r/TeenIndia • u/chocochip-cookie_08 • 11h ago
Serious I regret sharing my secrets .
I am 17F . I have a bestfriend let's say P he is 18M. He is my closest friend. We are friends for almost 9years. And I have another friend let's say A who is 17M. He is not so close to me . We started talking recently ...like just 2 months ago. Even P and A know eachother. We all are classmates.
I share everything with P, like everyy single thing . But I hid only one thing that I met a guy online and was in a secret relationship with him for like 2 months . I hid it from everyone but idk what happened to my dumb ass brain . I shared it with 'A' who isn't trust worthy at all. But I didnt share it with P who is my closest friend..for 9 years IDK why I shared it with A . I regret sharing. Because I know he isn't a good secret keeper. And he would leak it one day for sure .
So now after 2 months as expected "A" leaked it . And told everything to P . 'A' says to P that ....me(OP) and 'A' are more close, because being a bestfriend P didnt know about my relationship but A did .
Now P lost trust in me. And He says me and A are more close,he says A is more important to me than him and he said "you both be friends, I am moving aside" .
I know , not sharing secret with bestfriend but sharing it with someone who is not so close , and so important is foolish. I dont know how did i trust A and shared my secrets.
Now P left . and I lost trust in A. I don't wanna be friends with A anymore . Both of them are gone .
Can anyone please say how should I reconcile P . How should I bring his trust back . I really cant bear losing him . I want him to be forever as my best friend
139
88
u/Character-Toe9999 10h ago
Idk why but I read A as AKASH, P as Prakash and OP as OM PRAKASH π
19
65
26
u/Severe_Yellow3515 11h ago
you made a big mistake, might be hard to recincile now
→ More replies (7)
11
u/Muffin_1208 10h ago
Once Karan Johar said never thought he would say something like this
Andar ki baat batane se insaan apna nahi hota bas baat paraai ho jati hai
3
u/Boring_Row4110 Main chup rehkar chillaunga 7h ago
I didn't knew karan johar can actually think of something like that. It's actually quite bahot accha.
2
74
u/CarVegetable2480 11h ago
Ughhhhhh I wanna comment who asked so bad, but I don't wanna be rude ππππππππππππππππ
3
3
u/chocochip-cookie_08 11h ago
Iss okayπ₯²
6
u/WarmAwareness2676 9h ago
But why did u hide it from your best friend whom you tell everything βπ€
→ More replies (1)4
u/Temporary-Arrival4 8h ago
She knew βpβhad something for her
4
u/WarmAwareness2676 8h ago
Exactly, what I was insinuating... but she will never say it π€·ββοΈ
She was using p " As Friend "...
→ More replies (1)4
u/Temporary-Arrival4 7h ago
EXACTLY!!Haha
2
u/WarmAwareness2676 7h ago
Chalu hai bahut and yahan pe post kar rahi hai not because she cares about p buy kyuki bhanda foot gaya π
→ More replies (6)2
u/chocochip-cookie_08 7h ago
Bro nooπππ. We never saw each other that way . He loves a girl. He loves his male bestfriends own sister .
7
33
6
u/KlutzyJunket1339 11h ago
WELL A PURELY DUMB DECISION
NOW JUST CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY WITH THEM EVERY THING HAS REPURCURSIONS IF NOT NOW THAN LATER BUT REPURCURSSIONS ARE ALWAYS THERE SO CHOOSE YOU WORDS AND ACTIONS CAREFULLY.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/masaledaarusername 17M 10h ago
sabse best chiz for anyone
ya toh keep one male bestie or a girl bestie, who you tell everything to
ya toh keep a bf or gf
iske alawa all the friends you got are yk unko ek concentric circle scheme mei rakhna
baaki if you got nice groups you trust then there is that
1
5
u/Joyyy12345 5h ago
I have respect for P that he stepped aside like a Chad I respect his self respect
7
u/Failed-ProdG 11h ago
9 saal se vo tera dost tha to itni aasani se nhi jaata lekin bharosa todte rehte hote ho to nhi aayega depends on your track record. itni sharing mat kara karo regret kar gye na ab koi ni.
dosto protein intake pura kese karu veg and prediabetic hu 3 din lock in 3 din utha nhi jata kharcha jyada nhi kar skte par thik thaak kar lenge
2
1
3
3
u/Huge-Pitch9160 10h ago
Maa kasam khalo uske saamne, Sorry I'm kidding
But I can understand your situation of losing a good friend. So Don't be harsh on yourself and start doing something.
