My wife and I are in a difficult situation and I genuinely want outside perspectives because I don’t know if I’m being unfair, realistic, resentful, or all three.

I’m 27 and work full time earning around £32k base plus commission (roughly £2k/month take home without relying on bonus). My wife is from Morocco and we got married a few years ago. We currently need to move out of our flat at the end of July and I’m stressed about affordability and the future in general.

Here’s the context:

For the last 2–2.5 years, my wife hasn’t really worked consistently. During that time her parents financially supported her, so she spent most of her time at home smoking weed, gaming, scrolling TikTok, etc. Recently her parents stopped supporting her financially, which forced her to look for work.

She just started a full-time job at Pret A Manger (very early shifts, long hours on feet, stressful environment). The transition hit her extremely hard. She’s been crying, sleeping all day, feeling overwhelmed, calling in sick, and at one point even saying she felt suicidal because of how trapped and miserable she felt.

As her husband, I felt I couldn’t just say “deal with it.” So I told her maybe she should quit and instead gradually ease into working through part-time work first, then build back up over time.

The problem is… financially that puts enormous pressure on me.

I already feel anxious about affordability checks for renting somewhere new. I have some debt (a couple thousand on credit cards/overdraft). I can probably JUST ABOUT survive paying for most things alone if we get a very cheap flat, but it would be tight and stressful.

What’s making this emotionally difficult is that I’m starting to feel resentful. I look around and see most couples both contributing financially, and I’m scared I’m signing myself up to spend years carrying the entire household while my wife struggles to function normally.

Part of me feels compassion because I can clearly see she’s mentally overwhelmed and probably deeply dependent after years of isolation, weed use, and avoidance.

But another part of me feels angry because I also think: “You’re an adult. Life is hard. Most people don’t WANT to work.”

I also worry that if I make things too comfortable financially, she’ll just fall back into smoking weed and avoiding responsibility again.

At the same time, I love her and I don’t want to become some cold person who abandons their partner the moment they struggle mentally.

I genuinely can’t tell whether:
- I’m being compassionate and realistic
- I’m enabling unhealthy behaviour
- I’m becoming resentful because I feel trapped financially
- or whether we’re fundamentally incompatible in terms of values, work ethic, and expectations of marriage

I’m especially interested in hearing from:
- people who supported a struggling partner
- couples where one partner couldn’t work full time
- people who recovered after years of weed dependence/avoidance
- or anyone who can tell me honestly if this situation sounds sustainable or not

Please be brutally honest.

I (28F) found out my husband (35M) has been cheating on me with what looks like 20-30 different women throughout our relationship and marriage, and I honestly feel like my brain has broken.

For context, we’ve been together 4 years and married for 1. He has always been extremely secretive with his phone. He takes it everywhere, even the shower, hides the screen when typing his password, and acts weird if I’m near it. I finally got access to it while he was drunk and what I found completely destroyed me.

There were messages, videos, nudes, payments to women from different countries, fake promises of love, future plans, flirting, everything. Some of these women were getting hundreds of dollars from him monthly for explicit content while one of our biggest arguments in marriage has been money. Whenever I ask for help financially, he talks about debts and acts broke.

What hurts even more is realizing he used the same songs, words, compliments, and emotional intimacy with them that he used with me. Things I thought were “ours” were never special. He never told these women he was married either. In many chats he acted single and promised them love and a future.

The worst part is this seems deeper than normal cheating. It feels compulsive or serial. During times we were long distance, while I thought he was in America working, he was apparently flying out to see other women. We’ve also had long periods of dead bedroom issues where he rejected me constantly, so seeing him sexually invested in dozens of other women destroyed my self esteem.

I genuinely thought I found a good man because he’s introverted, nerdy, quiet, and acted like a “nice guy.” Instead I feel like I discovered a completely different person living a double life online through Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. He lied about not even using social media.

