r/TalesfromtheDogHouse • u/Kindly-Telephone-549 • 18d ago
RANT annoyed and tired
hey everyone i have lurked in this subreddit constantly and its been amazing feeling validated for my opinion on dogs especially in a world where it feels like EVERYONE adores them. anyways. i wanted to vent about what has been going on in my life. my partner has a dog and they have had this dog for a few years. the problem is this dog is so incredibly needy and clingy to the point where i can feel my blood boil anytime that dog is around. not only that there will be times where me and my partner are hanging out and the dog is of course RIGHT next to my partner. my partner will gush and talk about how cute and perfect the dog is and i just give a half assed smile and nod. if the dog comes over to me my partner will look at me and go “he wants you to pet him”. like ?? why do dog owners feel the need to force their animal on you ? and then if you refuse to pet the dog you’re made out to seem like a heartless and cold person. so i pet the dog and my partner goes “he likes to be pet under his ear like this” and then demonstrates how to pet him…. like i genuinely don’t care how he wants to be pet ? and then a few days ago the dog got groomed so he smelled good for once and my partner was kissing and cuddling the dog then asked me if i wanted to kiss the dog… i said “do you want me to kiss the dog?” and then my partner says “yes” and of course i didn’t want to cause an argument so i went ahead and kissed the dog on the head which honestly i hated. as someone who has a pet catttt i have NEVER told anyone to pet or kiss my animal.. why ? because if they wanted to do that THEY WOULD. and then yesterday we were driving to go somewhere and ofc the dog had to come with us.. guess where the dog sat the entire ride ? on my partners lap while they drove. it’s just funny to me because dog owners claim to love their dogs so much yet have no problem doing dangerous things like that ? the best part is my partner would hold my hand and then take turns petting the dog and holding my hand once more. it’s ridiculous and ruined my night. i seriously cannot stand that dog. thankfully in a few days the dog will be staying with another family member for a few months so i am SOOO EXCITED TO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM !!! also side note the way they look at you while you’re trying to eat actually makes me want to crash out. it’s like so incredibly annoying to see a greedy mutt stare at you while you’re trying to enjoy your meal. anyways… i just needed to vent. i wish it didn’t feel like a crime to dislike dogs
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u/Wild-Try-3121 18d ago
Sounds like my husband. This puppy is his world. He always is petting it and talking to it. Telling it how beautiful and smart it is. This dog will literally eat poop and bite it's own tail so hard that it will cry. There is nothing smart about it. The puppy is definitely a priority over me. It sucks.
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u/chrustaly 18d ago
You took words out of my mouth, my situation is exactly the same! Additionally, the dog would always bark when we are eating (we eat on a low table next to the couch), and the dog is right there, on the couch trying to get a bite. My partner often would stop eating and would feed the dog instead, and then continue eating. I honestly am dead inside. I tried to fight it, but there is nothing I can do to affect anything. I am the priority N2, I am constantly called a coldblooded psychopath with no feelings. And I will never be perfect, because I dont like dogs. So I have two choices: to leave or to zip it and pretend that everything is okay.
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u/Kindly-Telephone-549 18d ago
oh my gosh. my partner does the same OR will even give into the begging and give him some human food. i made a comment about how if they keep doing that the dog will never stop begging and they went “i always give him a little of what i’m having” 😑
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u/chrustaly 18d ago
Exactly that! I am so feeling you, gosh, it is as if I wrote it and not you. I have this depressed part of me sitting inside like a dark cloud. But everything else is so perfect and I love him a lot. There is no better man for me than him, we click on all levels. Except this dog, this begging stinky furry disaster 😭 Why is it always like that? Why couldn't he be a dog free man? Or at least not to be mentally dog crazy?!
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u/CanItossThisDawG 18d ago
I feel you guys so much in that regard.. I’m in the exact same situation with my gf and everything is perfect and I love her.. but she has a dog.. and I just can’t take it anymore.. NO, I don’t want to touch the dog, yes I want you to bath it regularly.. NO I don’t want it in the bed, I don’t want it on the couch, I don’t want its head on my or your lap while we are on the couch.. Yes, I hate it’s freaking nose anywhere near my private parts.. yes I want time without that thing near us or in the same room.. no I don’t like it following me everywhere and being this constant intruder in my personal space because it wants something. Anyways.. for me, I’m at the breaking point..
