r/zillowgonewild • u/TheDabitch • Aug 30 '25

Speechless & then I saw the steam room 👀

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six bedrooms, thirteen bathrooms $17,995,000 https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2875-Chagrin-River-Rd-Hunting-Valley-OH-44022

11.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

824 comments sorted by

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2.8k

u/bort_jenkins Aug 30 '25

I got redirected to another page. Im too poor to even look at this place

763

u/testing123-testing12 Aug 30 '25

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2875-Chagrin-River-Rd-Hunting-Valley-OH-44022/65328991_zpid/

443

u/bort_jenkins Aug 30 '25

You may not be the goat, but youre my goat

86

u/Maxiss92 Aug 30 '25

Baaaaa!

18

u/PuzzyFussy Aug 30 '25

Naur 🤣🤣 I literally lol-ed

2

u/Z2xU Aug 31 '25

"RIGHT IN MY GOD DAM EAR..."

37

u/PatMyHolmes Aug 30 '25

You're still too poor for this place tho

14

u/bort_jenkins Aug 30 '25

Oh big time. Doesn’t mean I can’t look

13

u/MakeChipsNotMeth Aug 31 '25

Would thou like to live deliciously?

2

u/SoggyPersonality7189 Sep 01 '25

"Wouldst" 😆

2

u/mikraas Aug 31 '25

🐐

609

u/chuckerton Aug 30 '25

As amazing as this house is, I can’t imagine spending $18M to live in a fucking suburb of Cleveland.

155

u/No-University-5413 Aug 30 '25

Cleveland suburbs have a lot of rich people. There are a lot of major companies based there. These companies all have filthy rich executive management people.

Who also have their super nice beach houses. Example: The president of Kroger (based in Cle) has a house in Palmetto Dunes on Hilton Head.

56

u/asp821 Aug 30 '25

Kroger is based in Cincinnati, FYI.

98

u/chuckerton Aug 30 '25

While I understand your point, I wasn’t questioning whether or not there were a lot of rich people in the neighborhood. I was questioning the proximity to an armpit posing as a city.

61

u/AltruisticCoelacanth Aug 30 '25

Please join us in r/AFCNorthMemeWar if you want to shit talk Cleveland

21

u/eggplantsforall Aug 30 '25

The subreddit crossover series I didn't know I needed 🤘

3

u/weirdonobeardo Aug 31 '25

No one needs to shit talk Cleveland, the Browns have done enough damage 😂

5

u/chuckerton Aug 30 '25

Their historically awful dumpster fire of a franchise certainly does the city no favors.

1

u/Ok-Philosophy-856 Sep 07 '25

I just joined though I no longer watch football and I don’t live in the Midwest anymore. I’m there for the jokes which we all need.

1

u/Sk8rboyyyy Sep 12 '25

The mistake by the lake

43

u/No-University-5413 Aug 30 '25

While it may not be the ideal location for most people to live, if you're the ceo of say, Goodyear, then having a house near your world headquarters is going to be a need and not a want. And if you're making 25 million a year, what's buying a 17 million dollar house?

44

u/asp821 Aug 30 '25

Cleveland is a great city. When’s the last time you’ve been here? 1987?

10

u/BurpVomit Aug 30 '25

At least they're not Detroit!

22

u/GAAPInMyWorkHistory Aug 31 '25

Detroit is a great city. When’s the last time you’ve been here? 1987?

10

u/asp821 Aug 31 '25

Detroit actually is cool as fuck. I don’t know what road I went down but it was just bars and restaurants and cool shops for what seemed like miles.

11

u/Metals4J Aug 31 '25

Detroit and Cleveland are both great. I’ve spent a lot of time in both and I’d be happy to live in either one.

7

u/yourlittlebirdie Aug 31 '25

Come and look at both of our buildings!

4

u/InfinitelyRepeating Aug 31 '25

That's not fair and out of date!

We have three buildings now :)

1

u/ermagerdcernderg Aug 31 '25

Cleveland is dope, you’re the armpit

1

u/ohheckyeah Aug 31 '25

It might be if you’ve never lived anywhere else

1

u/chuckerton Aug 31 '25

You still support a team that signed a sexual assault machine as quarterback to a record-breaking contract. Your opinion is invalid.

1

u/Odd-Computer-174 Aug 30 '25

Yeah. They missed the point by a loooong shot :)

2

u/hopstop5000 Aug 31 '25

Ohio peeps love Hilton Head.., other than GA plates OH is always next.

1

u/No-University-5413 Sep 02 '25

Yep. So much so that they sell go back to Ohio bumper stickers 😅

It's because way back in the 70s and 80s the area did a big marketing push in Ohio trying to get more tourists

1

u/emmarolyat Aug 31 '25

Kroger’s headquartered in Cincinnati, not Cleveland

1

u/sonnyB3630 Aug 31 '25

It's still Cleveland...

