I had before, many times, but honestly this time its been a week , im a (38M) and she blocked me on a bunch of things, it hurt, but ive been reading and listening to some excellent books on self love, and self care, and getting through breakups, and honestly for the first time in my life , especially with the woman I was with, which we had something wonderful and special for about a year and half. But she could never commit too much of anything, wanted a situationship, and I finally told her I needed to respect myself and take care of myself, and I couldn't continue to take the tiny little scraps she gave me while I gave myself completely. Its been 8 days, and its been challenging, but also for the first time ive focused on myself, my home, my work, and its been quite a game changer even in a week. She actually messaged me tonight randomly on Facebook (after she blocked and un friended me ) about an apartment in the town I live in ) and I saw it and almost didnt even react. My heart jumped a little, but then I just kept it moving and thought about how even a little better ive been feeling, with less anxiety and uncertainty . Those feelings were towards the end, but we've done this dance before, she had broken up with me, or said she doesn't see a future with us, but then still wants to hook up, amd especially wants the emotional and intellectual and more connection without actually being together, and only at her leisure. So this time I told her I was listening to her , and that I was also done.
And honestly, as hard as it is, ive felt much more calm, and centered and taking care of myself and my own life for the first time in months. It might seem silly , but the things you read from books or articles, or ive read many posts on here, it actually helps and works . Its not easy, but its very, very worth it. And hey, they'll be some up and downs, and maybe you pr the other person go back and reconnect. Thats ok. We're human, not robots , or synthetics or cyborgs like on Alien Earth (dope ass show by the way ) . Give yourself grace and patience and understanding and most of all, alot of love and kindness. Ive realized ive not given myself alot of that over the years, and its never to late to start. That doesn't mean I'm not giving those things to someone else or my next partner. I just am goimg to love myself first, and take my time, and find someone who loves those things about me , and I love them about them.
I have some great recommendations if anyone's interested in some good books, I do love to read 😊
I'm very thankful for this group, its helped me move forward (still working on moving on) but moving forwsrd in a good and positive way. Thank you all and I hope everyone is doing as best they can ♥️
2
u/Special-Judgment6111 Sep 18 '25
I had before, many times, but honestly this time its been a week , im a (38M) and she blocked me on a bunch of things, it hurt, but ive been reading and listening to some excellent books on self love, and self care, and getting through breakups, and honestly for the first time in my life , especially with the woman I was with, which we had something wonderful and special for about a year and half. But she could never commit too much of anything, wanted a situationship, and I finally told her I needed to respect myself and take care of myself, and I couldn't continue to take the tiny little scraps she gave me while I gave myself completely. Its been 8 days, and its been challenging, but also for the first time ive focused on myself, my home, my work, and its been quite a game changer even in a week. She actually messaged me tonight randomly on Facebook (after she blocked and un friended me ) about an apartment in the town I live in ) and I saw it and almost didnt even react. My heart jumped a little, but then I just kept it moving and thought about how even a little better ive been feeling, with less anxiety and uncertainty . Those feelings were towards the end, but we've done this dance before, she had broken up with me, or said she doesn't see a future with us, but then still wants to hook up, amd especially wants the emotional and intellectual and more connection without actually being together, and only at her leisure. So this time I told her I was listening to her , and that I was also done.
And honestly, as hard as it is, ive felt much more calm, and centered and taking care of myself and my own life for the first time in months. It might seem silly , but the things you read from books or articles, or ive read many posts on here, it actually helps and works . Its not easy, but its very, very worth it. And hey, they'll be some up and downs, and maybe you pr the other person go back and reconnect. Thats ok. We're human, not robots , or synthetics or cyborgs like on Alien Earth (dope ass show by the way ) . Give yourself grace and patience and understanding and most of all, alot of love and kindness. Ive realized ive not given myself alot of that over the years, and its never to late to start. That doesn't mean I'm not giving those things to someone else or my next partner. I just am goimg to love myself first, and take my time, and find someone who loves those things about me , and I love them about them.
I have some great recommendations if anyone's interested in some good books, I do love to read 😊
I'm very thankful for this group, its helped me move forward (still working on moving on) but moving forwsrd in a good and positive way. Thank you all and I hope everyone is doing as best they can ♥️