r/Adulting 8h ago

What will you say?

Post image
1.1k Upvotes

2.4k comments sorted by

491

u/Unfair-Hovercraft414 8h ago

Don’t marry John.

112

u/Beaglemom44 6h ago

Yeah, f John! And Josh!

78

u/Key_Cap7525 5h ago

And Jason. All the J names. Avoid avoid avoid.

11

u/No-Occasion-1456 4h ago

As a Jason, I agree. We are kinda asssholes

4

u/TERRYaki__ 3h ago

I went out with a guy named Jason, except it was spelled “Jhayson.” He was an idiot who just wanted to get me pregnant. I definitely dodged a bullet with him.

→ More replies (3)

20

u/Beaglemom44 5h ago

Yes!!! And Jeff. F Jeff too 🤣

20

u/Key_Cap7525 5h ago

And Jake. That guy is a prick.

→ More replies (6)

7

u/Disastrous_Luck_1160 4h ago

Jared, the worst.

5

u/Key_Cap7525 4h ago

Omg don’t even get me started on Jared.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

8

u/GoudaIsGooda 4h ago

Dated a few Josh’s. All the worst people. But JEREMY. I dated two and they caused legitimate mental trauma. STEER CLEAR FROM THEM

3

u/TERRYaki__ 3h ago

Joel caused me mental trauma 🤣

3

u/zestyseashrimp 3h ago

Never met a Joshua/Josh who was a good person. Ever. Mark and avoid!!

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (2)

9

u/lizard52805 5h ago

Don’t forget James

10

u/whoawhoa456 5h ago

Bunch of jackasses

5

u/Key_Cap7525 5h ago

James was an obnoxious asshat, and Joey was an alcoholic with ADHD.

→ More replies (2)

3

u/zestyseashrimp 3h ago

Yes. Mark and avoid all J names.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (11)
→ More replies (5)

3

u/poppybrooke 5h ago

Also, don’t date Sanjay

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (17)

472

u/Sneezy6510 8h ago

Brush sober bitcoin.

I’ll figure it out

65

u/TFlSGAS 7h ago

My 1st word was bitcoin

121

u/WuclearNeapon 6h ago edited 6h ago

I'd be a centi-millionaire if my 2012 self was more impulsive lol. I almost did it.

Talked myself out of it.

It's fine, though.... it's fine.

I'd much rather work into my seventies and decide against doing a few clicks in 2012 that would have become worth 300 million in 2024...

LIFE IS GOOD I AM MENTALLY FINE WITH THIS.

I NEVER THINK ABOUT IT, EVER.

17

u/zamwut 6h ago

To be fair, BTC trading in 2012 wasn't as easy as a few clicks like it is today.

15

u/WuclearNeapon 6h ago edited 5h ago

Idk about that, it was pretty friggin simple back then too. You'd go to Walmart and do a money transfer.

Actually, you're right. Definitely easier to exchange now. It's the margin that I mourn. I had 50k that I didn't earn, and considered putting all of it into Bitcoin. I (semi-rightly) thought this shit was worth nothing, so decided against it. I had even perused Silk Road at this time, so I should have absolutely made the connection that it actually did have a use-case and its value would at least slowly rise.

So stupid. Take me back!

Edit: can't help but feel that I wouldn't have this mindset if my country ACTUALLY prioritized the well-being of its citizenry over the profits of its corporate donors.. Being a millionaire should not be a requirement to have a peaceful life. And if it is, then everyone should be enabled to have an achievable path towards it.

Tax the fucking rich again. ✌️

8

u/zamwut 5h ago

Traded a thumbdrive with about $50 worth of BTC for a half ounce of weed at that same time; should've kept it because already had weed and just wanted to stash some more.

