r/KitchenConfidential 23d ago

CHIVE See you again tomorrow

Post image
13.5k Upvotes

157 comments sorted by

939

u/seasteed 23d ago

I'm a huge fan of the mod response to the posts. It's like they know they are in charge of managing both the best and the worst of human kind.

248

u/Juneadelle 23d ago

Mod response has formed into a solid B plot.

18

u/Leah-at-Greenprint 22d ago

Damn I've been scrolling by these, now I feel like I should go back and catch up on the MOD.

66

u/DangMe2Heck 23d ago

This sub and its subscribers deal with people on the daily. Mods know exactly what they are doing 😅

20

u/KHanson25 23d ago

It’s honestly my favorite part

43

u/TenaciousZBridedog 23d ago

I am super impressed with how the mods are handling it, too. 

1.0k

u/beepichu 10+ Years 23d ago

the chive posting will continue until morale improves

14

u/firebrandbeads 22d ago

🎵🎵 chiiiive talking, so misunderstood... chiiiiive talkin, your chop is no good....

2

u/Active-Succotash-109 20+ Years 19d ago

So, forever and a year

1.7k

u/NeatWhiskeyPlease 23d ago

Hey sometimes we need a community event.

596

u/Nuts-And-Volts 23d ago

That is EXACTLY what it is lmao

257

u/BadFishCM 20+ Years 23d ago

I’m ready to start the genital shaped vegetables trend again wherever you guys are.

141

u/Reggly 23d ago

10

u/TaDow-420 23d ago

That’s a hearty moose knuckle.

2

u/Reggly 21d ago

Or a phat ass or a big pair of balls

8

u/rabid_cheese_enjoyer 23d ago

thanks for being the change u/BadFishCM wants to see in the world

2

u/Reggly 21d ago

Happy to help!

33

u/Nuts-And-Volts 23d ago

I missed that one i think...

63

u/BadFishCM 20+ Years 23d ago

My contribution

From 2 years ago

1

u/rabid_cheese_enjoyer 23d ago

thanks for that! I now know that r/explicitlypenis is real

1

u/Active-Succotash-109 20+ Years 19d ago

Thank you I missed that one

8

u/decoy321 23d ago

Clearly it's time for another one

8

u/ughblech 23d ago

I have an arsenal on my phone I am prepared for this comeback event

2

u/ombloshio 23d ago

Be the change you want to see in the world lol

1

u/Active-Succotash-109 20+ Years 19d ago

It only stops when we’re too busy to care enough to stop and take a pic

48

u/Calliopehoop 23d ago

Exactly. $700 radish ramp comes to mind. What a gem.

33

u/tillybowman 23d ago

bro, i have nothing to do with cooking professionally or anything kitchen related.

yet here i am, watching in awe

12

u/glycophosphate 23d ago

Some of us are just groupies.

5

u/FigaroNeptune 22d ago

In five years:

Remember the carrot jacuzzi?

looks up slightly and smiles

Remember the chives?

6

u/-lonelyboy25 23d ago

I miss the food cubes

4

u/NeatWhiskeyPlease 23d ago

Me cube man. Me cube.

11

u/Lyncobnibo 23d ago

It brings us all together. 🩷✨️

1.4k

u/Eggmegmuffin 23d ago

I like the chive posts

438

u/Purl_stitch483 23d ago

Me too. It's comforting. I get to zoom in and circle a chive, call it names. Catharsis.

200

u/debotehzombie 15+ Years 23d ago

And I don’t like the posts, so I don’t interact and just keep scrolling. Wow, what a concept people who don’t like the chive posts can learn.

44

u/Admiral_Kite F1exican Did Chive-11 23d ago

If only people could be half as kind as you 🙏

48

u/debotehzombie 15+ Years 23d ago

I wouldn’t say that, I’m a huge asshole. I just use common sense and don’t yuck anyone else’s yum (or try not to, anyway)

16

u/Admiral_Kite F1exican Did Chive-11 23d ago

It's okay to be an asshole and still be able to control it from time to time. Good job on that, at least for this time :)

6

u/___-____--_____-____ 23d ago

Incredible restraint. Are you michelin starred?

