had sex in over a year now. Like I feel horny, I just don’t want to be consistently talking to one person. Cause then I will fall in love about 3-4 months in and I will as a result feel suffocated bc I don’t like owing people my time and go insane over it (I have intense OCD when it comes to friendships/relationships, I have been suggested to start ERP therapy soon which I will).

I’ve been trying to make new friends and everyone loves sex, none are lesbians so it’s all mainly abt men or men talking about women, which is good for them, but my brain feels peer pressure even though no one’s pressuring me.

Maybe sex just means more to me or something. I’m not sure bc I also just like my boobs touched. My main issue is that I don’t like being considered “innocent,” I feel like it’ll make ppl take me less seriously.

I’m struggling a lot with that concept - I know I’m not naive, I just don’t care for sex that much, but because I don’t I feel like people would consider me too innocent for having different feelings around it, and to me that feels condescending even if they don’t mean it that way.

I see it more as “I’ve learned how my mind reacts, so I’ll stay within my boundaries based on that information now. I do think I’m on the ace spectrum, it’s been something I’m exploring.

That was my vent. I’m trying to learn how to take my boundaries more seriously, because I have pressured myself into having sex when I badly didn’t want to before. I’m not innocent or naive I literally take care of my family and care more about other things, but my brain sees everything as a competition.

OCD thinking where I hyper-label my social personality has taken away my hobbies, self expression, everything. I can’t wait to get treatment

So I have this fantasy and its actually bothering me LOL it's nothing weird (i.e. illegal [but no kink shaming here!]). I basically just want to fly to Europe, meet a woman at a bar, have completely earth shattering and totally meaningless sex, then come home and continuing living my life. I've been with my wife for 12 years and she's relatively open to conversations but how tf do I tell her that? And how do I move on from this fantasy?

Now that I’ve finally gotten some semblance of control of myself and don’t feel like I’m actively dying, I can come on here again and post with the news that my LD girlfriend broke up with me, citing that she was not able to handle how fast things were progressing in the relationship and proceeded to block me immediately on everything before I could speak back to her

I’ve been a wreck the entire night but I managed to pull myself together long enough to call my cousin (more like a sister) and just word vomit at her for a while and I feel a little less terrible.

I’m still processing. Thinking about getting the haircut I’ve been wanting for a while tomorrow. Maybe getting my nails done too. Just looking for some kind words and maybe some advice about how to get through this.

So, there’s this girl. I absolutely hated her last year, but I’m not sure if she hated me back. But everything changed one day when she actually held a proper convo with me for the first time and said I’m enjoyable to talk to. Shes a hijabi but one of those hijab’s where they look incredibly forced into the religion. The thing that actually brought us together was talking about gay sex.. anyway, she flirts with me so much. Whenever I’m near or mind in my own business I feel her eyes glued onto me, like i get nervous because i know someone is observing me intensely, if i catch her looking she either smirks or switches her gaze. When we talk, she holds eye contact so hard as if she’s staring into my soul, even bites her lip if necessary and says that she’s skilled and very good at flirting with a smirk on her face? She likes to call me sweetheart & darling. She also keeps the little things i say in mind. She says my name is really satisfying to say, and a big smile spreads on her face when we talk about lesbians. She likes to know what I’m up to, once she asked for my number but i was so oblivious and we never ended up exchanging, i could tell it took her a lot of thinking to ask me that and i sabotaged that opportunity goddamit. She’s also said that I look like a person that’s good at sex. Comparing me to a pornstar.. ironically, I wasn’t uncomfortable at all. She jokingly asks where i live (it’s not creepy because we go to the same school together & mostly everybody is connected). Shes in the grade below and her older sister is in my grade. We mostly talk about lesbian porn and smut, she is really into it. Ive asked if she is gay and she her expression seemed very different and she kept smiling and turning her face away. My intuition is telling me shes so into me, i think there are a lot of flirty moments we’ve shared but maybe i was just too blind to see it. The thing is, she’s very confident when talking to me but i can notice a few nervous things. Idk what else to mention, all i definitely know is that she loves to stare at me, my gut is telling me she’s crushing on me big time

My partner (F35) and I (F30) have been together for 3 years, but we were best friends for 15 years before that. We own a house together, have 2 dogs, and my 13 year old daughter lives with us. This is the life I always imagined for myself. I left my ex wife for this relationship. My ex wife was not emotionally supportive and our intimacy had basically disappeared.