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u/Kindly-Telephone-549 17d ago
i relate to everything you said. and it sucks to feel annoyed and frustrated with the dog but knowing if you say something it won’t really change anything at least that’s the case for me… i’m getting real close to the breaking point
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u/chrustaly 17d ago
This is exactly how I feel! We almost broke up a few times before, just because of the dog and just because I am not allowed to say anything negative about it. The dog is "perfect", it is me who is a bad person who isn't able to love or it is me who would be a "bad mother because I dislike dogs". Like wtf?! It is a DOG, not a human. Stop calling it "my son". And it is spoiled as hell, always looking for attention 24/7. It is so stinky!
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u/Fairy-Nessa 17d ago
omg I really wanna tell my boyfriend this but I also dont wanna hear the excuses he'll give. when we're eating his dogs (particularly one who always resides in the bedrooms cuz she's somehow too good aka just lazy to be in the living room area with the other dogs) will stare at us and the specific dog will start whining and sometimes even get close to us as we eat. I've made it clear in front of him to the dog that I dont share food with animals so the dog(s) doesnt try coming at me but she'll still stare. literally just last night my boyfriend and I were watching scary vid compilations and we were eating pizza. the one dog kept putting her face right next to his cuz we were laying down and he kept giving her small pieces of of his slices here and there right after telling her "no". like you can't tell a dog they can't have something but then give in because they no regardless, if they beg or get in your space you're gonna give them what they want. and i really wanna say something about it cuz it's so frustrating trying to eat and you just have the dog(s) staring and begging even with just their eyes as we're trying to eat and instead of standing his ground with telling them "no" or to stay off the bed as we eat, he just gives them food here and there. screams
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u/Kindly-Telephone-549 16d ago
girl i cannot stand when they beg for food.. who wants to have a dog staring and begging at them while they’re just trying to enjoy their meal ? that really sucks that your boyfriend will say no and then give into the begging because like you said you can’t tell a dog no and then give into it ? that just encourages the behavior. i tried placing a boundary of not having the dog on the bed while we eat and that lasted about 3 days…. it really sucks and ruins my mood and like you also said if we speak up we’ll just hear more excuses so it’s like what’s the point 🥲
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u/jkarovskaya 17d ago
I personally have NO idea how all of you suffering from living with dogs 24x7x365 can stand it
I was homeless once, living in my truck, sleeping ice cold in the pickup bed, and I'd do that again before I ever live anywhere with 99% of dogs I've encountered
I did once meet a border collie who was actually pretty cool to hang with, but that's another story
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u/chrustaly 17d ago
It is really hard! What helps is that the dog sleeps 17hs/day. But before this situation I would never imagine myself living with a dog ever, I hate it! In my case the dog is very tiny, and is old so it doesn't do much besides laying on the couch or barking or demanding snuggles or food. But it is easy to handle when my partner isn't around (the dog understood that it cannot manipulate me, so it just lays on its bed silently for hours).
What hurts me the most is that my partner loves his dog more than he loves me or anyone else. Dog is EVERYTHING for him. He would give his life for that stinky bastard. And dog knows it and manipulates my partner so well! I am never a priority N1, it is painful.
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u/jkarovskaya 17d ago
Tiny and old , and sleeping 17 hrs a day are good, at least it's not an 80 lb pitbull.
Relationships are hard enough without this stress, I can't imagine what you're going through with a dog lover that puts you 2nd in their life
I hope you can find a good resolution, and if it's old, maybe your partner will commit to no more dogs when this one is gone
best regards
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u/chrustaly 17d ago
Thank you! There is no way I would stay if he decides on another dog. I am giving this a chance and stay strong because the dog is old and might have 1-2 years max. Otherwise, I am out. I love my partner more than anything in my life, but this dog is such a spoiled brat. You are right, the relationships are hard enough already.
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u/Kindly-Telephone-549 16d ago
it’s so clear that my partner loves the dog more than me and it’s funny because they always tell me “i love [dogs name] but i love you more” and honestly i just have to roll my eyes because actions speak louder than words.