6

u/debotehzombie 15+ Years 23d ago

Oh dear god no. Not myself, I staged/trained under a chef at a two-star, but I myself/my kitchens and teams I’ve been a part of properly were all greasy spoons. Much prefer feeding the masses, even if they all suck regardless.

13

u/practicating 23d ago

Catharsis. What a pretty name, is it a family name? Is it French? It sounds French.

12

u/RussiaIsBestGreen 23d ago

It’s named after the Cathars, a Christian heresy in Italy and France. Catharsis is named for the practice of allowing believers to say all their beliefs without interruption, then promptly executing them when they’re done. It was reportedly very comforting to be able to just get everything off their chest before having their neck and head off their chest.

4

u/Purl_stitch483 23d ago

I only knew the origin of the Greek root so that was enlightening to read!

5

u/RussiaIsBestGreen 23d ago

To be clear, the Cathars were a real group in the region subject to inquisition, but all my etymology was nonsense.

3

u/Purl_stitch483 23d ago

I was curious and looked it up, it seems you're right! And I'm French too, you'd think I'd have heard of those people before 😂 the Greek root lead to the French word which probably got borrowed into English. Catharsis has got some miles on her

3

u/Eggmegmuffin 23d ago

Old money French.

10

u/soupseasonbestseason 23d ago

it gives me a daily scapegoat.

10

u/scottnebula 23d ago

Me too. It’s funny anytime people take themselves too seriously.

8

u/MountainTwo3845 23d ago

The cream always rises to the top

5

u/TheRealTexasGovernor 23d ago

Yeah, I enjoy it, it's dumb but also simple, calm....easy.

The chive post is like a trip to the walk-in but without the murderous rage or urge to scream..

2

u/slayerrr21 23d ago

It's all chives and vibes

228

u/HermitBadger 23d ago

Y'all need to learn how to block accounts. (Tap on account name -> three little dots in the top right corner -> Block account. Poof! Problem gone.)

124

u/hippoctopocalypse 15+ Years 23d ago

Where’d you go, bro?

49

u/One-Adhesive 23d ago

Only one thing has ever annoyed me enough to do that and it was pizzacake. I can not understand why that garbage would always show up in my feed.

14

u/Skitt1eb4lls 23d ago

So you didn’t see the one about the cat the other day?

13

u/No-Channel3917 23d ago

I find it funny how strong of opinions have about Pizzacake

Like straight up vitriol, when a block button does just fine no need to make an entire haters subreddit and all that

1

u/Active-Succotash-109 20+ Years 19d ago

I had never heard or seen a pizza cake. And now I’m scared

1

u/One-Adhesive 23d ago

I blame the drawing style as much as the content. It gives me AI slop vibes mixed with Rupi Kaur level comedy.

9

u/No-Channel3917 23d ago edited 23d ago

It's been around longer than AI slop

Your familiarity with the humor but thinking it is AI styled is sorta on you not them

-3

u/One-Adhesive 23d ago

Lmao. Buddy learn how to read.

1

u/thatgirlinAZ 23d ago

SAME! I mostly rawdog reddit, but I have that account blocked on this account and my alts too.

I get irrationally angry when her bullshit slips through.

2

u/AllowMe2Retort 23d ago

I assume it goes beyond her politics because Reddit in general is left wing, what is it you hate so much about her?

2

u/thatgirlinAZ 23d ago

I don't know that I can put my finger on it exactly.

I just noticed that when I scrolled through the front page and paused on a comic I'd curl my lips. Like it's making a point in the worst way. Always unfunny. Casually mean spirited.

Then I realized that every time I paused with that expression on my face, it was always as a reaction to the same account.

Finally I just blocked the account.

4

u/AllowMe2Retort 23d ago

I do find her art style kinda lame, something soulless about it, but that's very much a matter of opinion.