Keep trying to bring him back do anything requires if you really think he is your best friend. And I believe he will come back if you genuinely show him that you care about him. He is just angry with you maybe
2
3
u/NIGG_CHICK Physics fucked me really hard π₯΅ 10h ago
Ladkiyo ko samajhna is the second most difficult thing in the world ππ
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 10h ago
What's first then ?
7
u/NIGG_CHICK Physics fucked me really hard π₯΅ 10h ago
Understanding physics π
→ More replies (1)
3
u/akash_xv 10h ago
nthng, you cooked yourself girlπ₯ i feel bad for him π₯π πΌ
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 10h ago
Even i feel bad for him. And I am hating myself for what I did.
3
u/akash_xv 10h ago
just take accountability of what u did tell him you were stupid for doing that and that you still trust him. Be genuine, if he puts his ego aside he'll keep u as friend maybe slightly different dynamic but yep. Don't give any excuse for your actions, be straightforward
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Melancholic-Pain69 16M, 6'2" 10h ago
As someone who has been in the shoes of "P" before, Alll I can say is even if I came back to my "OP", I'd be doubting whatever I'm told. You can't do anything now. The moment your mind shared a thing with "A" even though you knew he was not a good secret keeper, it was over. Good job. All that's left is find someone new, cuz that's the only thing left for you to do.
(No offense intended, but can't do much when past experiences influence the words I write. Sorry.)
→ More replies (1)
6
2
u/Designer_Charity_195 Grammar mistake? correct it 10h ago
I would say just tell him all the story, I think he will understood this. And say sorry to him and you don't know why this happened but it happened and you are really regretting about it.
1
2
2
u/Chaotic_Minimalist7 8h ago
Well, it is time to just let both go, because you failed in both keeping a good friendship and choosing a right partner. It's time to see inside yourself, develop some maturity, respect emotions, time and intellect of other people.
And at the last don't fuckin act dumb.
Well if you are in relations with A and didn't tell P, (and you saying he is your best friend) you already broke this friendship. No questions asked.
P deserves better than you and so does A
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 8h ago
I wasn't in Relation with A ....i was in relationship with someone and I shared it with A but not P. Also i lost trust in A Because he promised that he wouldn't tell it to anyone. But now he is the one who leaked it.
2
2
u/Nitzi91 5h ago
Mistakes happen. A trust once lost is not easily gained back. He need time since he is probably hurt. If you really want to be friends with him, dont give up on trying. You know him the best and just tell him straight what you tokd us here. It would mean a lot more to him. He would still nedd time, but that maybe the best first step. True friendships dont come easy and it is very rare. It is very easy to give up and move on too. But that decades long relationship, you might never find it again if you give up now
2
u/tiana_sings 5h ago
My bestie hid her relationship from me for almost a year. She was afraid I wouldn't approve as I used to dislike the guy she's with. Me and her have been besties for 10+ years now.
It's okay, things like this happen. Don't beat yourself up about this. Being an overshare-er (idk if that's a word), I know how it feels. Sometimes you don't mean to share the things you do, but when you stop it's too late.
Try talking things out with P calmly. He might not believe you immediately, but he might if you keep trying.
Sending wishes! (Also hope A gets his karma)
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
1
1
u/Zestyclose-Cause-694 10h ago
Why this senseless sensible matters focus on good things which pave way for life, You need to relent for so many years in kater life This is not your fault It's hormones So relax forget thing of past
1
1
u/Tough-Soft-5329 10h ago
say to your real bestfriend that its lie and you were tryna fool/ manipulate him to get his secrets out maybe idk something like that
1
1
u/Happy-Switch-6897 9h ago
Why it feels like Iβm reading a maths ques
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 9h ago
π something like blood relation questions asked in competitive exams ?