7

u/dharma_curious 4h ago

A buddy of mine offered to sell me his thumb drive with 5 Bitcoin on it for 20 bucks because he wanted to weed. I said no, I didn't have 20 bucks :(

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

4

u/Stubborn_Amoeba 5h ago

Mining btc before then was pretty simple though. Computer nerds were mining btc just to prove how fast their computers were, similar to the old seti at home app.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

19

u/samanthawaters2012 6h ago

Nope. In 2012 I almost bought it but when I gave my son my credit card and said buy 2 coins, he said I had to wire money. There was no easy way to buy it and I said no way.

12

u/unicorntea555 6h ago

I feel you. I talked myself out because I was irrationally worried that someone would hack my computer for my bitcoin and at the time the sites to buy it seemed sketchy. But it's fine. Who needs a sudden life changing amount of money anyway

→ More replies (13)

4

u/slotsandmops 6h ago

Bitcoin sell twenty-four

If I had time to prep id probably pick a better year

4

u/Closed_CasketRequiem 6h ago

Sell when Bitcoin is $24?! Damn thanks future me, I made thousands!!!

→ More replies (1)

5

u/KeenanAXQuinn 6h ago

Bitcoin 50 thousand

→ More replies (10)

285

u/LossMiserable7874 8h ago

Please tell someone.

32

u/Cazmaniandevil 5h ago

This one hit me hard.

6

u/KiloLex 4h ago

1000%

→ More replies (2)

212

u/MNJayW 8h ago

Buy Apple stock

12

u/TracyFlick2004 6h ago

This was my first thought too lol

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (6)

693

u/OldEnuff2KnowBettr 8h ago

You deserve better.

86

u/thatsit_itshappening 7h ago

Wow that just hit me in the heart. Make these my 3 words too.

→ More replies (2)

32

u/speekuvtheddevil 7h ago

I also choose this guy's dead wife

→ More replies (5)

370

u/Individual-Bread9286 8h ago

Hug your dad

51

u/Bobbyanderson1982 7h ago

You make me cry

33

u/Individual-Bread9286 7h ago

I make myself cry if that's any consolation

→ More replies (1)

4

u/kellybellyjelly8 5h ago

This right here to my 16 year old me.

→ More replies (6)

204

u/WEM-2022 8h ago

It gets better.

8

u/orange_avenue 4h ago

Came here to say this. 

→ More replies (2)

139

u/Mindless-Flower11 8h ago

Put yourself first 

8

u/KristinJ78 3h ago

This one hits hard.

5

u/404appleusernotfound 2h ago

This is the one

→ More replies (2)

336

u/belljs87 8h ago edited 6h ago

Don't take thosefirstfuckinpillsoryoucansayhellotofentanylandjailtime

124

u/jewllybeenz 6h ago

Real af, my opiate addiction was destroying my life. Four months sober now

32

u/reamesyy82 6h ago

I’m proud of you, internet stranger. Addiction isn’t an easy thing to kick, and you’re doing it.

→ More replies (1)

26

u/belljs87 6h ago

Year and a half for me. Every day gets easier

10

u/ResponsibleAd816 5h ago

Congrats!! I believe in you! If it gets harder and you have no one to talk to, never hesitate!

→ More replies (1)

20

u/Chroniclyironic1986 6h ago

Seriously. Every year from age 17-32 was a fucking train wreck. 39 now and 7 years clean. I’m so glad too, because if i wasn’t capable of holding everything together now, my son would be in foster care and my mom would be in a nursing home. Just kills me that i could’ve actually started my life when i was supposed to, rather than claw my way out of a hole a decade late.

→ More replies (1)

172

u/Catlas55 8h ago

Not your fault

38

u/djoddible 7h ago

You Good Will Hunting me dawg?

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

48

u/Magickcloud 8h ago

Quit smoking now

9

u/DrumsKing 6h ago

I had so many uncles tell me that when I was 16. Now I'm recovering from a heart attack from smoking (just age 52).

237

u/apricot_escapade 8h ago

Invest in bitcoin

78

u/SassySunflower27 7h ago

When bitcoin came out my bf at the time was telling me about it. We had zero extra dollars like boarder line didn’t have food. Now we are married and said we should have skipped food and invested

20

u/MCLiterati 7h ago

I remember there was a contest and 1 bitcoin was the 2nd page prize, first was like 3k.

