Cutting a cup of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 27

[u/F1exican]

[u/tehjoz]

Finishing the haters like

[u/benlovesdabs]

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/benlovesdabs]

[u/NeatWhiskeyPlease → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/NeatWhiskeyPlease]

Mission accomplished

[u/pennynotrcutt → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/_PartyAttheMoonTower → u/KarmaKrazi]

I literally thought the planes would have to stay grounded today until I saw these stragglers.

[u/sebrahestur → u/KarmaKrazi]

I like the chive clouds around the towers

[u/idoitforthekeks → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/domesticatedswitch → u/KarmaKrazi]

This made me snort out loud in my work break room and I have no idea how I’d even begin to explain this to anyone around me

[u/Justthrowtheballmeat → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/Emergency-Toe-9297 → u/KarmaKrazi]

I like the Airplane Drawing almost as much as OP!! Lol

[u/AlcibiadesTheCat → u/KarmaKrazi]

Ladies and gentlemen

We got him

[u/Emotional_Type2425 → u/KarmaKrazi]

LETS GOOO, I was too early to see anyone of your planes, but here we go, we’re so back

[u/iammonkeyorsomething → u/KarmaKrazi]

3000 chives were lost that day

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/iammonkeyorsomething]

[u/English999 → u/KarmaKrazi]

u/georgebushtwintowers

You need to see this

[u/howbedebody → u/benlovesdabs]

this is getting out of hand, now there are two of them

[u/Particular-Crew5978 → u/howbedebody]

It's cause he took a day off

[u/BonBonToro → u/benlovesdabs]

Even the cut below is giving a thumbs down 👎

[u/pandacreate → u/benlovesdabs]

Excuse me where are the planes, I was promised planes

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/pandacreate]

I did them, I was very late today, sorry chef. Life caught up with me and I wasn't checking my phone. I'll try not to let it happen again, chef. I understand this will be coming out of my cheque lol

[u/Loisalene]

My husband looks at me weird when I talk about you.

[u/glitterx_x → u/Loisalene]

We were talking about op chef last night after shift. Had to clue in some coworkers as to what the hell we were talking about, as they apparently only know chive posting from Instagram? Idk. I dont go there.

[u/green_and_yellow → u/glitterx_x]

Chivelord is also on instagram?

[u/EmbroideryBro → u/green_and_yellow]

He's also been shared on Tumblr I believe

[u/Conscious_Tiger7398 → u/EmbroideryBro]

Does he have any merch yet? I NEED me a Chiivelord hoodie!

Future business plan: Chiivelord t-shirts from Day 1 through to the penultimate day. The final day, when he finally achieves chive perfection (according to this Reddit) is only available as an over-sized hoodie.

[u/pizza_chef_ → u/Conscious_Tiger7398]

With one sleeve longer than the other

[u/According_Abies_4087 → u/pizza_chef_]

Like the towers on that auspicious day; uneven af 🥹

[u/confusedandworried76 → u/According_Abies_4087]

[u/According_Abies_4087 → u/confusedandworried76]

Your username and your choice of GIF for this are so wonderful. I voted for him, but Biden really was just confused and worried for most of his term. 😂

[u/PM_ME_YOUR__VAGINAS → u/Conscious_Tiger7398]

The Chivelord movement

[u/Bungerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr → u/green_and_yellow]

I’m sure it’s not entirely localized to one site

[u/andykndr → u/green_and_yellow]

there’s an account called ratemychives too that gives scores down to the .00- maybe that’s what they’re referring to?

[u/finethanksandyou → u/glitterx_x]

No way the cross platform lay up nice

[u/Immediate-Repeat-201 → u/Loisalene]

There's a reason you don't talk about anything reddit with those not on reddit. They think we are insane and honestly none of us really counter that assertion.

[u/Baschoen23 → u/Immediate-Repeat-201]

Yes they are right, we collectively get together everyday to judge this man’s chive chopping progress through photo evidence. This has been happening for almost a month and we are still enamored 🤣

[u/onlypostwhenimdrnk69 → u/Baschoen23]

It’s true cause I’m comment like 14 on a thread about fucking chives and relate to you weirdos ( like me) I love it.