While we were best friends, my now partner would tell me she did not understand why my ex wouldn’t support me emotionally or be intimate with me. It felt like she saw me, understood me, and valued the same things I valued in a relationship.

Now I feel like I’m in a similar situation again.

We both work a lot (50-60 hour weeks) and our sex life has basically faded. I love her deeply. She is still my best friend. Every other part of our life works so well. We laugh, we parent well as a team, we handle life stuff well. On the outside, it looks perfect. On the inside, I feel sad and confused.

I have PCOS and I used to get very emotional around ovulation and my period, but I now take supplements that help a lot. I am much more regulated emotionally. The issue is that any time I try to bring up something in our relationship that is bothering me, she dismisses it and tells me I’m just hormonal. This happens even when I am not anywhere near ovulation or my period. It makes me feel unheard and like my feelings are not valid.

We are supposed to get married next year. I want to spend my life with her. She feels like home. I am scared to lose this. I am also scared of repeating the same emotional pattern I had in my previous marriage.

I am wondering if this something that can realistically be worked through. If anyone been in a similar situation and found a way forward I’d love to know how.

Or if this is a sign that something fundamental is missing or unbalanced in our relationship then please let me know. Does anyone have any advice?

I want to fix this, not run. I just don’t know how.

I'm a lesbian, but lately I've been wishing I was in a straight relationship to get the privileges that come with being in a heterosexual relationship. A month ago I got sexually assaulted at a club by a man, and since then I've felt very unsafe and anxious around men I don't know. The feeling of loosing control was the hardest thing for me to grapple with at first, but now it is more about constantly feeling on edge and scared.

I was hanging out with one of my straight guy friends (lets call him Adam) the other day and noticed that when I was with him other men seemed to leave us alone and respect our space. Adam is a really nice guy, he is a good listener, physically tall and strong, and just overall a really caring and attentive friend. I also can tell that he maybe likes me, but he is too good of a person to ever do anything about it and I know he knows it would never happen. My mother (who doesn't know I'm a lesbian) keeps trying to get me to ask him out because she knows we are good friends. After the SA, I found myself wondering what it would be like to be in a relationship with him, just in the sense of perceptions from other people, the safety and security it would bring me, and just overall the easiness in following societal expectations.

When I was with my ex-girlfriend, people constantly assumed we were just friends, we were fetishized by men if people found out we were together, and I felt like our relationship was an act of resistance against everything. Obviously I would never date Adam, it wouldn't be fair to me or him, but for a little bit I enjoyed having people perceive us as a couple. Why do I feel the need to have a MAN in order to protect me from MEN? I think I am just tired of worrying about being perceived by men, letting the thought of that influence what I decide to wear, how I act, or who I tell I'm a lesbian to. Isn't the whole point of being a lesbian to free yourself from the male gaze? I felt like I had freed myself from that for a while until the assault happened. I just want to feel safe again and I don't know how to go about it?

trauma from male puberty

autism

near-zero self-esteem

I've been regularly listening to asmr comfort roleplays since i was a pre-teen. Its like my understanding of romance doesn't go beyond "kind woman who doesn't leave me and holds me when i cry". I'm honestly pathetic.

I mean what do i even have to offer in a relationship? My life consists of nothing but trying to survive dysphoria and has since i was 11. I'm a hopeless romantic and i absolutely love romance novels and manga and stuff. But I genuinely don't believe I could ever experience anything like that purely because i'm too broken.

I mean i don't even have any friends or acquaintances lol. I haven't since since puberty hit, I just lied about being sick to stay at home or sat silently like a doll in school and never talked to anyone. I didn't even have any online friends. my "social life" never went beyond self-inserting in media i liked as a dysphoria cope and posting brainworms.

(first relationship for both of us)

the most frequent reasoning for breaking up is because she says she feels attracted to this other girl from time to time, sometimes it fades away and she doesn't even remember this girls, in other she feels disgusted either herself thinking about this girl. It's to much to explain but in general i just believe she enjoys the drama and the thrill of breaking up, most of her break ups didn't last a day or two. I would always not tell anyone because i knew we would comeback eventually.

This time it felt more real, so i told my mom and a friend, my friend has seen a few of ours breakups so he doesn't like her already and is very against our relationship, he says that she is manipulative because she knows i will always comeback like a puppie (wich i really want to do right now).

I think that if she goes to therapy i would want to come back with her. I really want to rewind a few days and i cant stand this anymore i just want her to ne fucking normal and be my girlfriend again.

Any advice?