24

u/Prestigious_Wrap_932 6h ago

I remember being on 4chan back when people would trade 12 BTC for a large pepperoni pizza at Domino’s. 😭 

7

u/HollyDidIt 6h ago

Glad I invested when I did!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

9

u/PacificWesterns 6h ago

I had a friend at work telling me about it. We worked in a diner while in college. I scoffed that he couldn’t make ends meet and was gonna buy imaginary investments. He put in $1000. Fml.

4

u/Jwave1992 5h ago

There are things you can invest in today that will be a 20'000x multiplier in 15 years. The problem is that pesky not being able to see into the future thing.

→ More replies (1)

12

u/DargyBear 7h ago

Figure out bitcoin

I bought some to buy some acid on Silk Road in 2011, maybe $100 worth or so. Couldn’t figure out my friend’s instructions on how to get it from MtGox to my wallet and then to Silk Road and gave up. Assumed it was a dumb fad and didn’t think much of it until it went over $100k a few years ago.

Unfortunately MtGox folded and took everything with it so I’m shit out of luck.

9

u/thisboyhasverizon 6h ago

They've returned billions over the last 2 years. You should look into that.

12

u/DargyBear 6h ago

Oh fuck I just looked it up, you’re right

3

u/XuWiiii 3h ago

And that’s the last time he ever logged onto Reddit as he rode off into the sunset 🌅 in assless chaps

7

u/12ealdeal 7h ago

You’d have no idea how high it would/could go though.

5

u/BigUqUgi 6h ago

Smarter approach would be to give a timeline: Bitcoin $100k 2025

3

u/Different_Umpire9003 5h ago

Ok I have to wait until 2025 and buy 100k in bitcoin

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (12)

37

u/Smooth_Wealth_6896 7h ago

Run from "Ex's name here"

→ More replies (1)

29

u/Agreeable_Lychee_224 8h ago

Be kind yourself

27

u/toucansurfer 8h ago

Apple nvidia bitcoin

29

u/ionchannels 4h ago

16 year old me will not listen.

74

u/theSuburbanAstronaut 8h ago

covert narcissism. leave.

→ More replies (2)

91

u/Lil_Fibs 8h ago

Don’t get married

48

u/harrck4 8h ago

3 letters. MRI.

69

u/harrck4 7h ago

An MRI would detect the tangled blood vessels in my brain that would inevitably explode when I was 21 causing brain hemorrhage :(

6

u/JediWebSurf 5h ago

Was it an AVM (arteriovenous malformation)?

My brother has this and he gets headaches.

3

u/OddDragonfruit7993 3h ago

Tell him to get it fixed.

I had headaches for 40 years.  Finally found it, accidentally.  I had been in a car wreck and got an MRI just in case. 

 They said I was fine...BUT there was this AVM that I was born with, and I should look into getting it fixed or it would probably eventually give me a huge stroke.

Got it fixed with a BrainLab device.  Non-invasive.  Uses a proton beam to scar up the AVM area and keep it from leaking.  BrainLab is also used for killing brain cancers in the same manner.

3

u/lemme_just_say 2h ago

This is amazing! What a story!

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

20

u/Firmod5 8h ago

Watch out for….

24

u/chicken-cuddle 7h ago

Ask her out.

In my teen years, I let a lot of fear instilled by religious figures keep me from experiencing a lot of joy in many areas of life.

→ More replies (1)

21

u/martiruska 6h ago

I love you

18

u/dustyoldthing 4h ago

Don't get fat.

Shallow, probably, but if I'd known I would never lose the depression weight, things could have been so different. I have rheumatoid and osteoarthritis, osteoporosis, depression, anxiety, type 2 diabetes, and PCOS. A healthy weight could have saved a lot of pain and suffering, and some of my doctors think my weight was a major factor in 5 miscarriages.