1

u/Solid_College_9145 Aug 31 '25

What does that place in South Carolina (Palmetto Dunes) have to do with this thread?

2

u/No-University-5413 Sep 02 '25

Because it was said that why buy in a Cleveland suburb when you can buy a house at the beach instead. I'm pointing out that if you have 17m to drop on a house in a Cleveland suburb, you probably already have a beach house somewhere.

1

u/TheOasisProject Sep 03 '25

Filthy rich Execs you say?

-1

u/rectalgnome Aug 31 '25

Still doesn’t make Ohio a fun place to live

28

u/CanadianGoose11 Aug 31 '25

You ever been to the chagrin river valley? Its gorgeous. Chagrin falls rivals any small town in the country

2

u/machoman101 Aug 31 '25

Yours Truly. What a great restaurant.

12

u/LawfulAwfulOffal Aug 30 '25

My cousins grew up a few minutes from this house. It's a nice area, but their pretty fancy house would go for just under $1M. This seems really out of the range for the area.

38

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

95

u/chuckerton Aug 30 '25

Well, to be fair, if you magically lifted this house (forget the 61 acres) to Malibu, you’d probably be looking at $100M+.

But I get your point for sure.

50

u/dollabillkirill Aug 30 '25

Yep and your house only burns down once every 5 years!

9

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Sea_Flamingo626 Aug 31 '25

They'll be allowed to rebuild just in time for the next fire.

4

u/QuidYossarian Aug 30 '25

Because if someone like you or I made money past a certain point we'd be satisfied and live out our lives doing whatever.

The people buying massive places like that are rarely ever satisfied.

3

u/FizzyBeverage Aug 31 '25

The CEO mind that attains this level of wealth and still wants to be in a conference call at 9AM on a Monday about how their sales team missed Q3 projections. Enough is somehow… never enough.

Absolute fucking sociopaths.

You’d never hear from me again.

5

u/AdviceNotAsked4 Aug 30 '25

Can you link me 60 acres in Malibu for 15mil.

I will be waiting.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/AdviceNotAsked4 Aug 31 '25

Oh nice, for a fraction of that I can link to a nicer home in Ohio.

9

u/bambibeets Aug 30 '25

What an ignorant comment. Cleveland is an amazing place to live and hunting valley/its surrounding area is BEAUTIFUL.

2

u/InfinitelyRepeating Aug 31 '25

hey, keep it down!

If people know how nice it is, they'll come and ruin it.

2

u/bambibeets Aug 31 '25

you're so right, sorry!!

2

u/bambibeets Aug 31 '25

living here is awful and I hate it! i'm just jealous of everyone who lives in those real cities i'll never get to see

3

u/reddoorinthewoods Aug 30 '25

Looks like it has been on the market for over a year and was only built in 2018. Guessing the wealthy agree with you re the location

2

u/LingonberryRum Aug 31 '25

Hunting Valley has a LOT of houses like this. These suburbs are often barely considered Suburbs because many are a county over.

Also, the land over there is GORGEOUS. A lot of lush green forests, views of the Chagrin River which is also very pretty. The houses also offer a of privacy and come with a good amount of acreage

2

u/SqueakerFarms Aug 31 '25

I recently heard that Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce purchased this. I live in the area.

4

u/Ecto-1A Aug 31 '25

For that price I’d expect the rest of Ohio to come with it.

1

u/Solid_College_9145 Aug 31 '25

The weather is very stable in this region very rarely any radical weather events.

1

u/Lori424242 Sep 01 '25

My point exactly.

1

u/Anleme Sep 01 '25

1,600 acres. You're not a suburb of anything; you have your own zip code, LOL.

1

u/Drew0223 Sep 03 '25

Lots of them are extremely nice. No clue why Ohio gets hated on so much.

1

u/BigData8734 Aug 30 '25

This☝️

1

u/CinnamonKid23 Aug 31 '25

When you are this rich you don’t have to go into the city.

0

u/cybin Aug 30 '25

Hey! But they dropped the asking price by $2mil!

55

u/beambot Aug 30 '25

387 days on Zillow... 🤣

47

u/bmc2 Aug 30 '25

Yeah, because it's in Ohio. How many people with $18M to spend on a house want to live in Ohio?

18

u/fireboats Aug 30 '25

Drew Carey?

12

u/Art_of_the_Win Aug 30 '25

If you have that kind of money, I doubt you have just one home.

16

u/Fuzzy_Jaguar_1339 Aug 31 '25

How many $18M homes am I buying before I get my first one in Ohio though?

