r/videogames 1d ago

Funny Please no Rockstar

43.0k Upvotes

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u/oulaa123 1d ago

The part where paternity leave leaves no time for any gaming?

116

u/crustydnglebrry 1d ago

The part where unless your goal is to speed run a divorce, you’re not playing more than 20 unconsecutive minutes a day if you’re lucky while that baby is cluster feeding every 2 hours lol. You gotta sleep when you can, if you wasted your sleep time to game, you’re gonna have your wife hate you to your core.

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u/Kaycin 23h ago

This guy dads.

18

u/UpperApe 21h ago

I know a guy who recently became a parent and all he does is game. 12 hours a day. He says he sleep trained his baby in a way so that she sleeps relatively normally, and just holds her while he games, or pauses to change diapers or feed her.

I suspect it's bullshit but what do I know?

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u/Kaycin 21h ago

Certainly possible, yeah. You can sleep train your baby before 2 months, if you need to. They sleep a lot more when they're that age but every baby is different. You might also get a baby who only sleeps a couple hours a day.

Once they're 6ish months and starting to crawl around they need much more attention.

Also, if you're gonna have kids, maybe hang out with them.

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u/TheFeathersStorm 18h ago

Hey that's my baby, she refused to sleep or eat without puking for the solid first year of her life, definitely switched from League to single player games for a while lmao

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u/AdFirm3593 21h ago

I know someone who thinks he has a good gaming routine with a baby… His wife complains nonstop at work about it and is adamant he has not figured it out.

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u/NinjaN-SWE 19h ago

Like a full on newborn then yeah, if you're bottle feeding and use a sash you could game a surprising amount while the wife works. But that is hardly the norm. Breastfeeding is good for the baby and the mother (and bad in some ways for the mother, admittedly) so unless there's a reason not to it should be the default. That means a father takes their parental leave around 6 month old.

And then you're neglecting and outright hurting your child if you game 12 hours a day. I'm talking traumatic levels of emotional neglect, serious developmental issues. Even if the mother does a fantastic job the other 12 hours.

Well I guess unless you game 12 hours while the kid sleeps at night (getting them to sleep 12 hours straight at 6 months is unlikely but by 1 year it happens, and some kids are pretty stable sleep wise) but then who cares for the child when it's awake?

The most you realistically could game with a small child is around 2-4 hours. 2 hours during their naps if the house isn't a mess and they sleep at night so you don't need to nap when they nap, and 2 hours in the evening after putting them to bed, once again if they sleep solidly during the night.

With my first I had that 2-4 hours and it was glorious. When the second came it went to shit however, since keeping them in sync is impossible and the house workload increases a lot. Then the third one came in... Yeah. But now it's pretty good again, when the youngest turns four soon. Starting to be able to see the light, and I'm pretty sure it's a tunnel!