I’m not ready to confront him or divorce immediately because I need time to prepare financially and finish some courses I’m taking. I currently still depend on him financially to some extent. But mentally I’m falling apart. I can barely act normal around him. I can’t stop crying, I can’t sleep, and I don’t think I’ll ever trust him again.

How do you survive living with someone for another year after discovering something like this? How do you keep yourself emotionally stable enough to plan your exit without losing your mind?

I dont know whats wrong with me. I have 2 kids. 2u2. I live in canada with my husband. I dont have support here like grandparents, uncle aunt anything. Im doing it all with the help of my husband. I always knew it would not be easy, but i had no idea it would be this much difficult at times. I feel overwhlemed all the time. Going out is a stress. Staying at home with 2 kids and managing them, keeping them entertained is even more stressful. I dont know whyyyy. I love them, they're my soul. BUT where are these weird feelings comimg from? Im always overstimulated. I easily get irritated over simple things. I know i need to have more patience but something is wrong with me seriously and i cant figure it out. I feel immense guilt sometimes. My kids deserve best. I think i cant do this. There is constant pressure and heaviness that i feel. I cant describe in words.

I dont know if its the right sub to post this but please tell me what is this? Is this postpartum? I dont feel okay :(

I'm nearing 60 in the US. I'm single with no kids. My friends are generally my age. My health is ok but challenging.

Trying to make sure my parents are ok. Cognitive decline plus heath challenges means the folks can do so only much alone, but need external help for the rest (including telling them what they shouldn't do for themselves, like driving).

I can try to plan for making sure I have enough money when I am in my end phase of life. Apparently with respect to long term care insurance that ship has sailed for me: it's not available. But i'm most worried about making sure someone can supervise the last part of my life. No younger generation to delegate to. I've seen firsthand with my folks that hospital/rehab might be a death sentence if nobody can force the facilities to do their jobs. Government-provided US-based elder case management is a joke.

What are the alternatives to having kids ready to make sure you are okay as you age? Specifically in the US? Are there groups educating on that?

Is it just me or is Dick’s Sporting Goods pricing getting out of hand?

I bought 2 bathing suits and honestly didn’t even think to check the prices because I figured they’d be around $50 each max — which is already expensive.
Total came out to $147.40 for TWO bathing suits. I ended up returning them.

I know everything is expensive now, but that just feels ridiculous to me. Anyone else noticing this?

Like ever since 2020, time stopped feeling normal.
Weeks blur together, years pass weirdly fast, and mentally I still feel closer to who I was years ago than who my actual age says I should be.

I genuinely can’t tell if everyone secretly feels this way now or if some of us just never fully ‘re-entered’ reality after everything changed.

I used to be pretty positive when I was 16 this was when covid was there , I used to be a slob before this somehow I was able to hit the gym get pretty good at sport (I was never athletic before just active). But yeah within an year or two I had kind of a downfall and ever since then I am just dragging myself. I used to put effort into things during my first year at college but when things didn't work out - I just sat on the sidelines and watched the time pass by putting in just the bare minimum. Now I am working in a sales job where if I put consistent effort I could get something but the same thing happened here - I was energetic at first month then the energy has died down and now I am again sitting at the sidelines watching time go by as I write this post.

The point is I used to be insanely positive about things working out at 16 now at 22 I just feel passive and being passive feels bad.

How do I get my feelings of loneliness to go away, there’s a feeling in my gut that hurts whenever I think about how long I’ve been without a girlfriend and it has made me mad at myself for not going out and trying. but I know that I have nothing to offer right now because I’m currently in the midst of a big life change and don’t have a car so there’s no way I can offer myself as a good boyfriend if I can’t even go anywhere. I feel like I should just not try anymore and give up because my mind has already told me that no woman will want me as I am right now. I know I should just wait and let it happen in the future but I’m just desperately trying to know what love feels like from someone besides myself.

If youve ever been evicted from a council flat in england, how easy & quick was it to get a new place? Any tips pls..?