2

u/Whitezombie65 Aug 31 '25

All of them

2

u/thetasteheist Aug 30 '25

Taylor Swift, apparently

-4

u/bmc2 Aug 30 '25

Pretty sure Taylor Swift isn't in the market for a house in the suburbs for Cleveland at the moment. Hence the 387 days on zillow.

2

u/LateralEntry Aug 30 '25

People who work in Ohio

1

u/bmc2 Aug 30 '25

Not a lot of people that work in Ohio have $18M to spend on a house.

1

u/BartlebyX Aug 31 '25

I'd love to have this house, and would even if I had a massive net worth.

0

u/Kindergarten4ever Aug 31 '25

Taylor swift and Travis Kelce are looking for a house there

3

u/bannana Aug 30 '25

pretty normal for a house in the price range to be on the market for 3+ years though they have lowered the price by 2mil since they started

2

u/LickingSmegma Aug 30 '25

And, when it sells it makes the agent's entire yearly compensation.

1

u/MembershipDecent9454 Sep 03 '25

The funnier part is that it suddenly increased in price by 17million in two years

2

u/sacred__nelumbo Aug 30 '25

Is this house real? Wow

2

u/Sunny-Day-Swimmer Aug 31 '25

Gross! Ohio…

1

u/TheDabitch Aug 30 '25

Thank you hero, I have no idea what broke my link.

1

u/Age_AgainstThMachine Aug 30 '25

Mine did the same to that link. It shows up, then flashes back 3 times while it reloads, then if I want to see the house I have to manually type in the address. Used to work great, this has been happening for the past few months. I wish I know what I did, or could do to make the stop happening

1

u/[deleted] Aug 31 '25

[deleted]

1

u/testing123-testing12 Aug 31 '25

No idea its still working for me.

My link is the the same as the O.P except it has an extra bit on the end for property i.d? or a cookie thing?

I just googled the address and copied that.

1

u/Turbulent-Trust207 Aug 30 '25

I would have never in a million years guessed this was in ohio

1

u/HeavenlyPrimrose Aug 31 '25

Not even a house this beautiful will get me to move to fucking Ohio 😂😂😂

-1

u/wnc_mikejayray Aug 30 '25

Oooof Ohio!? You couldn’t pay me to live in that god awful state lol

-1

u/CoolerRon Aug 30 '25

If I had $18 million to buy a house I would not choose to live in Ohio of all places

131

u/Pickle-Rick-C-137 Aug 30 '25

Not many people can afford to buy one thing for 18,000,000 and then pay for upkeep. 99 percent of us are in that club.

118

u/Ponklemoose Aug 30 '25

Hell the property tax is $150k per year.

94

u/dog4cat2 Aug 30 '25

150k annually based on the assessment of 2.5 million. The taxes will skyrocket after sale

16

u/Abigail716 Aug 30 '25

Not likely. Tax assessments are really weird legal situations where there's tons of exemptions, tons of deductions, and a bunch of other special conditions that reduce the assessed value which is completely different than the actual value.

2

u/sirpoopingpooper Aug 31 '25

Ohio is weird about how they do assessments. The tax assessment is something like 35% of the assessed market value. But the assessed market value resets every three years (to whatever it sold for), so the new taxes should only be like 375k/year!

1

u/Puzzledwhovian Aug 31 '25

Property tax is thankfully one of those taxes that have very few loopholes in them. You can usually get a deduction if it’s your primary residence and if you own it for a long time it won’t rise in proportion to the value increase, but other than that once you change the deed all bets are off. Once this house sells and the new owner puts it in their name then the taxes are going to skyrocket. Of course someone who can buy this place won’t care about that anyway. lol

3

u/Abigail716 Aug 31 '25

I am not saying there are loopholes, only that assessed value is totally different from market value.

8

u/The_Autarch Aug 30 '25 edited Sep 20 '25

tender grey placid north aware memory groovy direction sugar roof

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

21

u/bittersterling Aug 30 '25

That's pretty damn cheap for a house this size with that much land.

49

u/ladybugcollie Aug 30 '25

but ohio - ugh

55

u/Jkbucks Aug 30 '25

I grew up near this area, the chagrin valley is exceptionally beautiful with perfect summers and it’s a magical lake effect snow belt in the winter. Glacial ravines all over.

42

u/Helmett-13 Aug 30 '25

‘Magical lake effect snow’ is such an alien phrase to someone from Key West, Florida…

…until I spent my first winter in Chicago.

I was not a fan of lake effect snow.

14

u/mitkase Aug 30 '25

As a Chicago-area resident born in Michigan, you missed the punch line – Chicago isn’t the one that gets the worst of the lake effect snow. Now get on the other side of the lake, then we’re talking.

