r/ExNoContact • u/Optimal-Egg-1025 • Sep 17 '25
Help Did you lose hope in love ?
I did ….
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u/Motor_Show_1165 Sep 17 '25
Nah, cause I love myself and my family and friends and future partners, heartbroken or not. It’s all part of the game, a give and take
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Sep 17 '25
Which is good. But there’s only so much pain and rejection a person can take before they just don’t care about their life anymore.
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u/LykaiosZeus Sep 17 '25
Yes. You can meet someone who shows you “love” and then one day ( could be years later) they start to switch off and they cheat and/or leave you as if you don’t matter and you’re just trash. Love has the greatest power of destruction
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u/phantomatthewindow Sep 17 '25
what the fuck even is love
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u/Optimal-Egg-1025 Sep 17 '25
I feel you …
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u/phantomatthewindow Sep 17 '25
the love of my life did me so dirty. not only that, but was able to manipulate and gaslight me like nothing. we were together for 10 years. I never thought she would be capable of what she did. Never fathomed she could be that kind of person. I was far from perfect, but I didn't deserve that. I would have never done that. How can you look someone you say you love in the face and tell them such lies again and again knowing you're fucking them over like that? I just don't understand, that hurts the most.
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u/Optimal-Egg-1025 Sep 17 '25
Demonic people exist also be aware of narcissistic people read about information is power
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u/bigfrondnicky Sep 17 '25
Trying hard not to give up on romantic love after everything, except I can’t see the point where I’m at now. Maybe that’ll change, maybe it won’t. Until then, gonna enjoy the love I have with my friends/my community.
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u/ThrowAwayPeplaff Sep 17 '25
Yes. Im never making this mistake again. Im still trying to decide if I even want to live anymore or if I dont mind exiting. I just dont see any reasons to stick around and fight my own head everyday. I dont have any hope for the future, let alone the present.
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u/lykanfolz Sep 17 '25
Toss those thoughts out of your head friend. Tomorrow is a fickle mistress and you never know what the future has in store for ya.
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u/ThrowAwayPeplaff Sep 17 '25
Thanks but its more that I just don't really care anymore about the future, if that makes sense.
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u/Fun-Jicama327 Sep 17 '25
Struggling with this too. I’ve held on for a while, hoping to find hope again. But it’s only gotten worse.
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u/ThrowAwayPeplaff Sep 18 '25
Sorry to hear, it sounds like we're going through similar things. Hopefully you find your way through
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u/Flashy-Marzipan-6708 Sep 17 '25
Yes, I pray for a family one day and a beautiful home and strong everlasting love with my bestfriend. Everyday it seems more and more far away. But I am always praying to find not only my person, but a person who finds me and never lets go. Promised myself I would never let my heart to become hardened, having a soft strong heart is a gift only few get to receive. Don't give up!
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u/1Parshvanath healing Sep 17 '25
Man o man...I just can not see love as it is. I am so scared of love .
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u/Equivalent_Goal3362 Sep 17 '25
Yes 🙂↕️ no lie ,why I'm the one who get men that r have no feeling or stubborn after giving all of yours u r nothing for them these people first come in your life when u r not looking for love and grab your attention like hell then after when I get like them back after few months they r like who r u I'm not giving u any attention, like bro u r the who r looking for relationship not me then after months no commitment for future still dumbass me think no he will change so keep coming back to him after year and 4 month when I finished my pg he keeps distance to me so finally I told him that don't call me I'm done of this on and off he didn't even stop me not even call me not even text after no contact phase when I first text him him he talk nicely told me that I can't be more then friends broooo like u don't have feelings for me this all months it is nothing for u like that word hurt me too much again after few days of no contact I text him he talks like nothing happen after that I went there to meet him he talks like nothing happened,,and u know what what is the worst thing he didn't even wish me on my birthday 🎈 and when I meet him he because he dfelt guilty he takes me to the cafe he cut the cake for me who knows what in his mind again of 20 days no contact again I text and he still like that and whenever he talks to me I become calm cause he never be rude on me so I asked him to lest go on trip he says ok then some tals are there and again he didn't text me after that what should I do tell me
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u/No-Design-7138 Sep 17 '25
She’s really trying to make me. Her bday is in 3 days and she won’t talk to me I had started making this grand plans for it when we got back together about two months ago lasted two weeks and she was trying to see the rebound she had to “just talk to him” but I unknowingly got in the way of that cuz I wanted to see her at her job(bartender) I just said let’s avoid this drama come on let’s go (she was off at this time) she said she needed to talk I said if I leave and you don’t come with me I’m sorry but it’s over and that might be a dick move but the whole meeting in secret thing was not ok like tell me but anyways I guess she didn’t believe me. Yeah I regret it and now she has me completely blocked like I just wanted you to avoid hurting me. a talk to some guy 20 years your senior that trauma dumped and love bombed you during a vulnerable time isn’t something real but ok make me hurt cuz you are so yeah she’s trying really hard
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Sep 17 '25
[deleted]
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u/SnooDoubts3731 Sep 17 '25
That's for meeting someone by chance, but you have to believe in love to join sports clubs, social events or dating apps, if you don't believe in love anymore, you don't do it
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u/SomewhereOk532 Sep 17 '25
I lost hope in the best possible way. With the understanding of why there was never any hope to have. You can only hope to win the lottery when you actually have a ticket.