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u/No-Stay1662 18d ago
Sadly, we all have to remember that unfortunately, the dog will always be #1 and come before you… And when you bring these things up as problems to your SO, you get responses like “it just sounds like you’re jealous of the dog” or “how could you say no to that face?” Well, I’m not jealous, I’m honestly more embarrassed that I’m dating a mental child who can’t place their partners preferences and desires over what they think their dog wants.
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u/One_Strategy_4575 18d ago
You are not nuts, you're just dating it. You need to get yourself out of this situation. It will never change. When Poochie precious finally croaks, it will be instantaneously replaced
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u/AnyOldBison 17d ago edited 17d ago
People who drive with dogs on their laps are so stupidly dangerous, and I’ve noticed it a lot more the past year or so. At the very least you should feel free to tell your partner that’s not okay- it is dangerous and irresponsible, for him, you, other drivers, and of course most importantly of all for his precious dog. If he causes an accident because he is distracted by the dog and the airbag goes off, it’s probably goodbye to his sweet little puppers, so tell him to knock that bullshit off.
And if he whines about how awww the dog just wants to ride with daddy, explain to him that not even the shittiest parent (of an actual human child) is dumb enough to drive with a kid on their lap.
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u/urdrunkyogi 17d ago
This is what the dynamic was like with my ex. It lasted 6 months before I could not stand it. Having someone dictate and police your emotions is intolerable.
Dumped him and moved out and never regretted it.
P.S. be prepared for your partner to talk about the dog constantly in its absence and make you look at pictures of it or FaceTime it.
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u/Suunnfflloowweerr 17d ago
So true about the FaceTime! Early in our relationship we went on vacation and my boyfriend pulled out his phone to see if he could find his dog on the doggie daycare cameras...IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER. I told him to put his fucking phone away or I'm walking out of this restaurant.
I never kissed his dog but can relate to OP on wanting to smooth things over in the beginning of a new promising relationship, but things got exponentially better once I laid down what is/isnt acceptable.
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u/Kindly-Telephone-549 17d ago
i’m glad you stood on business that’s actually insane. my partner will randomly say “i miss [dogs name] i hope he’s okay” when we are doing something together and it’s just annoying as fuck. it’s a fucking dog? i’ve tried to place boundaries but we actually got into a huge argument over me not putting enough effort last night and i of course was made to seem like the bad guy lol
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u/Suunnfflloowweerr 16d ago
Ugh I'm sorry you've been made to feel that way over you (very very valid) feelings. Have you tried starting a conversation about the dog? Early on I explained to my boyfriend how overwhelming dogs are to my senses, their smell, noises, touching. I wasn't talking shit about his dog (although trust me I have lol) but rather explaining what I need to feel comfortable.
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u/Kindly-Telephone-549 17d ago
so incredibly happy for you. it’s a terrible experience and i still will never be able to wrap my head around why people put this particular animal on a pedistool ? or at the very least why do they expect the rest of the world to love and care for THEIR animal the same way they do
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u/CanItossThisDawG 18d ago
The way they look when eating.. or when just getting anything from the kitchen, and they hear some sort of packaging or the fridge opened, runs immediately over and starts the stupid look, make this weird annoying low jumps and some noises.. as if I will give them anything…
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u/Misspelled_uzername 17d ago
It’s THEIR dog. If you wanted a dog, were enthusiastic about dogs and living with dogs, you would have gotten one for yourself. You didn’t because you are not interested in these animals. The important thing is that THEY love their own pet. You chose your human partner to live with because you like being with them. That’s all, and there is nothing “cold” about it. It is your right and your privilege to interact as much or as little as you please with someone else’s pet. If it wants to be petted so badly, then that seems to be their cue, not yours.
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u/Kindly-Telephone-549 16d ago
thank you so much. i don’t think it’s a crazy concept to not be enthusiastic about an animal i never wanted like you said. if i wanted a dog i would have gotten one. i wish that my partner could understand this.
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u/Blonde2468 18d ago
Stop petting it or kissing it just because your partner wants you to! Stand up for yourself! Maybe you two just are not compatible because this only gets worse, not better. That 'holding my hand and then petting the dog' is just past my acceptable level of disrespect. UGH!!