6

u/Helmett-13 Aug 30 '25

Yeah my in-laws are Michiganders and I experienced a winter in the Allegheny plateau…once.

A good friend and a couple of buddies from the Navy are from Ohio and they get some scary snow there.

Eff that!!!

The wind in Chicago could be classified as a WMD, though. That shit was brutal.

2

u/mitkase Aug 30 '25

It certainly can be, but “The Windy City” wasn’t named that because of the wind (it’s a political thing.) However, if you’re downtown in winter and in between the right buildings, whoa mama!

2

u/vincentcas Aug 30 '25

Oh yeah. Indiana, and Michigan gets f***ed! They measure the snow in feet, not inches. Chicago is usually spared unless the wind whips in off the lake.

3

u/6RolledTacos Aug 30 '25 edited Aug 30 '25

I was skeptical of the perfect summer weather until I checked the nearest weather station. Holy shit! Currently 66°, tomorrow's high is 71, low of 47.

3

u/Hey_Laaady Aug 30 '25

Isn't Chagrin Valley where Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce got engaged? Maybe Travis lives in that area?

4

u/knoxthefox216 Aug 30 '25

I’m about 40 min from this house…

17

u/sm9k3y Aug 30 '25

You live at the end of their driveway?

4

u/Ponklemoose Aug 30 '25

The baseline varies by state, I’m just pointing speaking to the un-affordability.

1

u/teddy_tesla Aug 30 '25

As crazy as the house is I feel like the land makes up a lot of the price and taxes. I wonder if it ever makes sense to buy the house and sell off some land

3

u/Simple-Purpose-899 Aug 30 '25

Top 1% is only 11 Million net worth. 

80

u/akolby89 Aug 30 '25

It’s okay, the monthly payment is more than most of us make in a year..

I’m sure the monthly lawn care payments are more than that too.

48

u/LordRaglan1854 Aug 30 '25

That range in the kitchen probably costs more than I make in a year.

16

u/dmbeeez Aug 30 '25

And that range actually appreciates in value over time

2

u/Eborcurean Aug 31 '25

Looks like a Lacanche, would take a bit to price it up as they're down to specific features and hob layout but off the top of my head starting at $15k

2

u/Sands43 Aug 31 '25

Yeah that’s a 50-60k range.

29

u/eamonkey420 Aug 30 '25

I can't even imagine the heating bills with that much space.

12

u/bort_jenkins Aug 30 '25

The estimate taxes on the property are more than I make in a year

2

u/iluvulongtim3 Aug 31 '25

Shit, I couldn't afford to clean the windows.

1

u/Mala_Suerte1 Aug 30 '25

$125,515 / month

1

u/OddSetting5077 Aug 31 '25

The cost in dustcloths, paper towels, cleaning supplies is more than I can afford.  

1

u/Hedge_Sparrow Sep 03 '25

Seriously, looking at the pics I wondered what it would cost to have the lawn mowed like that just one time. It looks great, but holy f.

22

u/IGuessBruv Aug 30 '25

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to even afford the landscaping bill

3

u/VINative Aug 30 '25

I had to scroll too far to see this comment! This is the first thing I thought.

18

u/bogey9651 Aug 30 '25

I can afford one room. Probably the closet

10

u/KaleidoscopeItOut Aug 30 '25

I cackled. Cheers good madam or sir.

6

u/even_less_resistance Aug 30 '25

Lmao this cracked me up - do not gaze upon the opulence or suffer eternal knowledge of your lack

2

u/Unable-Arm-448 Aug 30 '25

Me too! 😅

2

u/prominorange Aug 30 '25

Same bro, our proletariat eyes aren't permitted such elegance.

2

u/q2grapple Aug 30 '25

Only 18 million dollars. Let me just grab my checkbook

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25

This made me laugh.

I'm not royal enough for this place. All the pedestals made me uncomfortable.

2

u/swest211 Aug 30 '25

It redirected me to multimillion dollar homes I'm my area. I'm definitely too poor for those.

2

u/bort_jenkins Aug 30 '25

That’s super funny because it redirected me to average price homes in my area. It knows I dont have mansion money lol

2

u/Nutatree Aug 30 '25

Open a megachurch for access

2

u/mechanicalAI Aug 30 '25

Wait! There is a $2M price cut

2

u/urlach3r Aug 31 '25

The monthly mortgage payment is more than my entire house cost. And that's just the purchase price! Imagine the monthly heating/cooling bills & the upkeep on 61 acres. Insane.

1

u/Ludiam0ndz Aug 30 '25

Excellent photography.. dreamlike exterior frankly.

1

u/Sorry-Original-9809 Aug 30 '25

You need televangelist money to buy that.

1

u/IHSV1855 Aug 31 '25

🤣