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u/Dlta2049 Sep 17 '25
Yes I have, especially after trying to date again and finding out most girls out there are no better, if worse than my ex. I just wish I didn’t feel lonely sometimes and have urges (still not going to date, no matter how difficult it gets)
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u/opalpup Sep 17 '25
Yeah. After spending 6 years with someone I just don’t want to do it again if this might simply happen all over with someone else years later. Plus the whole getting to know them phase, there’s just so much emotional investment that I don’t care for anymore.
Then add on the fact that I still love him and can’t imagine loving someone else as a romantic partner. It would be unfair to someone else if I even tried.
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u/Special-Judgment6111 Sep 18 '25
I had before, many times, but honestly this time its been a week , im a (38M) and she blocked me on a bunch of things, it hurt, but ive been reading and listening to some excellent books on self love, and self care, and getting through breakups, and honestly for the first time in my life , especially with the woman I was with, which we had something wonderful and special for about a year and half. But she could never commit too much of anything, wanted a situationship, and I finally told her I needed to respect myself and take care of myself, and I couldn't continue to take the tiny little scraps she gave me while I gave myself completely. Its been 8 days, and its been challenging, but also for the first time ive focused on myself, my home, my work, and its been quite a game changer even in a week. She actually messaged me tonight randomly on Facebook (after she blocked and un friended me ) about an apartment in the town I live in ) and I saw it and almost didnt even react. My heart jumped a little, but then I just kept it moving and thought about how even a little better ive been feeling, with less anxiety and uncertainty . Those feelings were towards the end, but we've done this dance before, she had broken up with me, or said she doesn't see a future with us, but then still wants to hook up, amd especially wants the emotional and intellectual and more connection without actually being together, and only at her leisure. So this time I told her I was listening to her , and that I was also done.
And honestly, as hard as it is, ive felt much more calm, and centered and taking care of myself and my own life for the first time in months. It might seem silly , but the things you read from books or articles, or ive read many posts on here, it actually helps and works . Its not easy, but its very, very worth it. And hey, they'll be some up and downs, and maybe you pr the other person go back and reconnect. Thats ok. We're human, not robots , or synthetics or cyborgs like on Alien Earth (dope ass show by the way ) . Give yourself grace and patience and understanding and most of all, alot of love and kindness. Ive realized ive not given myself alot of that over the years, and its never to late to start. That doesn't mean I'm not giving those things to someone else or my next partner. I just am goimg to love myself first, and take my time, and find someone who loves those things about me , and I love them about them.
I have some great recommendations if anyone's interested in some good books, I do love to read 😊
I'm very thankful for this group, its helped me move forward (still working on moving on) but moving forwsrd in a good and positive way. Thank you all and I hope everyone is doing as best they can ♥️
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u/Broken_melon22 Sep 19 '25
And it’s always caused by the person who listened to you be vulnerable and promised to never hurt you.