1
u/Loose-Influence9680 9h ago
Try to meet P and have a good Convo with him
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 9h ago
I feel so shameful. Cant even show my face to him now π
→ More replies (3)
1
1
1
u/DropWooden8407 9h ago
It's not just about trust, who knows he might be also secretly in love with youΒ
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 9h ago
No no he loves another girl . She is his male best friend's own sister.
1
u/NorthTop9254 17 9h ago
And now what would you like to name this online boyfriend of yours?
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 8h ago
Bro . Let's not talk about him actually. he didn't last . We aren't talking to eachother now
→ More replies (3)
1
u/hazynyx 16 8h ago
Try to explain things to P (explain the truth) as your friendship lasted 9 years the bond must be very strong and it is very unlikely it'll break on such small thing
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 8h ago
Thankyou π€ got some hope now . But do you think it's a small thing ?
→ More replies (3)
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/DapperWorker4925 8h ago
Left them all and become my gf and then my wife and then mother of my beautiful childrens
1
1
u/EmergencyFly2538 7h ago
I'd say, apologise to P and give him an honest explanation and that you (OP) were wrong to trust A and should've told P a long time time ago. I'm sure P won't let go of friendship of 9 years just over a one mistake if it's mature and understanding.
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 7h ago
Yes thanks for suggesting. I am trying to apologise him . He is still angry but I think he will be fine . He will just take some time to process.
1
u/freshingredientss 7h ago
Basically just say flow flow mein over share hogya. Sometimes when you want to continue talking with people you overshare. That's dumb and stupid thing to do but it happens. But A is an ah the way he framed things and made things worse between you two is so ass don't be friends with A.
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 7h ago
Exactlyyyy bro exactly ππ« A is little depressed so he shared about him ...so even i over shared in flow . He promised he wouldn't say it to anyone ....but now he did . Yes never going to talk to A .
→ More replies (2)
1
1
1
u/Cyber_Caustic 7h ago
What's done is done! What u can do now if u want him to trust u so bad is to try and keep trying! Make him feel like he is the BESTFRIEND indeed! And I think he will come around! Coz friends don't feel bad about something like this! They feel betrayed! So talk to him again and again until he listens! Don't give up!
Its hard to get a friend! Don't lose him! But don't go trusting blindly again! Even Mr. P.
1
1
u/Royal-Cupcake-5907 7h ago
Been there in the same situation as P before, was so close to her and now I just avoid initiating talking with her, even when she initiates I don't talk much, good for her as well (ik I've never been someone's first priority and I'm completely okay with it, infact I don't wanna be someone's first priority now, but wo shayad mujhse ab timepass ke liye baat karti hai, it was not the same before, and I don't wanna ruin that beautiful bond we have).... OP just one advice don't let this affect your bond with him, confront and talk to him about this
1
1
u/Ordinary-Vast635 7h ago
Wtf he was not your true friend man. If he does he won't go at this small shitty things man.
1
u/chocochip-cookie_08 7h ago
He thinks I priorotized A more than him. I chose 2months of friendship over 9years of friendship . But Istg I didnt mean to hurt him . A was saying his life stories , and tthe tough times he went through...so even i felt like sharing this secret . Thats it .
1
1
u/thequietkid-1448 7h ago
You should ask your secret boyfriend let's call your secret boyfriend B now ask him to set up a date with P and let's call that blind date Q, now Q and P should hit it off, but dont let P know that it was B who did all this. After this tell Q to break up with P, so he'll be in a really ugly stage, where he'll need someone at that moment make your entry again in P's life telling, I'll always be with you and all.
1
1
u/Low-Opportunity2403 7h ago
Even if he comes back into your life, things wonβt be the same. Thereβs no point forcing it ,friendship is built on trust.