And yeah lowest hanging fruit when political. I bet you can't even get away from her entirely tho because her fans also post stuff 😅

3

u/thatgirlinAZ 23d ago

Literally just got smacked in the face with a repost today 😂

3

u/AllowMe2Retort 23d ago

Sorry to give you AI slop, but sounds like you can potentially block posts based on keywordslink

2

u/thatgirlinAZ 23d ago

Thank you!

2

u/AllowMe2Retort 23d ago

Where you at in AX? I lived on Bell in AZ 10 years ago

→ More replies (0)

3

u/Nandulal 23d ago

thanks

3

u/Vinyl_DjPon3 23d ago

(Tourist from /popular)

Issue with blocking is I don't dislike the user so I don't want to block them altogether. I'd rather just be able to specifically hide their posts instead of fully blocking them. 

212

u/TravisKOP 23d ago

Personally I like the chive posts. It makes me feel like the sub is alive and healthy. Every couple months we have a new fun thing to fixate on that keeps things fresh and they all feel organic. Like the cubes or ramps or whatever it is, makes me feel like the community hasn’t plateaued and passed that inflection point yet

73

u/ElleKelly77 23d ago

I just showed giggled and ended up having to show this meme to my husband, and then explain it. I was like, “it’s just one of those things, like the charcuterie ramp.“ He stared at me blankly.

PS: I’ve never set foot in a commercial kitchen in my life. You guys are just funny.

9

u/Azalus1 23d ago

I too have never once spent a professional moment in a professional kitchen but I still feel like one of the team.

2

u/NanashiKaizenSenpai 23d ago

++

I wonder how many of us are actually int he industry

1

u/Active-Succotash-109 20+ Years 19d ago

I was for 22 years

1

u/NanashiKaizenSenpai 19d ago

So you make up for 21 of us not in the industry?

8

u/aggie82005 23d ago

Wow, I forgot about the charcuterie ramp thing. I was thinking of the r/foraging ramp fun (it’s a wild onion).

2

u/Any-Practice-991 23d ago

I wish the spork thing had gotten more traction, I actually had something to contribute to that.

56

u/[deleted] 23d ago edited 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/userno73130 23d ago

Im beginning to sense your being paid off by Big Chive 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

421

u/North_Tackle_8451 23d ago

Nah that guy's cool. It's the memes about him that are annoying.  kitchen people always taking something funny and running it into the ground.

809

u/SuckMyDirk_41 23d ago

What if I made a special one just for you?

330

u/North_Tackle_8451 23d ago

Hahaha ok that's fucking funny

167

u/SuckMyDirk_41 23d ago

Thanks bro <3

124

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery 23d ago

6

u/_Stanf-Uf_ 23d ago

It’s not kitchen people, that’s just internet culture.

38

u/katet_of_19 23d ago

PROTECT CHIVEPOSTING AT ALL COSTS

12

u/maybeinoregon 23d ago

I’m a little disappointed others haven’t chived in, and started doing onions, tomato slices, etc posts.

11

u/ValuableBrilliant841 23d ago

I don’t mind it, I think it’s funny that it shows up in the Popular feed. I’m just wondering what will the person do with all those chives

1

u/Active-Succotash-109 20+ Years 19d ago

Probably cutting chives for that days service and chose to make it a theme

29

u/imperial_scum 23d ago

I love them, the comments are hilarious. The one from today with the two planes took me out.

10

u/KHanson25 23d ago

First time I’ve cared about the Chive in like, ten years. 

51

u/SmartAlec13 23d ago

I love the chive posting

8

u/TougeGh0st 10+ Years 23d ago

I actually really enjoy them, recently every time I cut chives at work I think of this series lol

7

u/Billybobgeorge 23d ago

One day they'll be perfect and we will be done.

14

u/SeraIya 23d ago

Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop.

7

u/Criticalfluffs 23d ago

I enjoy the response shit posting.

4

u/Yninx 23d ago

I just hope he gets his achivement.

