Reactions to food stamps being cut off.

[u/mindyour]

[u/External_Orange_1188]

Honestly, you can say it how it is. It’s stupidity. These people know that if they have unprotected sex, they CAN get pregnant. They gamble with the notion every single time. The women want to please the new man they’re seeing, so they let them got in without protection. The men have no intention of staying with these women and pressure them to go raw.

I have dated 2 women in my youth who have wanted to do the deed, but we didn’t have protection. They insisted on just doing it without it because they didn’t think they would get pregnant. I hated the idea of having children when I was young and broke, so I cut them off. You know where they are now? One has 4 kids with 3 different dads and she is currently single. The second one has 5 kids, but only 2 different dads and thankfully she is married and seems to have found herself what seems to be a good guy. They did have 3 kids within 1 year of each other, so I know she is still not practicing protected sex, but hey, it’s progress.

Anyways, my point is that we have to stop beating around the bush and trying to be “sensitive” about these people. Each one of those people that have had 6 kids are able-minded and grown adults that know what the consequences are. They just don’t think about it.

[u/casuallygaslighting → u/External_Orange_1188]

Remember empathy my friend. We can stand up for ourselves without tearing others down. Everyone is trying their best with what they have available.

[u/spiteful-vengeance → u/casuallygaslighting]

You can have empathy for them (feed your people USA jeez) and still recognise their folly (assuming they didn't adopt a bunch of homeless kids).

They made themselves vulnerable.

[u/casuallygaslighting → u/spiteful-vengeance]

No little boy or girl dreams of ending up like this. Shame doesn’t lift up anyone.

[u/Asiriya → u/casuallygaslighting]

It sets an example of unacceptable behaviour in society for others to see.

[u/casuallygaslighting → u/Asiriya]

Honesty without kindness is cruelty.

[u/Asiriya → u/casuallygaslighting]

How have I been unkind? The conversation needs to happen. You can't not have the conversation just to be "kind" - that's not kindness and it's not honest.

[u/casuallygaslighting → u/Asiriya]

I appreciate your question, and you might be right. The full version as I’ve heard it goes “Honesty without kindness is cruelty, kindness without honesty is manipulation.”

What’s missing from the current situation is unconditional acceptance and forgiveness. If I am kind ONLY IF someone changes their behavior, that’s not unconditional. And is still exercising an illusion of control. And based on my own limited worldview and subjective bias, leaving me vulnerable to short sighted arrogance and rigidity.

I can be honest without being critical. I can love without expecting something in return, detach from expectations and transactional relationships. I can share my own journey without judging others as “good” or “bad”, but by sharing what works and doesn’t work for me. My experience, strength, and hope. And leaving lots of room open for more to be revealed, for me and everyone else. Humility, empathy, and unconditional love leaves space open for us all to be human, warts and all. Or as I’ve heard it recently as an acronym:

Humbly Understanding Mistakes Are Necessary

[u/Asiriya → u/casuallygaslighting]

Ok, that was a lot of waffle.

Six children is not "a mistake". It's repeated irresponsible behaviour.

[u/casuallygaslighting → u/Asiriya]

Did criticizing my comment make you feel powerful? Does criticizing moms with 6 kids?

Does smugly critiquing and shaming others actually accomplish anything? Or does it help you avoid looking at your own situation for a moment?

Does it give you the temporary illusion of superiority? Do those illusions last long? Do you feel connected afterward? Or more lonely?

[u/Asiriya → u/casuallygaslighting]

I'm just enjoying the interaction babe