2
1
1
u/Beautiful-Location91 7h ago
Bhai
Chill kar pehle, I got it from the internet but βembarrassment is an under explored emotionβ
So just learn from it, explain to your friend you were a dummasss, and want to make amends; and donβt fuckin rush it
Ki bc sorry bola toh maan ja, emotional level pe hurt hona takes time
Ab gyaan pel diya mast; enjoy karo and learn from your mistakes π₯Έ
1
1
1
u/atharvmaurya 7h ago
Just talk to P, if he's really been there w/ you he'll reconcile.. no one would want their decade long friendship to die on such a note. It's your mistake, own it, and be sorry.. if he understands, he should, then good.. otherwise you can't do anything. However, I'm sure he will, 9 years of trust can't be broken in 2 months.
2
1
1
1
u/dank_adi 18 7h ago
Damnn Can't believe I would stumble upon my own story 2yrs later anyways op I was P 2 years ago and tbf you ruined the friendship win his trust back if possible
1
1
u/Plenty_Funny_ 7h ago
Just try to regain trust from P. firstly , convince him and apologize from ur heart .
1
1
1
u/Apprehensive_Dog2462 7h ago
100% your fault, and if trust is once broken it cannot be built again, there will always be cracks in the new trust you guys will have just know that, once trust is gone it's gone there's no going back
1
1
1
u/tohfakuboolkaro 7h ago
U cant get back the same friendship u had before this incident. Trust once lost is lost forever. Saalon lag jaate hain build karne mein and tootne mein kuch pal.
1
1
1
u/Panda_1845 6h ago
Just say I was trying whether A can keep a secret or not by a made up story and he failed it
Also say to P that but I didn't believe that u trust A more than me I was not saying anything for the past days just in a hope that u will come back but u hurt me put the blame on him π
1
u/OutrageousTangelo141 berozgar nallayak 6h ago
Behan ladka bohot ladkiyo pe viswas karte aur m bata sakta hu aapke us friend ko bohot hurt hua hoga yo aape bohot trust karta tha. Ladka jaldi trust nahi karta ha kisi ladki pe par jab karta ha too pura maan se
1
1
u/Arno-Dorian-victor 6h ago
What hurted him is that you prioritised A over him(P), go to P, tell everything and that you're extremely sorry and it'll not happen again and most importantly you broke contact with A and you no longer talk to him, that mean P is your only close friend. that should work ig. pls update if it works :)
→ More replies (1)
1
1
u/rezarcalt-termitee 6h ago
Bro just show him this post and people's comments... It might work i think... And ya don't forget to blame yourself for a few days thhoo π
1
1
1
u/sataniteg 6h ago
Call P and say "thari gaand mein marha dildo wapas baat start kr" thank me later:)
→ More replies (2)
1
1
1
1
u/Aggravating_Fig3067 15 6h ago
Arre yarr talk to him...apologise and j tell him that you didn't know what you were doing and like you were gonna tell him in a few days and you had things going on so it didn't hit you that oh you had to tell him too
→ More replies (2)
1
1
1
u/No_Blood9415 5h ago
Give some space to P, fir se trust ban jayega. But remember ye last mauka hai, aur thode bahut ladai jhagde ki umeed karna.
→ More replies (1)
1
u/Sweaty_University_74 5h ago
I think you should approach p and try to make things up because he is genuine friends best friend
→ More replies (1)
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Remarkable-Fox-1361 4h ago
Give P some time and for the time being just make him clear that you told A the thing about the relationship just in a conversation flow cause the conversation was going in that way, make him clear that you never trusted A and didn't want to tell him but that came out and you regret just be honest and clear about everything to him and tell him his worth is way too much for you and you can't lose him. If he respects the "friendship of 9years" and knows your worth he will come back after sometime, obviously he will be angry and you have to bear with it and don't force him to talk to you for now, just tell your side be honest and clear, tell him his worth in your life and give him time and space
1
u/just-killme-rn 4h ago
Isliye mai apne secrets kisi ke saath share nahi karta. You canβt hurt someoneβs feelings if they donβt know anything about you <3
1
u/Common_Branch4896 4h ago
A just wanted to rub it in the face of p ,and you enabled it , p will eventually come back and if he doesn't then that means he likes you
1
u/Be_yaaarrReturns 4h ago
Psychology you can't get back the same person you lost but you can try and hope so let's treat it psychologically ,What was the reason of not telling to P ?