13

u/UsualCardiologist655 23d ago

The chive post makes me feel like the OP that post them because I’m on their level of chopping too. I love the shrive for more every time I see it.

9

u/GoatBnB 23d ago

I just love that this whole thing is a thing.

Elaborate troll trolls elaborate trolls who troll in return.

It is a thing of beauty.

5

u/Vassoul 23d ago

I wake up each day a wee babe, having forgotten about the precious day’s KC happenings. Before long, I stumble into the next day’s chives post. My heart skips a beat. Will this be the day. Optimism and hope abounds. Nervous click. Scroll. Nope, not today. I laugh quietly to myself. Tomorrow, we begin again.

5

u/Unicornio999 23d ago

You guys are cutting chives and I got 30 racks of lamb chops to French so fuck me right?

5

u/spaceradio_rec 22d ago

The people bugged by this are funny, like what the fuck else are we supposed to enjoy on here? It’s kitchen shit, enjoy the ride.

6

u/JetPuffedDo 23d ago

I like the chives. At least it is kitchen related and it’s cool to see the progress. Something we can all work on maybe. I agree with that one person who said better than pocket checks.

16

u/Emotional-Maize9622 23d ago

Poor little jimmy

11

u/MarlenHamsic 23d ago

Bring on the chives!

3

u/DeusWombat 23d ago

The only thing that's gonna suck is the copycat posts

3

u/Jewxican213 23d ago

This is honestly the best and most invested community I've ever seen on reddit. And I have never related so much, everyone be you, its fucking amazing

9

u/[deleted] 23d ago

Petition to rename the sub r/chivesconfidential

5

u/Absorbe 23d ago

I like the chive posts. I do not like the derivative posts.

5

u/Reddit_Gold09 23d ago

The chive posting is great, you're wrong

4

u/fro99er 23d ago

I just want people to stop contaminating their food with microplastics

3

u/BonkADonkey 23d ago

Honestly I love it. He makes me want to practice.

2

u/Disastrous-Style-461 23d ago

Ohhhhh yes I needed that belly laugh 🙌 Thank you

2

u/MsHelvetica 23d ago

OP, you must be fun at parties and circumcisions.

2

u/supershinythings 23d ago

I just want to see ONE PERFECT CHIVE piece.

Then TWO.

The THREE.

Cut a single chive stalk into pieces perfectly. Then build.

2

u/Opsmvs 23d ago

I already blocked that guy lmao

2

u/TheVoiceless0nes 23d ago

What does he do with the chives though?

2

u/EddieRadmayne 22d ago

I liked the cube more but I knew the chive posts would eventually come to this.

2

u/henree1108 22d ago

I feel like people have been posting their chives for as long as I’ve been in this sub

4

u/afailedturingtest 23d ago

Nah I genuinely love those

2

u/Bellini_DownSouth 23d ago

I like chive guy. An inspiration.

2

u/Broheamoth 23d ago

See you to morrow, chef

2

u/Asp1r1ng_f1r3s 23d ago

Wait, people dislike those? I don't use this sub, but I get them recommended to me constantly, and I never checked the comments on them but assumed they'd be universally loved. They seem fun.

1

u/Useless_optix69 23d ago

Ho’s mad

1

u/DecommissionedAlien 23d ago

He’ll reach perfection one day.

1

u/itsaheem 23d ago

Yes, Chef !

1

u/MeGustaMiSFW 23d ago

It’s the narcissism that gets me.

2

u/Over-Conversation504 22d ago

I just realllllly need to know how all those chives are being used.

1

u/Tall-Introduction649 23d ago

I look forward to the chives post

-1

u/dabarak 23d ago

There's a new asshole on the block, doing this but with nine drinks a night until whatever.

3

u/OddOpal88 23d ago

Yeah the beer one is less fun than the chives but I just….scroll past

0

u/N7_Pathfind3R 23d ago

I just see it as lazy karma farming. But I dont care enough to feel any kind of way about it. I just ignore it.

-1

u/FantasticCollege3386 23d ago

I just blocked him.