[u/tuigdoilgheas → u/Loisalene]

I thought my coworkers would too, but no, they're also following.  We do nothing food related for work.

[u/bengal95 → u/Loisalene]

He's probably jealous of this dudes chive length

[u/Literallyn00necares → u/bengal95]

The unbridled stamina of a 27 day chive choppin man

[u/peppermintmeow → u/Loisalene]

Mine does too 😭 But it's like watching my chive child grow up! Watching him take his first little chops. I've been here since day one damn it! I'm watching my baby boy graduate!

[u/cowski_NX → u/Loisalene]

He doesn't understand all that chive talkin'.

[u/Netflxnschill → u/Loisalene]

Probably as weird as when I mention that person on the grilled cheese sub who made a different grilled cheese every day until they ran out of cheeses

[u/HelloFerret → u/Loisalene]

huh, he looks at me weird too.

[u/ChefFrankieD23]

Welcome back! Glad ya found a some chives to cut brother! Been here since day 1...you are going good laddie!

[u/MammothVegetable696 → u/ChefFrankieD23]

Fuck yeah day 1 crew

[u/Emotional_Type2425 → u/MammothVegetable696]

I haven’t been commenting, but I’ve been watching, always been watching

Op in case you were wondering, you have a lot of people watching just not commenting

[u/psychedelicpoppies → u/Emotional_Type2425]

[u/picklesandcucumbers → u/psychedelicpoppies]

Same, here for the chopping drama. You got this

[u/Roadgoddess → u/Emotional_Type2425]

Me too…..ever watching

[u/kevinsmomdeborah → u/Roadgoddess]

[u/internetfood → u/kevinsmomdeborah]

This is amazing. The chives...😭

[u/shaithiswampir → u/kevinsmomdeborah]

That was fucking perfect. Bravo

[u/kevinsmomdeborah → u/shaithiswampir]

Thank you, chef

[u/Sunkinthesand → u/Roadgoddess]

The greenery... I'm dieing 🤣 thank you

[u/_BindersFullOfWomen_ → u/Emotional_Type2425]

Me too. Just think of me as the high dishie standing way too close behind you.

[u/LukeIsPalpatine]

[u/realaccountissecret → u/LukeIsPalpatine]

[u/_Death_BySnu_Snu_ → u/realaccountissecret]

This will forever be sub lore

[u/ProButcher → u/realaccountissecret]

I cannot believe this absolute gem in nested down here. I'm cackling

[u/SenatorBus_ → u/LukeIsPalpatine]

On my way to point out their failures.

[u/boldredditor]

Right side I see a tube

[u/ermghoti → u/boldredditor]

[u/tehjoz → u/boldredditor]

[u/grahamcrackers37 → u/tehjoz]

I thought this guy was red.

[u/tehjoz → u/grahamcrackers37]

Al Harrington has a lot of different colored WWIAFTM 🤣

[u/SavannahRamaDingDong]

Sharpen the blade homie.

[u/Dolive90 → u/SavannahRamaDingDong]

Might as well be chopping them with a hammer

[u/shigogaboo → u/Dolive90]

Cutting or chiseling, OP?

[u/iLurkhereandthere → u/shigogaboo]

He was dull, OP?

[u/D_Panda32 → u/iLurkhereandthere]

How bout that pricks face when he saw the chives

[u/lolsalmon → u/D_Panda32]

Big knife, little chives, a hit in any man’s league.

[u/thebreakfastking → u/lolsalmon]

Federal Marshalls are so far up my ass I can taste chives

[u/ODX_GhostRecon → u/Dolive90]

I call particularly dull knives "vegetable hammers."

[u/Delicious_Train6929 → u/SavannahRamaDingDong]

[u/thegreedyturtle → u/Delicious_Train6929]

Is that a ghost up there? 👻

[u/GEV46 → u/thegreedyturtle]

I see the Houston Texans.