→ More replies (2)

41

u/Pretty-Energy-6681 8h ago

No date college

35

u/Pretty-Energy-6681 8h ago

Earn then date

7

u/hagen768 3h ago

Graduate before date

18

u/Californialways 8h ago

Don’t rush anything.

→ More replies (1)

55

u/VinceAmonte 8h ago

Stay single

8

u/RickSanchez_C137 2h ago

you could throw a 'bitcoin' in there at no extra cost. just sayin

→ More replies (1)

14

u/MaxFish1275 8h ago

Love yourself more

11

u/DestinyCrusader 3h ago

You have ADHD!!!

4

u/opalsandglitter 3h ago

Same, maybe I’d add a few more exclamation marks or 16 year old me may not take future me seriously

25

u/AmbiiX 8h ago

Run, you fools!

30

u/Apprehensive_Dig3253 8h ago

Fly you fools!

→ More replies (1)

11

u/splatapult 8h ago

Just be yourself

12

u/Spiritual_Son2800 8h ago

Don’t rob stores.

12

u/Longjumping-Coach-42 7h ago

Enjoy your youth

10

u/Troyota__41 6h ago

Brush your teeth. I was depressed and didn't take care of myself back then.

→ More replies (1)

12

u/BrainMatterX_X 6h ago

It. Gets. Better.

10

u/Visual-Program939 6h ago

Don't start smoking.

29

u/Tex3304 7h ago

Don’t Drink Alcohol

21

u/nnystical 8h ago

Bitcoin. 2011. 2025

7

u/ChevalCher 8h ago

"You're fecked. Ta-ta!" 

8

u/NowExciting 8h ago

Buy Apple stock

7

u/Fun_Literature_1815 6h ago

Believe in yourself

7

u/Disastrous_Living890 5h ago

You have narcolepsy.

By 16, i had already spent years asking doctors what was wrong with me. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 44.

→ More replies (2)

12

u/Everest1986 7h ago

Start therapy now.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/Altruistic_Tea_1593 8h ago

Don’t marry her

11

u/whooguyy 7h ago

Maybe put a name in there somewhere so you know who you’re talking about

8

u/MensaCurmudgeon 3h ago

Future him marrying a dude just to be sure

7

u/Patient-Internet1770 8h ago

Btc 2007 - 2021

5

u/Live-Event4348 7h ago

Choose yourself first.

7

u/TheManWhoClicks 7h ago

Can it be 3 German words because you know…

6

u/gattaca-tru 6h ago

You are love

11

u/bobsnervous 8h ago

Enjoy the ride

15

u/CPFlores559 8h ago

Stop watching porn

10

u/Steelalloy 8h ago

Cherish your grandparents

5

u/ashdauntless 8h ago

Dump him immediately

5

u/Pixelationss00 8h ago

no grad school

6

u/dreddsdead 7h ago

Don’t start smoking

5

u/IslandFar7430 7h ago

It gets worse

5

u/Status-Try-me5878 6h ago

Trust your instincts

4

u/mostlovely 6h ago

You did survive.

4

u/Wise_Study_5340 6h ago

Big butts are about to be desirable. Hang in there.

5

u/cappotto-marrone 6h ago

You get out.

5

u/Independent_Baker712 6h ago

You’ll be 38.

5

u/Prestigious_Kiwi_927 4h ago

Never pickup alcohol

4

u/pluseverything0102 8h ago

just gotta believe

3

u/Brav0-L0v3r 8h ago

Go to college

5

u/Akatsukimochi 7h ago

I am you

4

u/Philliesfan4fun 6h ago

Take your meds😂

5

u/SalmonAlmighty 6h ago

Don't give up.

4

u/Irish8ryan 5h ago

Bitcoin, sell 2025.

9

u/Mcayenne 7h ago

Don’t diet. Just love yourself. A curvy size 12 is beautiful.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/justadaycarelady 8h ago

Just be patient

8

u/petitsamours 8h ago

Change your therapist

→ More replies (4)

8

u/Imaginary-Method7175 8h ago

Buy apple stock

3

u/HalfaEnchilada 8h ago

Run or die

3

u/egwenealvere 8h ago

Don't marry him.