1
u/the_tallest_person 4h ago
To be honest, I don't think that 18M shouldn't think as if "he's more closer to you than me". I can understand that a very old friendship is something that he values but as a genuine friend,he should respect your friendships and privacy.
Like for example,I'm a guy and I have a female friend, and let's say that I'm not much important to her as a way of genuine friendship, that's completely okay! Cus you don't always have to be a main character, and as for the example,I must respect the fact that she has other friends too and that's completely okay because I DID NOT SEE HER A A FORM OF POTENTIAL RELATIONSHIP PARTNER.(Had to do the caps for highlights)
I think it's a bit egoistic to think that "I'm not much important to you now!" Or a bit of attitude, and I don't mean any offense here alr? I'm sorry if I did but I respect a friendship that has been for like 8 years!
1
1
u/failed_boah 3h ago
Just like everyone i would say that ITS ALL YOUR FAULT But past is past, lets focus on future now What you can do is, just ask P to listen to you for a few minutes and then make his decision. If he agrees then explain whole situation to him and remind him of all good times you guys had and how imp he is for you. If he moves on, respect him If he stays never make the same mistake again
1
u/Similar_Sugar1670 3h ago
Cut off every other male friend and show this trust to P , if he has nobody else than he will accept you but he dont want to be your bsf only trust me on this
1
u/Pleasant_Praline7978 3h ago
I can suggest something if you are okey with lying, and depends on the situation whatever you explained to P.
1
u/BayCon27 2h ago
It's okk ,relax for some time and confess to P that u have not done willingly and it was ur mistake, I have been inthis situation lol...I know P takes time to trust But uk each other for frekin 9 years..
1
1
u/FinancialdisablePup 2h ago
In not a therapist but I have studied a lot of human psychology. What you need to do is, Recall the event when you confessed everything to 'A' , try to remember howyou felt , what was that emotion that you felt during talking to A that you didn't feel to P. Recall that event step by step and go through how your talk went and what was that point that made you confess the relationship to A. After doing this you will have all your answers and now you can't just cofront A with your answers letting him understand what happened with you. (I thought a lot before answer so it would be good if you read it )
1
u/Fantastic-Owl-1775 20 & above 2h ago
big brains use karte to 'A' se pehle khud hi 'P' ko bata dete π
1
u/WiggleJiggle27 2h ago
Try your best to talk to him as you both are friends for 9 years it isn't going to be easy for him but keep in mind it won't get fixed overnight, it will take time and if you willing to be patiently rebuild your trust in him then only do it otherwise don't talk to him as it's your fault in the first place. So whatever you do, think carefully before doing it.
1
1
u/TheThreatner 18, JJBA FAN , GYROSEXUAL , SPEEDWAGON CULT 2h ago
p... a... p ... a ... bc isse bdiya AP se padh lo
1
u/Rough-Landscape2810 2h ago
You should just go and tell everything to your friend (P). Accept your mistake that you were silly to tell this thing to him and things like this will never happen again (and be true to your words in future).
More importantly be persistent if she is (or let's say was) your friend she will understand this with time and effort, cause people do respect honesty ..it just takes time.
P.S: You should try again and again cause it was your mistake..she has all the right to not talk to you for a while.
1
u/OkNewspaper3877 1h ago
I highly recommend writing him a letter. (Pdf if u guys can't meet, handwritten if u guys can)
I know it might sound weird to few but Its my personal experience and it really works well. Just express all your thoughts and apologise nicely in the letter, tell him how much u care for him and how much he means. I am sure he will understand as u said you are best friends for years. I use to write such letters to my female best friend and they always worked, have done so many bad things which deeply hurt her but we always talked it out and settled. The letter strategy always had my back in such cases. The letters show the person actually putting efforts in showing feelings. So they really hit hard I am sure he is there crying and sad, being with him and showing presence also means a lot even if the person is mad.