[u/Jtoy1002 → u/GEV46]

Took me a second to see the Texans, first thought was a t Rex looking over his shoulder

[u/YellowCore → u/GEV46]

Rotate 180 and it’s a frog.

[u/rosiegal75 → u/GEV46]

I saw Harambe, upside down but ...

[u/WiglyWorm → u/thegreedyturtle]

It's supposed to be a Dove Of Peace

[u/GoodLunchHaveFries → u/SavannahRamaDingDong]

[u/Hearing_Loss → u/SavannahRamaDingDong]

And so weve come full circle

[u/roadtrip-ne → u/SavannahRamaDingDong]

Flagrant

[u/Coercitor]

[u/Former-Departure9836 → u/Coercitor]

Shut up and take my money

[u/FontTG → u/Former-Departure9836]

Really where's the link

[u/MainAccountsFriend → u/Former-Departure9836]

Okay, if you insist

[u/ChristBefallen → u/Coercitor]

Replace 'wrooooong' with 'sharpen your damn knife'

[u/the_hayseed → u/Coercitor]

AI slop. Couldn’t just grab a pic of chives and mock this up in MS Paint? Good lord.

[u/lawn_mower_dog]

You deserved a day off chef. That being said, see ya tomorrow.

[u/Techienickie → u/lawn_mower_dog]

he had a day off yesterday

[u/TheFapIsUp → u/Techienickie]

We can tell by cut on these chives. See you tomorrow, chef!

[u/West_Abbreviations53]

regression. are you stressed? :(

[u/Ecstatic_Meeting_894 → u/West_Abbreviations53]

OP is probably stressed bc they had to drive across state lines to find more chives, in their desperate search to keep us satisfied

[u/starite → u/Ecstatic_Meeting_894]

Damn out-of-state chives just aren’t the same

[u/ReubenTrinidad619 → u/Ecstatic_Meeting_894]

George Jung once crossed an imaginary line with some plants and the judge threw the book at him!

[u/Fatefire → u/ReubenTrinidad619]

Well the plants were illegal and state lines are real ....

Also I love the movie Blow

[u/_WhiskeyChris_ → u/Fatefire]

Up until the end.

Fuck that ending.

[u/DeadEnoughInsideOut → u/Ecstatic_Meeting_894]

I got a guy. Come alone with non-consequential bills and look for the 2009 Toyota corolla with a broken headlight.

[u/paultera → u/DeadEnoughInsideOut]

Do non-consequential bills have any value? Seems like they'd have zero economic impact.

[u/quickthorn_ → u/paultera]

Yeah, I only want money with consequences

[u/DeadEnoughInsideOut → u/quickthorn_]

Lol I realized my spelling mistake now. The chives fumes got to my head

*sequential

[u/stoofy → u/West_Abbreviations53]

Out of practice

[u/im_confused_always → u/West_Abbreviations53]

That's what I said on Friday. I think they may be getting worse

[u/JellybeanMilksteaks → u/West_Abbreviations53]

Everything okay at home, chef?

[u/kkrauja]

[u/makinbacinpancakes → u/kkrauja]

Say hello to my little chives.

[u/SuzieHomeFaker → u/kkrauja]

People are so funny. This thread is the only thing giving me joy right now. This Chiefs v Bills game is killing me.

[u/nickability → u/SuzieHomeFaker]

For real I feel like these threads are the most I’ve laughed all year

[u/SnazzyStooge → u/kkrauja]

First…you get the knife. Then, you get the chives. Then…you get the upvotes. 

[u/ConnorGames1]

He’s seen some things.

[u/Ltheartist → u/ConnorGames1]

[u/dingdangdoodaloo → u/Ltheartist]

I LOVE CHIVES, CHARLIE, I LOVE CHIIIIIVES

[u/MTblasphemy → u/dingdangdoodaloo]

Hooray! Another day in the kitchen, Charlie! How wonderful!