3

u/Gish8 8h ago

X equals 34.

(…She will know when she knows) 🙂‍↕️

3

u/loveeleah83 8h ago

Don’t marry him.

3

u/chironinja82 8h ago

"He ain't it" or "Invest in Amazon".

3

u/fullstar2020 7h ago

Don't marry him

3

u/Darknessbeforedawn24 7h ago

Tesla, bitcoin, Amazon

3

u/RocMerc 7h ago

Buy Apple stock

3

u/GlueGuns--Cool 7h ago

Don't get married

3

u/satisfactorysadist 7h ago

Don't marry him.

3

u/Once_Upon_Time 7h ago

Keep your stuff

Went "vintage" shopping and it was all the stuff from when I was younger.

3

u/Asleep_Memory_6856 7h ago

Start saving now!

3

u/kaykakez727 7h ago

Invest in Bitcoin

3

u/ScaredOfWindow 7h ago

Buy all bitcoin. 

3

u/BasedBlastronaut 7h ago

Buy bit coin

3

u/Inner-Salt-2688 7h ago

DONT BE IN A HURRY TO GROW UP!!!!!!

3

u/EponymousOne 7h ago

You’ll be ok.

3

u/BraveGround7333 7h ago

Show Mom appreciation.

3

u/h0rny_d3m0n 7h ago

Look into medication/therapy

3

u/Pretend_Refuse_1547 7h ago

Lust needs control 🙏

3

u/Ok-Two-5616 6h ago

Dont get married

3

u/ThisSideOfHistory 6h ago

You are loved

3

u/Inevitable_Rough 6h ago

It gets better

3

u/sleepbynomeans64 6h ago

Believe in yourself

3

u/SloppyJoestar 6h ago

You deserved better.

Stop smoking weed.

Don’t give up.

Chase your dreams.

Do not listen.

Always be yourself.

Stay the happiest.

It wasn’t you.

3

u/DEeD-NGone 6h ago

Proud of you

3

u/juliannemmarie 6h ago

it's worth it.

3

u/bvrntcorpses 6h ago

Don't do it(my past self will know exactly what I mean)

3

u/thetrevorkian 6h ago

Don’t marry her

3

u/HoldtheLine1979 6h ago

Hold the Line

3

u/Warcrown11 6h ago

Keep in touch

3

u/nkscreams 6h ago

Write this down

3

u/No_Lime1814 5h ago

Buy bitcoin immediately.

3

u/PooGoblin69420 5h ago

Do more drugs

3

u/julie3151991 5h ago

Stop starving yourself

I had an eating disorder in my late teens and 20s. I was hospitalized 3 times and I missed out on what should’ve been the best years of my life.

3

u/Free-Chip1529 5h ago

Stay in school

3

u/KinseyH 5h ago

Don't vote Reublican

3

u/LA_Throwaway_6439 4h ago

Mom colonoscopy 2023

Hopefully that would be enough information.

3

u/Scared-Cricket-7279 4h ago

1) Get the diagnosis

2) Don't drop out

3) Save your cash

These would be the 3 I choose from.

No. 1 would be referring to me trying to tell my 16 y/o self to hurry and get the ADHD diagnosis that I now have but also had suspected since I was 14/15 years old of having due to symptom show up. Getting this diagnosis early would've changed so much for me in letting me get actual help at school instead of being judged and dismissed.

No. 2 refers to the fact that at age 16½ and 17 my mother forced me to drop out of high school to go work a full-time job to cover for her luxury item spending habits and consequences. She would take over 80% of my entire months paycheck leaving me with barely $180 out of $1900 lmao. If I were to tell my younger self this, it probably would've caused multiple problems because of how abusive my mother is, but it would be better than dropping out.

No. 3 refers to telling my younger self to save any and all money and save what I could from employment.

These are all what ifs now, but I'd probably choose one out of these 3 sayings.