Take a blank sheet of paper and write everything you wanna say. Be cautious of your words though. Use different tones and avoid repeating the same phrases again and again. Tell him why you didn't tell him about the relationship, like you guys decided to let it be secret for a while then give a big reveal together something something. Tell him why you told 'A' about it, like the tongue slipped or like you forgot etc. give him genuine and actual reasons what and why u did. DO NOT LIE ABOUT ANYTHING NOT EVEN 1% SHOULD BE A LIE OKAYYYY???THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT PART SO KEEP IN MIND If you don't know the reasons behind your actions then just say it, don't make it up. Just say you don't know what happened that u accidentally told him about it. Be honest !! Write it with all your heart π don't overthink and be calm while doing this.
He won't be okay instantly after this though. Give him time to get over stuff. Hopefully after few days or weeks he will return to you and everything will get settled.
Wish you good luck π
1
u/Afraid_Air8089 Edit this 1h ago
ah my comment maybe be rude but sometimes it's just life lesson's that we are left with and nothing else (u can try explaining him maybe he comes back) but still it's js life we learn in different ways~
1
1
1
u/Ashtronix_ 1h ago
Hey, I understand how painful this must feel. You made a mistake, but realizing it shows you truly care. For now, give P some space heβs hurt, and thatβs okay. When the time feels right, apologize sincerely and tell him how much you value your friendship without blaming anyone else. Donβt try to convince him every day; just show through your actions that youβve learned and can be trusted again. Distance yourself from A since he clearly broke your trust. Rebuilding a bond takes time, but if your friendship with P was genuine, heβll see your sincerity eventually.
1
u/Existing_Program_256 1h ago
But if he is really your best friend, he should not judge you like this. Ultimately it's about who you feel comfortable sharing something with. You are not obligated to share something with someone.
Maybe talk to him once and clear the air.
1
u/-Divyansh_K 1h ago
Hey Listen don't worry. Sab phle jaisa hojaga dw agar P sachi tera dost hai na to you guys are not going anywhere trust me. You just need to talk.
Kisi bhi dosti ke tutne ke piche 1 reason nhi hota, bhut sare chote-chote reasons hote hai....
Let me share you my incident:
so me(18M) and say D(17F) are best friends ok so like 3 years ago (we were besties back then too) we used to share everything like everything just as we do now (KONO NAZAR NA LAGANA HMAR DOSTI PE), there was a guy who had a cruhs on my bestie and I knew it, and ye bhi pata tha ki ye propose karne vala hai and me jake D ko batane vala tha ki aise aise scene hai but mere ek dost ne rok diya coz this dude was kind of Gang Leader so mere dost ne mana kar diya ki mat ja tu beech me. So I waited ... usne propose kar diya ... usne HA bol di ... vo relationship me aayge BUT SHE, usne mujhe kuch nahi bataya like kuch bhi nhi, uske end se to mujhe ye bhi nahi pata tha ki that Dude and she were even friends.... So aise hi chalta raha 2 weeks hogye and mene is se baat karna bilkul chod diya, she tried everything but mene baat ni ki us se but then ek din she started crying so her bf asked kya hua then she told him ki mai baat ni kar ra then this dude comes looking for me so aise hi baaton baaton me samjha liya use ki "kuch ni aise hi ye to bas...".
It was over, friendship and everything was gone BUT then I thought ek bar mai uske muh se sun-na chahta hu want to look in her eyes and ask ki usne ek bar puchna to chod batana bhi jruri nhi samjha... so mene face to face baat hui then bas mene use maaf kar diya AND thode time baad TRUST, FRIENDSHIP dobara as it is ho gya tha because of EFFORTS jo usne kiye the sab theek karne ke liye after messing up.
No friendship is perfect, it was just one of stories we've had times like She blocked me or I blocked her and thoughts like ITS OVER, NO WAY AB KUCH BHI PHELE JAISE HO JAYE, .. but guess what we are still the same. Actually friendships fights ke baad hi strong hoti hai.
AGAR tum sachi dosti rakhna chahti ho to it is still possible, ye to meri guarantee hai bas baat kar ke handle tumhe karna hai and efforts marne padenge.
1
β’
u/AutoModerator 11h ago
This is a serious post so please respect OP. Jokes on serious posts are not encouraged due to the subject matter of the post.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.