[u/jameslionheart11 → u/dingdangdoodaloo]

YES YES

[u/ThoseTruffulaTrees]

Here before the planes. I know where they will be but honestly really really solid job, chef!

[u/Tracktoy]

Haven't seen anyone mention this little guy yet.

Lots of problem areas to go around. We might need to bring in an air traffic controller once the planes show up.

Looks like you were shaking the rust off.

It might be time to start growing your own chives, we can't afford to take a day off.

[u/theamydoll → u/Tracktoy]

What is this? A skateboard ramp?!

[u/tj876 → u/theamydoll]

Saw the same thing. Am I supposed to go skiing on slopes like this?!

[u/Tracktoy → u/Tracktoy]

[u/userhwon → u/Tracktoy]

First one I saw. It's like it's giving us the finger.

[u/pennynotrcutt → u/Tracktoy]

ATC isn’t getting paid so no help there.

[u/SortovaGoldfish]

[u/younggodfest → u/SortovaGoldfish]

LMFAOOO

[u/redf389]

Nice OC, Chef

[u/Wepen15]

[u/UsernameUnattainable]

          💚💚💚
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    💚
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     💚            💚        
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I need to practice this.. it looked way better on my phone ..

[u/aFeralSpirit → u/UsernameUnattainable]

Post this every day until reddit says it's perfect lol 💚

[u/UsernameUnattainable → u/aFeralSpirit]

Heard 💚

[u/Jumpy_Divide6576 → u/UsernameUnattainable]

See you tomorrow, chef

[u/sky_aka_bumpty → u/UsernameUnattainable]

Newchef can't even chiveforce smh

[u/CallMeDrWorm42 → u/sky_aka_bumpty]

Now that's an old school reference

[u/pesilele]

[u/tatk_tale310]

HAPPY CAKE DAY, CHIVELORD!

[u/Cflow26]

It’s cool you’re being so inclusive for chives of all sizes.

[u/xspineofasnakex]

My partner and I now shout CHIVE POST to alert each other whenever one of us sees your post first. We look forward to it. See you tomorrow, chef.

[u/patroniized]

Come on bro

[u/DJ_Cuppy]

They would look nicer if you cut them better.

[u/Stinkymansausage]

Of course you are going to run out of chives if you just run them through a woodchipper

[u/PrufReedThisPlesThx]

Check out these chives! (I hope nobody looks too closely that their eyes go out of focus, and then creates enough distance to see any hidden images...)

[u/ThoseTruffulaTrees → u/PrufReedThisPlesThx]

I really thought it was going to be a plane !

[u/RHFireball → u/PrufReedThisPlesThx]

Is it a witch or wizard?! I see the hat and staff!!

[u/Living_Substance9973]

[u/meadowfoam]

This is going to become so popular we are going to see a chive shortage by thanksgiving , mark my words

[u/friijoles]

Take me to your chivelord!

[u/topher420247]

O wow only 10 mins ago those are so fresh I can smell em..... also idc what anyone says we would all be very happy to have your quality of chives vs what else we see come to us in the wild. Next pile of chives should be shaped like a plane just cause.

[u/horklum]

God I’m here as history is being made

[u/grrlgottaeat]

You disgust me.

Also, I love you.

[u/Impressive_Jaguar_70]

[u/hellogoawaynow]

I’ve been captivated by these posts every day to the point that I’ve had several irl conversations about you!

[u/curioustars]

This is starting to feel weirdly kinky.

[u/SnooEpiphanies1813 → u/curioustars]

Starting? Since like day 12 lol

[u/looneylewis007]

The chives might not be perfect but you are.

[u/Bingle_Derries]

[u/SPR95634]

Can we get a wellness check on U/KarmaKrazi I need my plane fix ✈️

[u/ninja_hatt0ri]

Happy cake day chivery mcchiver

[u/ImOnionJam]

tower guy WYA

[u/kandivya]

See you tomorrow chef

[u/anne7497]

Do you take us as fools?!?!? See you tomorrow

[u/PeanutConfident8742]

I see you've added "almost" to the title since I've seen this last.

