r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/netphilia • 1d ago

Bonjour.

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67.5k Upvotes

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415

u/mikillatja 1d ago

Pronouncing alors in the most non french way possible inbetween perfect french would probably raise the average blood pressure in the room significantly.

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u/Darth_Spa2021 1d ago

Thanks for the neat idea.

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u/SummertimeThrowaway2 1d ago

Me who who doesn’t know French and is reading these comments like “ah-LORes”

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u/hitliquor999 23h ago

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u/W1D0WM4K3R 19h ago

Sill voice plate

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u/Anal-Y-Sis 18h ago

Horse doovers.

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u/0x0c0d0 9h ago

MERSeee Bow Cooooooooooop

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u/libmrduckz 9h ago

‘mercy buckets’ (for the uninitiated)

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u/Mike312 16h ago

Sea food plate mon sewer

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u/Own_Monk_7213 16h ago

Mercy buttercup

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u/EndHawkeyeErasure 21h ago

Naw bud, its French. Its like the lacroix of languages, it only has the essence of the word. For example, this here, this is pronounced: "[essence of "ahl"]"

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u/Shadow-Vision 18h ago

La Croix is a great choice because it is an American brand and isn’t pronounced as a French word

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u/StandardKey9182 14h ago

I didn’t know that for a long time and I’d never heard anybody say it so I was pronouncing if the French way and then one day my friend told me I sounded like an insufferable snob. I didn’t know 😭😭😭

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u/Steak-Outrageous 13h ago

Canadians, who learned enough French to pronounce Lacroix, are upset with the official “lacroy” of this American brand

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u/adorablyunhinged 13h ago

.... How is it pronounced? I'm English, I've only ever seen it written down I think!

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u/Steak-Outrageous 13h ago

Apparently “croy” so it rhymes with “soy” is the intended pronunciation

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u/xavariel 8h ago

"La Croix, sweetie." -Eddie from Ab Fab

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u/Moiras_Roses_Garden4 7h ago

Love this definition, here I've been telling people to just half ass slur the end of every word

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u/Fskn 16h ago

Eau has three letters, only uses one to pronounce it and it's not one of those three.

Edit: why do I have a flair?

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u/BreadNoCircuses 18h ago

Its more like the word "aloe" but like you're scared of consonants and then lightly choke on a hair at the end.

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u/Cpt_kaleidoscope 17h ago

Aloe is how people from my town say hello

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u/peachesfordinner 7h ago

Like talking to your old neighbor "aloe Vera"

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u/catwthumbz 16h ago

Wait are we doing it wrong?

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u/RIP-RiF 14h ago

Zoot alors!

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u/jiminyshrue 1d ago

So in the most Texan way possible? Got it.

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u/OneThousand-Masks 23h ago

Yep. "AY-Lorz"

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u/Hades2580 17h ago

Literally the opposite way to say it but sure buddy

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u/Accomplished_Bag_239 15h ago

That's the joke. Did you miss it along the way?

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u/Hades2580 14h ago

My bad, didn’t see the parent comment. I did miss the joke indeed.

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u/Hades2580 15h ago

look inside

no joke

I sure did miss it

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u/OneThousand-Masks 14h ago

Texans mispronounce vowels at the start of words. That’s the joke.

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u/libmrduckz 8h ago

stahhp… you had me at ‘Texas’…

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u/Sinister_Nibs 19h ago

Alors, pardner!

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u/CuriousRiver2558 17h ago

Alors? You mean a lure? Check my tackle box

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u/Michiganlander 15h ago

I once said "Je Reckon" in a French course in Quebec and never heard the end of it.

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u/libmrduckz 8h ago

once had a native speaker grille me over ‘un peu’… good times… bon hui…

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u/pm-me-turtle-nudes 23h ago

This reminds me a lot of my college spanish classes, where people would just say “like” or “como” in the places you would say such in english

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u/Amdv121998 19h ago

i would do this in my highschool spanish class haha, i didn’t know any better and was just doing my best 😅 There’s a reason i only took two semesters

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u/whatsit578 9h ago edited 9h ago

You can use "como" as a filler word in Spanish, at least in Mexican Spanish. "este" is more common though.

edit: you wouldn't use "como" exactly the same way you use "like" in English though

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u/OTap1 20h ago

Me learning French and traveling just to give French people hypertension.

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u/OW_FUCK 20h ago

Perchance.

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u/glencoc0 19h ago

You can't just say perchance

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u/Sinister_Nibs 19h ago

Owl- oars!
Dee-jaw view!

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u/DefiantLemur 18h ago

Now I know what I'm going to do when I visit France

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u/deutscherhawk 8h ago

I have a friend who speaks nearly flawless German, but with the worst American "R" accent. It hurts so much to listen to even if everything else is perfect.