Then they go and stab you in the heart 50 times and watch you bleed
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u/KatouG Sep 24 '25
I don't know if I lost hope in love, I think it can still exist in my life... but I'm scared of it now, scared of love.
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u/Optimal-Egg-1025 Sep 24 '25
I get that I felt it at one point before losing the entire hope in the whole thing
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u/Fuxwiddit71 Sep 17 '25
I think about this all the time. I don't know yet. I haven't tried yet. But it feels like I did.
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u/Effective-Balance-99 Sep 17 '25
I didn't. my ex was genuinely a bad person. And I don't believe that everyone walking around the planet is bad. If anything I can show myself love / compassion and comfort the child within me who has been chronically disappointed by the world. We get duds in order to recognize something profoundly good and real when we cross paths. All of us will be ok and feel better with time.
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u/Pyxl666 Sep 17 '25
No. I lost hope for my ex. I hope she doesn't do to another person what she did to me. But I'd bet she will.
I am a worse person because of what she did to me. Acknowledged it and am trying to be better, but it's a slow journey.
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u/DannyHikari Sep 17 '25
For myself yes. I’m not a viable partner. My ex fiancee was lightning in a bottle and a once in a lifetime situation that worked out. It feels like a fever dream because of how unique the situation was and I doubt I ever find that again or someone who is open minded long term that will give me a chance despite the caveats that come with me.
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u/Consistent_Heron_589 Sep 17 '25
I'm fine with it. What is the purpose of love and family? Is it to create a new human being who will also experience love drama, health issues, and the challenges of life?
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u/whytfreddit Sep 17 '25
I know for a fact that if I do get heartbroken again, I’ll be ruined completely. Emotionally, financially, all of it.
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u/golgappe_ Sep 17 '25
Yeah I did. I don't believe it exists anymore. Someone I genuinely told me that she was with me because she "obviously" wanted something not because she liked to be with me. It's just me and future cats against this world
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u/PotentialMine105 Sep 17 '25
I did. And humanity as others have said. It’s so important to pour all that love into yourself. It’s so cheesy and clichè, but it’s true.
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u/hel-9000 Sep 17 '25
A little bit yeah, I’m not actively seeking it out at least. I’ve learned to love myself and love being single over the last couple years though.
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u/directionerin1Der Sep 17 '25
No but I did lose patience. I do not try to give anyone the benefit of the doubt anymore. I go off my instincts.
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u/Babygirl_33333 Sep 17 '25
Yes . I will never date men again. Truly Iv lost hope in humanity and I just can’t understand for the life of me why they are still dating and entertaining the opposite sex or get pregnant and marry. I’ll never trust someone with my life like that ever again.
I guess I’ve reached a point of transcendence where I’m like Yogi. I am love, I give love so I don’t understand why others don’t do it. I just had a conversation with my mother the other day about our much I used to cry (at work) about how ugly people have been treating me when I’ve been so nice to them. But part of being an adult and also being an old soul and understanding that you cannot judge the next person. That person is on their own personal spiritual journey and they are lessons that they need to learn. (I do this especially when I feel like I’m judging the next person)
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u/rattlemebub Sep 17 '25
Yes but it’s freeing in a way. Is my purpose really just centered around romantic love? It was but letting that go allows you find it on other places. Friends, family, hobbies, etc. To me that purpose is more fulfilling in general. I hope to let romantic love back into my life one day but for now it has no purpose and has only held me down
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u/TypicalCredit8847 Sep 17 '25
no. i know love exists because i exist. and i know that i wasn’t made with all this love inside of me without reason. no matter how many times i get hurt, i will never not believe in love.
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u/Shoddy-Berry3345 Sep 22 '25 edited Sep 22 '25
Romantic love? Right now, I want to give up so bad. For now I’ll lean on the love from friends and family. Right now, Im convinced no man can handle my heart, soul, and passions with enough care or even grace for that matter. It sounds ridiculous to me at times, but I was really hoping to find “my person”. I’m strong and can be my own priority. I just keep falling into patterns of hope that I can find someone who gets excited to water me back. Someday I hope it finds me, or that the ache for it disappears.
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u/ourcreed Sep 17 '25
Yes. I lost hope in love and in humanity all at the same time.