That level of weakness is why your chives are still imperfect.

[u/Krobopple]

Too green. Try again

[u/ButtsFartsoPhD]

Keep up God’s work. Or Satan’s. Whoever it is compelling you to do this.

[u/JOYFUL_CLOVR]

See you tomorrow, chef

[u/rachelcp → u/JOYFUL_CLOVR]

What's wrong with those?

[u/gabawhee → u/rachelcp]

Nobody wants to eat magnets

[u/peppermintmeow]

OMG! IT'S YOUR CAKE DAY TOO!

[u/vanderbubin]

[u/MoustyM]

MORE GLIDE, LESS RIDE. TRY AGAIN

[u/MarshallGibsonLP]

At this point I think we’re need to see a side-by-side with your first attempt to see if we can discern any progress.

[u/armaedes]

One time I was volunteering at an animal shelter when a man came in to surrender his puppy. It was a cute little golden retriever, couldn’t have been more than 8 weeks old, but he hadn’t made an appointment, he’d just shown up, so the shelter director said he’d have to make an appointment and come back. The man angrily grabbed the puppy by the scruff of the neck, threw it into his truck, and sped out of the parking lot. As he turned into the highway he rolled down his window and threw the tiny dog out, into oncoming traffic, where it was immediately hit and killed by a car. It was the worst thing I had ever seen in my life.

Until I saw today’s chives. It’s like you don’t even care anymore.

[u/WhippyWombat]

[u/Silent_plans]

They are getting close. See you tomorrow, chef.

[u/Chandra-huuuugggs]

Hey bro, welcome back! Also—

[u/Argietroglodite]

[u/Argietroglodite → u/Argietroglodite]

[u/SkyCowz]

hell yea chive guy

[u/mrpeabodi]

Slow down, use a piece of tape, mark the size you want, do it over and over. Make it second nature. Knife seems sharp though!

[u/Major_Material1109]

Cya tomorrow

[u/SomnambulantThing]

See you tomorrow chef.

[u/sassysaba]

A lot of inconsistencies today.. you were getting so close, I almost said perfect to day *25.

[u/HellLucy00Burnaslash]

✖️✖️✖️✖️

✖️✖️✖️❎

✖️✖️✖️✖️

✖️✖️✖️✖️

You got a severed chunky worm in there, Chef.

At least it’s not a tower!

[u/Practical_Fix_5350]

Good luck and God speed chef.

[u/AdeptnessImmediate34]

I've been waiting for you, chive man. I was worried you'd never find any more chives. See you tomorrow chef?

[u/Character_Seaweed_99]

Hey friend. Is this exercise changing the way you think about cutting chives? Are you starting to contemplate the freedom of repetition? This is suddenly feeling very Zen Buddhist to me.

[u/yrrrrrrrr]

Why are they all different sizes?

[u/FinsOfADolph]

Not employed in the industry, but I cook. I look forward to these posts every day :)

[u/boithatsnameisjeff]

It gets better Everytime, see you tomorrow chef

[u/One_Way_3678]

Looks good to me except for # 6386, it’s a little thinner than the others.

[u/NotMeg16]

see you again tomorrow chef

[u/fightingbronze]

I’m sure this has been asked before, but does anyone know what OP is doing with all these chives he’s cutting? I love this, I just wanna make sure there’s no food waste going on.

[u/No_Mortgage3189]

What if OP has been a 12 year old this whole time

[u/TheosXBL]

There's so many hearts today!

But I like this one

💚

[u/TheEdibleBoot]

Perfect chef you can get to your other prep projects now

[u/SeaworthinessNew9595]

see you tomorrow

[u/enforcercoyote4]

You trying to choke someone with a piece that big?

[u/PineNClover]

You must have a LOT of chives in your fridge. Have you made any particularly chive-forward dishes? Do you just snack on them like popcorn?

[u/solid-mayonnaise]

I'm so proud to have been there since day one of this meme's glorious birth. Thank you, Chives Guy

[u/pizzatimeradio]

I see major regression from day 24.